THE 

LIFE 

OF 

EEV.  DAVID  BB1INERD, 

CHIEFLY  EXTRACTED  FROM  HIS  DIARY. 


BY  PRESIDENT  EDWARDS. 


OMEWHAT    ABRIDOEE 


EMBRACING, 
IN  THE  CHRONOLOGICAL  ORDER 

BRAINERD'S  PUBLIC  JOURNAL 


MOST  SUCCESSFUL  TEAR 

OF   BIS 

MISSIONARY   LABORS. 


PUBLISHED  BY  THE 

AMERICAN   TRACT    SOCIETY, 

150   NASSAU-STREET,   NEW   YORK. 


It  is  a  striking  chtmicteristic  of  the  life  of  BRAINER^  from 
the  time  of  bis  entering  on  the  study  of  Theology  till  his 
death,  that  he  daily  "  walked  with  God,"  or  mourned  the 
absence  of  the  light  of  his  countenance.  President  Edwards 
has  endeavored  to  exhibit  the  state  of  his  mind  each  day,  us 
described  in  his  diary.  In  this  edition,  many  passages  thus 
inserted  by  Edwards,  especially  such  as  much  resembled 
those  preceding  or  following,  have  been  omitted. 


CONTENTS. 


Page. 
President  Edwards'  Preface 5 

CHAP.  I. — From  his  birth  to  the  time  when  he  began  to 
study  for  the  ministry — containing  his  own  narrative 
of  h'.s  conversion,  his  connection  with  Yale  College 
and  the  grounds  of  his  expulsion  9 

CHAP.  II. — From  about  the  time  when  he  began  the 

study  of  theology,  till  he  was  licensed  to  preach  -  32 

CHAP.  III. — From  his  being  licensed  to  preach,  till  he 

was  commissioned  as  a  missionary  -  45 

CHAP.  IV. — From  his  appointment  as  a  missionary,  to 
his  commencing  his  mission  among  the  Indians  at 
Kaunauineek,  in  New- York  ...  -  -  52 

CHAP.  V. — His  labors  for  nearly  a  year  at  Kaunaumeek 
— temporal  deprivations  and  sufferings — establishes 
a  school — confession  offered  to  the  Faculty  of  Yale 
College — days  of  fasting — methods  of  instructing 
the  Indians — visit  to  New-Jersey  and  Connecticut 
— commencement  of  labor  among  the  Indians  at  the 
Forks  of  Delaware — ordination  -  -  -  -  61 

CHAP.  VI. — Labors  for  the  Indians  at  and  near  the  Forks 
of  Delaware — idolatrous  feast  and  dance — journey 
through  the  wilderness  to  Opeholhaupung,  on  the 
Susquehanna — erects  a  cottage  at  the  Forks  of  De- 
laware— some  evidences  of  a  work  of  the  Spirit 
among  the  Indians — journey  to  Ne\v-F.ngland,  to 
obtain  funds  to  support  a  colleague — visit  to  the  In- 
dians on  the  Susqu-ehanna — journey  to  Crossweek- 
sung,  in  New-Jersey  ------  95 

CHAP.  VII. — Being  Part  I.  of  his  public  Journal  of  "  the 
Rise  and  Progress  of  a  remarkable  Work  of  Grace 
among  the  Indians  in  New-Jersey  and  Pennsylva- 


IV  CONTENTS. 

?•*& 

nia;  kept  by  order  of  tbe  Society  in  Scotland  for 
propagating  Christian  Knowledge" — commence- 
ment of  his  labors  at  Crossweeksung — renewal  of 
labor  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware — conversion  of  his 
interpreter — return  to  Crossweeksung — outpouring 
of  the  Spirit — visit  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware  and 
the  Susquehanna — a  powaw — a  conjurer — renewal 
of  labor  at  Crossweeksung — remarks  on  the  work 
of  divine  grace  .--....  132 

CHAP.  VIII. — Being  Part  II.  of  his  public  Journal  of 
"  the  Continuance  and  Progress  of  a  Remarkable 
Work  of  Grace  among  the  Indians  in  New-Jersey 
and  Pennsylvania:  kepi  by  order  of  the  Society  in 
Scotland  for  propagating  Christian  Knowledge  " — 
renewal  of  labor  at  Crossweeksung — outpouring  of 
the  Spirit — remarkable  case — signal  displays  of  di- 
vine power — a  convert — a  number  of  Christian  In- 
dians accompany  him  io  the  Forks  of  Delaware — 
striking  conversion  at  Crossweeksung — day  of  fast- 
ing— Lord's  supper — conversion  of  a  conjurer — 
general  remarks  on  the  preceding  narrative  -  -  194 

CHAP.  IX. — From  the  close  of  his  public  Journal,  June 
19,  1746,  to  his  death,  October  9,  1747 — continu- 
ance of  labor  at  Crossweeksung  and  Cranberry- 
journey  with  six  Christian  Indians  to  the  Susque- 
hanna, and  labors  there — return  to  Crossweeksung 
— compelled  by  prostration  of  health  to  leave  the 
Indians — confinement  by  sickness  at  Elizabethtown 
— farewell  visit  to  the  Indians — his  brother  John 
succeeds  him  as  a  missionary — arrival  among  his 
friends  in  Connecticut — visit  to  President  Edwards, 
in  Northampton — journey  to  Boston,  where  he  is 
brought  near  to  death — usefulness  in  Boston — re- 
turn to  Northampton — triumphs  of  grace  in  his  last 
sickness — death 278 

CHAP.  X. — Reflections  on  the  preceding  memoir  -        -  345 


FROM 
PRESIDENT    EDWARDS'    PREFACE. 


THERE  is  one  thing,  easily  discernible  in  the  life  of  BRAIN- 
ERD,  which  by  many  may  be  considered  an  objection  to  the 
extraordinary  evidences  of  his  religion  and  devotion,  viz. 
that  lie  was,  by  his  constitution  and  natural  temper,  so  prone  to 
melancholy  and  dejection  of  Spirit.  There  are  some  who  think 
that  all  religion  is  a  melancholy  thing;  and  that  what  is 
called  Christian  experience  is  little  else  beside  melancholy, 
disturbing  the  brain,  and  exciting  enthusiastic  imaginations. 
But  that  Brainerd's  temper  or  constitution  inclined  him  to 
despondency,  is  no  just  ground  for  supposing  that  his  extra- 
ordinary devotion  was  only  the  fruit  of  a  warm  imagination. 
Notwithstanding  this  inclination  to  despondency,  he  was  evi- 
dently one  of  those  who  usually  are  the  farthest  from  a  teem- 
ing imagination  ;  being  of  a  penetrating  genius,  of  clear 
thought,  of  close  reasoning,  and  a  very  exact  judgment;  as 
was  apparent  to  all  who  knew  him.  As  he  had  a  great  in- 
sight into  human  nature,  and  was  very  discerning  and  judi- 
cious in  general ;  so  he  excelled  in  his  judgment  and  know- 
ledge in  divinity,  but  especially  in  experimental  religion. 
He  most  accurately  distinguished  between  real,  solid  piety, 
and  enthusiasm;  between  those  affections  that  are  rational 
and  scriptural,  having  their  foundation  in  light  and  judgment, 
and  those  that  are  founded  in  whimsical  conceits,  strong  im- 
pressions on  the  imagination,  and  vehement  emotions  of  the 
animal  spirits.  He  was  exceedingly  sensible  of  men's  expo- 
sure to  these  things ;  how  extensively  they  had  prevailed, 
and  what  multitudes  had  been  deceived  by  them ;  of  their 
pernicious  consequences,  and  the  fearful  mischief  they  had 


6  PREFACE. 

done  in  the  Christian  world.  He  had  no  confidence  in  such 
a  religion,  and  was  abundant  in  bearing  testimony  against  it. 
iving  and  dying;  and  was  quick  to  discern  when  any  thing 
of  that  nature  arose,  though  in  its  fii-jt  buddings,  and  appear- 
ing under  the  most  fair  and  plausible  disguises.  He  had  a 
talent,  which  I  scarcely  ever  knew  equalled,  for  describing 
the  various  workings  of  this  imaginary  enthusiastic  religion, 
evincing  its  falseness  and  vanity,  and  demonstrating  the  great 
difference  between  this  and  true  spiritual  devotion. 

His  judiciousness  did  not  only  appear  in  distinguishing 
among  the  experiences  of  others,  but  also  among  the  various 
exercises  of  his  own  mind;  particularly  in  discerning  what 
within  himself  was  to  be  laid  to  the  score  of  melancholy;  in 
which  he  exceeded  all  melancholy  persons  that  ever  I  was 
acquainted  with.  This  was  doubtless  owing  to  a  peculiar 
strength  in  his  judgment ;  for  it  is  a  rare  thing  indeed,  that 
persons  under  the  influence  of  melancholy  are  sensible  of 
their  own  disease,  and  convinced  that  such  things  are  to  be 
ascribed  to  it,  as  are  its  genuine  operations  and  fruits.  Brain- 
erd  did  not  obtain  that  degree  of  skill  at  once,  but  gradually; 
as  the  reader  may  discern  by  the  following  account  of  his  life. 
In  the  former  part  of  his  religious  course,  he  imputed  much 
of  that  kind  of  gloominess  of  mind  to  spiritual  desertion,  which 
in  the  latter  part  of  his  life  he  was  abundantly  sensible  was 
owing  to  the  disease  of  melancholy ;  accordingly  he  often  ex- 
pressly speaks  of  it  in  his  diary,  as  arising  from  this  cause.  He 
often  in  conversation  spoke  of  the  difference  between  melan- 
choly and  godly  sorrow;  between  true  humiliation  and  spiri- 
tual desertion  ;  and  the  great  danger  of  mistaking  the  one  for 
the  other,  and  the  very  hurtful  nature  of  melancholy;  dis- 
coursing with  great  judgment  upon  it,  and  doubtless  much 
more  judiciously  for  what  he  knew  by  his  own  experience. 


Another  imperfection  in  Brainerd,  which  may  be  observed 
in  the  following  account  of  his  life,  was  his  being  excessive  in 
his  labors  ;  not  taking  due  care  to  proportion  his  fatigues  to 
his  strength.  Indeed,  the  seeming  calls  of  Providence  were 
very  often  such  as  made  it  extremely  difficult  for  him  to  avoid 
laboring  beyond  his  strength ;  yea,  his  circumstances,  and  the 
business  of  his  mission  among  the  Indians,  were  such,  that 
great  fatigues  and  hardships  were  altogether  inevitable. 
However,  he  was  finally  convinced  that  he  had  erred  in  this 
matter,  and  that  he  ought  to  have  taken  more  thorough  care, 
and  been  more  resolute  to  withstand  temptations  to  such 
degrees  of  labor  as  injured  his  health ;  and  accordingly  he 
warned  his  brother,  who  succeeded  him  in  his  mission,  to  be 
careful  to  avoid  this  error. 

Besides  the  imperfections  already  mentioned,  it  is  readily 
allowed  that  there  were  some  imperfections  which  ran 
through  his  whole  life,  and  were  mixed  with  all  his  religious 
affections  and  exercises ;  some  mixture  of  what  was  natural, 
with  that  which  was  spiritual ;  as  it  evermore  is  in  the  best 
saints  in  this  world.  Doubtless,  natural  temper  had  some 
influence  in  the  religious  exercises  of  Brainerd,  as  it  most  ap- 
parently had  in  those  of  the  devout  David,  and  the  Apostles 
Peter,  John,  and  Paul.  There  was  undoubtedly  very  often 
some  mixture  of  melancholy  with  true  godly  sorrow  and 
real  Christian  humility ;  some  mixture  of  the  natural  fire  of 
youth,  with  his  holy  zeal  for  God ;  and  some  influence  of  na- 
tural principles,  mixed  with  grace  in  various  other  respects, 
as  it  ever  was  and  ever  will  be  with  the  saints,  while  on  this 
side  heaven.  Perhaps  none  were  more  sensible  of  Brainerd's 
imperfections  than  himself;  or  could  distinguish  more  accu- 
rately than  he,  between  what  was  natural  and  what  was  spiri- 
tual. It  is  easy  for  the  judicious  reader  to  observe  that  his 


8  PREFACE. 

graces  ripened,  that  the  religious  exercises  of  his  neart  be- 
came more  and  more  pure,  and  he  more  and  more  distin- 
guishing in  his  judgment,  the  longer  he  lived.  He  had  much 
to  teach  and  purify  him,  and  he  failed  not  to  profit  thereby. 

Notwithstanding  all  these  imperfections,  every  pious  and 
judicious  reader  will  readily  acknowledge  that  what  is  here 
set  before  him  is  a  remarkable  instance  of  true  and  eminent 
piety,  in  heart  and  practice — tending  greatly  to  confirm  the 
reality  of  vital  religion,  and  the  power  of  godliness ;  that  it  is 
most  worthy  of  imitation,  and  in  many  ways  calculated  to 
promote  the  spiritual  benefit  of  the  careful  observer. 

The  reader  should  be  aware  that  what  Brainerd  wrote  in 
his  diary,  out  of  which  the  following  account  of  his  life  is 
chiefly  taken,  was  written  only  for  his  own  private  use ;  and 
not  to  obtain  honor  and  applause  in  the  world,  nor  with  any 
design  that  the  world  should  ever  see  it,  either  while  he  lived, 
or  after  his  death  ;  except  a  few  things  which  he  wrote  in  a 
dying  state,  after  he  had  been  persuaded,  with  difficulty,  not 
entirely  to  suppress  all  his  private  writings.  He  showed  him- 
self almost  invincibly  averse  to  the  publishing  of  any  part  of 
his  diary  after  his  death ;  and  when  he  was  thought  to  be  dy- 
ing at  Boston,  gave  the  most  strict,  peremptory  orders  to  the 
contrary.  But  being  by  some  of  his  friends  there,  prevailed 
upon  to  withdraw  so  strict  and  absolute  a  prohibition,  he  was 
finally  pleased  to  yield  so  far,  as  that  "  his  papers  should  be 
left  in  my  hands,  that  I  might  dispose  of  them  as  I  thought 
would  be  most  for  God's  glory  and  the  interest  of  religion.'7 

JONATHAN    EDWARDS. 


OP 


REV.  DAVID  BRAINERD. 


CHAPTER  X. 

From  his  birth  to  the  time  when  he  began  to  study  for  the 
Ministry — containing  kit  own  narrative  of  his  conversion, 
his  connection  with  Yale- College,  and  the  grounds  of  his 
expulsion. 

April  20,  1718- -Feb.  1741. 

DAVID  BRAINERD  was  born  April  20,  1718,  at  Had- 
dam,  Connecticut.  His  father  was  Hezekiah  Brainerd, 
Esq.  and  his  mother,  Dorothy  Hobart,  daughter  of  the 
Rev.  Jeremiah  Hobart. 

He  was  the  third  son  of  his  parents,  who  had  five 
sons  and  four  daughters.  The  oldest  son  was  a  respecta- 
ble citizen  of  Haddam ;  the  second  was  Rev.  Nehemiah 
Brainerd,  a  worthy  minister  in  Eastbury,  in  Connecti- 
cut; the  fourth,  Mr.  John  Brainerd,  who  succeeded  his 
brother  David  as  missionary  to  the  Indians,  and  pastor 
of  the  same  church  of  Christian  Indians  in  New-Jer- 
sey; and  the  fifth  was  Israel,  lately  student  at  Yale- 
College,  who  died  soon  after  his  brother  David.  Their 
mother,  having  lived  about  five  years  a  widow,  died 
when  the  subject  of  this  memoir  was  about  fourteen 


10  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [  Chap.  I 

years  of  age;  so  that  in  his  youth  he  was  left  both 
fatherless  and  motherless.  The  following  is  the  ac- 
count he  has  himself  given  of  the  first  twenty-three 
years  of  his  life. 

"  I  was  from  my  youth  somewhat  sober,  and  inclined 
to  melancholy  ;  but  do  not  remember  any  thing  of  con- 
viction of  sin,  worthy  of  remark,  till  I  was,  I  believe, 
about  seven  or  eight  years  of  age.  Then  I  became 
concerned  for  my  soul,  and  terrified  at  the  thoughts  of 
death ;  and  was  driven  to  the  performance  of  religious 
duties :  but  it  appeared  a  melancholy  business  that  de- 
stroyed my  eagerness  for  play.  And  though,  alas !  this 
religious  concern  was  but  short-lived,  I  sometimes  at- 
tended secret  prayer;  and  thus  lived  "without  God  in 
the  world,"  and  without  much  concern,  as  I  remember, 
till  I  was  above  thirteen  years  of  age.  In  the  winter 
of  1732  I  was  roused  out  of  this  carnal  security  by,  I 
scarce  know  what  means  at  first ;  but  was  much  ex- 
cited by  the  prevalence  of  a  mortal  sickness  in  Had- 
dam.  I  was  frequent,  constant,  and  somewhat  fervent 
in  prayer;  and  took  delight  in  reading,  especially  Mr. 
JAKEWAY'S  Token  for  Children.  I  felt  sometimes  much 
melted  in  the  duties  of  religion,  took  great  delight  in 
the  performance  of  them,  and  sometimes  hoped  that  I 
was  converted,  or  at  least  in  a  good  and  hopeful  way 
for  heaven  and  happiness ;  not  knowing  what  conver- 
sion was.  The  Spirit  of  God  at  this  time  proceeded 
far  with  me.  I  was  remarkably  dead  to  the  world  ;  my 
thoughts  were  almost  wholly  employed  about  my  soul's 
concerns;  and  I  may  indeed  say,  "Almost  I  was  per- 
suaded to  be  a  Christian."  I  was  also  exceedingly  dis- 
tressed and  melancholy  at  the  death  of  my  mother,  in 
March,  1732.  But  afterward  my  religious  concern 
began  to  decline,  and  by  degrees  I  fell  back  into  a  con 


17i*8.  |  HIS   CONVICTION   AND   CONVERSION.  11 

siderable  degree  of  security,  though  I  still  attended 
secret  prayer. 

"  About  the  15th  of  April,  1733, 1  removed  from  rny 
father's  house  to  East-Haddam,  where  I  spent  four 
years;  but  still  "without  God  in  the  world,"  though, 
for  the  most  part,  I  went  a  round  of  secret  duty.  I 
was  not  much  addicted  to  the  company  and  the  amuse- 
ments of  the  young  ;  but  this  I  know,  that  when  I  did 
go  into  such  company  I  never  returned  with  so  good 
a  conscience  as  when  I  went,  It  always  added  new 
guilt,  made  me  afraid  to  come  to  the  throne  of  grace, 
and  spoiled  those  good  frames  with  which  I  was  wont 
sometimes  to  please  myself.  But,  alas!  all  my  good 
frames  were  but  self-righteousness,  not  founded  on  a 
desire  for  the  glory  of  God. 

'•About  the  end  of  April,  1737,  being  full  nine- 
teen years  of  age,  I  removed  to  Durham,  to  work  on 
my  farm,  and  continued  about  one  year;  frequently 
longing  after  a  liberal  education.  When  about  twenty 
years  of  age  I  applied  myself  to  study;  and  was  now 
engaged  more  than  ever  in  the  duties  of  religion.  I 
became  very  strict,  and  watchful  over  my  thoughts, 
words,  and  actions;  concluded  that  I  must  be  sober 
indeed,  because  I  designed  to  devote  myself  to  the 
ministry ;  and  imagined  that  I  did  dedicate  myself  to 
the  Lord. 

"  Sometime  in  April,  1738, 1  went  to  live  with  Rev. 
Mr.  Fiske,  of  Haddam,  and  continued  with  him  during 
his  life.  I  remember  he  advised  me  wholly  to  abandon 
young  company,  and  associate  myself  with  grave  el- 
derly people ;  which  counsel  I  followed.  My  manner 
of  life  was  now  wholly  regular,  and  full  of  religion, 
such  as  it  was ;  for  I  read  my  bible  more  than  twice 
through  in  less  than  a  year,  spent  much  time  every  day 


12  LIFE   OP   BKAINERD.  [Chap.  I. 

in  prayer  and  other  secret  duties,  gave  great  attention 
to  the  word  preached,  and  endeavored  to  my  utmost  to 
retain  it.  So  much  concerned  was  I  about  religion, 
that  I  agreed  with  some  young  persons  to  meet  pri- 
vately on  Sabbath  evenings  for  religious  exercises,  and 
thought  myself  sincere  in  these  duties;  and  after  our 
meeting  was  ended  I  used  to  repeat  the  discourses 
of  the  day  to  myself;  recollecting  what  I  could,  though 
sometimes  very  late  at  night.  I  used  occasionally  on 
Monday  mornings  to  recollect  the  same  sermons  ;  had 
sometimes  pleasure  in  religious  exercises,  and  had 
many  thoughts  of  joining  the  church.  In  short,  I  had 
a  very  good  outside,  and  rested  entirely  on  my  duties, 
though  I  was  not  sensible  of  it. 

"  After  Mr.  Fiske's  death  I  proceeded  in  my  studies 
with  my  brother;  was  still  very  constant  in  religious 
duties,  often  wondered  at  the  levity  of  professors,  and 
lamented  their  carelessness  in  religion. — Thus  I  pro- 
ceeded a  considerable  length  on  a  self-righteous  foun- 
dation ;  and  should  have  been  entirely  lost  and  undone 
had  not  the  mere  mercy  of  God  prevented. 

"Sometime  in  the  beginning  of  winter,  1738,  it 
pleased  God,  one  Sabbath  morning,  as  I  was  walking 
out  for  secret  duties,  to  give  me  on  a  sudden  such  a 
sense  of  my  danger,  and  the  wrath  of  God,  that  I  stood 
amazed,  and  my  former  good  frames  presently  van- 
ished. From  the  view  which  I  had  of  my  sin  and  vile- 
ness,  I  was  much  distressed  all  that  day,  fearing  that 
the  vengeance  of  God  would  soon  overtake  me.  I  was 
much  dejected ;  kept  much  alone ;  and  sometimes  en- 
vied the  birds  and  beasts  their  happiness,  because  they 
were  not  exposed  to  eternal  misery,  as  I  evidently  saw 
that  I  was.  Thus  I  lived  from  day  to  day,  being  fre- 
quently in  great  distress :  sometimes  there  appeared 


1739.J  HIS  CONVICTION   AND  CONVERSION.  13 

mountains  before  me  to  obstruct  my  hopes  of  mercy ; 
and  the  work  of  conversion  appeared  so  great,  that  1 
thought  I  should  never  be  the  subject  of  it.  I  used, 
however,  to  pray  and  cry  to  God,  and  perform  other 
duties  with  great  earnestness ;  and  thus  hoped  by  some 
means  to  make  the  case  better. 

"Hundreds  of  times  I  renounced  all  pretences  of 
any  worth  in  my  duties,  as  I  thought,  even  while  per- 
forming them;  and  often  confessed  to  God  that  I  de- 
served nothing  for  the  very  best  of  them,  but  eternal 
condemnation ;  yet  still  I  had  a  secret  hope  of  recom- 
mending- myself  to  God  by  my  religious  duties.  When 
I  prayed  affectionately,  and  my  heart  seemed  in  some 
measure  to  melt,  I  hoped  that  God  would  be  thereby 
moved  to  pity  me.  There  was,  then,  some  appearance 
of  goodness  in  my  prayers,  and  I  seemed  to  mourn  for 
sin.  I  could  in  some  measure  venture  on  the  mercy  of 
God  in  Christ,  as  I  thought ;  though  the  preponderat- 
ing thought,  the  foundation  of  my  hope  was  some 
imagination  of  goodness  in  my  meltings  of  heart,  the 
warmth  of  my  affections,  and  my  extraordinary  en- 
largements in  prayer.  Though  at  times  the  gate  ap- 
peared so  very  strait  that  it  looked  next  to  impossible 
to  enter ;  yet,  at  other  times  I  flattered  myself  that  it 
was  not  so  very  difficult,  and  hoped  I  should  by  dili- 
gence and  watchfulness  soon  gain  the  point.  Some- 
times after  enlargement  in  duty  and  considerable  affec- 
tion, I  hoped  I  had  made  a  good  step  toward  heaven, 
and  imagined  that  God  was  affected  as  I  was,  and 
would  hear  such  sincere  cries,  as  I  called  them.  And 
so  sometimes,  when  I  withdrew  for  secret  prayer  in 
great  distress,  I  returned  comfortable ;  and  thus  healed 
myself  with  my  duties. 

"In  February,  1739, 1  set  apart  a  day  for  secret  fast- 


14  LIFE   OF   BRAINEHD.  [Chap.   1. 

ing  and  prayer,  and  spent  the  day  in  almost  incessant 
cries  to  God  for  mercy,  that  he  would  open  my  eyes  to 
see  the  evil  of  sin,  and  the  way  of  life  by  Jesus  Christ. 
God  was  pleased  that  day  to  make  considerable  dis- 
coveries of  my  heart  to  me.  Still  I  trusted  in  all  the 
duties  I  performed,  though  there  was  no  manner  of 
goodness  in  them ;  there  being  in  them  no  respect  to 
the  glory  of  God,  nor  any  such  principle  in  my  heart. 
Yet  God  was  pleased  to  make  my  endeavors,  that  day, 
a  means  to  show  me  my  helplessness  in  some  measure. 
"  Sometimes  I  was  greatly  encouraged,  and  imagined 
that  God  loved  me  and  was  pleased  with  me,  and  thought 
I  should  soon  be  fully  reconciled  to  God.  But  the  whole 
was  founded  on  mere  presumption,  arising  from  en- 
largement in  duty,  or  warmth  of  affections,  or  some  good 
resolutions,  or  the  like.  And  when,  at  times,  great  dis- 
tress began  to  arise  on  a  sight  of  my  vileness  and  ina- 
bility to  deliver  myself  from  a  sovereign  God,  I  used 
to  put  off  the  discovery,  as  what  I  could  not  bear. 
Once,  I  remember,  a  terrible  pang  of  distress  seized 
me  ;  and  the  thought  of  renouncing  myself,  and  stand- 
ing naked  before  God,  stripped  of  all  goodness,  was  so 
dreadful  to  me  that  I  was  ready  to  say  to  it,  as  Felix  to 
Paul,  "  Go  thy  way  for  this  time."  Thus,  though  I  daily 
longed  for  greater  conviction  of  sin;  supposing  that  I 
must  see  more  of  my  dreadful  state  in  order  to  a  reme- 
dy ;  yet,  when  the  discoveries  of  my  vile,  wicked  heart 
were  made  tome,  the  sight  was  so  dreadful,  and  showed 
me  so  plainly  my  exposedness  to  damnation,  that  I 
could  not  endure  it.  I  constantly  strove  after  whatever 
qualifications  I  imagined  others  obtained  before  the  re- 
ception of  Christ,  in  order  to  recommend,  me  to  his 
favor.  Sometimes  I  felt  the  power  of  a  hard  heart, 
and  supposed  it  must  be  softened  before  Christ  would 


1739.]  HIS  CONVICTION   AND   CONVERSION.  15 

accept  of  me ;  and  when  I  felt  any  meltings  of  heart, 
I  hoped  now  the  work  was  almost  done.  Hence,  when 
my  distress  still  remained  I  was  wont  to  murmur  at 
God's  dealings  with  me;  and  thought,  when  others  felt 
their  hearts  softened,  God  showed  them  mercy;  but 
my  distress  remained  still. 

"At  times  I  grew  remiss  and  sluggish,  without  any 
great  convictions  of  sin,  for  a  considerable  time  to- 
gether; but  after  such  a  season  convictions  sometimes 
seized  me  more  violently.  One  night  I  remember  in 
particular,  when  I  was  walking  solitarily  abroad,  I  had 
opened  to  me  such  a  view  of  my  sin  that  I  feared  the 
ground  would  cleave  asunder  under  my  feet,  and  be- 
come my  grave ;  and  send  my  soul  quick  into  hell,  be- 
fore I  could  get  home.  Though  I  was  forced  to  go  to 
bed,  lest  my  distress  should  be  discovered  by  others, 
which  I  much  feared  ;  yet  I  scarcely  durst  sleep  at  all, 
for  I  thought  it  would  be  a  great  wonder  if  I  should  be 
out  of  hell  in  the  morning.  And  though  my  distress 
was  sometimes  thus  great,  yet  I  greatly  dreaded  the 
loss  of  convictions,  and  returning  back  to  a  state  of  car- 
lal  security,  and  to  my  former  insensibility  of  impend- 
ng  wrath ;  which  made  me  exceedingly  exact  in  my 
Dehaviour,  lest  I  should  stifle  the  motions  of  God's 
Holy  Spirit.  When  at  any  time  I  took  a  view  of  my 
convictions,  and  thought  the  degree  of  them  to  be  con- 
siderable, I  was  wont  to  trust  in  them ;  but  this  confi- 
dence, and  the  hope  of  soon  making  some  notable  ad- 
vances toward  deliverance,  would  ease  my  mind,  and  I 
soon  became  more  senseless  and  remiss.  Again,  when 
I  discerned  my  convictions  to  grow  languid,  and 
thought  them  about  to  leave  me,  this  immediately 
alarmed  and  distressed  me.  Sometimes  I  expected  to 
take  a  large  step,  and  get  very  far  toward  conversion, 


16  LIFE    OF   BHAINERD.  [Chap.  1 

by  some  particular  opportunity  or  means  I  had  in  view 
"  The  many  disappointments,  the  great  distress  and 
perplexity  which  I  experienced,  put  me  into  a  most 
horrible  frame  of  contesting  with  the  almighty;  with 
inward  vehemence  and  virulence  finding  fault  with  his 
ways  of  dealing  with  mankind.  My  wicked  heart 
often  wished  for  some  other  way  of  salvation  than  by 
Jesus  Christ.  Being  like  the  troubled  sea,  my  thoughts 
confused,  I  used  to  contrive  to  escape  the  wrath  ot 
God  by  some  other  means.  I  had  strange  projects, 
full  of  Atheism,  contriving  to  disappoint  God's  de- 
signs and  decrees  concerning  me,  or  to  escape  his  no- 
tice and  hide  myself  from  him.  But  when  upon  re- 
flection I  saw  these  projects  were  vain,  and  would  not 
serve  me,  and  that  I  could  contrive  nothing  for  my 
own  relief,  this  would  throw  my  mind  into  the  most 
horrid  frame,  to  wish  there  was  no  God,  or  to  wish 
there  was  some  other  God  that  could  control  him. 
These  thoughts  and  desires  were  the  secret  inclina- 
tions of  my  heart,  frequently  acting  before  I  was 
aware;  but,  alas!  they  were  mine,  althrugh  I  was 
frightened  when  I  came  to  reflect  on  them.  When  I 
considered,  it  distressed  me  to  think  that  my  heart 
was  so  full  of  enmity  against  God ;  and  it  made  me 
tremble,  lest  his  vengeance  should  suddenly  fall  upon 
me.  I  used  before  to  imagine  that  my  heart  was  not 
so  bad  as  the  Scriptures  and  some  other  books  repre- 
sented it.  Sometimes  I  used  to  take  much  pains  to 
work  it  up  into  a  good  frame,  a  humble  submissive  dis- 
position ;  and  hoped  there  was  then  some  goodness  in 
me.  But,  on  a  sudden,  the  thoughts  of  the  strictness 
of  the  law,  or  the  sovereignty  of  God,  would  so  irri- 
tate the  corruption  of  my  heart  that  I  had  so  watched 
over  and  hoped  I  had  brought  to  a  good  frame,  that  it 


1739. J  HIS   CONVICTION    AND   CONVEBS1ON.  1? 

would  break  over  all  bounds,  and  burst  forth  on  all 
sides,  like  floods  of  waters  when  they  break  down 
their  dam. 

"  Being  sensible  of  the  necessity  of  deep  humiliation 
in  order  to  a  saving  close  with  Christ,  I  used  to  set  my- 
self to  produce  in  my  own  heart  the  convictions  requi- 
site in  such  a  humiliation :  as,  a  conviction  that  God 
would  be  just,  if  he  cast  me  off  for  ever;  that  if  ever 
God  should  bestow  mercy  on  me,  it  would  be  mere 
grace,  though  I  should  be  in  distress  many  years  first, 
and  be  never  so  much  engaged  in  duty ;  and  that  God 
was  not  in  the  least  obliged  to  pity  me  the  more  for  all 
past  duties,  cries,  and  tears.  I  strove  to  my  utmost  to 
bring  myself  to  a  firm  belief  of  these  things  and  a 
hearty  assent  to  them  ;  and  hoped  that  now  I  was 
brought  off  from  myself,  truly  humbled,  and  that  I 
bowed  to  the  divine  sovereignty.  I  was  wont  to  tell  God 
in  my  prayers,  that  now  I  had  those  very  dispositions 
of  soul  which  he  required,  and  on  which  he  showed 
mercy  to  others,  and  thereupon  to  beg  and  plead  for 
mercy  to  me.  But  when  I  found  no  relief,  and  was 
still  oppressed  with  guilt  and  fears  of  wrath,  my  soul 
was  in  a  tumult,  and  my  heart  rose  against  God,  as  deal- 
ing hardly  with  me.  Yet  then  my  conscience  flew  in 
my  face,  putting  me  in  mind  of  my  late  confession  to 
God  of  his  justice  in  my  condemnation.  This,  giving 
me  a  sight  of  the  badness  of  my  heart,  threw  me  again 
into  distress;  and  I  wished  that  I  had  watched  my 
heart  more  narrowly,  to  keep  it  from  breaking  out 
against  God's  dealings  with  me.  I  even  wished  that 
f  had  not  pleaded  for  mercy  on  account  of  my  humi- 
liation; because  thereby  I  had  lost  all  my  seeming 
goodness.  Thus,  scores  of  times  I  vainly  imagined 
myspl  f  humbled  and  prepared  for  saving  mercy.  While 

Brainerd. 


18  LIFE    OP   BRA.TUERD.  [Chap.  I 

I  was  in  this  distressed,  bewildered,  and  tumultuous 
state  of  mind,  the  corruption  of  my  heart  was  especial- 
ly irritated  with  the  following  things. 

1.  "  The  strictness  of  the  divine  law.  For  I  found 
it  was  impossible  for  me,  after  my  utmost  pains,  to  an- 
swer its  demands.  I  often  made  new  resolutions,  and 
as  often  broke  them.  I  imputed  the  whole  to  careless- 
ness, and  the  want  of  being  more  watchful,  and  used 
to  call  myself  a  fool  for  my  negligence.  But  when, 
upon  a  stronger  resolution,  and  greater  endeavors,  and 
close  application  to  fasting  and  prayer,  I  found  all  at- 
tempts fail ;  then  I  quarrelled  with  the  law  of  God,  as 
unreasonably  rigid.  I  thought,  if  it  extended  only  to 
my  out-ward  actions  and  behavior,  that  I  could  bear 
with  it;  but  I  found  that  it  condemned  me  for  my  evil 
thoughts,  and  sins  of  my  heart,  which  I  could  not  pos- 
sibly prevent.  I  was  extremely  loth  to  own  my  utter 
helplessness  in  this  matter:  but  after  repeated  disap- 
pointments, thought  that  rather  than  perish  I  could  do 
a  little  more  still ;  especially  if  such  and  such  circum- 
stances might  but  attend  my  endeavors  and  strivings. 
I  hoped  that  I  should  strive  more  earnestly  than  ever, 
if  the  matter  came  to  extremity,  though  I  never  could 
find  the  time  to  do  my  utmost  in  the  manner  I  intend- 
ed. This  hope  of  future  more  favorable  circumstances, 
and  of  doing  something  great  hereafter,  kept  me  from 
utter  despair  in  myself,  and  from  seeing  myself  fallen 
into  the  hands  of  a  sovereign  God,  and  dependent  on 
nothing  but  free  and  boundless  grace. 

JJ."Another  point  that  irritated  me  was,  that  faith 
alone  was  the  condition  of  salvation;  that  God  would 
not  come  down  to  lower  terms ;  and  that  he  would  nol 
promise  life  and  salvation  upon  mv  sincere  and  hearty 


1739.]  HIS   CONVICTION    AND   CONVERSION.  J9 

prayers  and  endeavors.  That  word,  Mark  16 : 16,  "  He 
that  believeth  not  shall  be  damned,"  cut  off  all  hope 
there.  I  found  that  faith  was  the  sovereign  gift  of  God ; 
that  I  could  not  get  it  as  of  myself;  and  could  not  oblige 
God  to  bestow  it  upon  me  by  any  of  my  performances 
Eph.  2  :  1,  8.  "  This,"  I  was  ready  to  say,  "is  a 
hard  saying,  who  can  hear  it  ?  "  I  could  not  bear  that 
all  I  had  done  should  stand  for  mere  nothing ;  as 
I  had  been  very  conscientious  in  duty,  had  been  very 
religious  a  great  while,  and  had,  as  I  thought,  done 
much  more  than  many  others  who  had  obtained  mer- 
cy. I  confessed  indeed  the  vileness  of  my  duties ;  but 
then  what  made  them  at  that  time  seem  vile,  was  my 
wandering  thoughts  in  them,  rather  than  because  I  was 
all  over  defiled  like  a  devil,  and  the  principle  corrupt 
from  whence  they  flowed,  so  that  I  could  not  possibly 
do  any  thing  that  was  good.  Hence  I  called  what  I  did 
by  the  name  of  honest  faithful  endeavors  ;  and  could  not 
bear  it,  that  God  had  made  no  promises  of  salvation 
to  them. 

3." I  could  not  find  out  what  faith  was;  or  what  it 
was  to  believe  and  come  to  Christ.  I  read  the  calls  of 
Christ  to  the  weary  and  heavy  laden;  but  could  find  no 
way  in  which  he  directed  them  to  come.  I  thought  I 
would  gladly  come,  if  I  knew  how;  though  the  path 
of  duty  were  never  so  difficult.  I  read  Stoddard's 
Guide  to  Christ,  (which  I  trust  was,  in  the  hand  of  God, 
the  happy  means  of  my  conversion,)  and  my  heart  rose 
against  the  author ;  for  though  he  told  me  my  very 
heart  all  along  under  convictions,  and  seemed  to  be 
very  beneficial  to  me  in  his  directions;  yet  here  he 
seemed  to  me  to  fail :  he  did  not  tell  me  any  thing  I 
couid  do  that  would  bring  me  to  Christ,  but  left  me  as 
it  were  with  a  great  gulph  between  me  and  Christ,  with- 
out any  ^irfctio!!  !::»•*,•  r/>  <?(>t  through.  For  !  was  uul 


20  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  1 

yet  effectually  and  experimentally  taught,  that  there 
could  be  no  way  prescribed,  whereby  a  natural  man 
could,  of  his  own  strength,  obtain  that  which  is  super- 
natural, and  which  the  highest  angel  cannot  give. 

4.  "  Another  point  was  the  sovereignty  of  God.  I 
could  not  bear  that  it  should  be  wholly  at  God's  plea- 
sure, to  save  or  damn  me,  just  as  he  would.  That  pas- 
sage, Rom.  9  :  1 1-23,  was  a  constant  vexation  to  me, 
especially  verse  21.  Reading  or  meditating  on  this,  al- 
ways destroyed  my  seeming  good  frames;  for  when  I 
thought  I  was  almost  humbled,  and  almost  resigned, 
this  passage  would  make  my  enmity  against  God  ap- 
pear. When  I  came  to  reflect  on  the  inward  enmity 
and  blasphemy  which  arose  on  this  occasion,  I  was 
the  more  afraid  of  God,  and  driven  further  from  any 
hopes  of  reconciliation  with  him.  It  gave  me  a  dread- 
ful view  of  myself;  I  dreaded  more  than  ever  to  see 
myself  in  God's  hands,  and  it  made  me  more  opposite 
than  ever  to  submit  to  his  sovereignty ;  for  I  thought 
He  designed  my  damnation. 

"  All  this  time  the  Spirt  of  God  was  powerfully  at 
work  with  me ;  and  I  was  inwardly  pressed  to  relin- 
quish all  self-confidence,  all  hope  of  ever  helping  my- 
self by  any  means  whatsoever.  The  conviction  of  my 
lost  estate  was  sometimes  so  clear  and  manifest  before 
my  eyes  that  it  was  as  if  it  had  been  declared  to  me  in 
so  many  words,  "  It  is  done,  it  is  done,  it  is  for  ever 
impossible  to  deliver  yourself."  For  about  three  or 
four  days  my  soul  was  thus  greatly  distressed.  At 
some  turns,  for  a  few  moments,  I  seemed  to  myself 
lost  and  undone;  but  then  would  shrink  back  imme- 
diately from  the  sight,  because  I  dared  not  venture  my- 
self into  the  hands  of  God,  as  wholly  helpless,  and  at 


1739.]  HIS  CONVICTION   AND   CONVERSION.  21 

the  disposal  of  his  sovereign  pleasure.  I  dared  not 
see  that  important  truth  concerning  myself,  that  I  was 
"  dead  in  trespasses  and  sins."  But  when  I  had,  as  it 
were,  thrust  away  these  views  of  myself  at  any  time, 
1  felt  distressed  to  have  the  same  discoveries  of  myself 
again  ;  for  I  greatly  feared  being  given  over  of  God  to 
final  stupidity.  When  I  thought  of  putting  it  off  to  a 
more  "convenient  season,"  the  conviction  was  so  close 
and  powerful,  that  the  present  time  was  the  best,  and 
probably  the  only  time,  that  I  dared  not  put  it  off. 

"  It  was  the  sight  of  truth  concerning  myself,  truth 
respecting  my  state,  as  a  creature  fallen  and  alienated 
from  God,  and  that  consequently  could  make  no  de- 
mands on  God  for  mercy,  but  was  at  his  absolute  dis- 
posal, from  which  my  soul  shrank  away,  and  which  I 
trembled  to  think  of  beholding.  Thus,  he  that  doeth 
evil,  as  all  unregenerate  men  continually  do,  hates  the 
light  of  truth,  neither  cares  to  come  to  it,  because  it 
will  reprove  his  deeds,  and  show  him  his  just  deserts. 
John,  3  :  20.  Sometime  before,  I  had  taken  much 
pains,  as  I  thought,  to  submit  to  the  sovereignty  of 
God ;  yet  I  mistook  the  thing,  and  did  not  once  ima- 
gine, that  seeing  and  being  made  experimentally  sen- 
sible of  this  truth,  which  my  soul  now  so  much  dreaded 
and  trembled  at,  was  the  frame  of  soul  which  I  had  so 
earnestly  desired.  I  had  ever  hoped  that  when  I  had 
attained  to  that  humiliation  which  I  supposed  neces- 
sary to  precede  faith,  then  it  would  not  be  fair  for  God 
to  cast  me  off ;  but  now  I  saw  it  was  so  far  from  any 
goodness  in  me,  to  own  myself  spiritually  dead  and 
destitute  of  all  goodness,  that  on  the  contrary,  my 
mouth  would  be  for  ever  stopped  by  it ;  and  it  looked 
as  dreadful  to  me,  to  see  myself,  and  the  relation  I 
stood  in  to  God — I  a  sinner  and  criminal,  and  he  a 


22  LIFE    OF   BHA1NERD.  [Chap.  I. 

great  Judge  and  Sovereign — as  it  would  be  to  a  poor 
trembling  creature  to  venture  off  some  high  precipice. 
Hence  I  put  it  off  for  a  minute  or  two,  and  tried  for 
better  circumstances  to  do  it  in  :  either  I  must  read  a 
passage  or  two,  or  pray  first,  or  something  of  the  like 
nature  ;  or  else  put  off  my  submission  to  God  with  an 
objection,  that  I  did  not  know  how  to  submit.  But  the 
truth  was,  I  could  see  no  safety  in  owning  myself  in 
the  hands  of  a  sovereign  God,  and  could  lay  no  claim 
to  any  thing  better  than  damnation. 

"  After  a  considerable  time  spent  in  similar  exercises 
and  distress,  one  morning,  while  I  was  walking  in  a 
solitary  place,  as  usual,  I  at  once  saw  that  all  my  con- 
trivances and  projects  to  effect  or  procure  deliverance 
and  salvation  for  myself  were  utterly  in  vain  ;  I  was 
brought  quite  to  a  stand,  as  finding  myself  totally  lost. 
I  had  thought  many  times  before,  that  the  difficulties 
in  my  way  were  very  great ;  but  now  I  saw,  in  another 
and  very  different  light,  that  it  was  for  ever  impossible 
for  me  to  do  any  thing  toward  helping  or  delivering 
myself.  I  then  thought  of  blaming  myself,  that  I  had 
not  done  more,  and  been  more  engaged,  while  I  had 
opportunity — for  it  seemed  now  as  if  the  season  of 
doing  was  for  ever  over  and  gone — but  I  instantly  saw, 
that  let  me  have  done  what  I  would,  it  would  no  more 
have  tended  to  my  helping  myself,  than  what  I  had 
done  ;  that  I  had  made  all  the  pleas  I  ever  could  have 
made  to  all  eternity ;  and  that  all  my  pleas  were  vain. 
The  tumult  that  had  been  before  in  my  mind  was  now 
quieted ;  and  I  was  somewhat  eased  of  that  distress 
which  I  felt  while  struggling  against  a  sight  of  myself, 
and  of  the  divine  sovereignty.  I  had  the  greatest  CCN 
tainty  that  my  state  was  for  ever  miserable,  for  all  that 
I  could  do ;  and  wondered  that  I  had  never  been  sen- 
sible of  it  before. 


1739.J  HIS   CONVICTION    AND   CONVERSION.  23 

"  While  I  remained  in  this  state  my  notions  respect- 
ing my  duties  were  quite  different  from  what  I  had 
ever  entertained  in  times  past.  Before  this,  the  more 
I  did  in  duty,  the  more  hard  I  thought  it  would  be  for 
God  to  cast  me  off;  though  at  the  same  time  I  con- 
fessed, and  thought  I  saw,  that  there  was  no  goodness 
or  merit  in  my  duties ;  but  now,  the  more  I  did  in 
prayer  or  any  other  duty,  the  more  I  saw  that  I  was 
indebted  to  God  for  allowing  me  to  ask  for  mercy  ;  for 
I  saw  that  self  interest  had  led  me  to  pray,  and  that  I 
had  never  once  prayed  from  any  respect  to  the  glory 
of  God.  Now  I  saw  that  there  was  no  necessary  con- 
nection between  my  prayers  and  the  bestowment  of 
divine  mercy ;  that  they  laid  not  the  least  obligation  upon 
God  to  bestow  his  grace  upon  me ;  and  that  there  was  no 
more  virtue  or  goodness  in  them  than  there  would  be 
in  rny  paddling  with  my  hand  in  the  water,  (which  was 
the  comparison  I  had  then  in  my  mind  ;)  and  this  be- 
cause they  were  not  performed  from  any  love  or  re- 
gard to  God.  I  saw  that  I  had  been  heaping  up  my 
devotions  before  God,  fasting,  praying,  &c.  pretend- 
ing, and  indeed  really  thinking  sometimes,  that  I  was 
aiming  at  the  glory  of  God ;  whereas  I  never  once 
truly  intended  it,  but  only  my  own  happiness.  I  saw 
that  as  I  had  never  done  any  thing  for  God,  I  had  no 
claim  on  any  thing  from  him,  but  perdition,  on  ac- 
count of  my  hypocrisy  and  mockery.  Oh,  how  dif- 
ferent did  my  duties  now  appear  from  what  they  used 
to  do  !  I  used  to  charge  them  with  sin  and  imperfec- 
tion ;  but  this  was  only  on  account  of  the  wandering 
and  vain  thoughts  attending  them,  and  not  because  I 
had  no  regard  to  God  in  them  ;  for  this  I  thought  I  had. 
But  when  I  saw  evidently  that  I  had  had  regard  to 
nothing  but  self-interest ;  then  they  appeared  a  vile 


24  LIKE    OF    BRA1NEKI).  |  Chap.  1 

mockery  of  God,  self-worship,  and  a  continued  course 
of  lies.  I  saw  that  something  worse  had  attended  my 
duties  than  barely  a  few  wanderings ;  for  the  whole 
was  nothing  but  self-worship,  and  an  horrid  abuse 
of  God. 

"  I  continued,  as  I  remember,  in  this  state  of  mind 
from  Friday  morning  till  the  Sabbath  evening  follow- 
ing, (July  12,  1739,)  when  I  was  walking  again  in  the 
same  solitary  place  where  I  was  brought  to  see  mysel 
lost  and  helpless,  as  before  mentioned.  Here,  in  a 
mournful  melancholy  state,  I  was  attempting  to  pray ; 
but  found  no  heart  to  engage  in  prayer  or  any 
other  duty.  My  former  concern,,  exercise,  and  re 
ligious  affections  were  now  gone.  I  thought  that  the 
Spirit  of  God  had  quite  left  me ;  but  still  was  not  dis- 
tressed ;  yet  disconsolate,  as  if  there  was  nothing  in 
heaven  or  earth  could  make  me  happy.  Having  been 
thus  endeavoring  to  pray — though,  as  I  thought,  very 
stupid  and  senseless — for  near  half  an  hour ;  then,  as  I 
was  walking  in  a  dark  thick  grove,  unspeakable  glory 
seemed  to  open  to  the  view  and  apprehension  of  my 
soul.  I  do  not  mean  any  external  brightness,  for  I 
saw  no  such  thing ;  nor  do  I  intend  any  imagination  of 
a  body  of  light,  somewhere  in  the  third  heavens,  or 
any  thing  of  that  nature ;  but  it  was  a  new  inward  ap- 
prehension or  view  that  I  had  of  God,  such  as  I  never 
had  before,  nor  any  thing  which  had  the  least  resem- 
blance of  it.  I  stood  still,  wondered,  and  admired !  I 
knew  that  I  never  had  seen  before  any  thing  compara 
ble  to  it  for  excellency  and  beauty ;  it  was  widely  dif 
ferent  from  all  the  conceptions  that  ever  I  had  of  God, 
or  things  divine.  I  had  no  particular  apprehension  of 
any  one  person  in  the  Trinity,  either  the  Father,  the 
Son,  or  the  Holy  Ghost ;  but  it  appeared  to  be  Divine 


1739.  |  HIS   CONVICTION    AND    CONVERSION.  25 

glory  that  I  then  beheld.  My  soul  rejoiced  with  joy 
unspeakable,  to  see  such  a  God,  such  a  glorious  divine 
Being ;  and  I  was  inwardly  pleased  and  satisfied, 
that  he  should  be  God  over  all  for  ever  and  ever.  My 
soul  was  so  captivated  and  delighted  with  the  excel- 
lency, loveliness,  greatness,  and  other  perfections  of 
God,  that  I  was  even  swallowed  up  in  him ;  at  least  to 
that  degree  that  I  had  no  thought,  as  I  remember,  at 
first,  about  my  own  salvation,  and  scarce  reflected  that 
there  was  such  a  creature  as  myself. 

"  Thus  God,  I  trust,  brought  me  to  a  hearty  disposi- 
tion to  exalt  him,  and  set  him  on  the  throne,  and  prin- 
cipally and  ultimately  to  aim  at  his  honor  and  glory, 
as  King  of  the  universe.  I  continued  in  this  state  of 
inward  joy,  peace  and  astonishment,  till  near  dark, 
without  any  sensible  abatement;  and  then  began  to 
think  and  examine  what  I  had  seen ;  and  felt  sweetly 
composed  in  my  mind  all  the  evening  following.  I 
felt  myself  in  a  new  world,  and  every  thing  about  me 
appeared  with  a  different  aspect  from  what  it  was 
wont  to  do. 

"At  this  time  the  way  of  salvation  opened  to  me 
with  such  infinite  wisdom,  suitableness,  and  excellency, 
that  I  wondered  I  should  ever  think  of  any  other  way 
of  salvation ;  I  was  amazed  that  I  had  not  dropped  my 
own  contrivances  and  complied  with  this  lovely,  blessed, 
and  excellent  way  before.  If  I  could  have  been  saved 
by  my  own  duties,  or  any  other  way  that  I  had  for- 
merly contrived,  my  whole  soul  would  now  have  re- 
fused. I  wondered  that  all  the  world  did  not  see  and 
comply  with  this  way  of  salvation,  entirely  by  the 
righteousness  of  Christ. 

"The  sweet  relish  of  what  I  then  felt  continued  with 
me  for  several  days,  almost  constantly,  in  a  greater  or 


26  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap    I. 

less  degree.  I  could  not  but  sweetly  rejoice  in  God, 
lying  down  and  rising  up.  The  next  Lord's  day  I  felt 
something  of  the  same  kind,  though  not  so  powerful 
as  before.  But  not  long  after,  I  was  again  involved  in 
darkness,  and  in  great  distress ;  yet  not  of  the  same  kind 
with  my  distress  under  convictions.  I  was  guilty, 
afraid,  and  ashamed  to  come  before  God ;  and  exceed- 
ingly pressed  with  a  sense  of  guilt;  but  it  was  not  long 
before  I  felt,  I  trust,  true  repentance  and  joy  in  God. 

"  In  the  beginning  of  September  I  went  to  Yale  Col- 
lege, and  entered  there ;  but  with  some  degree  of  re- 
luctance, lest  I  should  not  be  able  to  lead  a  life  of  strict 
religion  in  the  midst  of  so  many  temptations.  After 
this,  in  the  vacation,  before  I  went  to  tarry  at  college, 
it  pleased  God  to  visit  my  soul  with  clearer  manifesta- 
tions of  himself  and  his  grace.  I  was  spending  some 
time  in  prayer  and  self-examination,  when  the  Lord, 
by  his  grace,  so  shined  into  my  heart,  that  I  enjoyed 
full  assurance  of  his  favor,  for  that  time;  and  my  soul 
was  unspeakably  refreshed  with  divine  and  heavenly 
enjoyments.  At  this  time  especially,  as  well  as  some 
others,  sundry  passages  of  God's  word  opened  to  my 
soul  with  divine  clearness,  power,  and  sweetness,  so 
as  to  appear  exceeding  precious,  and  with  clear  and 
certain  evidence  of  its  being  the  word  of  God.  I  en- 
joyed considerable  sweetness  in  religion  all  the  winter 
following. 

"In  Jan.  1740,  the  measles  spread  much  in  college, 
and  I,  having  taken  the  distemper,  went  home  to  Had- 
dam.  But  some  days  before  I  was  taken  sick  I  seem- 
ed to  be  greatly  deserted,  and  my  soul  mourned  the 
absence  of  the  Comforter  exceedingly.  It  seemed  to 
me  that  all  comfort  was  for  ever  gone.  1  prayed  and 
cried  to  God  for  help,  yet  found  no  present  comfort  or 


1740.]  AT   YALE   COLLEGE.  27 

relief.  But  through  divine  goodness,  a  night  or  two 
before  I  was  taken  ill,  while  I  was  walking  alone  in  a 
very  retired  place,  and  engaged  in  meditation  and  prayer, 
I  enjoyed  a  sweet  refreshing  visit,  as  I  trust,  from  above; 
so  that  my  soul  was  raised  far  above  the  fears  of  death. 
Indeed,  I  rather  longed  for  death,  than  feared  it.  Oh, 
how  much  more  refreshing  this  one  season  was,  than 
all  the  pleasures  and  delights  that  earth  can  afford. 
After  a  day  or  two  I  was  taken  with  the  measles,  and 
was  very  ill  indeed,  so  that  I  almost  despaired  of  life; 
but  had  no  distressing  fears  of  death.  Through  divine 
goodness  I  soon  recovered;  yet,  owing  to  hard  study, 
and  to  my  being  much  exposed  to  interruptions  on  ac- 
count of  my  freshmanship,  I  had  but  little  time  for  spi- 
ritual duties,  and  my  soul  often  mourned  for  want  of 
more  time  and  opportunity  to  be  alone  with  God.  In 
the  spring  and  summer  following  I  had  better  advan- 
tages for  retirement,  and  enjoyed  more  comfort  in  re- 
ligion, though  my  ambition  in  my  studies  greatly 
wronged  the  activity  and  vigor  of  my  spiritual  life.  It 
was,  however,  usually  the  case  with  me,  that,  "in  the 
multitude  of  my  thoughts  within  me,  God's  comforts 
principally  delighted  my  soul."  These  were  my  great- 
est consolations  day  by  day. 

"One  day,  I  think  it  was  in  June,  1740, 1  walked  to 
a  considerable  distance  from  college,  in  the  fields  alone, 
at  noon,  and  in  prayer  found  such  unspeakable  sweet- 
ness and  delight  in  God,  that  I  thought,  if  I  must  con- 
tinue in  this  evil  world,  I  wanted  always  to  be  there,  to 
behold  God 's  glory.  My  soul  dearly  loved  all  mankind, 
and  longed  exceedingly  that  they  should  enjoy  what  I 
enjoyed.  It  seemed  to  be  a  little  resemblance  of  heaven. 

"Some  time  in  August  following  I  became  so  re- 
ductd  in  health  by  too  close  application  to  my  studies, 


28  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [  Chap.   I. 

that  I  was  advised  by  my  tutor  to  go  home,  and  disen- 
gage my  mind  from  study  as  much  as  I  could ;  for  I 
was  grown  so  weak  that  I  began  to  raise  blood.  I  took 
his  advice,  and  endeavored  to  lay  aside  my  studies. 
But  being  brought  very  low,  I  looked  death  in  the  face 
more  steadfastly;  and  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  give 
me  renewedly  a  sweet  sense  and  relish  of  divine  things; 
and  particularly  October  13,  I  found  divine  help  and 
consolation  in  the  precious  duties  of  secret  prayer  and 
self-examination,  and  my  soul  took  delight  in  the  bless- 
ed God : — so  likewise  on  the  17th  of  October. 

Oct.  18.  "  In  my  morning  devotions  my  soul  was 
exceedingly  melted,  and  bitterly  mourned  over  my 
great  sinfulness  and  vileness.  I  never  before  had  felt  so 
pungent  and  deep  a  sense  of  the  odious  nature  of  sin, 
as  at  this  time.  My  soul  was  then  unusually  carried 
forth  in  love  to  God,  and  had  a  lively  sense  of  God's 
love  to  me.  And  this  love  and  hope,  at  that  time  case 
out  fear. 

Lord's  day,  Oct.  19.  "  In  the  morning  I  felt  my  soul 
hungering  and  thirsting  after  righteousness.  While  I 
was  looking  on  the  elements  of  the  Lord's  Supper,  and 
thinking  that  Jesus  Christ  was  now  "  set  forth  crucified 
before  me,"  my  soul  was  filled  with  light  and  love,  so 
that  I  was  almost  in  an  ecstacy ;  my  body  was  so  weak 
I  could  scarcely  stand.  I  felt  at  the  same  time  an  ex- 
ceeding tenderness  and  most  fervent  love  toward  all 
mankind ;  so  that  my  soul  and  all  its  powers  seemed, 
as  it  were,  to  melt  into  softness  and  sweetness.  But 
during  the  communion  there  was  some  abatement  ol 
this  life  and  fervor.  This  love  and  joy  cast  out  fear; 
and  my  soul  longed  for  perfect  grace  and  glory.  This 
frame  continued  till  the  evening,  when  my  soul  was 
sweetly  spiritual  in  secret  duties. 


1740.  J  AT   YALE   COLLEGE.  29 

Oct.  20.  "  I  again  found  the  assistance  of  the  Holy 
Spirit  in  secret  duties,  both  morning  and  evening,  and 
life  and  comfort  in  religion  through  the  whole  day. 

Oct.  21.  "  I  had  likewise  experience  of  the  goodness 
of  God  in  '  shedding  abroad  his  love  in  my  heart,'  and 
giving  me  delight  and  consolation  in  religious  duties; 
and  all  the  remaining  part  of  the  week  my  soul  seem- 
ed to  be  taken  up  with  divine  things.  I  now  so  longed 
after  God,  and  to  be  freed  from  sin,  that,  when  I  felt 
myself  recovering,  and  thought  I  must  return  to  college 
again,  which  had  proved  so  hurtful  to  my  spiritual  in- 
terests the  year  past,  I  could  not  but  be  grieved,  and 
thought  I  had  much  rather  die ;  for  it  distressed  me  to 
think  of  getting  away  from  God.  But  before  I  went 
I  enjoyed  several  other  sweet  and  precious  seasons  of 
communion  with  God,  (particularly  Oct.  30,  and  Nov. 
4,)  wherein  my  soul  enjoyed  unspeakable  comfort. 

"I  returned  to  college  about  Nov.  6,  and,  through 
the  goodness  of  God,  felt  the  power  of  religion  almost 
daily,  for  the  space  of  six  weeks. 

Nov.  28.  "In  my  evening  devotion  I  enjoyed  pre- 
cious discoveries  of  God,  and  was  unspeakably  refresh- 
ed with  that  passage,  Heb.  12 : 22-24.  My  soul  longed 
to  wing  away  to  the  paradise  of  God ;  I  longed  to  be 
conformed  to  God  in  all  things. — A  day  or  two  after 
I  enjoyed  much  of  the  light  of  God's  countenance, 
most  of  the  day ;  and  my  soul  rested  in  God. 

Dec.  9.  "  I  was  in  a  comfortable  frame  of  soul  most 
of  the  day ;  but  especially  in  evening  devotions,  when 
God  was  pleased  wonderfully  to  assist  and  strengthen 
me;  so  that  I  thought  nothing  should  ever  move  me 
from  the  love  of  God  in  Christ  Jesus  my  Lord.  Oh! 
one  hour  with  God  infinitely  exceeds  all  the  pleasures 
and  delights  of  this  lower  world. 


30  LIFE   OP    BHAINEHD.  |  Chap.  I 

'*  Toward  the  latter  part  of  January,  1741,  I  grew 
more  cold  and  dull  in  religion,  by  means  of  my  old 
temptation,  ambition  in  my  studies.  But  through  di- 
vine goodness,  a  great  and  general  awakening  spread 
itself  over  the  college,  about  the  end  of  February, 
in  which  I  was  much  quickened,  and  more  abundantly 
engaged  in  religion." 

This  awakening  was  at  the  beginning  of  that  extra- 
ordinary religious  commotion  which  then  prevailed 
through  the  land,  and  in  which  the  college  shared 
largely.  For  thirteen  months  from  this  time  BRAI- 
NEHD  kept  a  constant  diary  containing  a  very  particu- 
lar account  of  what  passed  from  day  to  day,  making 
two  volumes  of  manuscripts;  but  when  he  lay  on  his 
death  bed  he  gave  orders  (unknown  to  me  till  after  his 
death)  that  these  two  volumes  should  be  destroyed, 
inserting  a  notice,  at  the  beginning  of  the  succeeding 
manuscripts,  that  a  specimen  of  his  manner  of  living 
during  that  entire  period  would  be  found  in  the  first 
thirty  pages  next  following,  (ending  with  June  15, 
1742,)  except  that  he  was  now  more  "  refined  from 
some  imprudences  and  indecent  heats"  than  before. 

A  circumstance  in  the  life  of  BRAINERD,  which  gave 
great  offence  to  the  rulers  of  the  College,  and  occa- 
sioned his  expulsion,  it  is  necessary  should  be  here 
particularly  related.  During  the  awakening  in  Col- 
lege, there  were  several  religious  students  who  asso- 
ciated together  for  mutual  conversation  and  assistance 
in  spiritual  things.  These  were  wont  freely  to  open 
themselves  one  to  another,  as  special  and  intimate 
friends  :  BRAINERD  was  one  of  this  company.  And  it 
once  happened,  that  he  and  two  or  three  more  of  these 
intimate  friends  were  in  the  hall  together  after  Mr. 


1741.J  AT   YALE   COLLEGE.  31 

Whittlesey,  one  of  the  tutors,  had  engaged  in  prayer 
with  the  scholars ;  no  other  person  now  remaining  in 
the  hall  but  Brainerd  and  his  companions.  Mr.  Whit- 
tlesey having  been  unusually  pathetic  in  his  prayer,  one 
of  Brainerd's  friends  on  this  occasion  asked  him  what 
he  thought  of  Mr.  Whittlesey  ;  he  made  answer,  "  He 
has  no  more  grace  than  this  chair."  One  of  the  fresh- 
men happening  at  that  time  to  be  near  the  hall,  (though 
not  in  the  room,)  over-heard  these  words  ;  and  though 
he  heard  no  name  mentioned,  and  knew  not  who  was 
thus  censured,  informed  a  certain  woman  in  the  town, 
withal  telling  her  his  own  suspicion,  that  Brainerd  said 
this  of  some  one  of  the  rulers  of  the  College.  Where- 
upon she  informed  the  Rector,  who  sent  for  this  fresh- 
man and  examined  him.  He  told  the  Rector  the  words 
which  he  heard  Brainerd  utter;  and  informed  him  who 
were  in  the  room  with  him  at  that  time.  Upon  this  the 
Rector  sent  for  them.  They  were  very  backward  to 
inform  against  their  friend  respecting  what  they  looked 
upon  as  private  conversation;  especially  as  none  but 
they  had  heard  or  knew  of  whom  he  had  uttered  those 
words  :  yet  the  Rector  compelled  them  to  declare  what 
he  said,  and  of  whom  he  said  it.  Brainerd  looked  on 
himself  as  very  ill  used  in  the  management  of  this  af- 
fair ;  and  thought  that  it  was  injuriously  extorted  from 
his  friends,  and  then  injuriously  required  of  him — as 
if  he  had  been  guilty  of  some  open,  notorious  crime — 
to  make  a  public  confession,  and  to  humble  himself  be- 
fore the  whole  College  in  the  hall,  for  what  he  had 
said  only  in  private  conversation.  He  not  complying 
with  this  demand,  and  having  gone  once  to  the  Sepa- 
rate meeting  at  New-Haven,  when  forbidden  by  the 
Rector  ;  and  also  having  been  accused  by  one  person 
of  saying  concerning  the  Rector,  "  that  he  wondered 


32  LIFE    OF    BRA1NERD.  [Chap.   II. 

he  did  not  expect  to  drop  down  dead  for  fining  the 
scholars  who  followed  Mr.  Tennent  to  Milford,  though 
there  was  no  proof  of  it ;  (and  Brainerd  ever  professed 
that  he  did  not  remember  saying  any  thing  to  that 
purpose,)  for  these  things  he  was  expelled  the  college. 
How  far  the  circumstances  and  exigencies  of  that 
day  might  justify  such  great  severity  in  the  governors  of 
the  college,  I  will  not  undertake  to  determine ;  it  being 
ray  aim,  not  to  bring  reproach  on  the  authority  of  the 
college,  but  only  to  do  justice  to  the  memory  of  a  per- 
son who  was,  I  think,  eminently  one  of  those  whose 
memory  is  blessed. — The  reader  will  see,  in  the  sequel, 
(particularly  under  date  of  Septemper  14,  15,  1743,) 
in  how  Christian  a  manner  Brainerd  conducted  him- 
self with  respect  to  this  affair;  though  he  ever,  as 
long  as  he  lived,  supposed  himself  ill  used  in  the 
management  of  it,  and  in  what  he  suffered. — His  ex- 
pulsion was  in  the  winter,  1742,  while  in  his  third 
year  at  college. 


CHAPTER     XX. 

From  about  the    time  when  he  began  the  study  of  Theology, 

till  he  was  licensed  to  preach. 

AprU  1, 1742—  July  29, 1742. 

IN  the  spring  of  1742  Brainerd  went  to  live  with 
the  Rev.  Mr.  Mills  of  Ripton,  to  pursue  his  studies 
with  him  for  the  work  of  the  ministry.  Here  he 
spent  the  greater  part  of  the  time  until  he  was  licensed 
to  preach ;  but  frequently  rode  to  visit  the  neighboring 
ministers,  particularly  Mr.  Cooke  of  Stratford.  Mr. 


1742.  I  WHILE   STUDYING   THEOLOGY.  33 

Graham  of  Southbury,  and  Mr.  Bellamy  of  Bethle- 
hem. The  following  are  extracts  from  his  diary  at 
this  period. 

April  1,  1742.—"  I  seem  to  be  declining,  with  res- 
pect to  my  life  and  warmth  in  divine  things  ;  have  not 
had  so  free  access  to  God  in  prayer  to-day  as  usual  of 
late.  Oh  that  God  would  humble  me  deeply  in  the 
dust  before  him !  I  deserve  hell  every  day,  for  not 
loving  my  Lord  more,  who  has,  I  trust,  "  loved  me 
and  given  himself  for  me  j"  and  every  time  I  am  ena- 
bled to  exercise  any  grace  renewedly,  I  am  renewedly 
indebted  to  the  God  of  all  grace  for  special  assistance. 
"  Where  then  is  boasting  ?"  Surely  "  it  is  excluded," 
when  we  think  how  we  are  dependent  on  God  for  the 
existence  and  every  act  of  grace.  O  if  ever  I  get  to 
heaven,  it  will  be  because  God  pleases,  and  nothing 
else ;  for  I  never  did  any  thing  of  myself  but  get  away 
from  God !  My  soul  will  be  astonished  at  the  un- 
searchable riches  of  divine  grace  when  I  arrive  at  the 
mansions  which  the  blessed  Savior  is  gone  before 
to  prepare. 

April  2. — "  In  the  afternoon  I  felt,  in  secret  prayer, 
much  resigned,  calm  and  serene.  What  are  all  the 
storms  of  this  lower  world  if  Jesus,  by  his  Spirit,  does 
but  come  walking'  on  the  seas ! — Sometime  past  I  had 
much  pleasure  in  the  prospect  of  the  Heathen  being 
brought  home  to  Christ,  and  desired  that  the  Lord 
would  employ  me  in  that  work ;  but  now  my  soul  more 
frequently  desires  to  die,  to  be  with  Christ.  Oh  that 
my  soul  were  wrapt  up  in  divine  love,  and  my  longing 
desires  after  God  increased !  In  the  evening  was  re- 
freshed in  prayer,  with  the  hopes  of  the  advancement 
of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world. 

Lord's  ilay,  April  4. — "  My  heart  was  wandering 

Brainerd.  3 


34  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  II. 

and  lifeless.  In  the  evening  God  gave  me  faith  in 
prayer,  made  my  soul  melt  in  some  measure,  and  gave 
me  to  taste  a  divine  sweetness.  O  my  blessed  God ! 
Let  me  climb  up  near  to  him,  and  love,  and  long,  and 
plead,  and  wrestle,  and  stretch  after  him,  and  for  deli- 
verance from  the  body  of  sin  and  death.  Alas  !  my 
soul  mourned  to  think  I  should  ever  lose  sight  of  its 
beloved  again.  "  O  come,  Lord  Jesus,  Amen." 

April  6. — "  I  walked  out  this  morning ;  had  an  af- 
fecting sense  of  my  own  vileness  ;  and  cried  to  God  to 
cleanse  me,  to  give  me  repentance  and  pardon.  I  then 
began  to  find  it  sweet  to  pray ;  and  could  think  of  un- 
dergoing the  greatest  sufferings  in  the  cause  of  Christ, 
with  pleasure ;  and  found  myself  willing,  if  God  should 
so  order  it,  to  suffer  banishment  from  my  native  land, 
among  the  heathen,  that  I  might  do  something  for 
their  salvation,  in  distresses  and  deaths  of  any  kind. 
Then  God  gave  me  to  wrestle  earnestly  for  others,  for 
the  kingdom  of  Christ  in  the  world,  and  for  dear  Chris- 
tian friends. 

April  8. — "  Had  raised  hopes  to-day  respecting  the 
heathen.  Oh  that  God  would  bring  in  great  numbers 
of  them  to  Jesus  Christ !  I  cannot  but  hope  that  I 
shall  see  that  glorious  day.  Every  thing  in  this  world 
seems  exceeding  vile  and  little  to  me  :  I  appear  so  to 
myself.  I  had  some  little  dawn  of  comfort  to-day  in 
prayer;  but  especially  to-night,  I  think  I  had  some 
faith  and  power  of  intercession  with  God.  I  was  en- 
abled to  plead  with  God  for  the  growth  of  grace  in 
myself;  and  many  of  the  dear  children  of  God  then 
lay  with  weight  upon  my  soul.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  ! 
It  is  good  to  wrestle  for  divine  blessings. 

April  9. — "  Most  of  my  time  in  morning  devotion 
was  spent  without  sensible  sweetness  ;  yet  I  had  one 


1742.]  WHILE   STUDYING   THEOLOGY.  35 

delightful  prospect  of  arriving  at  the  heavenly  world. 
I  am  more  amazed  than  ever  at  such  thoughts ;  for  1 
see  myself  infinitely  vile  and  unworthy.  No  poor 
creature  stands  in  need  of  divine  grace  more  than  I, 
and  none  abuse  it  more  than  I  have  done,  and  still  do. 

Lord's  day,  April  11. — "  In  the  morning  I  felt  but 
little  life ;  yet  my  heart  was  somewhat  drawn  out  in 
thankfulness  to  God  for  his  amazing  grace  and  con- 
descension to  me,  in  past  influences  and  assistances  of 
his  Spirit.  Afterward,  I  had  some  sweetness  in  the 
thoughts  of  arriving  at  the  heavenly  world.  O  for  the 
happy  day '.  After  public  worship,  God  gave  me  spe- 
cial assistance  in  prayer ;  I  wrestled  with  my  dear 
Lord,  and  intercession  was  made  a  delightful  employ- 
ment to  me.  In  the  evening,  as  I  was  viewing"  the 
light  in  the  north,  I  was  delighted  in  the  contemplation 
of  the  glorious  morning  of  the  resurrection. 

April  12. — "  This  morning  the  Lord  was  pleased  to 
lift  up  the  light  of  his  countenance  upon  me  in  secret 
prayer,  and  made  the  season  very  precious  to  my  soul. 
Though  I  have  been  so  depressed  of  late,  respecting 
my  hopes  of  future  serviceableness  in  the  cause  of  God; 
yet  now  I  had  much  encouragement.  I  was  especially 
assisted  to  intercede  and  plead  for  poor  souls,  and  for 
the  enlargement  of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world,  and 
for  special  grace  for  myself,  to  fit  me  for  special  ser- 
vices. My  faith  lifted  me  above  the  world,  and  re- 
moved all  those  mountains  over  which  of  late  I  could 
not  iook.  I  wanted  not  the  favor  of  man  to  lean  upon ; 
for  I  knew  that  Christ's  favor  was  infinitely  better,  and 
that  it  was  no  matter  when  nor  where,  nor  how  Christ 
should  send  me,  nor  what  trials  he  should  still  exercise 
me  with,  if  I  might  be  prepared  for  his  work  and  will. 

April  14. — "  My  soul  longed  for  communion  with 


36  LIFE    OF   BRAINEKD.  [  Chap.   II 

Christ,  and  for  the  mortification  of  indwelling  corrup- 
tion, especially  spiritual  pride.  O,  there  is  a  sweet 
day  coming,  wherein  "  the  weary  will  be  at  rest !" 
My  soul  has  enjoyed  much  sweetness  this  day,  in  the 
hope  of  its  speedy  arrival. 

April  15. — "  My  desires  apparently  centered  in  God 
and  I  found  a  sensible  attraction  of  soul  after  him  sun- 
dry times  to-day.  I  know  that  /  long-  for  God,  and  a 
conformity  to  his  will,  in  inward  purity  and  holiness, 
ten  thousand  times  more  than  for  any  thing  here 
below. 

Lord's  day,  April  18. — "  I  retired  early  this  morn- 
ing into  the  woods  for  prayer ;  had  the  assistance  of 
God's  Spirit,and  faith  in  exercise;  and  was  enabled  to 
plead  with  fervency  for  the  advancement  of  Christ's 
kingdom  in  the  world,  and  to  intercede  for  dear,  absent 
friends.  At  noon,  God  enabled  me  to  wrestle  with 
him,  and  to  feel,  as  I  trust,  the  power  of  divine  love 
in  prayer.  At  night,  I  saw  myself  infinitely  indebted 
to  God,  and  had  a  view  of  my  failures  in  duty.  It 
seemed  to  me  that  I  had  done,  as  it  were,  nothing  for 
God,  and  that  I  had  lived  to  him  but  a  few  hours  of 
my  life. 

April  19. — "  I  set  apart  this  day  for  fasting  and 
prayer  to  God  for  his  grace ;  especially  to  prepare  me 
for  the  work  of  the  ministry  ;  to  give  me  divine  aid 
and  direction,  in  my  preparations  for  that  great  work ; 
and  in  his  own  time  to  send  me  into  his  harvest.  Ac- 
cordingly, in  the  morning  I  endeavored  to  plead  for 
the  divine  presence  for  the  day,  and  not  without  some 
life.  In  the  forenoon  I  felt  the  power  of  intercession 
for  precious,  immortal  souls  ;  for  the  advancement  of 
the  kingdom  of  my  dear  Lord  and  Savior  in  the  world ; 
and  withal,  a  most  sweet  resignation  and  even  conso- 


742.J  WHILE   STUDYING   THEOLOGY.  37 

lation  and  joy,  in  the  thoughts  of  suffering  hardships, 
distresses,  and  even  death  itself,  in  the  promotion  of  it, 
and  had  special  enlargement  in  pleading  for  the  en- 
lightening and  conversion  of  the  poor  heathen.  In  the 
afternoon  God  was  with  me  of  a  truth.  O,  it  was 
blessed  company  indeed  !  God  enabled  me  so  to  ago- 
nize in  prayer,  that  I  was  quite  wet  with  sweat,  though 
in  the  shade  and  the  cool  wind.  My  soul  was  drawn 
out  very  much  for  the  world ;  I  grasped  for  multitudes 
of  souls.  I  think  I  had  more  enlargement  for  sinners 
than  for  the  children  of  God ;  though  I  felt  as  if  I  could 
spend  my  life  in  cries  for  both.  I  had  great  enjoy- 
ment in  communion  with  my  dear  Savior.  I  think  I 
never  in  my  life  felt  such  an  entire  weanedness  from 
this  world,  and  so  much  resigned  to  God  in  every 
thing.  O  that  I  may  always  live  to  and  upon  my 
blessed  God  !  Amen,  Amen. 

April  20. — "  This  day  I  am  twenty-four  years  of 
age.  O  how  much  mercy  have  I  received  the  year 
past !  How  often  has  God  "  caused  his  goodness  to 
pass  before  me  !"  And  how  poorly  have  I  answered 
the  vows  I  made  one  year  since,  to  be  wholly  the 
Lord's,  to  be  for  ever  devoted  to  his  service!  The 
Lord  help  me  to  live  more  to  hrs  glory  for  the  time  to 
come.  This  has  been  a  sweet,  a  happy  day  to  me; 
blessed  be  God.  I  think  my  soul  was  never  so  drawn 
out  in  intercession  for  others,  as  it  has  been  this  night. 
Had  a  most  fervent  wrestle  with  the  Lord  to-night,  for 
my  enemies ;  and  I  hardly  ever  so  longed  to  live  to 
God,  and  to  be  altogether  devoted  to  him  ;  I  wanted  to 
wear  out  my  life  in  his  service,  and  for  his  glory. 

April  21.  "Felt  much  calmness  and  resignation; 
and  God  again  enabled  me  to  wrestle  for  numbers  of 
souls,  and  gave  me  fervency  in  the  sweet  duty  of  in 


38  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   II 

tercession.  I  enjoy  of  late  more  sweetness  in  inter- 
cession for  others,  than  in  any  other  part  of  prayer. 
My  blessed  Lord  really  let  me  come  near  to  him,  and 
plead  with  him. 

Lord 's  day,  April  25.  "  This  morning  I  spent  about 
two  hours  in  secret  duties,  and  was  enabled,  more  than 
ordinarily,  to  agonize  for  immortal  souls.  At  night  I 
was  exceedingly  melted  with  divine  love,  and  had  some 
feeling  sense  of  the  blessedness  of  the  upper  world. 
Those  words  hung  upon  me  with  much  divine  sweet- 
ness. Psa.  84 : 7.  "  They  go  from  strength  to  strength, 
every  one  of  them  in  Zion  appeareth  before  God."  O 
the  near  access  that  God  sometimes  gives  us  in  our  ad- 
dresses to  him  !  This  may  well  be  termed  "  appearing 
before  God : "  it  is  so  indeed,  in  the  true  spiritual  sense, 
and  in  the  sweetest  sense.  I  think  that  I  have  not  had 
such  power  of  intercession  these  many  months,  both 
for  God's  children,  and  for  dead  sinners,  as  I  have  had 
this  evening  I  wished  and  longed  for  the  coming  of 
my  dear  Lord:  I  longed  to  join  the  angelic  hosts  in 
praises,  wholly  free  from  imperfection.  O,  the  blessed 
moment  hastens  !  All  I  want  is  to  be  more  holy,  more 
like  my  dear  Lord.  Oh  for  sanctification!  My  very 
soul  pants  for  the  complete  restoration  of  the  blessed 
'mage  of  my  Savior;  that  I  may  be  fit  for  the  blessed 
enjoyments  and  employments  of  the  heavenly  world. 

" Farewell,  vain  world ;  my  soul  can  bid  Adieu 
'My  SAVJOR  taught  me  to  abandon  you. 
'  Your  charms  may  gratify  a  SENSUAL  mind  • 
'But  cannot  please  a  soul  for  GOD  design'd. 
1  Forbear  t '  entice ;  cease  then  my  soul  to  call ; 
"  Tis  fixed  through  grace ;  my  God  shall  be  iny  ALL. 
'  While  he  thus  lets  me>heavenly  glories  view, 
"  Your  beautie*  fade,  my  heart's  no  room  for  you." 


1742.]  WHILE   STUDYING   THEOLOGY.  39 

"  The  Lord  refreshed  my  soul  with  many  sweet  pas- 
sages of  his  word.  O  the  New  Jerusalem !  my  soul 
longed  for  it.  O  the  song  of  Moses  and  the  Lamb ! 
And  that  blessed  song,  that  no  man  can  learn  but  they 
who  are  "  redeemed  from  the  earth ! " 

•Lord,  I'm  a  stranger  here  alone;  _ 

'Earth  no  true  comforts  can  afford; 

*  Yet,  absent  from  my  dearest  one, 

'My  soul  delights  to  cry  'My  Lord!" 

'  JESUS,  my  Lord,  my  only  love, 

'  Possess  my  soul,  nor  ihence  depart : 

'  Grant  me  kind  visits,  heavenly  Dovo ; 

'  My  God  shall  then  have  all  my  heart." 

April  27.  "I  arose  and  retired  early  for  secret  de- 
votions ;  and  in  prayer,  God  was  pleased  to  pour  such 
ineffable  comforts  into  my  soul,  that  I  could  do  nothing 
for  some  time  but  say  over  and  over,  "  O  my  sweet  Sa- 
vior !  whom  have  I  in  Heaven  but  thee  ?  and  there  is 
none  upon  earth  that  I  desire  beside  thee."  If  I  had 
a  thousand  lives,  my  soul  would  gladly  have  laid  them 
all  down  at  once,  to  have  been  with  CHRIST.  My  soul 
never  enjoyed  so  much  of  heaven  before ;  it  was  the 
most  refined  and  most  spiritual  season  of  communion 
with  God  I  ever  yet  felt. 

April  28. — "  I  withdrew  to  my  usual»place  of  retire- 
ment, in  great  peace  and  tranquility,  spent  about  two 
hours  in  secret  duties,  and  felt  much  as  I  did  yester- 
day morning,  only  weaker,  and  more  overcome.  I 
seemed  to  depend  wholly  on  my  dear  Lord ;  weaned 
from  all  other  dependencies.  I  knew  not  what  to  say 
to  my  God,  but  only  lean  on  his  bosom,  as  it  were,  and 
breathe  out  my  desires  after  a  perfect  conformity  to 
him  in  all  things.  Thirsting  desires  after  perfect  holi- 
ness, and  insatiable  longings  possessed  ray  soul.  God 


40  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  Jl 

•     *£,  »  ^j, 

was  no  precious  to  me  that  the  world,  with  all  its  enjoy- 
ments, was  infinitely  vile.  I  had  no  more  value  for 
the  favor  of  men,  than  for  pebbles.  The  LORD  was  my 
ALL,  and  that  he  over-ruled  all,  greatly  delighted  me. 
I  think  that  my  faith  and  dependence  on  God  scarce 
ever  rose  so  high.  I  saw  him  such  a  fountain  of  good- 
ness |hat  it  seemed  impossible  I  should  distrust  nim 
again,  or  be  any  way  anxious  about  any  thing  that 
should  happen  to  me.  I  now  had  great  satisfaction  in 
praying  for  absent  friends,  and  for  the  enlargement  of 
Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world.  Much  of  the  power  of 
these  divine  enjoyments  remained  with  me  through 
the  day.  In  the  evening  my  heart  seemed  to  melt,  and 
I  trust  was  really  humbled  for  indwelling  corruption, 
and  I  "  mourned  like  a  dove."  I  felt  that  all  my  un- 
happiness  arose  from  my  being  a  sinner.  With  resig- 
nation, I  could  bid  welcome  to  all  other  trials ;  but  sin 
hung  heavy  upon  me ;  for  God  discovered  to  me  the 
corruption  of  my  heart.  I  went  to  bed  with  a  heavy 
heart,  because  I  was  a  sinner  ;  though  I  did  not  in  the 
least  doubt  of  God's  love.  O  that  God  would  "  purge 
away  my  dross,  and  take  away  my  tin,"  and  make  me 
ten  times  refined ! 

May  I. — "I  was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  with  fer 
vency  for  ministerial  qualifications,  that  he  would  ap 
pear  for  the  advancement  of  his  own  kingdom,  and 
that  he  would  bring  in  the  Heathen.  Had  much  assis- 
tance in  my  studies.  This  has  been  a  profitable  week 
to  me;  I  have  enjoyed  many  communications  of  the 
blessed  Spirit  in  my  soul. 

May  3. — "  Had  a  sense  of  vile  ingratitude.  In  the 
morning  I  withdrew  to  my  usual  place  of  retirement, 
and  mourned  for  my  abuse  of  my  dear  Lord ;  spent 
the  day  in  fasting  and  prayer.  God  gave  me  much 


1742. j  WHILE   STUDYING   THEOLOGY.  41 

power  of  wrestling  for  his  cause  and  kingdom ;  and  it 
was  a  happy  day  to  my  soul.  God  was  with  me  all 
the  day;  and  I  was  more  above  the  world  than  ever  in 
my  life. 

May  13. — (At  Wethersfield.)  "Saw  so  much  of  the 
wickedness  of  my  heart  that  I  longed  to  get  away 
from  myself.  I  never  before  thought  that  there  was 
so  much  spiritual  pride  in  my  soul.  I  felt  almost 
pressed  to  death  with  my  own  vileness.  O  what  a 
"body  of  death"  is  there  in  me  !  Lord  deliver  my  soul ! 
t  could  not  find  any  convenient  place  for  retirement, 
and  was  greatly  exercised.  Rode  to  Hartford  in  the 
afternoon ;  had  some  refreshment  and  comfort  in  reli- 
gious exercises  with  Christian  friends;  but  longed  for 
more  retirement.  O,  the  closest  walk  with  God  is  the 
sweetest  heaven  that  can  be  enjoyed  on  earth  ! 

June  14. — "  Felt  somewhat  of  the  sweetness  of  com- 
munion with  God,  and  the  constraining  force  of  his 
love;  how  admirably  it  captivates  the  soul,  and  makes 
all  the  desires  and  affections  centre  in  God ! — I  set 
apart  this  day  for  secret  fasting  and  prayer,  to  entreat 
God  to  direct  and  bless  me  with  regard  to  the  great  work 
which  I  have  in  view,  of  preaching  thegospel — and  that 
the  Lord  would  return  to  me,  and  individually  "  show 
me  the  light  of  his  countenance."  Had  little  life  and 
power  in  the  forenoon:  near  the  middle  of  the  afternoon 
God  enabled  me  to  wrestle  ardently  in  intercession  for 
absent  friends :  but  just  at  night  the  Lord  visited  me 
marvellously  in  prayer.  1  think  my  soul  never  was  in 
such  an  agony  before.  I  felt  no  restraint,  for  the  trea- 
sures of  divine  grace  were  opened  to  me.  I  wrestled 
for  absent  friends,  for  the  ingathering  of  souls,  for 
multitudes  of  poor  souls,  and  for  many  that  I  thought 
were  the  children  of  God,  in  many  distant  places.  I 


42  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  ( Chap.     II. 

was  in  such  an  agony,  from  half  an  hour  before  sun- 
set, till  near  dark,  that  I  was  all  over  wet  with  sweat : 
but  yet  it  seemed  to  me  that  I  had  wasted  away  the 
day,  and  had  done  nothing.  O,  my  dear  Savior  did 
sweat  blood  for  poor  souls  !  I  longed  for  more  com- 
passion toward  them.  Felt  still  in  a  sweet  frame,  under 
a  sense  of  divine  love  and  grace  ;  and  went  to  bed  in 
such  a  frame,  with  my  heart  set  on  God. 

June  15. — "  Had  the  most  ardent  longings  after  God. 
At  noon,  in  my  secret  retirement,  I  could  do  nothing 
but  tell  my  dear  Lord,  in  a  sweet  calm,  that  he  knew  1 
desired  nothing  but  himself,  nothing  but  holiness  ;  that 
he  had  given  me  these  desires,  and  he  only  could  give 
me  the  thing  desired.  I  never  seemed  to  be  so  un- 
hinged from  myself,  and  to  be  so  wholly  devoted  to 
God.  My  heart  was  swallowed  up  in  God  most  of  the 
day.  In  the  evening  I  had  such  a  view  of  the  soul  be- 
ing, as  it  were,  enlarged,  to  contain  more  holiness,  that 
it  seemed  ready  to  separate  from  my  body.  I  then 
wrestled  in  an  agony  for  divine  blessings;  had  my 
heart  drawn  out  in  prayer  for  some  Christian  friends, 
beyond  what  I  ever  had  before.  I  feel  differently  now 
from  what  I  ever  did  under  any  enjoyments  before; 
more  engaged  to  live  to  God  for  ever,  and  less  pleased 
with  my  own  frames.  I  am  not  satisfied  with  my 
frames,  nor  feel  at  all  more  easy  after  such  strugglings 
than  before ;  for  it  seems  far  too  little,  if  I  could  al- 
ways be  so.  O  how  short  do  I  fall  of  my  duty  in  my 
sweetest  moments ! 

June  18. — "  Considering  my  great  unfitness  for  the 
work  of  the  ministry,  my  present  deadness,  and  total 
inability  to  do  any  thing  for  the  glory  of  God  that  way, 
feeling  myself  very  helpless,  and  at  a  great  loss  what 
the  Lord  would  have  me  to  do;  1  set  apart  this  day  for 


1742.]  WHILE   STUDYING   THEOLOGY.  43 

prayer  to  God,  and  spent  most  of  the  day  in  that  duty 
but  was  amazingly  deserted  most  of  the  day.  Yet  1 
found  God  graciously  near,  once  in  particular ;  while  i 
was  pleading  for  more  compassion  for  immortal  souls, 
my  heart  seemed  to  be  opened  at  once,  and  I  was  ena- 
bled to  cry  with  great  ardency  for  a  few  minutes.  O, 
I  was  distressed  to  think,  that  I  should  offer  such  dead 
cold  services  to  the  living  God  !  My  soul  seemed  to 
breathe  after  holiness,  a  life  of  constant  devotedness  to 
God.  But  I  am  almost  lost  sometimes  in  the  pursuit 
of  this  blessedness,  and  ready  to  sink,  because  I  con- 
tinually fall  short,  and  miss  of  my  desire.  O  that  the 
Lord  would  help  me  to  hold  out,  yet  a  little  while,  until 
the  happy  hour  of  deliverance  comes! 

June  30. — "  Spent  this  day  alone  in  the  woods,  in 
fasting  and  prayer  ;  underwent  the  most  dreadful  con- 
flicts in  my  soul.  I  saw  myself  so  vile  that  I  was 
ready  to  say,  "  I  shall  now  perish  by  the  hand  of 
Saul."  I  thought  that  I  had  no  power  to  stand  for  the 
cause  of  God,  but  was  almost  afraid  of  the  shaking  of 
a  leaf.  Spent  almost  the  whole  day  in  prayer,  inces- 
santly. I  could  not  bear  to  think  of  Christians  show- 
ing me  any  respect.  I  almost  despaired  of  doing  any 
service  in  the  world :  I  could  not  feel  any  hope  or 
comfort  respecting  the  heathen,  which  used  to  afford 
me  some  refreshment  in  the  darkest  hours  of  this  na- 
ture. I  spent  the  day  in  bitterness  of  soul.  Near 
night  I  felt  a  little  better ;  and  afterward  enjoyed 
some  sweetness  in  secret  prayer. 

July  1. — "  Had  some  enjoyment  in  prayer  this  morn- 
ing ;  and  far  more  than  usurl  in  secret  prayer  to-night, 
and  desired  nothing  so  ardently  as  that  God  should  do 
loith  me  just  as  he  pleased. 

July  2.— "  Felt  composed  in  secret  prayer  in  the 


44  LIFE    OF   BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  II, 

morning.  My  desires  ascended  to  God  this  day,  as 
I  was  traveling:  was  comfortable  in  the  evening. 
Blessed  be  God  for  all  my  consolations. 

July  3. — "  My  heart  seemed  again  to  sink.  The  dis- 
grace I  was  laid  under  at  college  seemed  to  damp  my 
spirits  ;  as  it  opens  the  mouths  of  opposers.  I  had  no 
refuge  but  in  God.  Blessed  be  his  name,  that  I  may 
go  to  him  at  all  times,  and  find  him  a  "  present  help.' 

Lord's  day,  July  4. — "  Had  considerable  assistance 
In  the  evening  I  withdrew,  and  enjoyed  a  happy  sea- 
son in  secret  prayer.  God  was  pleased  to  give  me  the 
exercise  of  faith,  and  thereby  brought  the  invisible 
and  eternal  world  near  to  my  soul ;  which  appeared 
sweetly  to  me.  I  hoped  that  my  weary  pilgrimage  in 
the  world  would  be  short  ;  and  that  it  would  not  be 
long  before  1  should  be  brought  to  my  heavenly  home 
and  Father's  house.  I  was  resigned  to  God's  will,  to 
tarry  his  time,  to  do  his  work,  and  suffer  his  pleasure. 
I  felt  thankfulness  to  God  for  all  my  pressing  desertions 
of  late ;  for  I  am  persuaded  that  they  have  been  made 
a  means  of  making  me  more  humble,  and  much  more 
resigned.  I  felt  pleased  to  be  little,  to  be  nothing,  and 
to  lie  in  the  dust.  I  enjoyed  life  and  consolation  in 
pleading  for  the  dear  children  of  God,  and  the  king- 
dom of  Christ  in  the  world :  and  my  soul  earnestly 
breathed  after  holiness,  and  the  enjoyment  of  God. 
"  O  come,  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly." 

July  29. — "  I  was  examined  by  the  Association  met 
at  Danbury,  as  to  my  learning,  and  also  my  experience 
in  religion,  and  received  a  licence  from  them  to  preach 
the  Gospel  of  Christ.  Afterward  felt  much  devoted 
to  God ;  joined  in  prayer  with  one  of  the  ministers, 
my  peculiar  friend,  in  a  convenient  place  ;  and  went 
to  bed  resolving  to  live  devoted  to  God  all  my  days.n 


1742.]  WHILE   A   LICENTIATE.  45 


CHAPTER     III. 

From  kis  being  licensed  to  preach,  tiU  he  was  commissioned  as  o 
Missionary. 

July  30.— Nov.  25, 1742. 

July  30,  1742.—"  Rode  from  Danbury  to  South- 
bury  ;  preached  there,  from  1  Pet.  4  :  8.  Had  much 
of  the  comfortable  presence  of  God  in  the  exercise.  I 
seemed  to  have  power  with  God  in  prayer,  and  power 
to  get  hold  of  the  hearts  of  the  people  in  preaching. 

Aug.  12.  (Near  Kent.) — "  This  morning  and  last 
night  I  was  exercised  with  sore  inward  trials :  I  had 
no  power  to  pray;  but  seemed  shut  out  from  God.  I 
had  in  a  great  measure  lost  my  hopes  of  God's  send- 
ing me  among  the  Heathen  afar  off,  and  of  seeing 
them  flock  home  to  Christ.  I  saw  so  much  of  my 
vileness,  that  I  wondered  that  God  would  let  me  live, 
and  that  people  did  not  stone  me ;  much  more  that 
they  would  ever  hear  me  preach !  It  seemed  as  though 
I  never  could  preach  any  more ;  yet  about  nine  or  ten 
o'clock  the  people  came  over,  and  I  was  forced  to 
preach  ;  and  blessed  be  God,  he  gave  me  his  presence 
and  Spirit  in  prayer  and  preaching;  so  that  I  was 
much  assisted,  and  spake  with  power,  from  Job,  14 : 14, 
Some  Indians  residing  here,  cried  out  in  great  dis- 
tress, and  all  appeared  greatly  concerned.  After  we 
had  prayed  and  exhorted  them  to  seek  the  Lord  with 
constancy,  and  hired  an  Englishwoman  to  keep  a  kind 
of  school  among  them,  we  came  away." 

Lord's  day,  Aug.  15. — "  Felt  much  comfort  and  de- 
votedness  to  God  this  day.  At  night,  it  was  refresh- 
ing to  get  alone  with  God,  and  pour  out  my  smd.  0, 


46  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  LChap.  HI. 

who  can  conceive  of  the  sweetness  of  communion 
with  the  blessed  God,  but  those  who  have  experience 
of  it !  Glory  to  God  for  ever,  that  I  may  taste  heaven 
below. 

Aug.  17. — "  Exceedingly  depressed  in  spirit,  it  cuts 
and  wounds  my  heart  to  think  how  much  self-exalta- 
tion, spiritual  pride,  and  warmth  of  temper,  I  have 
formerly  had  intermingled  with  my  endeavors  to  pro- 
mote God's  work :  and  sometimes  I  long  to  lie  down 
at  the  feet  of  opposers,  and  confess  what  a  poor  im- 
perfect creature  I  have  been,  and  still  am.  The  Lord 
forgive  me,  and  make  me,  for  the  future,  "  wise  as  a 
serpent,  and  harmless  as  a  dove  !"  Afterward  en- 
joyed considerable  comfort  and  delight  of  soul. 

Aug.  19. — "  This  day,  being  about  to  go  from  Mr. 
Bellamy's,  at  Bethlehem,  where  I  had  resided  some 
time,  I  prayed  with  him  and  two  or  three  other  Chris- 
tian friends.  We  gave  ourselves  to  God  with  all  our 
hearts,  to  be  his  for  ever :  eternity  looked  ve/y  near 
to  me  while  I  was  praying.  If  I  never  should  see 
these  Christians  again  in  this  world,  it  seemed  but  a 
few  moments  before  I  should  meet  them  in  another 
world. 

Aug.  23. — "  Had  a  sweet  season  in  secret  prayer : 
the  Lord  drew  near  to  my  soul,  and  filled  me  with 
peace  and  divine  consolation.  O,  my  soul  tasted  the 
sweetness  of  heaven ;  and  was  drawn  out  in  prayer 
for  the  world,  that  it  might  come  home  to  Christ ! 
Had  much  comfort  in  the  thoughts  and  hopes  of  the 
ingathering  of  the  Heathen ;  was  greatly  assisted  in 
intercession  for  Christian  friends." 

Sept.  1. — "  Went  to  Judea  to  the  ordination  of  Mr. 
Judd.  Mr.  Bellamy  preached  from  Matt.  24  •  46. 
'  Blessed  is  that  servant  whom  his  Lord,  when  he 


1742.  J  WHILE   A   LICENTIATE.  47 

cometh,  shall  find  so  doing.'  I  felt  very  solemn ;  had 
my  thoughts  much  on  that  time  when  our  Lord  will 
come,  which  refreshed  my  soul  much ;  only  I  was 
afraid  I  should  not  be  found  faithful,  because  I  have 
so  vile  a  heart,  My  thoughts  were  much  in  eternity 
where  I  love  to  dwell.  Blessed  be  God  for  this  solemn 
season.  Rode  home  to  night  with  Mr.  Bellamy,  con- 
versed with  some  friends  till  it  was  very  late,  and  then 
retired  to  rest  in  a  comfortable  frame. 

Sept.  4. — "  Much  out  of  health,  exceedingly  depressed 
in  my  soul,  and  at  awful  distance  from  God.  Toward 
night,  spent  some  time  in  profitable  thoughts  on  Rom. 
8  :  2.  Near  night,  had  a  very  sweet  season  in  prayer  ; 
God  enabled  me  to  wrestle  ardently  for  the  advance- 
ment of  the  Redeemer's  kingdom  ;  pleaded  earnestly 
for  my  own  dear  brother  John,  (who  at  length  became 
his  successor  as  a  Missionary  to  the  Indians,)  that  God 
would  make  him  more  of  a  pilgrim  and  stranger  on 
the  earth,  and  fit  him  for  singular  serviceableness  in 
the  world  ;  and  my  heart  sweetly  exulted  in  the  Lord, 
in  the  thoughts  of  any  distresses  that  might  alight  on 
him  or  on  me,  in  the  advancement  of  Christ's  king- 
dom. It  was  a  sweet  and  comfortable  hour  unto  my 
.'  soul,  while  I  was  indulged  with  freedom  to  plead,  not 
only  for  myself,  but  also  for  many  other  souls. 

Sept.  16. — "  At  night,  enjoyed  much  of  God,  in  se- 
cret prayer  :  felt  an  uncommon  resignation  to  be  and 
do  what  God  pleased.  Some  days  past  I  felt  great 
perplexity  on  account  of  my  past  conduct :  my  bitter- 
ness, and  want  of  Christian  kindness  and  love,  has 
been  very  distressing  to  my  soul :  the  Lord  forgive 
me  my  unchristian  warmth,  and  want  of  a  spirit  of 
meekness !  v{  Jj/ 

Oct.  21. — "  Had  a  very  deep  sense  of  the  vanity  of 


48  LIFE   OF   BKAINERD.  [Chap.  Ill 

the  world,  most  of  the  day  ;  had  little  more  regard  to 
it,  than  if  I  had  been  to  go  into  eternity  the  next  hour. 
Through  divine  goodness,  I  felt  very  serious  and 
solemn.  O  Hove  to  live  on  the  brink  of  eternity,  in  my 
views  and  meditations !  This  gives  me  a  sweet,  awful 
and  reverential  sense  and  apprehension  of  God  and 
divine  things,  when  I  see  myself  as  it  were,  standing 
before  the  judgment  seat  of  Christ. 

Oct.  22. — "  Uncommonly  weaned  from  the  world  to- 
day :  my  soul  delighted  to  be  a  "  stranger  and  pilgrim 
on  the  earth ;"  I  felt  a  disposition  in  me  never  to  have 
any  thing  to  do  with  this  world.  The  character  given 
of  some  of  the  ancient  people  of  God,  in  Heb.  11  :  13, 
was  very  pleasing  to  me,  "  They  confessed  that  they 
were  pilgrims  and  strangers  on  the  earth,"  by  their 
daily  practice ;  and  O  that  I  could  always  do  so  ! 
Spent  some  time  in  a  pleasant  grove,  in  prayer  and 
meditation.  O  it  is  sweet  to  be  thus  weaned  from 
friends,  and  from  myself,  and  dead  to  the  present 
world,  that  so  I  may  live  wholly  to  and  upon  the 
blessed  God  !  Saw  myself  little,  low  and  vile, as  I  am 
in  myself.  In  the  afternoon  preached  at  Bethlehem 
from  Deut.  8  :  2.  God  helped  me  to  speak  to  the 
hearts  of  dear  Christians.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  this 
season :  I  trust  they  and  I  shall  rejoice  on  this  account 
to  all  eternity.  Dear  Mr.  Bellamy  came  in  while  I 
was  making  the  first  prayer,  (having  returned  home 
from  a  journey,)  and  after  meeting  we  walked  away 
together,  and  spent  the  evening  in  sweetly  conversing 
on  divine  things,  and  praying  together,  with  tender 
love  to  each  other,  and  retired  to  rest  with  our  hearts 
in  a  serious  spiritual  frame. 

Oct.  26.—"  [At  West  Suffield.J  Was  in  great  dis- 
tress, under  a  sense  of  my  own  unworthiness.  It 


1742.J  WHILE   A   LICENTIATE.  49 

seemed  to  me  that  I  deserved  rather  to  be  driven  out 
of  the  place,  than  to  have  any  body  treat  me  with 
kindness,  or  come  to  hear  me  preach.  And  verily  my 
spirits  were  so  depressed  at  this  time  (as  at  many 
others)  that  it  was  impossible  I  should  treat  immortal 
souls  with  faithfulness.  I  could  not  deal  closely  and 
faithfully  with  them,  I  felt  so  infinitely  vile  in  myself. 

0  what  dust  and  ashes  I  am,  to  think  of  preaching  the 
Gospel  to  others  !    Indeed,  I  never  can  be  faithful  for 
one  moment,  but  shall  certainly  "  daub  with  untem- 
pered  mortar,"  if  God  do  not  grant  me  special  help. 
In  the  evening  I  went  to  the  meeting-house,  and  it 
looked  to  me  near  as  easy  for  one  to  rise  out  of  the 
grave  and  preach,  as  for  me.     However,  God  afforded 
me  some  life  and  power,  both  in  prayer  and  sermon ; 
and  was  pleased  to  lift  me  up,  and  show  me  that  he 
could  enable  me  to  preach.   O  the  wonderful  goodness 
of  God  to  so  vile  a  sinner  !     Returned  to  my  lodgings, 
and  enjoyed  some   sweetness  in  prayer  alone,  and 
mourned  that  I  could  not  live  more  to  God. 

November  4. — "  [At  Lebanon.]     Saw  much  of  my 
nothingness  most  of  this  day ;  but  felt  concerned  that 

1  had  no  more  sense  of  my  insufficiency  and  unwor- 
thiness.    O  it  is  sweet  lying  in  the  dust  I  But  it  is  dis- 
tressing to  feel  in  my  soul  that  hell  of  corruption 
which  still  remains  in  me.    In  the  afternoon  had  a 
sense  of  the  sweetness  of  a  strict,  close,  and  constant 
devotedness  to  God,  and  my  soul  was  comforted  with 
his  consolations.     My  soul  felt  a  pleasing,  yet  painful 
concern,  lest  I  should  spend  some  moments  without 
Gua.    O  may  I  always  live  to  God !    In  the  evening  I 
was  visited  by  some  friends,  and  spent  the  time  in 
prayer,  and  such  conversation  as  tended  to  our  edifica- 
tion.   It  was  a  comfortable  season  to  my  soul :  I  felt  an 

Brainerd.  4 


SO  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [  Chap.  Ill 

intense  desire  to  spend  every  moment  for  God.  God 
is  unspeakably  gracious  to  me  continually.  In  times 
past,  he  has  given  me  inexpressible  sweetness  in  the 
performance  of  duty.  Frequently  my  soul  has  enjoyed 
much  of  God  ;  but  has  been  ready  to  say,  "  Lord,  it  is 
good  to  be  here,"  and  so  to  indulge  sloth,  while  I  have 
lived  on  my  enjoyments.  But  of  late,  God  has  been 
pleased  to  keep  my  soul  hungry,  almost  continually ; 
so  that  I  have  been  filled  with  a  kind  of  pleasing  pain. 
When  I  really  enjoy  God  I  feel  my  desires  of  him  the 
more  insatiable,  and  my  thirstings  after  holiness  the 
more  unquenchable ;  and  the  Lord  will  not  allow  me 
to  feel  as  though  I  were  fully  supplied  and  satisfied, 
but  keeps  me  still  reaching  forward.  I  feel  barren  and 
empty,  as  though  I  could  not  live  without  more  of 
God ;  I  feel  ashamed  and  guilty  before  him.  I  see  that 
"  the  law  is  spiritual,  but  I  am  carnal."  I  do  not,  I 
cannot  live  to  God.  O  for  holiness  !  O  for  more  of 
God  in  my  soul !  O  this  pleasing  pain  !  It  makes  my 
soul  press  after  God ;  the  language  of  it  is,  "  Then 
shall  I  be  satisfied,  when  I  awake  in  God's  likeness," 
but  never,  never  before :  and  consequently,  lam  en- 
gaged to  "  press  toward  the  mark,"  day  by  day.  O 
that  I  may  feel  this  continual  hunger,  and  not  be  re- 
tarded, but  rather  animated,  by  every  cluster  from  Ca- 
naan, to  reach  forward  in  the  narrow  way  for  the  full 
enjoyment  and  possession  of  the  heavenly  inheritance ! 
O  that  I  may  never  loiter  in  my  heavenly  journey  !" 
Lord's  day,  Nov.  7. — "  [At  Millington.]  It  seemed 
as  if  such  an  unholy  wretch  as  I  never  could  arrive  al 
that  blessedness,  to  be  "  holy,  as  God  is  holy."  At 
noon,  I  longed  for  sanctification,  and  conformity  10 
God.  O  that  is  THE  ALL,  THE  ALL.  The  Lord  help  me 
to  press  after  God  for  ever. 


1742.J  WHILE    A    LICENTIATE.  51 

Nov.  8. — "  Toward  night,  enjoyed  much  sweetness 
in  secret  prayer,  so  that  my  soul  longed  for  an  arrival 
in  the  heavenly  country,  the  blessed  paradise  of  God. 
Through  divine  goodness  I  have  scarce  seen  the  day 
for  two  months,  in  which  death  has  not  looked  so  plea- 
sant to  me,  at  one  time  or  other  of  the  day,  that  I  could 
have  rejoiced  that  it  should  be  my  last,  notwithstand- 
ing my  present  inward  trials  and  conflicts.  I  trust  the 
Lord  will  finally  make  me  a  conqueror,  and  more  than 
a  conqueror ;  and  that  I  shall  be  able  to  use  that  trium- 
phant language,  "  O  death,  where  is  thy  sting  !  O  grave, 
where  is  thy  victory  !" 

Nov.  19. — "  [At  New-Haven.]  Received  a  letter  from 
the  Rev.  Mr.  Pemberton,  of  New-York,  desiring  me 
speedily  to  go  down  thither,  and  consult  in  reference 
to  the  evangelizing  of  the  Indians  in  those  parts;  and 
to  meet  certain  gentlemen  there  who  were  intrusted 
with  those  affairs.  My  mind  was  instantly  seized  with 
concern ;  so  I  retired,  with  two  or  three  Christian 
friends,  and  prayed  ;  and  indeed  it  was  a  sweet  time 
with  me.  I  was  enabled  to  leave  myself,  and  all  my 
concerns  with  God ;  and  taking  leave  of  friends,  I  rode 
to  Ripton,  and  was  comforted  in  an  opportunity  to  see 
and  converse  with  dear  Mr.  Mills." 

Nov.  24. — "  Came  to  New- York ;  felt  still  much  con- 
cerned about  the  importance  of  my  business;  made 
many  earnest  requests  to  God  for  his  help  and  direc- 
tion ;  was  confused  with  the  noise  and  tumult  of  the 
city  ;  enjoyed  but  little  time  alone  with  God ;  but  my 
soul  longed  after  him. 

Nov.  25. — "  Spent  much  time  in  prayer  and  suppli- 
cation :  was  examined  in  reference  to  my  Christian  ex- 
perience, my  acquaintance  with  divinity,  and  some 
other  studies  and  my  qualifications  for  the  important 


52  LIFE    OF    BKAINEKU.  [Chap.   IV 

work  of  evangelizing  the  heathen  ,*  and  was  made  sen- 
sible of  my  great  ignorance  and  unfitness  for  public 
service.  I  had  the  most  abasing  thoughts  of  myself; 
I  felt  that  I  was  the  worst  wretch  that  ever  lived  :  it 
pained  my  very  heart,  that  any  body  should  show  me 
any  respect.  Alas !  methought  how  sadly  they  are 
deceived  in  me  !  how  miserably  would  they  be  disap- 
pointed if  they  knew  my  inside  !  O  my  heart !  And 
in  this  depressed  condition  I  was  forced  to  go  and 
preach  to  a  considerable  assembly,  before  some  grave 
and  learned  ministers ;  but  felt  such  a  pressure  from  a 
sense  of  my  vileness,  ignorance,  and  unfitness  to  ap- 
pear in  public,  that  I  was  almost  overcome  with  it ; 
my  soul  was  grieved  for  the  congregation,  that  they 
should  sit  there  to  hear  such  a  dead  dog  as  I  preach. 
I  thought  myself  infinitely  indebted  to  the  people,  and 
longed  that  God  would  reward  them  with  the  rewards 
of  his  grace.  I  spent  much  of  the  evening  alone." 


CHAPTER    IV. 

From  his  appointment  as  a  Missionary,  to  his  contmencing  Ais 
Mission  among  the  Indians  at  Kaunaumcek,  in  New-York. 

Nov.  26,  3742.— March  31,  1743. 

Nov.  26,  1742. — "  Had  still  a  sense  of  my  great  vile- 
ness,  and  endeavored  as  much  as  I  could  to  keep  alone. 
O  what  a  nothing,  what  dust  and  ashes  am  I !  Enjoyed 

*  Mr.  Brainerd  was  examined  by  the  correspondents  in  New 
York,  New-Jersey,  and  Pennsylvania,  of  the  Society  in  Scot- 
land for  propagating  Christian  knowledge ;  to  whom  was  com- 
mitted the  management  of  their  affairs  in  those  parts,  and  who 
were  now  met  at  New-York. 


1742.J  WHILE   A    LICENTIATE.  58 

some  peace  and  comfort  in  spreading  my  complaints 
before  the  God  of  all  grace. 

Nov.  27. — "  Committed  my  soul  to  God  with  some 
degree  of  comfort ;  left  New- York  about  nine  in  the 
morning ;  came  away  with  a  distressing  sense  still  of 
my  unspeakable  unworthiness.  Surely  I  may  well 
love  all  my  brethren ;  for  none  of  them  all  is  so  vile 
as  I:  whatever  they  do  outwardly,  yet  it  seems  to  me 
none  is  conscious  of  so  much  guilt  before  God.  O  my 
leanness,  my  barrenness,  my  carnality,  and  past  bitter- 
ness, and  want  of  a  gospel  temper !  These  things  op- 
press my  soul.  Rode  from  New-York,  thirty  miles,  to 
White  Plains,  and  most  of  the  way  continued  lifting 
up  my  heart  to  God  for  mercy  and  purifying  grace; 
and  spent  the  evening  much  dejected  in  spirit. 

Dec.  1. — "  My  soul  breathed  after  God,  in  sweet 
spiritual  and  longing  desires  of  conformity  to  him, 
and  was  brought  to  rest  itself  on  his  rich  grace,  and 
felt  strength  and  encouragement  to  do  or  suffer  any 
thing, that  divine  providence  should  allot  me.  Rode 
about  twenty  miles,  from  Stratfield  to  Newtown." 

Within  the  space  of  the  next  nine  days  he  went  a 
journey  from  Newtown  to  Haddam,  his  native  town; 
and  after  staying  there  some  days,  returned  again 
into  the  western  part  of  Connecticut,  and  came  to 
Southbury. 

Dec.  11. — "  Conversed  with  a  dear  friend,  to  whom 
I  had  thought  of  giving  a  liberal  education,  and  being 
at  the  whole  charge  of  it,  that  he  might  be  fitted  for  the 
gospel  ministry.*  I  acquainted  him  with  my  thoughts 

*  Brainerd,  having  now  undertaken  the  business  of  a  mis- 
sionary to  the  Indians,  and  having  some  estate  left  him  by  his 
father,  judged  that  there  was  110  way  in  which  he  could  spend 
it  more  fnr  the  glory  of  God,  than  hy  being  at  the  charge  of 


64  LIFE   OF-  BRAINERD.  [Chap.    IV 

on  the  subject,  and  so  left  him  to  consider  of  i(,  till  I 
should  see  him  again.  Then  I  rode  to  Bethlehem, 
came  to  Mr.  Bellamy's  lodgings,  and  spent  the  evening 
with  him  in  sweet  conversation  and  prayer.  We  com- 
mended the  concern  of  sending  my  friend  to  college 
to  the  God  of  all  grace.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  this 
evening's  opportunity  together. 

Lord's  day,  Dec.  12. — "  I  felt,  in  the  morning,  as  if 
I  had  little  or  no  power  either  to  pray  or  preach ;  and 
felt  a  distressing  need  of  divine  help.  1  went  to  meeting 
trembling ;  but  it  pleased  God  to  assist  me  in  prayer 
and  sermon.  I  think  my  soul  scarce  ever  penetrated 
so  far  into  the  immaterial  world,  in  any  one  prayer 
that  I  ever  made,  nor  were  my  devotions  ever  so  free 
from  gross  conceptions  and  imaginations  framed  from 
beholding  material  objects.  I  preached  with  some 
satisfaction,  from  Matt.  6  :  33.  "But  seek  ye  first  the 
kingdom  of  God,"  &c. ;  and  in  the  afternoon,  from 
Rom.  15  :  30.  "And  now  I  beseech  you  brethren,'' 
&c.  There  was  much  affection  in  the  assembly.  This 
has  been  a  sweet  Sabbath  to  me  ;  and  blessed  be  God, 
I  have  reason  to  think  that  my  religion  has  become 
more  spiritual  by  means  of  my  late  inward  conflicts. 
Amen.  May  I  always  be  willing  that  God  should  use 
his  own  methods  with  me  ! 

Dec.  14. — "  Some  perplexity  hung  on  my  mind ;  I 
was  distressed  last  night  and  this  morning  for  the  in- 
terests of  Zion,  especially  on  account  of  the  false  ap- 
pearances of  religion,  that  do  but  rather  breed  confu- 

cducating  some  young  man  of  talents  and  piety  for  the  minis- 
try. The  young  man  here  spoken  of  was  selected  for  this  pur- 
pose, and  received  his  education  at  Braiuerd's  expense,  so 
long  as  his  benefactor  lived,  which  was  till  he  was  carried 
through  his  third  vear  in  college. 


1742.  j  WHILE   A   LICENTIATE.  55 

sion,  especially  in  some  places.  I  cried  to  God  for 
help,  to  enable  me  to  bear  testimony  against  those 
things,  which,  instead  of  promoting,  do  but  hinder  the 
progress  of  vital  piety.  In  the  afternoon,  rode  down 
to  Southbury,  and  conversed  again  with  my  friend 
on  the  important  subject  of  his  pursuing  the  work  of 
the  ministry ;  and  he  appeared  much  inclined  to  de- 
vote himself  to  it,  if  God  should  succeed  his  attempts 
to  qualify  himself  for  so  great  a  work.  In  the  evening 
1  preached  from  1  Thess.  4:8,  and  endeavored,  though 
with  tenderness,  to  undermine  false  religion.  The 
Lord  gave  me  some  assistance. 

Dec.  15. — "  Enjoyed  something  of  God  to-day,  both 
in  secret  and  social  prayer  ;  but  was  sensible  of  much 
barrenness  and  defect  in  duty,  as  well  as  my  inability  to 
help  myself  for  the  time  to  come,  or  to  perform  the 
work  and  business  I  have  to  do.  Afterward,  felt  much 
of  the  sweetness  of  religion,  and  the  tenderness  of  the 
gospel-temper.  I  found  a  dear  love  to  all  mankind, 
and  was  much  afraid  lest  some  motion  of  anger  or 
resentment  should,  from  time  to  time  creep  into  my 
heart.  Had  some  comforting,  soul-refreshing  discourse 
with  dear  friends,  just  as  we  took  our  leave  of  each 
other ;  and  supposed  it  might  be  we  should  not  meet 
again  till  we  came  to  the  eternal  world.*  I  doubt  not 
but,  through  grace,  some  of  us  shall  have  a  happy 

*  It  had  been  determined  by  the  Commissioners,  who  em- 
ployed Brainerd  as  a  missionary,  that  he  should  go,  as  soon  as 
might  be  conveniently,  to  the  Indians  living  near  the  Forks  of 
Delaware  river,  and  the  Indians  on  Susquehanna  river.  The 
distance  of  those  places,  and  his  probable  exposure  to  many 
hardships  and  dangers,  was  the  occasion  of  his  taking  leave 
of  his  friends  in  this  manner. 


56  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Ch&p.lV. 

meeting  there,  and  biess  God  for  this  season,  as  well  as 
many  others.    Amen. 

Dec.  18.  "  Spent  much  time  in  prayer  in  the  woods ; 
and  seemed  raised  above  the  things  of  the  world :  my 
soul  was  strong  in  the  Lord  of  Hosts  j  but  was  sensible 
of  great  barrenness. 

Dec.  23. — "  Enjoyed,  I  trust,  the  presence  of  God 
this  morning  in  secret.  O,  how  divinely  sweet  is  it 
to  come  into  the  secret  of  his  presence,  and  abide  in 
his  pavilion ! 

Dec.  27. — "Enjoyed  a  precious  season  indeed;  had 
a  melting  sense  of  divine  things,  of  the  pure  spirituality 
of  the  religion  of  Christ  Jesus.  In  the  evening  I 
preached  from  Matt.  6 : 33.  with  much  freedom,  power 
and  pungency:  the  presence  of  God  attended  our  meet- 
ing. O,  the  sweetness,  the  tenderness  I  felt  in  my 
soul !  If  ever  I  felt  the  temper  of  Christ,  I  had  some 
sense  of  it  now.  Blessed  be  my  God,  I  have  seldom 
enjoyed  a  more  comfortable  and  profitable  day  than 
this.  O,  that  I  could  spend  all  my  time  for  God ! 

Jan.  14,  1743. — "My  spiritual  conflicts  to-day  were 
unspeakably  dreadful,  heavier  than  the  mountains  and 
over-flowing  floods.  I  was  deprived  of  all  sense  of 
God,  even  of  the  being  of  a  God ;  and  that  was  my 
misery.  The  torments  of  the  damned,  I  am  sure,  will 
consist  much  in  a  privation  of  God,  and  consequently 
of  all  good.  This  taught  me  the  absolute  dependence 
of  a  creature  upon  God  the  Creator,  for  every  crumb 
of  happiness  it  enjoys.  O,  I  feel  that,  if  there  is  no 
God,  though  I  might  live  for  ever  here,  and  enjoy  nol 
only  this,  but  all  other  worlds,  I  should  be  ten  thousand 
times  more  miserable  than  a  reptile. 

Lord's  day,  Jan.  23. — "  I  scarce  ever  felt  myself  so 
unfit  to  exist  as  now :  saw  I  was  not  worthy  of  a  place 


1743.  j  WHILE   A   LICENTIATE.  57 

among  the  Indians,  where  I  am  going,  if  God  permit: 
thought  I  should  be  ashamed  to  look  them  in  the  face, 
and  much  more  to  have  any  respect  shown  me  there. 
Indeed  I  felt  myself  banished  from  the  earth,  as  if  all 
places  were  too  good  for  such  a  wretch.  I  thought  I 
should  be  ashamed  to  go  among  the  very  savages  of 
Africa;  I  appeared  to  myself  a  creature  fit  for  nothing, 
neither  heaven  nor  earth.  None  know  but  those  who 
feel  it,  what  the  soul  endures  that  is  sensibly  shut  out 
from  the  presence  of  God :  alas !  it  is  more  bitter  than 
death. 

Feb.  2. — "  Preached  my  farewell  sermon  last  night, 
at  the  house  of  an  aged  man,  who  had  been  unable  to 
attend  on  public  worship  for  some  time.  This  morn- 
ing spent  the  time  in  prayer,  almost  wherever  I  went ; 
and  having  takenleave  of  friends,  I  set  out  on  my  journey 
toward  the  Indians ;  though  I  was  first  to  spend  some 
weeks  at  East-Hampton,  on  Long-Island,  by  leave  of 
the  commissioners ;  the  winter  season  being  judged 
unfavorable  for  the  commencement  of  the  mission. 

Feb.  12. — [At  East-Hampton.]  "Enjoyed  a  little 
more  comfort ;  was  enabled  to  meditate  with  some  com- 
posure of  mind ;  and  especially  in  the  evening,  found 
my  soul  more  refreshed  in  prayer  than  at  any  time  of 
late ;  my  soul  seemed  to  "  take  hold  of  God 's  strength," 
and  was  comforted  with  his  consolations.  O,  how 
sweet  are  some  glimpses  of  divine  glory !  how  strength- 
ening and  quickening ! 

Feb.  15.  "  Early  in  the  day  I  felt  some  comfort , 
afterward  I  walked  into  a  neighboring  grove,  and  felt 
more  as  a  stranger  on  earth,  I  think,  than  ever  before; 
dead  to  any  of  the  enjoyments  of  the  world.  In  the 
evening  had  divine  sweetness  in  secret  duty :  God  was 
then  my  portion,  and  my  soul  rose  above  those  deep 


58  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [CllaP'  IV 

waters,  into  which  I  have  sunk  so  low  of  late.  My 
soul  then  cried  for  Zion,  and  had  sweetness  in  so  doing." 

Feb.  17. — "Preached  this  day  at  a  little  village  in 
East-Hampton;  and  God  was  pleased  to  give  me  his 
gracious  presence  and  assistance,  so  that  I  spake  with 
freedom,  boldness,  and  some  power.  In  the  evening 
spent  some  time  with  a  dear  Christian  friend  ;  and 
felt  serious,  as  on  the  brink  of  eternity.  Our  inter- 
view was  truly  a  little  emblem  of  heaven  itself.  I  find 
my  soul  is  more  refined  and  weaned  from  a  depen- 
dence on  my  frames  and  spiritual  feelings. 

Feb.  18. — "Had  some  enjoyment  most  of  the  day, 
and  found  access  to  the  throne  of  grace.  Blessed  be 
the  Lord  for  any  intervals  of  heavenly  delight  and 
composure,  while  I  am  engaged  in  the  field  of  battle. 
O,  that  I  might  be  serious,  solemn,  and  always  vigi- 
lant, while  in  an  evil  world!  Had  some  opportunity 
alone  to-day,  and  found  some  freedom  in  study.  O,  I 
long  to  live  to  God!" 

During  the  next  two  weeks  it  appears  that  for  the 
most  part  he  enjoyed  much  spiritual  peace  and  com- 
fort. In  his  diary  for  this  space  of  time,  are  expressed 
such  things  as  these;  mourning  over  indwelling  sin, 
unprofitableness;  deadness  to  the  world ;  longing  after 
God,  and  to  live  to  his  glory;  heart  melting  desires 
after  his  eternal  home ;  fixed  reliance  on  God  for  his 
help;  experience  of  much  divine  assistance,  both  in 
the  private  and  public  exercises  of  religion ;  inward 
strength  and  courage  in  the  service  of  God ;  very  fre- 
quent refreshment,  consolation,  and  divine  sweetness 
in  meditation,  prayer,  preaching,  and  Christian  conver- 
sation. And  it  appears  by  his  account,  that  this  space 
of  time  was  filled  up  with  great  diligence  and  earnest- 
ness in  serving  God ;  in  study,  prayer,  meditation, 
preachingi  and  privately  instructing  and  counseling. 


I743.J  WHILE   A   LICENTIATE.  59 

March  7. — "  This  morning  when  I  arose  I  found 
my  heart  go  forth  after  God  in  longing  desires  of  con- 
formity to  him,  and  in  secret  prayer  found  myself  sweet- 
ly quickened  and  drawn  out  in  praises  to  God  for  all 
he  had  done  to  and  for  me,  and  for  all  my  inward  trials 
and  distress  of  late.  My  heart  ascribed  glory,  glory, 
glory  to  the  blessed  God !  and  bid  welcome  to  all  in- 
ward distress  again,  if  God  saw  meet  to  exercise  me 
with  it.  Time  appeared  but  an  inch  long,  and  eternity 
at  hand ;  and  I  thought  I  could  with  patience  and 
cheerfulness  bear  any  thing  for  the  cause  of  God  ;  for 
I  saw  that  a  moment  would  bring  me  to  a  world  of 
peace  and  blessedness.  My  soul,  by  the  strength  of 
the  Lord,  rose  far  above  this  lower  world,  and  all  the 
vain  amusements  and  frightful  disappointments  of  it. 

Lord's  day,  March  13.  "At  noon,  I  thought  it  im- 
possible for  me  to  preach,  by  reason  of  bodily  weak- 
ness and  inward  deadness.  In  the  first  prayer,  I  was 
so  weak  that  I  could  scarcely  stand ;  but  in  the  sermon, 
God  strengthened  me,  so  that  I  spake  near  an  hour  and 
a  half  with  sweet  freedom,  clearness,  and  some  tender 
power,  from  Gen.  5 : 24.  "  And  Enoch  walked  with 
God."  I  was  sweetly  assisted  to  insist  on  a  close  walk 
with  God,  and  to  leave  this  as  my  parting  advice  to 
God's  people  here,  that  they  should  "  walk  with  God." 
May  the  God  of  all  grace  succeed  my  poor  labors  in 
this  place ! 

March  14.  "  In  the  morning  was  very  busy  in  pre- 
paration for  my  journey,  and  was  almost  continually 
engaged  in  ejaculatory  prayer.  About  ten  took  leave 
of  the  dear  people  of  East-Hampton ;  my  heart  grieved 
and  mourned,  and  rejoiced  at  the  same  time ;  rode  near 
fifty  miles  to  a  part  of  Brook-Haven,  and  lodged  there, 
and  had  refreshing  conversation  with  a  Christian 
friend." 


60  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IV 

In  two  days  more  he  reached  New- York ;  but  com- 
plains of  much  desertion  and  deadness  on  the  road. 
He  stayed  one  day  in  New-York,  and  on  Friday  went 
to  Mr.  Dickinson's  at  Elizabeth-Town. 

March.  19.  "  Was  bitterly  distressed  under  a  sense 
of  my  ignorance,  darkness,  and  un worthiness ;  got 
alone,  and  poured  out  my  complaint  to  God  in  the  bit- 
terness of  my  soul.  In  the  afternoon  rode  to  Newark, 
and  had  some  sweetness  in  conversation  and  prayer 
with  Mr.  Burr.  O  blessed  be  God  for  ever  and  ever,  for 
any  enlivening  and  quickening  seasons. 

Lord's  day,  March  20.  "  Preached  in  the  forenoon : 
God  gave  me  some  assistance,  and  enabled  me  to  speak 
with  real  tenderness,  love,  and  impartiality.  In  the 
evening  preached  again;  and  of  a  truth  God  was 
pleased  to  assist  a  poor  worm.  Blessed  be  God,  I  was 
enabled  to  speak  with  life,  power,  and  desire  of  the  edi- 
fication of  God's  people ;  and  with  some  power  to  sin- 
ners. In  the  evening  1  was  watchful,  lest  my  heart 
should  by  any  means  be  drawn  away  from  God.  O 
when  shall  I  come  to  that  blessed  world  where  every 
power  of  my  soul  will  be  incessantly  and  eternally 
wound  up  in  heavenly  employments  and  enjoyments, 
to  the  highest  degree !" 

On  Monday  he  went  to  Woodbridge,  New- Jersey, 
where  he  met  the  Correspondents,  who,  instead  of  send- 
ing him  to  the  Indians  at  the  Forks  of  the  Delaware, 
as  before  intended,  directed  him  to  go  to  a  number  oi 
Indians  at  Kaunaumeek ;  a  place  in  New- York,  in  the 
woods  between  Stockbridge  and  Albany.  This  alte- 
ration was  occasioned  by  two  things.  1.  Information 
which  the  correspondents  had  received  of  some  con- 
tention between  the  white  people  and  the  Indians  on 
the  Delaware,  concerning  their  lands ;  which  they  sup- 


1743.J  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  61 

posed  would  be  a  hinderance  to  the  success  of  a  mis- 
sionary among  them  at  that  time.  2.  Some  intimations 
which  they  had  received  from  Mr.  Sergeant,  Mission- 
ary to  the  Indians  at  Stockbridge,  concerning  the  In- 
dians at  Kaunaumeek,  and  the  hopeful  prospect  of  suc- 
cess which  a  Missionary  might  have  among  them. 

On  the  day  following  he  set  out  on  his  journey  for 
Kaunaumeek,  and  arrived  at  Mr.  Sergeant's  house  in 
Stockbridge  March  31. 


CHAPTER     V. 

His  labors  for  nearly  a  year  among  the  Indians  at  Kaunaumeek 
— temporal  deprivations  and  sufferings — establishes  a  school — 
confession  offered  to  the  faculty  of  Yale  College — days  of  fast- 
ing— methods  of  instructing  the  Indians — visit  to  New-Jer- 
sey and  Connecticut — commencement  of  labor  among  the  In- 
dians at  the  Forks  of  the  Delaware — Ordination. 

April  1,  1743.— June  12, 1744. 

April  1,  1743.  "  I  rode  to  Kaunaumeek,  in  the  wil- 
derness, near  twenty  miles  from  Stockbridge,  and  about 
an  equal  distance  from  Albany,  where  the  Indians  live 
with  whom  I  am  concerned  ;and  lodged  with  a  poor 
Scotchman,  about  a  mile  and  a  half  distant  from  them, 
on  a  little  heap  of  straw,  in  a  log  room  without  any 
floor.  I  was  greatly  exercised  with  inward  trials,  and 
seemed  to  have  no  God  to  go  to.  O  that  God  would 
help  me ! 

April  7.  "  Appeared  to  myself  exceedingly  ignorant, 
weak,  helpless,  unworthy,  and  altogether  unequal  to 
my  work.  It  seemed  to  me  that  I  should  never  do 
any  service,  or  have  any  success  among  the  Indians. 


62  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  |  Chap.   V 

My  soul  was  weary  of  my  life ;  I  longed  for  death,  be  • 
yond  measure.  When  I  thought  of  any  godly  soul  de- 
parted, my  soul  was  ready  to  envy  him  his  privilege, 
thinking,  "O  when  will  my  turn  come!  must  it  be 
years  first!"  But  I  know  these  ardent  desires,  at  this 
and  other  times,  rose  partly  from  the  want  of  resigna- 
tion to  God  under  all  miseries ;  and  so  were  but  impa- 
tience. Toward  night  I  had  the  exercise  of  faith  in 
prayer,  and  some  assistance  in  writing.  O  that  God 
would  keep  me  near  him ! 

Lord's  day,  April  10.  "Rose  early  in  the  morning 
and  walked  out  and  spent  a  considerable  time  in  the 
woods,  in  prayer  and  meditation.  Preached  to  the  In- 
dians, both  forenoon  and  afternoon.  They  behaved 
soberly  in  general :  two  or  three  in  particular  appeared 
to  be  under  some  religious  concern ;  with  whom  I  dis- 
coursed privately ;  and  one  told  me,  "  that  her  heart 
had  cried  ever  since  she  first  heard  me  preach." 

April  16. — "  In  the  afternoon  preached  to  my  people ; 
but  was  more  discouraged  with  them  than  before ; 
feared  that  nothing  would  ever  be  done  for  them  to 
any  happy  effect.  I  retired  and  poured  out  my  soul 
to  God  for  mercy;  but  without  any  sensible  relief. 
Soon  after,  two  ungodly  men  came,  with  a  design,  as 
they  said,  to  hear  me  preach  the  next  day  ;  but  none 
can  tell  how  I  felt  to  hear  their  profane  talk.  O,  I 
longed  that  some  dear  Christian  should  know  my  dis- 
tress. I  got  into  a  kind  of  hovel,  and  there  groaned 
out  my  complaint  to  God  ;  and  withal  felt  more  sensi- 
ble gratitude  and  thankfulness  to  God,  that  he  had 
made  me  to  differ  from  these  men,  as  I  knew,  through 
grace,  he  had. 

Lord's  day,  April  17. — "  In  the  morning  was  again 
distressed  as  soon  as  I  awaked,  hearing  much  talk 


1743.J  AT   KAUNAOMEEK.  63 

about  the  world,  and  the  things  of  it.  I  perceived  that 
the  men  were  in  some  measure  afraid  of  me;  and  I 
discoursed  about  sanctifying  the  Sabbath,  if  possible 
to  solemnize  their  minds ;  but  when  they  were  at  a 
little  distance,  they  again  talked  freely  about  secular 
affairs.  O  I  thought  what  a  hell  it  would  be  to  live  with 
such  men  to  eternity  !  The  Lord  gave  me  some  assist- 
ance in  preaching,  all  day,  and  some  resignation,  and 
a  small  degree  of  comfort  in  prayer,  at  night. 

April  19. — "  In  the  morning  I  enjoyed  some  sweet 
repose  and  rest  in  God ;  felt  some  strength  and  confi- 
dence in  him ;  and  my  soul  was  in  some  measure  re- 
freshed and  comforted.  Spent  most  of  the  day  in 
writing,  and  had  some  exercise  of  grace,  sensible  and 
comfortable.  My  soul  seemed  lifted  above  the  deep 
waters,  wherein  it  has  long  been  almost  drowned  ;  felt 
some  spiritual  longings  and  breathings  after  God  ;  and 
found  myself  engaged  for  the  advancement  of  Christ's 
kingdom  in  my  own  soul. 

April  20. — "  Set  apart  this  day  for  fasting  and 
prayer,  to  bow  my  soul  before  God  for  the  bestowment 
of  divine  grace  ;  especially  that  all  my  spiritual  afflic- 
tions, and  inward  distresses,  might  be  sanctified  to  my 
soul.  And  endeavored  also  to  remember  the  goodness 
of  God  to  me  the  year  past,- this  day  being  my  birth 
day.  Having  obtained  help  of  God,  I  have  hitherto 
lived,  and  am  now  arrived  at  the  age  of  twenty-five 
years.  My  soul  was  pained  to  think  of  my  barrenness 
and  deadness  ;  that  I  have  lived  so  little  to  the  glory 
of  the  eternal  God.  I  spent  the  day  in  the  woods 
alone,  and  there  poured  out  my  complaint  to  God.  O 
that  God  would  enable  me  to  live  to  his  glory  for  the 
future ! 

May  10. — "  Was  in  the  same  state  as  to  my  mind, 


64  LIFE    OF    BKALNCRD.  LCUap.  V 


that  I  have  been  in  for  some  time  ;  extremely  op- 
pressed with  a  sense  of  guilt,  pollution,  and  blindness, 
"The  iniquity  of  my  heels  hath  compassed  me  about: 
the  sins  of  my  youth  have  been  set  in  order  before 
me  ;  they  have  gone  over  my  head,  as  an  heavy  bur- 
den, too  heavy  for  me  to  bear."  Almost  all  the  actions 
of  my  life  past  seem  to  be  covered  over  with  sin  and 
guilt  ;  and  those  of  them  that  I  performed  in  the  most 
conscientious  manner,  now  fill  me  with  shame  and 
confusion,  that  I  cannot  hold  up  my  face.  O,  the  pride, 
selfishness,  hypocrisy,  ignorance,  bitterness,  party 
zeal,  and  the  want  of  love,  candor,  meekness,  and 
gentleness,  that  have  attended  my  attempts  to  promote 
the  interests  of  religion  ;  and  this,  when  I  have  reason 
to  hope  I  had  real  assistance  from  above,  and  some 
sweet  intercourse  with  heaven  !  But  alas,  what  cor- 
rupt mixtures  attended  my  best  duties  !" 

May  18.  —  "  My  circumstances  are  such  that  I  have 
no  comfort  of  any  kind,  but  what  I  have  in  God.  I 
live  in  the  most  lonesome  wilderness  ;  have  but  one 
single  person  to  converse  with  that  can  speak  Eng- 
lish.* Most  of  the  talk  I  hear,  is  either  Highland 
Scotch,  or  Indian.  I  have  no  fellow-christian  to  whom 
I  may  unbosom  myself,  or  lay  open  my  spiritual  sor- 
rows ;  with  whom  I  may  take  sweet  counsel  in  con- 
versation about  heavenly  things,  and  join  in  social 
prayer.  I  live  poorly  with  regard  to  the  comforts  of 

*  This  person  was  BRAINERD'S  interpreter,  an  ingenious 
young  Indian,  belonging  to  Stockbridge,  whose  name  was  John 
Wauwaumpequunnaunt.  He  had  been  instructed  in  the  Chris- 
tian religion  by  Mr.  Sergeant  ;  had  lived  with  the  Rev.  Mr. 
Williams,  of  Long-Meadow  ;  had  been  further  instructed  by 
him,  at  the  charge  of  Mr.  Hollis,  of  London  ;  and  understood 
both  English  and  Indian  very  well,  and  wrote  a  good  hand. 


1743.J  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  65 

life :  most  of  my  diet  consists  of  boiled  corn,  hasty- 
pudding,  &c.  I  lodge  on  a  bundle  of  straw,  my  labor 
is  hard  and  extremely  difficult,  and  I  have  little  ap- 
pearance of  success  to  comfort  me.  The  Indians  have 
no  land  to  live  on  but  what  the  Dutch  people  lay  claim 
to ;  and  these  threaten  to  drive  them  off.  They  have 
no  regard  to  the  souls  of  the  poor  Indians ;  and  by 
what  I  can  learn,  they  hate  me  because  I  come  to 
preach  to  them.  But  that  which  makes  all  my  diffi- 
culties grievous  to  be  borne,  is,  that  God  hides  his  face 
from  me. 

May  20. — "  Was  much  perplexed  some  part  of  the 
day ;  but  toward  night  had  some  comfortable  medi- 
tations on  Isa.  40  :  1.  "  Comfort  ye,  comfort  ye  my 
people,  saith  your  God,"  and  enjoyed  some  sweetness 
in  prayer.  Afterward  my  soul  rose  so  far  above  the 
deep  waters,  that  I  dared  to  rejoice  in  God.  I  saw  that 
there  was  sufficient  matter  of  consolation  in  the  blessed 
God." 

On  Monday,  May  30,  he  set  out  on  a  journey  to 
New-Jersey  to  consult  the  commissioners,  and  ob'tain 
orders  from  them  to  set  up  a  school  among  the  Indians 
at  Kaunaumeek,  and  that  his  interpreter  might  be 
appointed  the  schoolmaster ;  which  was  according- 
ly done.  He  proceeded  from  New-Jersey  to  New- 
Haven,  where  he  arrived  on  Monday,  June  6;  at- 
tempted a  reconciliation  with  the  faculty  of  the  col- 
lege ;  and  spent  this  week  in  visiting  his  friends  in 
those  parts,  and  in  his  journey  homeward,  till  Satur- 
day, in  a  pretty  comfortable  frame  of  mind.  On  Satur- 
day, in  his  way  from  Stockbridge  to  Kaunaumeek,  he 
was  lost  in  the  woods,-end  lay  all  night  in  the  open  air ; 
but  happily  found  his  way  in  the  morning,  and  came 
to  his  Indians  on  Lord's  day,  June  12,  and  had  greater 

Rrainerd.  5 


66  LIFE   OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.   V 

assistance  in  preaching  among  them  than  ever  before, 
since  his  first  coming  among  them. 

From  this  time  forward  he  was  the  subject  of  various 
frames  and  exercises  of  mind,  in  the  general  much 
after  the  same  manner  as  hitherto  from  his  first  com- 
ing to  Kaunaumeek,  till  he  got  into  his  own  house,  (a 
little  hut,  which  he  made  chiefly  with  his  own  hands, 
by  long  and  hard  labor.)  He  found  that  the  distance 
of  the  family  with  whom  he  at  first  lodged,  debarred 
him  from  many  favorable  opportunities  of  access  to 
the  Indians,  especially  morning  and  evening ;  and  after 
about  three  months,  removed  and  lived  with  the  In- 
dians in  one  of  their  wigwams.  Here  he  continued  for 
about  one  month,  when  he  completed  the  small  house 
of  which  he  now  speaks. 

Although  he  was  much  dejected  during  most  of  this 
period,  yet  he  had  many  intermissions  of  his  melan- 
choly, and  some  seasons  of  comfort,  sweet  tranquillity 
and  resignation  of  mind,  and  frequently  special  assist- 
ance in  public  services,  as  appears  in  his  diary.  The 
manner  of  his  relief  from  his  sorrow,  once  in  particu- 
lar, is  worthy  to  be  mentioned  in  his  own  words. 

July  25. — "  Had  little  or  no  resolution  for  a  life  o£ 
holiness;  was  ready  almost  to  renounce  my  hope  oi 
living  to  God.  And  O  how  dark  it  looked,  to  think  of 
being  unholy  for  ever !  This  I  could  not  endure.  The 
cry  of  my  soul  was,  Psalm  65  :  3.  "  Iniquities  prevail 
against  me."  But  I  was  in  some  measure  relieved  by 
a  comfortable  meditation  on  God's  eternity,  that  he 
never  had  a  beginning.  Whence  I  was  led  to  admire 
his  greatness  and  power,  in  such  a  manner,  that  I  stood 
still,  and  praised  the  Lord  for  his  own  glories  and  per- 
fections :  though  I  was  (and  if  I  should  for  ever  be) 
an  unholy  creature,  my  soul  was  comforted  to  appre- 
hend an  eternal,  infinite,  powerful,  holy  God." 


1743. J  AT    KAUNAUMEEK.  67 

Jidy  30. — "Just  at  night,  moved  into  my  own  house^ 
and  lodged  there  that  night ;  found  it  much  better 
spending  the  time  alone  than  in  the  wigwam  where  I 
was  before. 

Lord's  day,  July  31. — "Felt  more  comfortably  than 
some  days  past.  Blessed  be  the  Lord,  who  has  now 
given  me  a  place  of  retirement.  O  that  I  mayjind  God 
in  it,  and  that  he  would  dwell  with  me  for  ever ! 

Aug.  1. — "Was  still  busy  in  further  labors  on  my 
house.  Felt  a  little  sweetness  of  religion,  and  thought 
that  it  was  worth  while  to  follow  after  God  through  a 
thousand  snares,  deserts,  and  death  itself.  O  that  I 
might  always  follow  after  holiness,  thai  I  may  be  fully 
conformed  to  God !  Had  some  degree  of  sweetness  in 
secret  prayer,  though  I  had  much  sorrow. 

Aug.  3. — "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing.  En- 
joyed some  sense  of  religion.  Through  divine  good- 
ness I  am  now  uninterruptedly  alone,  and  find  my 
retirement  comfortable.  I  have  enjoyed  more  sense  of 
divine  things  within  a  few  days  last  past  than  for  some 
time  before.  I  longed  after  holiness,  humility,  and 
meekness:  O  that  God  would  enable  me  to  'pass  the 
time  of  my  sojourning  here  in  his  fear,'  and  always 
live  to  him  ! 

Aug.  4. — "  Was  enabled  to  pray  much  through  the 
whole  day;  and  through  divine  goodness  found  some 
intenseness  of  soul  in  the  duty,  as  I  used  to  do,  and 
some  ability  to  persevere  in  my  supplications.  I  had 
some  apprehensions  of  divine  things,  which  afforded 
me  courage  and  resolution.  It  is  good,  I  find,  to  per- 
severe in  attempts  to  pray,  if  I  cannot  pray  with  perse- 
verance, i.  e.  continue  long  in  my  addresses  to  the 
Divine  Reing.  I  have  generally  found  that  the  more  1 
Jo  in  secret  prayer,  the  more  I  have  delighted  to  do, 


68  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  I  Chup     V 

and  the  more  I  have  enjoyed  a  spirit  of  prayer  ;  and 
frequently  I  have  found  the  contrary,  when  by  jour- 
neying or  otherwise  I  have  been  much  deprived  of  re- 
tirement. A  seasonable,  steady  performance  of  SECRET 

DUTIES  IN  THEIR  PROPER  HOURS,  and  a  CAREFUL  IMPROVE- 
MENT OF  ALL  TIME,  filling  up  every  hour  with  some 
profitable  labor,  either  of  heart,  head,  or  hands,  are  ex- 
cellent means  of  spiritual  peace  and  boldness  before 
God.  Filling  up  our  time  with  and  for  God,  is  the  way 
to  rise  up  and  lie  down  in  peace. 

Aug.  13. — "  Was  enabled  in  secret  prayer  to  raise 
my  soul  to  God,  with  desire  and  delight.  It  was  indeed 
a  blessed  season.  I  found  the  comfort  of  being  a 
Christian ;  and  "  counted  the  sufferings  of  the  present 
life  not  worthy  to  be  compared  with  the  glory  "  of  divine 
enjoyments  even  in  this  world.  All  my  past  sorrows 
seemed  kindly  to  disappear,  and  I  "  remembered  no 
more  the  sorrow,  for  joy."  O,  how  kindly,  and  with 
what  a  filial  tenderness,  the  soul  confides  in  "  the  Rock 
of  Ages,"  at  such  a  season,  that  he  will  "  never  leave  it 
nor  forsake  it,"  that  he  will  cause  "  all  things  to  work 
together  for  its  good !"  I  longed  that  others  should 
know  how  good  a  God  the  Lord  is.  My  soul  was  full 
of  tenderness  and  love,  even  to  the  most  inveterate  of 
my  enemies.  I  longed  that  they  should  share  in  the 
same  mercy;  and  loved  that  God  should  so  do  just  as 
he  pleased  with  me  and  every  thing  else.  I  felt  pecu- 
liarly serious,  calm,  and  peaceful,  and  encouragement 
to  press  after  holiness  as  long  as  I  live,  whatever  diffi- 
culties and  trials  may  be  in  my  way.  May  the  Lord 
always  help  me  so  to  do !  Amen,  and  Amen. 

Aug.  15. — "Spent  most  of  the  day  in  labor,  to  pro- 
cure something  to  keep  my  horse  on  in  the  winter. 
Had  not  much  spiritual  enjoyment  in  the  morning ; 


1743.]  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  69 

was  very  weak  in  body  through  the  day;  and  thought 
that  this  frail  body  would  soon  drop  into  the  dust ;  and 
had  some  very  realizing  apprehensions  of  a  speedy 
entrance  into  another  world.  In  this  weak  state  of 
body,  I  was  not  a  little  distressed  for  want  of  suitable 
food.  I  had  no  bread,  nor  could  I  get  any.  I  am  forced 
to  go  or  send  ten  or  fifteen  miles  for  all  the  bread  I  eat ; 
and  sometimes  it  is  mouldy  and  sour  before  I  eat  it,  if 
I  get  any  considerable  quantity.  And  then  again  1 
have  none  for  some  days  together,  for  want  of  an  op- 
portunity to  send  for  it,  and  cannot  find  my  horse  in  the 
woods  to  go  myself;  and  this  was  my  case  now;  but 
through  divine  goodness  I  had  some  Indian  meal,  of 
which  I  made  cakes,  and  fried  them.  Yet  I  felt  con- 
tented with  my  circumstances,  and  sweetly  resigned  to 
God.  In  prayer  I  enjoyed  great  freedom  ;  and  blessed 
God  as  much  for  my  present  circumstances  as  if  I  had 
been  a  king;  and  thought  that  I  found  a  disposition  to 
be  contented  in  any  circumstances.  Blessed  be  God." 

In  his  diary  for  Saturday,  he  says  he  was  somewhat 
melancholy  and  sorrowful  in  mind;  and  adds,  "I 
never  feel  comfortably,  but  when  I  find  my  soul  going 
forth  after  God.  If  I  cannot  be  holy,  I  must  necessa 
rily  be  miserable  for  ever. 

Lord's  day,  Aug.  21.— "Was  much  straitened  in  the 
forenoon  exercise ;  my  thoughts  seemed  to  be  all  scat- 
tered to  the  ends  of  the  earth.  At  noon,  I  fell  down  be- 
fore the  Lord,  groaned  under  my  vileness,  barrenness, 
and  deadness  ;  and  felt  as  if  I  was  guilty  of  soul  mur- 
der, in  speaking  to  immortal  souls  in  such  a  manner  as 
I  had  then  done.  In  the  afternoon  God  was  pleased 
•  to  give  me  some  assistance,  and  I  was  enabled  to  set 
before  my  hearers  the  nature  and  necessity  of  true  re- 
pentance. Afterward  had  some  sma.l  degree  of  thank- 


70  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  V 

fulness.    Was  very  ill  and  full  of  pain  in  the  evening 
and  my  soul  mourned  that  I  had  spent  so  much  time 
to  so  little  profit. 

Aug.  23. — "Studied  in  the  forenoon,  and  enjoyed 
some  freedom.  In  the  afternoon  labored  abroad :  en- 
deavored to  pray,  but  found  not  much  enjoyment  or 
intenseness  of  mind.  Toward  night  was  very  weary, 
and  tired  of  this  world  of  sorrow :  the  thoughts  of 
death  and  immortality  appeared  very  desirable,  and 
even  refreshed  my  soul.  Those  lines  turned  in  my 
mind  with  pleasure, 

"  Come  death,  shake  hands  ;  I'll  kiss  thy  bands ; 
"'Tis  happiness  for  me  to  die. — 
"  What !— dost  thou  think  that  I  will  shrink? 
"  I'll  go  to  immortality." 

"  In  evening  prayer,  God  was  pleased  to  draw  near  my 
soul,  though  very  sinful  and  unworthy ;  so  that  I  was 
enabled  to  wrestle  with  God,  and  to  persevere  in  my 
requests  for  grace.  I  poured  out  my  soul  for  all  the 
world,  friends  and  enemies.  My  soul  was  concerned, 
not  so  much  for  souls  as  such,  but  rather  for  Christ's 
kingdom,  that  it  might  appear  in  the  world,  that  God 
might  be  known  to  be  God,  in  the  whole  earth.  And 
O  my  soul  abhorred  the  very  thought  of  a  party  in  re 
ligion!  Let  the  truth  of  God  appear,  wherever  it  is; 
and  God  have  glory  for  ever.  Amen.  This  was  indeed 
a  comfortable  season.  I  thought  I  had  some  foretaste 
of  the  enjoyments  and  employments  of  the  upper 
world.  O  that  my  soul  was  more  attempered  to  it ! 
Aug.  31. — [On  a  journey  to  New- York.]  "Was  in 
a  sweet,  serious,  and  I  hope,  Christian  frame.  Eternal 
things  engrossed  all  my  thoughts ;  and  I  longed  to  be 
in  the  world  of  spirits.  O  how  happy  is  it  to  have 


1743.J  AT   KAUNADMEEK.  71 

all  our  thoughts  swallowed  up  in  that  world :  to  feel 
one's  self  a  stranger  in  this  world,  diligently  seeking 
a  road  through  it,  the  best,  the  sure  road  to  the  hea- 
venly Jerusalem !" 

He  went  forward  on  his  journey,  and  after  tarrying 
two  or  three  days  at  New-York,  set  out  from  that  city 
toward  New-Haven,  intending  to  be  there  at  the  com- 
mencement. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  11.—"  [At  Horse-Neck.]  In  the 
afternoon  I  preached  from  Titus,  3:8.  I  think  God 
never  helped  me  more  in  painting  true  religion,  and 
in  detecting  clearly,  and  tenderly  discountenancing 
false  appearances  of  religion,  wild  fire,  party  zeal,  spi- 
ritual pride,  &c.  as  well  as  a  confident  dogmatical  spirit, 
and  its  spring,  viz.  ignorance  of  the  lieart.  In  the  even- 
ing took  much  pains  in  private  conversation  to  sup- 
press some  confusions  which  I  perceived  were  among 
that  people. 

Sept.  13. — "  Rode  to  New-Haven.  Was  sometimes 
dejected  ;  not  in  the  sweetest  frame.  Lodged  at  ****, 
Had  some  profitable  Christian  conversation.  I  find, 
though  my  inward  trials  were  great,  and  a  life  of  soli- 
tude gives  them  greater  advantage  to  settle,  and  pene- 
trate to  the  very  inmost  recesses  of  the  soul ;  yet  it  is 
better  to  be  alone  than  incumbered  with  noise  and  tu- 
mult. I  find  it  very  difficult  maintaining  any  sense  of 
divine  things  while  removing  from  place  to  place  di- 
verted with  new  objects,  and  filled  with  care  and  busi- 
ness. A  settled  steady  business  is  best  adapted  to  a  life 
of  strict  religion. 

Sept.  14. — "  This  day  I  ought  to  have  taken  my  de- 
gree ;  but  God  sees  fit  to  deny  it  me.  And  though  I 
was  greatly  afraid  of  being  overwhelmed  with  per- 
plexity and  confusion,  when  I  should  see  ray  class- 


72  UFE   OP   BRAINERD,  [Chap.  V 

mates  take  theirs ;  yet,  at  the  very  lime,  God  enabled 
me  with  calmness  and  resignation  to  say,  "  the  will  ol 
the  Lord  be  done."  Indeed,  through  divine  goodness, 
I  have  scarcely  felt  my  mind  so  calm,  sedate,  and  com- 
fortable for  some  time.  I  have  long  feared  this  season, 
and  expected  my  humility,  meekness,  patience  and  re- 
signation would  be  much  tried;  but  found  much  more 
pleasure  and  divine  comfort  than  I  expected.  Felt 
spiritually  serious,  tender  and  affectionate  in  private 
prayer  with  a  dear  Christian  friend  to-day. 

Sept.  15. — "  Had  some  satisfaction  in  hearing  the 
ministers  discourse.  It  is  always  a  comfort  to  me  to 
hear  religious  and  spiritual  conversation.  O  that  mi- 
nisters and  people  were  more  spiritual  and  devoted  to 
God !  Toward  night,  with  the  advice  of  Christian 
friends,  I  offered  the  following  reflections  in  writing, 
to  the  rector  and  trustees  of  the  college — which  are  foi 
substance  the  same  that  I  had  freely  offered  to  the 
rector  before,  and  intreated  him  to  accept — that  if  pos- 
sible I  might  cut  off  all  occasion  of  offence  from  those 
who  seek  occasion.  What  I  offered,  is  as  follows : 

"  '  Whereas  I  have  said  before  several  persons,  concern- 
ing Mr.  Whittelsey,  one  of  the  tutors  of  Yale  College,  that  1 
did  not  believe  he  had  any  more  grace  than  the  chair  I  then 
leaned  upon ;  I  humbly  confess,  that  herein  1  have  sinned 
against  God,  and  acted  contrary  to  the  rules  of  his  word,  and 
have  injured  Mr.  Whittelsey.  I  had  no  right  to  make  thus 
free  with  his  character ;  and  had  no  just  reason  to  say  as  I  did 
concerning  him.  My  fault  herein  was  the  more  aggravated, 
in  that  I  said  this  concerning  one  who  was  so  much  my  supe- 
rior, and  one  whom  I  was  obliged  to  treat  with  special  respect 
and  honor,  by  reason  of  the  relation  I  stood  in  to  him  in  the 
college.  Such  a  manner  of  behavior  I  confess  did  not  be- 
come a  Christian;  it  was  taking  too  much  upon  me,  and  did 
not  savor  of  that  humble  respect  which  I  ought  to  have  ex- 


1743.J  AT  NEW-HAVEN.  73. 

pressed  toward  Mr.  Whittelsey.  I  have  long  since  been  con- 
vinced of  the  falseness  of  those  appreh-ensions,  by  which  I 
then  justified  such  a  conduct.  I  have  often  reflected  on  this 
act  with  grief;  I  hope,  on  account  of  the  sin  of  it:  and  am 
willing  to  lie  low,  and  be  abased  before  God  and  man  for  it. 
I  humbly  ask  the  forgiveness  of  the  governors  of  the  college 
and  of  the  whole  society ;  but  of  Mr.  Whittelsey  in  particular. 
And  whereas  1  have  been  accused  by  one  person  of  saying 
concerning  the  reverend  rector  of  Yale  College,  that  I  won- 
dered he  did  not  expect  to  drop  down  dead  for  fining  the 
scholars  that  followed  Mr.  Tennent  to  Milford ;  I  seriously 
profess  that  I  do  not  remember  my  saying  any  thing  to  this 
purpose :  but  if  I  did,  which  I  am  not  certain  I  did  not,  I 
utterly  condemn  it,  and  detest  all  such  kind  of  behavior;  and 
especially  in  an  under-graduate  toward  the  rector.  And  I 
now  appear  to  judge  and  condemn  myself  for  going  once  to 
Hie  separate  meeting  in  New-Haven,  a  little  before  I  was  ex- 
pelled, though  the  rector  had  refused  to  give  me  leave.  For 
this  I  humbly  ask  the  rector's  forgiveness.  And  whether  the 
governors  of  the  college  shall  ever  see  cause  to  remove  the 
academical  censure  I  lie  under,  or  no,  or  to  admit  me  to  the 
privileges  I  desire;  yet  I  am  willing  to  appear,  if  they  think 
fit,  openly  to  own,  and  to  humble  myself  for  those  things  I 
have  herein  confessed.'  " 

"  God  has  made  me  willing  to  do  any  thing  that  I 
can  do  consistently  with  truth,  for  the  sake  of  peace, 
and  that  I  might  not  be  a  stumbling  block  to  others. 
For  this  reason  I  can  cheerfully  forego  and  give  up 
what  I  verily  believe,  after  the  most  mature  and  im- 
partial search,  is  my  right,  in  some  instances.  God 
has  given  me  the  disposition,  that,  if  a  man  has  done 
me  a  hundred  injuries,  and  I  (though  ever  so  much 
provoked  to  it)  have  done  him  only  one,  I  feel  disposed 
and  heartily  willing  humbly  to  confess  my  fault  to  him, 
and  on  my  knees  to  ask  forgiveness  of  him ;  though  at 
the  same  time  he  should  justify  himself  in  all  the  in- 


•  74  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  V 

juries  he  has  done  me,  and  should  only  make  use  ol 
my  humble  confession  to  blacken  my  character  the 
more,  and  represent  me  as  the  only  person  guilty ;  yea, 
though  he  should  as  it  were  insult  me,  and  say,  "  he 
knew  all  this  before,  and  that  I  was  making  work  for 
repentance."  Though  what  I  said  concerning  Mr. 
Whittelsey  was  only  spoken  in  private,  to  a  friend  or 
two ;  and  being  partly  overheard,  was  related  to  the 
rector,  and  by  him  extorted  from  my  friends ;  yet,  see- 
ing it  was  divulged  and  made  public,  I  was  willing  to 
confess  my  fault  therein  publicly.  But  I  trust  God 
will  plead  my  cause." 

I  was  witness  to  the  very  Christian  spirit  which 
Brainerd  showed  at  that  time ;  being  then  at  New- 
Haven,  and  one  whom  he  thought  fit  to  consult  on 
that  occasion.  This  was  my  first  opportunity  of  a  per- 
sonal acquaintance  with  him.  There  truly  appeared 
in  him  a  great  degree  of  calmness  and  humility,  with- 
out the  least  appearance  of  rising  of  spirit  for  any  ill 
treatment  which  he  supposed  he  had  suffered,  or  the 
least  backwardness  to  abase  himself  before  them  who, 
as  he  thought,  had  wronged  him.  What  he  did  was 
without  any  objection  or  appearance  of  reluctance, 
even  in  private  to  his  friends,  to  whom  he  freely  open- 
ed himself.  Earnest  application  was  made  on  his  be- 
half to  the  authority  of  the  college,  that  he  might  have 
his  degree  then  given  him ;  and  particularly  by  the 
Rev.  Mr.  Burr  of  Newark,  one  of  the  correspondents 
of  the  society  in  Scotland  ;  he  being  sent  from  New- 
Jersey  to  New-Haven,  by  the  rest  of  the  commissioners, 
for  that  end ;  and  many  arguments  were  used,  but  with- 
out success.  Indeed,  the  governors  of  the  college  were 
so  far  satisfied  with  the  reflections  which  Brainerd 
had  made  on  himself,  that  they  appeared  willing  to 


1743.)  AT   BETHLEHEM.  75 

admit  him  again  into  college ;  but  not  to  give  him  his 
degree,  till  he  should  have  remained  there  at  least 
twelve  months,  which  being  contrary  to  what  the  cor- 
respondents, to  whom  he  was  now  engaged,  had  de- 
clared to  be  their  mind,  he  did  not  consent  to  it.  He 
desired  his  degree,  as  he  thought  it  would  tend  to  his 
being  more  extensively  useful ;  but  still  when  he  was 
denied  it,  he  manifested  no  disappointment  or  resent- 
ment. 

Sept.  20.—"  [At  Bethlehem.]  Had  thoughts  of  go- 
ing forward  on  my  journey  to  my  Indians ;  but  toward 
night  was  taken  with  a  hard  pain  in  my  teeth,  and 
shivering  cold ;  and  could  not  possibly  recover  a  com- 
fortable degree  of  warmth  the  whole  night  following 
I  continued  very  full  of  pain  all  night;  and  in  the  morn- 
ing had  a  very  hard  fever,  and  pains  almost  over  my 
whole  body.  I  had  a  sense  of  the  divine  goodness  in 
appointing  this  to  be  the  place  of  my  sickness,  among 
my  friends,  who  were  very  kind  to  me.  I  should  proba- 
bly have  perished  if  I  had  first  got  home  to  my  own 
house  in  the  wilderness,  where  I  have  none  to  converse 
with  but  the  poor,  rude,  ignorant  Indians.  Here,  I 
saw,  was  mercy  in  the  midst  of  affliction.  I  continued 
thus,  mostly  confined  to  my  bed,  till  Friday  night ; 
very  full  of  pain  most  of  the  time ;  but,  through  divine 
goodness,  not  afraid  of  death.  Then  I  saw  the  extreme 
folly  of  those  who  put  off  their  turning  to  God  till  a 
sick  bed.  Surely  this  is  not  a  time  proper  to  prepare 
for  eternity.  On  Friday  evening  my  pains  went  off 
somewhat  suddenly.  I  was  exceedingly  weak,  and  al- 
most fainted ;  but  was  very  comfortable  the  night  fol- 
lowing. I  thought  we  were  to  prize  the  continua- 
tion of  life,  only  on  this  account,  that  we  may  "show 
forth  God's  goodness  and  works  of  grace." 


76  LIFE   OF   BKAINEHD 

Oct.  4. — "  This  day  rode  home  to  my  own  house  and 
people.  The  poor  Indians  appeared  very  glad  of  m> 
return.  Found  my  house  and  all  things  in  safety,  j 
presently  fell  on  my  knees,  and  blessed  God  for  my 
safe  return.  I  have  taken  many  considerable  jonrnies 
since  this  time  last  year,  and  yet  God  has  never  suffered 
one  of  my  bones  to  be  broken,  or  any  distressing  ca- 
lamity to  befal  me,  excepting  the  ill  turn  I  had  m  my 
last  journey.  I  have  been  often  exposed  to  cold  and 
hunger  in  the  wilderness,  where  the  comforts  of  life 
were  not  to  be  had ;  have  frequently  been  lost  in  the 
woods;  and  sometimes  obliged  to  ride  much  of  the 
night ;  and  once  lay  out  in  the  woods  all  night ;  yet 
blessed  be  God,  he  has  preserved  me ! 

Nov.  3. — "  Spent  this  day  in  secret  fasting  and 
prayer,  from  morning  till  night.  Early  in  the  morning 
I  had  some  small  degree  of  assistance  in  prayer.  Af- 
terward read  the  story  of  Elijah  the  prophet,  1  Kings, 
17th,  18th,  and  19th  chapters ;  and  also  2  Kings,  2d, 
and  4th  chapters.  My  soul  was  much  moved,  observ- 
ing the  faith,  zeal,  and  power  of  that  holy  man ; 
how  he  wrestled  with  God  in  prayer,  &c.  My  soul 
then  cried  with  Elisha,  "Where  is  the  Lord  God  oi 
Elijah !"  O  I  longed  for  more  faith !  My  soul  breathed 
after  God,  and  pleaded  with  him,  that  a  "  double  por- 
tion of  that  spirit"  which  was  given  to  Elijah,  might 
"  rest  on  me."  And  that  which  was  divinely  refresh- 
ing and  strengthening  to  my  soul,  was,  I  saw  that  God 
is  the  same  that  he  was  in  the  days  of  Elijah.  Was 
enabled  to  wrestle  with  God  by  prayer,  in  a  more  af- 
fectionate, fervent,  humble,  intense,  and  importunate 
manner,  than  I  have  for  many  months  past.  Nothing 
seemed  too  hard  for  God  to  perform ;  nothing  too 
great  for  me  to  hope  for  from  him.  I  had  for  many 


1743.|  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  77 

months  entirely  lost  all  hope  of  being  made  instru- 
mental of  doing  any  special  service  for  God  in  the 
world  ;  it  has  appeared  entirely  impossible,  that  one  so 
vile  should  be  thus  employed  for  God.  But  at  this 
time  God  was  pleased  to  revive  this  hope.  Afterward 
read  from  the  3d  chapter  of  Exodus  to  the  20th, 
and  saw  more  of  the  glory  and  majesty  of  God 
discovered  in  those  chapters  than  ever  I  had  seen  be- 
fore ;  frequently  in  the  mean  time  falling  on  my  knees 
and  crying  to  God  for  the  faith  of  Moses,  and  for  a 
manifestation  of  the  divine  glory.  Especially  the 
3d,  4th,  and  part  of  the  14thand  15th  chapters  were  un- 
speakably sweet  to  my  soul :  my  soul  blessed  God  that 
he  had  shown  himself  so  gracious  to  his  servants  of 
old.  The  15th  chapter  seemed  to  be  the  very  language 
which  my  soul  uttered  to  God  in  the  season  of  my  first 
spiritual  comfort,  when  I  had  just  got  through  the  Red 
<Sfea,  by  a  way  that  I  had  no  expectation  of.  O  how 
my  soul  then  rejoiced  in  God!  And  now  those  things 
came  fresh  and  lively  to  my  mind ;  now  my  soul 
blessed  God  afresh  that  he  had  opened  that  unthought 
of  way  to  deliver  me  from  the  fear  of  the  Egyp- 
tians, when  I  almost  despaired  of  life.  Afterward 
read  the  story  of  Abraham's  pilgrimage  in  the  land  of 
Canaan.  My  soul  was  melted,  in  observing  his  faith, 
how  he  leaned  on  God  ;  how  he  communed  with  God ; 
and  what  a  stranger  he  was  here  in  the  world.  After 
that,  read  the  story  of  Joseph's  sufferings,  and  God's 
goodness  to  him  :  blessed  God  for  these  examples  of 
faith  and  patience.  My  soul  was  ardent  in  prayer, 
was  enabled  to  wrestle  ardently  for  myself,  for  Chris- 
tian friends,  and  for  the  church  of  God ;  and  felt  more 
desire  to  see  the  power  of  God  in  the  conversion  of 
souls,  than  I  have  done  for  a  long  season.  Blessed  be 


78  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD. 

God  for  this  season  of  fasting  and  prayer  ! — May  his 
goodness  always  abide  with  me,  and  draw  my  soul 
to  him ! 

Nov.  10. — "  Spent  this  day  in  fasting  and  prayer 
alone.  In  the  morning  was  very  dull  and  lifeless, 
melancholy  and  discouraged.  But  after  some  time, 
while  reading  2  Kings,  19,  my  soul  was  moved  and 
affected ;  especially  reading  verse  14,  and  onward.  I 
saw  there  was  no  other  way  for  the  afflicted  children 
of  God  to  take,  but  to  go  to  God  with  all  their  sorrows. 
Hezekiah,  in  his  great  distress,  went  and  spread  his 
complaint  before  the  Lord.  I  was  then  enabled  to  see 
the  mighty  power  of  God,  and  my  extreme  need  of 
that  power ;  and  to  cry  to  him  affectionately  and  ar- 
dently for  his  power  and  grace  to  be  exercised  toward 
me.  Afterward,  read  the  story  of  David's  trials,  and 
observed  the  course  he  took  under  them,  how  he 
strengthened  his  hands  in  God;  whereby  my  soul  was 
carried  out  after  God,  enabled  to  cry  to  him,  and  rely 
upon  him,  and  felt  strong  in  the  Lord.  Was  afterward 
refreshed,  observing  the  blessed  temper  that  was 
wrought  in  David  by  his  trials  :  all  bitterness,  and  de- 
sire of  revenge,  seemed  wholly  taken  away ;  so  that 
he  mourned  for  the  death  of  his  enemies.  2  Sam.  1  : 
17,  and  4  :  9-12.  Was  enabled  to  bless  God  that  lie 
had  given  me  something  of  this  divine  temper,  that  my 
soul  freely  forgives,  and  heartily  laces  my  enemies. 

Nov.  29. — "  Began  to  study  the  Indian  tongue,  with 
Mr.  Sergeant,  at  Stockbridge.*  Was  perplexed  for  wanl 

*  The  commissioners  who  employed  him,  had  directed  him  to 
spend  much  time  this  winter  with  Mr.  Sergeant,  to  learn  the 
language  of  the  Indians;  which  necessitated  him  very  often  to 
ride  backward  and  forward,  twenty  miles  through  the  unin 


1744.  J  AT  KAUNAUMEEK.  79 

of  more  retirement.  I  love  to  live  alone  in  my 
own  little  cottage,  where  I  can  spend  much  time 
in  prayer,  &c. 

Dec.  22. — "  Spent  this  day  alone  in  fasting  and 
prayer,  and  reading  in  God's  word  the  exercises  and 
deliverances  of  his  children.  Had,  I  trust,  some  ex- 
ercise of  faith,  and  realizing  apprehension  of  divine 
power,  grace,  and  holiness ;  and  also  of  the  unchangea- 
bleness  of  God,  that  he  is  the  same  as  when  he  deli- 
vered his  saints  of  old  out  of  great  tribulation.  My 
soul  was  sundry  times  in  prayer  enlarged  for  God's 
church  and  people.  O  that  Zion  might  become  the 
"joy  of  the  whole  earth  !"  It  is  better  to  wait  upon 
God  with  patience,  than  to  put  confidence  in  any  thing 
in  this  lower  world.  "  My  soul,  wait  thou  on  the  Lord ;" 
for  "from  him  comes  thy  salvation." 

Lord's  day,  Jan.  1,  1744. — "  In  the  morning  had 
some  small  degree  of  assistance  in  prayer.  Saw  myself 
so  vile  and  unworthy  that  I  could  not  look  my  people 
in  the  face  when  I  came  to  preach.  O  my  meanness, 
folly,  ignorance,  and  inward  pollution  ! — In  the  evening 
had  a  little  assistance  in  prayer,  so  that  the  duty  was 
delightful,  rather  than  burdensome.  Reflected  on  the 
goodness  of  God  to  me  in  the  past  year,  &c.  Of  a 
truth  God  has  been  kind  and  gracious  to  me,  though 
he  has  caused  me  to  pass  through  many  sorrows;  he 
has  provided  for  me  bountifully,  so  that  I  have  been 
enabled,  in  about  fifteen  months  past,  to  bestow  to 
charitable  uses  about  an  hundred  pounds  New-England 
money,  that  I  can  now  remember.  Blessed  be  the  Lord 

habited  woods  between  Stockbridge  and  Kaunaumeek ;  which 
many  times  exposed  him  to  extreme  hardship  in  the  severe 
seasons  of  the  winter. 


80  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Ch&p.  V 


that  has  so  far  used  me  as  his  steward,  to  distribute  a 
portion  of  his  goods.  May  I  always  remember,  that 
all  I  have  comes  from  God.  Blessed  be  the  Lord,  that 
has  carried  me  through  all  the  toils,  fatigues  and  hard- 
ships of  the  year  past,  as  well  as  the  spiritual  sorrows 
and  conflicts  that  have  attended  it.  O  that  I  could 
begin  this  year  with  God,  and  spend  the  whole  of  it  to 
his  glory,  either  in  life  or  death  ! 

Jan.  3.  —  "  Was  employed  much  of  the  day  in  writ- 
ing ;  and  spent  some  time  in  other  necessary  employ- 
ment. But  my  time  passes  away  so  swiftly,  that  I  am 
astonished  when  I  reflect  on  it,  and  see  how  little  I  do. 
My  state  of  solitude  does  not  make  the  hours  hang 
heavy  upon  my  hands.  O  what  reason  of  thankful- 
ness have  I  on  account  of  this  retirement  !  I  find  that 
I  do  not,  and  it  seems  I  cannot,  lead  a  Christian  life 
when  I  am  abroad,  and  cannot  spend  time  in  devotion, 
Christian  conversation,  and  serious  meditation,  as  I 
should  do.  Those  weeks  that  I  am  obliged  now  to  be 
from  home,  in  order  to  learn  the  Indian  tongue,  are 
mostly,  spent  in  perplexity  and  barrenness,  without 
much  sweet  relish  of  divine  things  ;  and  I  feel  myself 
a  stranger  at  the  throne  of  grace  for  want  of  more  fre- 
quent and  continued  retirement.  When  I  return  home 
and  give  myself  to  meditation,  prayer,  and  fasting,  a 
new  scene  opens  to  my  mind,  and  my  soul  longs  for 
mortification,  self-denial,  humility,  and  divorcement 
from  all  things  of  the  world.  This  evening  my  heart  was 
somewhat  warm  and  fervent  in  prayer  and  meditation, 
so  that  I  was  loth  to  indulge  sleep.  Continued  in 
those  duties  till  about  midnight. 

Jan.  6.  —  "  Feeling  my  extreme  weakness,  and  want  of 
grace,  the  pollution  of  my  soul,  and  danger  of  tempta- 
tions on  every  side,  I  set  apart  this  day  for  fasting  and 


as 

1744.J  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  81 

prayer,  neither  eating  nor  drinking  from  evening  to 
evening,  beseeching  God  to  have  mercy  on  me.  My 
soul  intensely  longed  that  the  dreadful  spots  and  stains 
of  sin  might  be  washed  away  from  it.  Saw  something 
of  the  power  and  all-sufficiency  of  God.  My  soul 
seemed  to  rest  on  his  power  and  grace ;  longed  for  re- 
signation to  his  will,  and  mortification  to  all  things 
here  below.  My  mind  was  greatly  fixed  on  divine 
things  :  my  resolutions  for  a  life  of  mortification,  con- 
tinual watchfulness,  self-denial,  seriousness  and  devo- 
tion, were  strong  and  fixed ;  my  desires  ardent  and  in- 
tense ;  my  conscience  tender,  and  afraid  of  every  ap- 
pearance of  evil.  My  soul  grieved  with  reflection  on 
past  levity,  and  want  of  resolution  for  God.  I  solemn- 
ly renewed  my  dedication  of  myself  to  God,  and 
longed  for  grace  to  enable  me  always  to  keep  covenant 
with  him.  Time  appeared  very  short,  eternity  near 
and  a  great  name,  either  in  or  after  life,  together  with 
all  earthly  pleasures  and  profits,  but  an  empty  bubble, 
a  deluding  dream. 

Jan.  7.  "  Spent  this  day  in  seriousness,  with  stead- 
fast resolutions  for  God,  and  a  life  of  mortification. 
Studied  closely,  till  I  felt  my  bodily  strength  fail.  Felt 
some  degree  of  resignation  to  God,  with  an  acquies- 
cence in  his  dispensations.  Was  grieved  that  I  could 
do  so  little  for  God  before  my  bodily  strength  failed. 
In  the  evening,  though  tired,  was  enabled  to  continue 
instant  in  prayer  for  some  time.  Spent  the  time  in  read- 
ing, meditation,  and  prayer,  till  the  evening  was  far 
spent :  was  grieved  to  think  that  I  could  not  watch  un- 
to prayer  the  whole  night.  But  blessed  be  God,  hea- 
ven is  a  place  of  continual  and  incessant  devotion 
though  the  earth  is  dull. 

Jan.  14,    "This  morning,  enjoyed  a  most  solemn 

TVninerd.  6 


82  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   V. 

season  in  prayer :  my  soul  seemed  enlarged  and  assist- 
ed to  pour  out  itself  to  God  for  grace,  and  for  every 
blessing  I  wanted  for  myself,  for  dear  Christian  friends, 
and  for  the  church  of  God;  and  was  so  enabled  to 
"see  Him  who  is  invisible,"  that  my  soul  rested  upon 
him  for  the  performance  of  every  thing  I  asked  agreea- 
ble to  his  will.  It  was  then  my  happiness  to  '  continue 
instant  in  prayer,'  and  I  was  enabled  to  continue  in  it 
for  near  an  hour.  My  soul  was  then  "  strong  in  the 
Lord,  and  in  the  power  of  his  might."  Longed  exceed- 
ingly for  an  angelic  holiness  and  purity,  and  to  have 
all  my  thoughts,  at  all  times,  employed  in  divine  and 
heavenly  things.  Felt  the  same  divine  assistance  in 
prayer  sundry  times  in  the  day.  My  soul  confided  in 
God  for  myself,  and  for  his  Zion :  trusted  in  divine 
power  and  grace,  that  he  would  do  glorious  things  in 
his  church  on  earth,  for  his  own  glory. 

Feb.  3.  "  Enjoyed  more  freedom  and  comfort  than 
of  late ;  was  engaged  in  meditation  upon  the  different 
whispers  of  the  various  powers  and  affections  of  a 
pious  mind,  exercised  with  a  great  variety  of  dispen- 
sations ;  and  could  not  but  write,  as  well  as  meditate, 
on  so  entertaining  a  subject.  I  hope  the  Lord  gave  me 
some  true  sense  of  divine  things  this  day ;  but  alas, 
how  great  and  pressing  are  the  remains  of  indwelling 
corruption !  I  am  now  more  sensible  than  ever,  that 
God  alone  is  "the  author  and  finisher  of  our  faith,"  i.  e. 
that  the  whole  and  every  part  of  sanctification,  and 
every  good  word,  work,  or  thought,  found  in  me,  is  the 
effect  of  his  power  and  grace ;  that  "without  him  I  can 
do  nothing,"  in  the  strictest  sense,  and  that, "  he  works 
in  us  to  will  and  to  do  of  his  own  good  pleasure,"  and 
from  no  other  motive.  O  how  amazing  it  is  that  peo- 
ple can  talk  so  much  about  men's  power  and  goodness  > 


1744.  J  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  83 

when  if  God  did  not  hold  us  back  every  moment,  we 
should  be  devils  incarnate !  This  my  bitter  experience, 
for  several  days  last  past,  has  abundantly  taught  me 
concerning  myself. 

Feb.  7.  "  My  soul  felt  and  tasted  that  the  Lord  is 
gracious ;  that  he  is  the  supreme  good,  the  only  soul- 
satisfying  happiness ;  that  he  is  a  complete,  sufficient, 
and  almighty  portion.  The  language  of  my  heart  was, 
"  Whom  have  I  in  heaven  but  thee  ?  and  there  is  none 
upon  earth  that  I  desire  beside  thee."  O,  I  feel  that 
it  is  heaven  to  please  him,  and  to  be  just  what  he  would 
have  me  to  be !  O  that  my  soul  were  "  holy,  as  he  is 
holy  ! "  O  that  it  were  "  pure,  even  as  Christ  is  pure ; " 
and  "perfect,  as  my  Father  in  heaven  is  perfect!" 
These  I  feel  are  the  sweetest  commands  in  God's  book, 
comprising  all  others.  And  shall  I  break  them  !  must 
I  break  them  !  am  I  under  the  necessity  of  it  as  long 
as  I  live  in  the  world  !  O  my  soul,  wo,  wo  is  me,  that  I 
am  a  sinner,  who  continually  grieve  and  offend  this 
blessed  God,  infinite  in  goodness  and  grace !  O  methinks 
if  he  would  punish  me  for  my  sins,  it  would  not  wound 
my  heart  so  deep  to  offend  him ;  but  though  I  sin  con- 
tinually, yet  he  continually  repeats  his  kindness  to  me ! 

0  methinks  I  could  bear  any  sufferings;  but  how  can 

1  bear  to  grieve  and  dishonor  this  blessed  God  !  How 
shall  I  yield  ten  thousand  times  more  honor  to  him? 
What  shall  I  do  to  glorify  and  worship  this  best  of  be- 
ings ?  O  that  I  could  consecrate  myself,  soul  and  body, 
to  his  service  for  ever !  O  that  I  could  give  up  myself 
to  him,  so  as  never  more  to  attempt  to  be  my  own,  or 
to  have  any  will  or  affections  that  are  not  perfectly  con- 
formed to  him !  But,  alas  !  I  find  I  cannot  be  thus  en- 
tirely devoted  to  God ;  I  cannot  live,  and  not  sin.    O 
ye  angels,  do  ye  glorify  him  incessantly ;  and  if  possi- 


84  LJFE    OP   BRAINERD.  |  Chap.   V 

ble,  prostrate  yourselves  lower  before  the  blessed  King 
of  heaven  !  I  long  to  bear  a  part  with  you ;  and,  if  "it 
were  possible,  to  help  you.  O  when  we  have  done  all 
that  we  can,  to  all  eternity,  we  shall  not  be  able  to  offer 
the  ten  thousandth  part  of  the  homage  which  the  glo 
rious  God  deserves ! 

March  3.  "In  the  morning,  spent  (I  believe)  an 
hour  in  prayer,  with  great  intenseness  and  freedom, 
and  with  the  most  soft  and  tender  affection  toward  all 
mankind.  I  longed  that  those  who,  I  have  reason  to 
think,  owe  me  ill  will,  might  be  eternally  happy.  It 
seemed  refreshing  to  think  of  meeting  them  in  heaven, 
how  much  soever  they  had  injured  me  on  earth :  had 
no  disposition  to  insist  upon  any  confession  from  thenij 
in  order  to  reconciliation,  and  the  exercise  of  love  and 
kindness  to  them.  O  it  is  an  emblem  of  heaven  itself, 
to  love  all  the  world  with  a  love  of  kindness,  forgive- 
ness, and  benevolence ;  to  feel  our  souls  sedate,  mild, 
and  meek ;  to  be  void  of  all  evil  surmisings  and  sus- 
picions, and  scarce  able  to  think  evil  of  any  man  upon 
any  occasion ;  to  find  our  hearts  simple,  open,  and  free, 
to  those  that  look  upon  us  with  a  different  eye ! — 
Prayer  was  so  sweet  an  exercise  to  me,  that  I  knew 
not  how  to  cease,  lest  I  should  lose  the  spirit  of  prayer. 
Felt  no  disposition  to  eat  or  drink,  for  the  sake  of  the 
pleasure  of  it,  but  only  to  support  my  nature,  and  fit 
me  for  divine  service.  Could  not  be  content  without 
a  very  particular  mention  of  a  great  number  of  dear 
friends  at  the  throne  of  grace ;  as  also  the  particular 
circumstances  of  many,  as  far  as  they  were  known. 

March  10.  "  In  the  morning,  felt  exceeding  dead  tc 
the  world,  and  all  its  enjoyments.  I  thought  I  was 
ready  and  willing  to  give  up  life  and  all  its  comforts, 
as  soon  as  called  to  it ;  and  yet  then  had  as  much  com- 


1744.  J  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  85 

fort  of  life  as  almost  ever  I  had.  I  longed  to  be  per- 
petually and  entirely  crucified  to  all  things  here  below, 
by  the  cross  of  Christ.  My  soul  was  sweetly  resigned 
to  God's  disposal  of  me,  in  every  regard ;  and  I  saw 
that  nothing  had  happened  but  what  was  best  for  me. 
I  confided  in  God,  that  he  would  never  leave  me, 
though  I  should  "  walk  through  the  valley  of  the  sha- 
dow of  death."  It  was  then  my  meat  and  drink  to  be 
holy,  to  live  to  the  Lord,  and  die  to  the  Lord.  And  I 
thought  that  I  then  enjoyed  such  a  heaven  as  far  ex- 
ceeded the  most  sublime  conceptions  of  an  unregene- 
r  ate  soul ;  and  even  unspeakably  beyond  what  I  my- 
self could  conceive  of  at  another  time.  I  did  not  won- 
der that  Peter  said,  "  Lord,  it  is  good  to  be  here,"  when 
thus  refreshed  with  divine  glories.  My  soul  was  full 
of  love  and  tenderness  in  the  duty  of  intercession ; 
especially  felt  a  most  sweet  affection  to  some  precious 
godly  ministers,  of  my  acquaintance.  Prayed  earnest- 
ly for  dear  Christians,  and  for  those  I  have  reason  to 
fear  are  my  enemies ;  and  could  not  have  spoken  a 
word  of  bitterness,  or  entertained  a  bitter  thought, 
against  the  vilest  man  living.  Had  a  sense  of  my  own 
great  unworthiness.  My  soul  seemed  to  breathe  forth 
love  and  praise  to  God  afresh,  when  I  thought  he  would 
let  his  children  love  and  receive  me  as  one  of  their 
brethren  and  fellow  citizens.  When  I  thought  of  their 
treating  me  in  that  manner,  I  longed  to  lie  at  their  feet; 
and  could  think  of  no  way  to  express  the  sincerity  and 
simplicity  of  my  love  and  esteem  of  them,  as  being 
much  better  than  myself. 

Lord's  day,  March  11.  "  My  soul  was  in  some  mea- 
sure strengthened  in  God,  in  morning  devotion ;  so  that 
I  was  released  from  trembling  fear  and  distress.  Preach- 
ed to  my  people  from  the  parable  of  the  sower,  Matt. 


86  LIFE   OF    BRAINERD.  'LChap.  V 

13,  and  enjoyed  some  assistance  both  parts  of  the  day, 
had  some  freedom,  affection,  and  fervency  in  address- 
ing my  poor  people ;  longed  that  God  should  take  hold 
of  their  hearts,  and  make  them  spiritually  alive.  And 
indeed  I  had  so  much  to  say  to  them,  that  I  knew  not 
how  to  leave  off  speaking." 

This  was  the  last  Sabbath  in  which  he  ever  per- 
formed public  service  at  Kaunaumeek,  and  these  the 
last  sermons  which  he  ever  preached  to  the  Indians 
there.  The  methods  he  adopted  for  their  salvation,  he 
thus  describes  in  a  letter  to  Rev.  Mr.  Pemberton  of 
New- York. 

"  In  my  labors  with  them,  in  order  to  "  turn  them 
from  darkness  to  light,"  I  studied  what  was  most  plain 
and  easy,  and  best  suited  to  their  capacities ;  and  en- 
deavored to  set  before  them  from  time  to  time,  as  they 
were  able  to  receive  them,  the  most  important  and  ne- 
cessary truths  of  Christianity ;  such  as  most  imme- 
diately concerned  their  speedy  conversion  to  God,  and 
such  as  I  judged  had  the  greatest  tendency,  as  means, 
to  effect  that  glorious  change  in  them.  But  especially 
I  made  it  the  scope  and  drift  of  all  my  labors,  to  lead 
them  into  a  thorough  acquaintance  with  these  two 
things :  (1.)  The  sinfidness  and  misery  of  the  estate 
they  were  naturally  in ;  the  evil  of  their  hearts,  the 
pollution  of  their  natures  ;  the  heavy  guilt  they  were 
under,  and  their  exposedness  to  everlasting  punish- 
ment; as  also  their  utter  inability  to  save  themselves, 
either  from  their  sins,  or  from  those  miseries  which 
are  the  just  punishment  of  them ;  and  their  unworthi- 
ness  of  any  mercy  at  the  hand  of  God,  on  account  of 
any  thing  they  themselves  could  do  to  procure  his 
favor,  and  consequently  their  extreme  need  of  Christ 
to  save  them.  And,  (2.)  I  frequently  endeavored  to 


1744.]  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  87 

open  to  them  the  fullness,  all-sufficiency,  and  freeness 
of  that  redemption  which  the  Son  of  God  has  wrought 
out  by  his  obedience  and  sufferings,  for  perishing  sin- 
ners :  how  this  provision  he  had  made  was  suited  to 
all  their  wants ;  and  how  he  called  and  invited  them  to 
accept  of  everlasting  life  freely,  notwithstanding  all 
their  sinfulness. 

"  After  I  had  been  with  the  Indians  several  months, 
I  composed  sundry  forms  of  prayer,  adapted  to  their 
circumstances  and  capacities ;  which,  with  the  help  of 
my  interpreter,  I  translated  into  the  Indian  language  ; 
and  soon  learned  to  pronounce  their  words,  so  as  to 
pray  with  them  in  their  own  tongue.  I  also  translated 
sundry  psalms  into  their  language,  and  soon  after  we 
were  able  to  sing  in  the  worship  of  God. 

"  When  my  people  had  gained  some  acquaintance 
with  many  of  the  simplest  truths  of  Christianity,  so 
that  they  were  capable  of  receiving  and  understanding 
others,  I  gave  them  an  historical  account  of  God's 
dealings  with  his  ancient  professing  people,  the  Jews; 
some  of  the  rites  and  ceremonies  they  were  obliged  to 
observe,  as  their  sacrifices,  &c. ;  and  what  these  were 
designed  to  represent  to  them ;  as  also  some  of  the  sur- 
prising miracles  God  wrought  for  their  salvation,  while 
they  trusted  in  him  ;  and  sore  punishments  he  some- 
times brought  upon  them,  when  they  forsook  and  sin- 
ned against  him.  Afterward  I  proceeded  to  give  them 
a  relation  of  the  birth,  life,  miracles,  sufferings,  death, 
and  resurrection  of  Christ ;  as  well  as  his  ascension, 
and  the  wonderful  effusion  of  the  Holy  Spirit  conse- 
quent thereupon. 

"  And  having  thus  endeavored  to  prepare  the  way 
by  such  a  general  account  of  things,  I  next  proceeded 
to  read  and  expound  to  them  the  Gospel  of  St.  Matthew 


88  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  V 

(at  least  the  substance  of  it)  in  course,  wherein  they 
had  a  more  distinct  and  particular  view  of  what  they 
had  had  before  some  general  notion.  These  exposi- 
tions I  attended  almost  every  evening,  when  there  was 
any  considerable  number  of  them  at  home ;  except 
when  I  was  obliged  to  be  absent  myself,  in  order  to 
learn  the  Indian  language  with  the  Rev.  Mr.  Sargeant. 
Besides  these  means  of  instruction,  there  was  likewise 
an  English  school  constantly  kept  by  my  interpreter 
among  the  Indians ;  which  I  used  frequently  to  visit, 
in  order  to  give  the  children  and  young  people  some 
proper  instructions,  and  serious  exhortations  suited  to 
their  age. 

"  The  degree  of  knowledge  to  which  some  of  them 
attained  was  considerable.  Many  of  the  truths  of  Chris- 
tianity seemed  fixed  in  their  minds,  especially  in  some 
instances,  so  that  they  would  speak  to  me  of  them, 
and  ask  such  questions  about  them  as  were  necessary 
to  render  them  more  plain  and  clear  to  their  under- 
standings. The  children,  also,  and  young  people,  who 
attended  the  school,  made  considerable  proficiency  (at 
least  some  of  them)  in  their  learning ;  so  that  had  they 
understood  the  English  language  well,  they  would 
have  been  able  to  read  somewhat  readily  in  a  psalter. 

"  But  that  which  was  most  of  all  desirable,  and  gave 
me  the  greatest  encouragement  amidst  many  difficul- 
ties and  disconsolate  hours,  was,  that  the  truths  of 
God's  word  seemed,  at  times,  to  be  attended  with  some 
power  upon  the  hearts  and  consciences  of  the  Indians 
And  especially  this  appeared  evident  in  a  few  indivi- 
duals, who  were  awakened  to  some  sense  of  their  mi- 
serable estate  by  nature,  and  appeared  solicitous  for 
deliverance  from  it.  Several  of  them  came,  of  their 
own  accord  to  discourse  with  me  about  their  soul's 


1744.J  AT   KAUNAUMEEK.  89 

concerns  ;  and  some,  with  tears,  inquired  what  they 
should  do  to  be  saved  ?" 

The  Indians  at  Kaunaumeek  being  but  few  in  num- 
ber and  Brainerd  having  been  laboring  among  them 
about  a  year,  and  having  prevailed  upon  them  to  be 
willing  to  leave  Kaunaumeek,  and  remove  to  Stock- 
bridge,  to  live  constantly  under  Mr.  Sergeant's  minis- 
try; he  thought  he  might  now  do  more  service  for 
Christ  among  the  Indians  elsewhere :  and  therefore 
went  to  New-Jersey,  and  laid  the  matter  before  the 
Commissioners  ;  who  met  at  Elizabeth-Town,  on  the 
occasion,  and  determined  that  he  should  forthwith 
leave  Kaunaumeek,  and  go  to  the  Delaware  Indians. 

By  the  invitations  which  Brainerd  had  lately  re- 
ceived, it  appears,  that  it  was  not  from  necessity,  or 
for  want  of  opportunities  to  settle  in  the  ministry,  that 
he  determined  to  forsake  all  the  outward  comforts, 
he  might  thus  have  enjoyed,  to  spend  his  life  among 
savages^  and  endure  the  difficulties  and  self-denials  of 
an  Indian  mission.  He  had,  just  as  he  was  leaving 
Kaunaumeek,  had  an  earnest  invitation  to  a  settlement 
at  East-Hampton,  one  of  the  pleasantest  towns  on 
Long-Island.  The  people  there  were  unanimous  in 
their  desires  to  have  him  for  their  pastor,  and  for  a 
long  time  continued  in  earnest  pursuit  of  him,  and 
were  hardly  brought  to  relinquish  their  endeavors,  and 
give  up  their  hopes  of  obtaining  him.  Besides  this,  he 
had  an  invitation  to  preach  with  reference  to  a  settle- 
ment in  Millington,  near  his  native  town,  and  in  the 
midst  of  his  friends.  Nor  did  Brainerd  choose  the  bu- 
siness of  a  missionary  to  the  Indians,  rather  than  ac- 
cept of  those  invitations,  because  he  was  unacquainted 
with  the  difficulties  and  sufferings  which  attended  such 
a  service;  for  he  had  had  experience  of  these  difficul- 


00  LIFE   OP    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  V 

ties  in  summer  and  winter ;  having  spent  about  a  year 
in  a  lonely  desert  among  these  savages,  where  he  had 
gone  through  extreme  hardships,  and  been  the  subject 
of  a  train  of  outward  and  inward  sorrows,  which  were 
now  fresh  in  his  mind. 

After  this  he  continued  two  or  three  days  in  New- 
Jersey,  very  ill ;  and  then  returned  to  New-York ;  and 
from  thence  into  New-England ;  and  went  to  his  native 
town  of  Haddam,  where  he  arrived  on  Saturday,  April 
14.  And  he  continues  still  his  bitter  complaints  of  want 
of  retirement.  While  he  was  in  New- York,  he  says 
thus,  "  O  it  is  not  the  pleasures  of  the  world  which  can 
comfort  me  !  If  God  deny  his  presence,  what  are  the 
pleasures  of  the  city  to  me  ?  One  hour  of  sweet  re- 
tirement where  God  is,  is  better  than  the  whole  world." 

April  17. — "In  the  evening,  at  my  brother's,  singing 
hymns  with  friends,  my  soul  seemed  to  melt ;  and  in 
prayer  afterward,  enjoyed  the  exercise  of  faith,  and 
was  enabled  to  be  fervent  in  spirit :  found  more  oi 
God's  presence  than  I  have  done  any  time  in  my  late 
wearisome  journey.  Eternity  appeared  very  near ; 
my  nature  was  very  weak,  and  seemed  ready  to  be  dis- 
solved ;  the  sun  declining,  and  the  shadows  of  the 
evening  drawing  on  apace.  O  I  longed  to  fill  up  the 
remaining  moments  all  for  God  !  Though  my  body 
was  so  feeble,  and  wearied  with  preaching  and  much 
private  conversation,  yet  I  wanted  to  sit  up  all  night  to 
do  something  for  God.  To  God,  the  giver  of  these 
refreshments,  be  glory  for  ever  and  ever.  Amen. 

April  18. — "  Was  very  weak,  and  enjoyed  but  little 
spiritual  comfort.  Was  exercised  with  one  who  ca- 
villed against  original  sin.  May  the  Lord  open  his 
eyes  to  see  the  fountain  of  sin  in  himself !" 

After  this  he  visited  several  ministers  in  Connect i- 


1744.J  AT   KAUNADMEEK.  91 

cut;  and  then  travelled  towards  Kaunaumeek,  and 
came  to  Mr.  Sergeant's,  at  Stockbridge,  Thursday, 
April  26,  having  performed  the  journey  in  a  very  weak 
state  of  body. 

April  27  and  28. — "  Spent  some  time  in  visiting, 
friends,  and  discoursing  with  my  people,  (who  were 
now  moved  down  from  their  own  place  to  Mr.  Ser- 
geant's) and  found  them  very  glad  to  see  me  returned. 
Was  exercised  in  my  mind  with  a  sense  of  my  own 
unworthiness. 

Lord's  day,  April  29. — "  Preached  for  Mr.  Ser- 
geant both  parts  of  the  day,  from  Rev.  14  :  4.  Enjoyed 
some  freedom  in  preaching,  though  not  much  spiri- 
tuality. In  the  evening,  my  heart  was  in  some  mea- 
sure lifted  up  in  thankfulness  to  God  for  any  assist- 
ance. 

April  30. — "  Rode  to  Kaunaumeek,  but  was  ex- 
tremely ill ;  did  not  enjoy  the  comfort  I  hoped  for  in 
my  own  house. 

May  1. — "  Having  received  new  orders  to  go  to  a 
number  of  Indians  on  Delaware  river,  in  Pennsylva- 
nia, and  my  people  here  being  mostly  removed  to  Mr. 
Sergeant's,  I  this  day  took  all  my  clothes,  books,  &c. 
and  disposed  of  them,  and  set  out  for  Delaware  river ; 
but  made  it  my  way  to  return  to  Mr.  Sergeant's,  which 
I  did  this  day,  just  at  night.  Rode  several  hours  in 
the  rain  through  the  howling  wilderness,'although  I 
was  so  disordered  in  body,  that  little  or  nothing  but 
blood  came  from  me. 

May  8. — "  Travelled  about  forty-five  miles  to  a  place 
ca-lled  Fishkill ;  and  lodged  there.  Spent  much  of  my 
time,  while  riding,  in  prayer  that  God  would  go  \vith 
me  to  the  Delaware.  My  heart  sometimes  was  ready 
to  sink  with  the  thoughts  of  my  work,  and  going  alone 


92  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  V 

in  the  wilderness,  I  knew  not  where  ;  but  still  it  was 
comfortable  to  think  that  others  of  God's  children  had 
'  wandered  about  in  dens  and  caves  of  the  earth ;'  and 
Abraham,  when  he  was  called  to  go  forth, .'  went  out 
not  knowing  whither  he  went.'  O  that  I  might  follow 
*after  God !" 

The  next  day  he  went  forward  on  his  journey; 
crossed  the  Hudson,  and  went  to  Goshen  in  the  High- 
lands ;  and  so  traveled  across  the  woods,  from  the 
Hudson  to  the  Delaware,  about  a  hundred  miles, 
through  a  desolate  and  hideous  country,  above  New- 
Jersey,  where  were  very  few  settlements  ;  in  which 
journey  he  suffered  much  fatigue  and  hardship.  He 
visited  some  Indians  in  the  way,  at  a  place  called  Miu- 
nissinks,  and  discoursed  with  them  concerning  Chris- 
tianity. Was  considerably  melancholy  and  disconso- 
late, being  alone  in  a  strange  wilderness.  On  Satur- 
day, May  12,  he  came  to  a  settlement  of  Irish  and 
Dutch  people,  and  proceeding  about  twelve  miles  fur- 
ther arrived  at  Sakhauwotung,  an  Indian  settlement 
within  the  Forks  of  the  Delaware. 

Lord's  day,  May  13. — "  Rose  early  ;  felt  very  poorly 
after  my  long  journey,  and  after  being  wet  and  fa- 
tigued. Was  very  melancholy;  have  scarcely  ever 
seen  such  a  gloomy  morning  in  my  life ;  there  ap- 
peared to  be  no  Sabbath;  the  children  were  all  at  play; 
I,  a  stranger  in  the  wilderness,  and  knew  not  where  to 
go  ;  and  all  circumstances  seemed  to  conspire  to  ren- 
der my  affairs  dark  and  discouraging.  Was  disap- 
pointed respecting  an  Interpreter,  and  heard  that  the 
Indians  were  much  scattered.  O,  I  mourned  after  the 
presence  of  God,  and  seemed  like  a  creature  banished 
from  his  sight !  yet  he  was  pleased  to  support  my  sink- 
ing soul  amidst  all  my  sorrows ;  so  that  I  never  enter- 


1744.]         AT  FORKS  OP  DELAWARE.  93 

tained  any  thought  of  quitting  my  business  among  the 
poor  Indians  ;  but  was  comforted  to  think  that  death 
would  ere  long  set  me  free  from  these  distresses. 
Rode  about  three  or  four  miles  to  the  Irish  people, 
where  I  found  some  that  appeared  sober  and  con- 
cerned about  religion.  My  heart  then  began  to  be  a 
little  encouraged  :  went  and  preached  first  to  the  Irish 
and  then  to  the  Indians ;  and  in  the  evening  was  a 
little  comforted :  my  soul  seemed  to  rest  on  God,  and 
take  courage. 

Lord's  day,  May  20. — "  Preached  twice  to  the  poor 
Indians ;  and  enjoyed  some  freedom  in  speaking,  while 
I  attempted  to  remove  their  prejudices  against  Chris- 
tianity. My  soul  longed  continually  for  assistance 
from  above  ;  for  I  saw  I  had  no  strength  sufficient  for 
that  work.  Afterward  preached  to  the  Irish  people ; 
was  much  assisted  in  the  first  prayer,  and  somewhat 
in  the  sermon.  Several  persons  seemed  much  con- 
cerned for  their  souls,  with  whom  I  discoursed  after- 
ward with  much  freedom  and  some  power.  Blessed 
be  God  for  any  assistance  afforded  to  an  unworthy 
worm.  O  that  I  could  live  to  him  ! 

Lord's  day,  May  27. — "  Visited  my  Indians  in  the 
morning,  and  attended  upon  a  funeral  among  them  ; 
was  affected  to  see  their  heathenish  practices.  O  that 
they  might  be  '  turned  from  darkness  to  light !'  After- 
ward got  a  considerable  number  of  them  together,  and 
preached  to  them ;  and  observed  them  very  attentive. 
After  this  preached  to  the  white  people  from  Heb. 
2:3.  '  How  shall  we  escape  if  we  neglect  so  great 
salvation  ?'  Was  enabled  to  speak  with  some  freedom 
and  power :  several  people  seemed  much  concerned 
for  their  souls ;  especially  one  who  had  been  educated 
a  Roman  Catholic.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  any  help. 


94  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [«:3iap.  V 

May  28. — "Set  out  from  the  Indians  above  theForks 
of  the  Delaware,  on  a  journey  toward  Newark,  in 
New- Jersey,  according  to  my  orders.  Rode  through 
the  wilderness ;  was  much  fatigued  with  the  heat ; 
lodged  at  a  place  called  Black  River ;  was  exceed- 
ingly tired  and  worn  out. 

Lord's  day,  June  10. — "  [At  Newark.]  In  the  morn- 
ing was  much  concerned  how  I  should  perform  the 
work  of  the  day  :  and  trembled  at  the  thoughts  of  be- 
ing left  to  myself.  Enjoyed  very  considerable  assist- 
ance in  all  parts  of  the  public  service.  Had  an  oppor- 
tunity again  to  attend  on  the  ordinance  of  the  Lord's 
Supper,  and  through  divine  goodness  was  refreshed  in 
it :  my  soul  was  full  of  love  and  tenderness  toward  the 
children  of  God,  and  toward  all  men.  At  night  I 
enjoyed  more  spirituality  and  sweet  desire  of  holiness, 
than  I  have  felt  for  some  time :  was  afraid  of  every 
thought  and  every  motion,  lest  thereby  my  heart 
should  be  drawn  away  from  God.  O  that  I  might 
never  leave  the  blessed  God  !  '  Lord,  in  thy  presence 
is  fulness  of  joy.'  O  the  blessedness  of  living  to  God  I 

June  11. — "  This  day  the  Presbytery  met  at  New*- 
ark,  in  order  to  my  ordination.  Was  very  weak  and 
disordered  in  body ;  yet  endeavored  to  repose  my  con- 
fidence in  God.  Spent  most  of  the  day  alone ;  espe- 
cially the  forenoon.  At  three  in  the  afternoon  preached 
my  probation  sermon  from  Acts,  26  :  17,  18,  being  a 
text  given  me  for  that  purpose.  Felt  not  well  either 
in  body  or  mind :  however,  God  carried  me  through 
comfortably.  Afterward  passed  an  examination  before 
the  Presbytery.  Was  much  tired,  and  my  mind  bur- 
dened with  the  greatness  of  that  charge  I  was  in  the 
most  solemn  manner  about  to  take  upon  me :  my  mind 
was  so  pressed  with  the  weight  of  the  work  incum- 


1744.]  AT   FORKS   OP   DELAWARE.  95 

bent  upon  me,  that  I  could  not  sleep  this  night,  though 
very  weary  and  in  great  need  of  rest. 

June  12. — "  Was  this  morning  further  examined 
respecting  my  experimental  acquaintance  with  Chris- 
tianity. At  10  o'clock  my  ordination  was  attended  ; 
the  sermon  preached  by  the  Rev.  Mr.  Pemberton.  At 
this  time  I  was  affected  with  a  sense  of  the  important 
trust  committed  to  me ;  yet  Was  composed  and  solemn 
without  distraction  ;  and  I  hope  that  then,  as  many 
times  before,  I  gave  myself  up  to  God,  to  be  for  him, 
and  not  M:  another.  O  that  I  might  always  be  en- 
gaged in  the  service  of  God,  and  duly  remember  the 
solemn  charge  I  have  received  in  the  presence  of  God, 
angels,  and  men.  Amen." 


CHAPTER    VI. 

Labors  for  the  Indians  at  and  near  the  Forks  of  Delaware — idola- 
trous feast  and  dance — journey  through  the  wilderness  to  Ope- 
holhaupung  or  the  Susquehanna — erects  a  cottage  atForks  of  the 
Delaware — some  evidences  of  a  work  of  the  Spirit  among  the 
Indians — journey  to  New-England  to  obtain  money  to  support 
a  colleague — visit  to  the  Indians  on  the  Susquehanna — journey 
to  Crossiveeksung  in  New -Jersey. 

June  13, 1744— June  18, 1745. 

June  13,  1744.  [At  Elizabeth  Town.]—"  Spent  con- 
siderable time  in  writing  an  account  of  the  Indian  af- 
fairs, to  be  sent  to  Scotland ;  some,  in  conversation  with 
friends ;  but  had  not  much  spiritual  enjoyment." 

On  Tuesday,  June  19,  he  set  out  on  his  journey, 
and  in  three  days  reached  his  residence  near  the  Forks 
of  Delaware.  Performed  the  journey  under  much 


96  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI. 

weakness  of  body,  but  had  comfort  in  his  soul,  from 
day  to  day. 

Lord's  day,  June  24. — "  Extremely  feeble ;  scarcely 
able  to  walk :  however  visited  my  Indians,  and  took 
much  pains  to  instruct  them ;  labored  with  some  that 
were  much  disaffected  toward  Christianity.  My  mind 
was  much  burdened  with  the  weight  and  difficulty  of 
my  work.  My  whole  dependence  and  hope  of  suc- 
cess seemed  to  be  on  God ;  who  alone  I  saw  could 
make  them  willing  to  receive  instruction.  My  heart 
was  much  engaged  in  prayer,  sending  up  silent  re- 
quests to  God,  even  while  I  was  speaking  to  them.  O 
that  I  could  always  go  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord ! 

June  25. — "  Was  somewhat  better  in  health  than  of 
late ;  and  was  able  to  spend  a  considerable  part  of  the 
day  in  prayer  and  close  study.  Had  more  freedom 
and  fervency  in  prayer  than  usual  of  late  ;  especially 
longed  for  the  presence  of  God  in  my  work,  and  that 
the  poor  Heathen  might  be  converted.  And  in  evening 
prayer  my  faith  and  hope  in  God  were  much  raised. 
To  an  eye  of  reason  every  thing  that  respects  the  con- 
version of  the  Heathen  is  as  dark  as  midnight ;  and  yet 
I  cannot  but  hope  in  God  for  the  accomplishment  of 
something  glorious  among  them.  My  soul  longed 
much  for  the  advancement  of  the  Redeemer's  kingdom 
on  earth.  Was  very  fearful  lest  I  should  admit  some 
vain  thought,  and  so  lose  the  sense  I  then  had  of  divine 
things.  O  for  an  abiding  heavenly  temper ! 

June  26. — "  In  the  morning,  my  desires  seemed  to 
rise,  and  ascend  up  freely  to  God.  Was  busy  most  of 
the  day  in  translating  prayers  into  the  language  of  the 
Delaware  Indians ;  met  with  great  difficulty,  because 
my  interpreter  was  altogether  unacquainted  with  the 
business.  But  though  I  was  much  discouraged  with 


1744.  |         AT  FORKS  OP  DELAWARE.  97 

the  extreme  difficulty  of  that  work,  yet  God  supported 
me ;  and  especially  in  the  evening,  gave  me  sweet  re- 
freshment. In  prayer  my  soul  was  enlarged,  and  my 
faith  drawn  into  sensible  exercise ;  was  enabled  to  cry 
to  God  for  my  poor  Indians ;  and  though  the  work  of 
their  conversion  appeared  impossible  with  man,  y et  with 
God  I  saw  all  things  were  possible.  My  faith  was  much 
strengthened,  by  observing  the  wonderful  assistance 
God  afforded  his  servants  Nehemiah  and  Ezra,  in  re- 
forming his  people  and  re-establishing  his  ancient 
church.  I  was  much  assisted  in  prayer  for  my  dear 
Christian  friends,  and  for  others  whom  I  apprehended 
to  be  Christless;  but  was  more  especially  concerned 
for  the  poor  heathen,  and  those  of  my  own  charge ; 
was  enabled  to  be  instant  in  prayer  for  them ;  and 
hoped  that  God  would  bow  the  heavens  and  come  down 
for  their  salvation.  It  seemed  to  me  that  there  could 
be  no  impediment  sufficient  to  obstruct  that  glorious 
work,  seeing  the  living  God,  as  I  strongly  hoped,  was 
engaged  for  it.  I  continued  in  a  solemn  frame,  lifting 
up  my  heart  to  God  for  assistance  and  grace,  that  I 
might  be  more  mortified  to  this  present  world,  that  my 
whole  soul  might  be  taken  up  continually  in  concern 
for  the  advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom.  Earnestly 
desired  that  God  would  purge  me  more,  that  I  might 
be  as  a  chosen  vessel  to  bear  his  name  among  the 
Heathen. 

June  28. — "Spent  the  morning  in  reading  several 
parts  of  the  holy  scripture,  and  in  fervent  prayer  for 
my  Indians,  chat  God  would  set  up  his  kingdom  among 
them,  and  bring  them  into  his  church.  About  nine  1 
withdrew  to  my  usual  place  of  retirement  in  the  woods, 
and  there  again  enjoyed  some  assistance  in  prayer. 
My  great,  concern  was  for  the  conversion  of  the  hea- 

Brainerd.  7 


98  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI. 

then  to  God  ;  and  the  Lord  helped  me  to  plead  with 
him  for  it.  Toward  noon  rode  up  to  the  Indians  in 
order  to  preach  to  them ;  and  while  going  my  heart 
went  up  to  God  in  prayer  for  them  ;  could  freely  tell 
God  he  knew  that  the  cause  in  which  I  was  engaged 
was  not  mine  ;  but  that  it  was  his  own  cause,  and  that 
it  would  be  for  his  own  glory  to  convert  the  poor  In- 
dians :  and  blessed  be  God  I  felt  no  desire  of  their 
conversion  that  f  might  receive  honor  from  the  world 
as  being  the  instrument  of  it.  Had  some  freedom  in 
speaking  to  the  Indians. 

June  30. — "  My  soul  was  very  solemn  in  reading 
God's  word,  especially  the  ninth  chapter  of  Daniel.  I 
saw  how  God  had  called  out  his  servants  to  prayer, 
and  made  them  wrestle  with  him,  when  he  designed 
to  bestow  any  great  mercy  on  his  church.  And,  alas! 
I  was  ashamed  of  myself  to  think  of  myduHness  and 
inactivity  when  there  seemed  to  be  so  much  to  do  for 
the  upbuilding  of  Zion.  O  how  does  Zion  he  waste ! 
I  longed  that  the  church  of  God  might  be  enlarged ; 
was  enabled  to  pray,  I  think,  in  faith ;  my  soul  seemed 
sensibly  to  confide  in  God,  and  was  enabled  to  wrestle 
with  him.  Afterward  walked  abroad  to  a  place  of 
sweet  retirement ;  enjoyed  some  assistance  in  prayer, 
had  a  sense  of  my  great  need  of  divine  help,  and  felt 
my  soul  sensibly  depend  on  God.  Blessed  be  God, 
this  has  been  a  comfortable  week  to  me. 

Lord's  day,  July  1. — "  After  I  came  to  them  my 
mind  was  confused,  and  I  felt  nothing  sensibly  of  that 
sweet  reliance  on  God  with  which  my  soul  has  been 
comforted  in  days  past.  Spent  the  forenoon  in  this 
posture  of  mind,  and  preached  to  the  Indians  without 
any  heart.  In  the  afternoon  I  felt  still  barren  when  I 
began  to  preach,  and  for  about  half  an  hour:  I  seemed 


1744.J         AT  FORKS  OP  DELAWARE.  99 

to  myself  to  know  nothing,  and  to  have  nothing  to 
say  to  the  Indians ;  but  soon  after  I  found  in  myself  a 
spirit  of  love,  and  warmth,  and  power,  to  address  the 
poor  Indians,  and  God  helped  me  to  plead  with  them, 
to  '  turn  from  all  the  vanities  of  the  heathen  to  the 
living  God ;'  I  am  persuaded  that  the  Lord  touched 
their  consciences;  for  I  never  saw  such  attention 
raised  in  them.  When  I  came  away  from  them,  I 
spent  the  whole  time  I  was  riding  to  my  lodgings, 
three  miles  distant,  in  prayer  and  praise  to  God.  After 
I  had  rode  more  than  two  miles  it  came  into  my  mind 
to  dedicate  myself  to  God  again,  which  I  did  with 
great  solemnity  and  unspeakable  satisfaction ;  espe- 
cially gave  up  myself  to  him  renewedly  in  the  work 
of  the  ministry.  This  I  did  by  divine  grace,  I  hope, 
without  any  exception  or  reserve;  not  in  the  least 
shrinking  back  from  any  difficulties  that  might  attend 
this  great  and  blessed  work.  I  seemed  to  be  most  free, 
cheerful,  and  full  in  this  dedication  of  myself.  My 
whole  soul  cried,  '  Lord,  to  thee  I  dedicate  myself !  O 
accept  of  me,  and  let  me  be  thine  for  ever.  Lord,  I 
desire  nothing  else ;  I  desire  nothing  more.  O  come, 
co:ne,  Lord,  accept  a  poor  worm.  My  heart  rejoiced 
in  my  particular  work  as  a  missionamj  ;  rejoiced  in  my 
necessity  of  self-denial  in  many  respects,  and  I  still 
continued  to  give  up  myself  to  God,  and  to  implore 
mercy  of  him,  praying  incessantly  every  moment  with 
sweet  fervency.  My  nature  being  very  weak  of  late, 
and  much  spent,  was  now  considerably  overcome :  my 
fingers  grew  very  feeble,  and  somewhat  numb,  so  that 
I  could  scarcely  stretch  them  out  straight,  and  when  I 
lighted  from  my  horse  could  hardly  walk ;  my  joints 
seemed  all  to  be  loosed.  But  I  felt  abundant  strength 
in  the  inner  man.  Preached  to  the  white  people ;  God 


100  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI 

helped  me  much,  especially  in  prayer.  Sundry  of  my 
poor  Indians  were  so  moved  as  to  come  to  meeting 
also,  and  one  appeared  much  concerned. 

July  3. — "  Was  still  very  weak.  This  morning  was 
enabled  to  pray  under  a  feeling  sense  of  my  need  of 
help  from  God,  and  I  trust  had  some  faith  in  exercise ; 
and,  blessed  be  God,  was  enabled  to  plead  with  him  a 
considerable  time.  Truly  God  is  good  to  me.  But 
my  soul  mourned,  and  was  grieved  at  my  sinfulness 
and  barrenness,  and  longed  to  be  more  engaged  for 
God.  Near  nine,  withdrew  again  for  prayer,  and 
through  divine  goodness  had  the  blessed  spirit  oi 
prayer  ;  my  soul  loved  the  duty,  and  longed  for  God 
in  it.  O  it  is  sweet  to  be  (he  Lords,  to  be  sensibly  de- 
voted to  him!  What  a  blessed  portion  is  God!  How 
glorious,  how  lovely  in  himself!  O  my  soul  longed  to 
improve  time  wholly  for  God  !  Spent  most  of  the  day 
in  translating  prayers  into  Indian.  In  the  evening 
was  enabled  again  to  wrestle  with  God  in  prayer  with 
fervency.  Was  enabled  to  maintain  a  self-diffident 
and  watchful  frame  of  spirit,  and  was  jealous,  and 
afraid  lest  I  should  admit  carelessness  and  self-con- 
fidence. 

July  6. — "  Awoke  this  morning  in  the  fear  of  God, 
and  spent  my  first  waking  minutes  in  prayer  for  sanc- 
tification,  that  my  soul  may  be  washed  from  its  ex- 
ceeding pollution  and  defilement.  After  I  arose  I  spent 
some  time  in  reading  God's  word,  and  in  prayer.  I 
cried  to  God  under  a  sense  of  my  great  indigence.  I 
am  of  late  most  of  all  concerned  for  ministerial  quali- 
fications, and  the  conversion  of  the  heathen.  Last 
year  I  longed  to  be  prepared  for  a  world  of  glory,  and 
speedily  to  depart  out  of  this  world  ;  but  of  late  all  my 
concern  almost  is  for  the  conversion  of  the  heathen, 


fc*' 


1744.J  AT    FORKS    OF    DELAWARE.  101 

and  for  that  end  I  long  to  live.  But  blessed  be  God  I 
have  less  desire  to  live  for  any  of  the  pleasures  of  the 
world  than  I  ever  had.  I  long  and  love  to  be  a  pil- 
grim, and  want  grace  to  imitate  the  life,  labors  and 
sufferings  of  St.  Paul  among  the  heathen.  And  when 
I  long  for  holiness  now,  it  is  not  so  much  for  myself 
as  formerly,  but  rather  thereby  I  may  become  an  'able 
minister  of  the  New  Testament,'  especially  to  the 
heathen. 

July  7. — "  Was  very  much  disordered  this  morning, 
and  my  vigor  all  spent  and  exhausted ;  but  was  affect- 
ed and  refreshed  in  reading  the  sweet  story  of  Elijah's 
translation,  and  enjoyed  some  affection  and  fervency  in 
prayer  ;  longed  much  for  ministerial  gifts  and  graces, 
that  I  might  do  something  in  the  cause  of  God.  After- 
ward was  refreshed  and  invigorated  while  reading 
ALLEINE'S  first  Case  of  Conscience,  &c. — was  enabled 
then  to  pray  with  some  ardor  of  soul — was  afraid  of 
carelessness  and  self-confidence,  and  longed  for  ho- 
liness. 

Lord's  day,  July  8. — "  Was  ill  last  night — not  able 
to  rest  quietly.  Had  some  small  degree  of  assistance 
in  preaching  to  the  Indians,  and  afterward  was  enabled 
to  preach  to  the  white  people  with  some  power,  espe- 
cially in  the  close  of  my  discourse,  from  Jer.  3  :  23. 
'  Truly  in  vain  is  salvation  hoped  for  from  the  hills,' 
&c.  The  Lord  also  assisted  me  in  some  measure  in 
the  first  prayer;  blessed  be  his  name.  Near  night, 
though  very  weary,  was  enabled  to  read  God's  word 
with  some  sweet  relish  of  it,  and  to  pray  with  affec- 
tion, fervency,  and  I  trust  with  faith ;  my  soul  was 
more  sensibly  dependant  on  God  than  usual.  Was 
watchful,  tender,  and  jealous  of  my  own  heart,  lest  I 
should  admit  carelessness  and  vain  thoughts,  and 


102  LIKE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI 

grieve  the  blessed  Spirit,  so  that  he  should  withdraw 
his  sweet,  kind,  and  tender  influences.  Longed  to 
'  depart,  and  be  with  Christ,'  more  than  at  any  lime 
of  late.  My  soul  was  exceedingly  united  to  the  saints 
of  ancient  times,  as  well  as  those  now  living ;  espe- 
cially my  soul  melted  for  the  society  of  Elijah  and 
Elisha.  Was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  with  a  child-like 
spirit,  and  to  continue  instant  in  prayer  for  some  time. 
Was  much  enlarged  in  the  sweet  duty  of  interces- 
sion ;  was  enabled  to  remember  great  numbers  of  dear 
friends,  and  precious  souls,  as  well  as  Christ's  minis- 
ters. Continued  in  this  frame,  afraid  of  every  idle 
thought,  till  I  dropped  asleep. 

July  21. — "  This  morning  1  was  greatly  oppressed 
with  guilt  and  shame  from1  a  sense  of  inward  vileness 
and  pollution.  About  nine  withdrew  to  the  woods  for 
prayer,  but  had  not  much  comfort;  I  appeared  to 
myself  the  vilest,  meanest  creature  upon  earth,  and 
could  scarcely  live  with  myself;  so  mean  and  vile  I 
appeared,  that  I  thought  I  should  never  be  able  to  hold 
up  my  face  in  heaven,  if  God,  of  his  infinite  grace> 
should  bring  me  thither.  Toward  night  my  burden 
respecting  my  work  among  the  Indians  began  to  in- 
crease much,  and  was  aggravated  by  hearing  sundry 
things  which  looked  very  discouraging,  in  particular 
that  they  intended  to  meet  together  the  next  day  for 
an  idolatrous  feast  and  dance.  Then  I  began  to  be  in 
anguish  ;  I  thought  that  I  must  in  conscience  go  and 
endeavor  to  break  them  up,  yet  knew  not  how  to 
attempt  such  a  thing.  However,  I  withdrew  for  prayer, 
hoping  for  strength  from  above.  In  prayer  I  was  ex- 
ceedingly enlarged,  and  my  soul  was  as  much  drawn 
out  as  I  ever  remember  it  to  have  been  in  my  life.  I 
was  in  such  anguish,  and  pleaded  with  such  earnest' 


1744.J         AT  FORKS  OF  DELAWARE.  103 

ness  and  importunity,  that  when  I  rose  from  my  knees 
I  felt  extremely  weak  and  overcome ;  I  could  scarcely 
walk  straight ;  my  joints  were  loosed  ;  the  sweat  ran 
down  my  face  and  body,  and  nature  seemed  as  if  it 
would  dissolve.  So  far  as  I  could  judge,  I  was  wholly 
free  from  selfish  ends  in  my  fervent  supplications  for 
the  poor  Indians.  I  knew  that  they  were  met  together 
to  worship  devils,  and  not  God;  and  this  made  me 
cry  earnestly  that  God  would  now  appear  and  help  me 
in  my  attempts  to  break  up  this  idolatrous  meeting. 
My  soul  pleaded  long,  and  I  thought  that  God  would 
hear,  and  would  go  with  me  to  vindicate  his  own 
cause :  I  seemed  to  confide  in  God  for  his  presence 
and  assistance.  And  thus  I  spent  the  evening,  praying 
incessantly  for  divine  assistance,  and  that  I  might  not 
be  self-dependent,  but  still  have  my  whole  dependance 
upon  God.  What  I  passed  through  was  remarkable, 
and  indeed  inexpressible.  All  things  here  below  van- 
ished, and  tkere  appeared  to  be  nothing  of  any  con- 
siderable importance  to  me,  but  holiness  of  heart  and 
life,  and  the  conversion  of  the  heathen  to  God.  All 
my  cares,  fears  and  desires,  which  might  be  said  to  be 
of  a  worldly  nature,  disappeared,  and  were,  in  my 
esteem,  of  little  more  importance  than  a  puff  of  wind. 
I  exceedingly  longed  that  God  would  get  to  himself  a 
name  among  the  heathen ;  and  I  appealed  to  him  with 
the  greatest  freedom,  that  he  knew  I  '  preferred  him 
above  my  chief  joy.'  Indeed,  I  had  no  notion  of  joy 
from  this  world  ;  I  cared  not  where  or  how  I  lived,  or 
what  hardships  I  went  through,  so  that  I  could  but 
gain  souls  to  Christ.  I  continued  in  this  frame  all  the 
evening  and  night.  While  I  was  asleep  I  dreamed  of 
these  things;  and  when  I  waked,  (as  I  frequently  did,) 
the  first  thing  I  thought  of  was  this  great  work  of 
pleading  for  God  against  Satan. 


104  LIFE   OF   BRA1NERD  [Chap.  VI. 

Lord's  day.  Jidy  22. — "  When  I  waked  my  soul  was 
burdened  with  what  seemed  to  be  before  me.  I  cried 
to  God,  before  I  could  get  out  of  my  bed  ;  and  as  soon 
as  I  was  dressed  I  withdrew  into  the  woods,  to  pour 
out  my  burdened  soul  to  God,  especially  for  assistance 
in  my  great  work  ;  for  I  could  scarcely  think  of  any 
thing  else.  I  enjoyed  the  same  freedom  and  fervency 
as  the  last  evening  ;  and  did  with  unspeakable  freedom 
give  up  myself  afresh  to  God,  for  life  or  death,  for  all 
hardships  to  which  'he  should  call  me,  among  the 
heathen ;  and  felt  as  if  nothing  could  discourage  me 
from  this  blessed  work.  I  had  a  strong  hope  that  God 
would  '  bow  the  heavens  and  come  down,'  and  do 
some  marvellous  work  among  the  heathen.  "While  I 
was  riding  to  the  Indians,  three  miles,  my  heart  was 
continually  going  up  to  God  for  his  presence  and  as- 
sistance ;  and  hoping,  and  almost  expecting,  that  God 
would  make  this  the  day  of  his  power  and  grace 
amongst  the  poor  Indians.  When  I  came  to  them,  I 
found  them  engaged  in  their  frolic  ;  but  through  divine 
goodness  I  persuaded  them  to  desist  and  attend  to  my 
preaching :  yet  still  there  appeared  nothing  of  the 
special  power  of  God  among  them.  Preached  again 
to  them  in  the  afternoon,  and  observed  the  Indians 
were  more  sober  than  before;  but  still  saw  nothing 
special  among  them.  Hence  satan  took  occasion  to 
tempt  and  buffet  me  with  these  cursed  suggestions, 
There  is  no  God,  or  if  there  be,  he  is  not  able  to  con- 
vert the  Indians,  before  they  have  more  knowledge, 
&c.  I  was  very  weak  and  weary,  and  my  soul  borne 
down  with  perplexity;  but  was  mortified  to  all  the 
world,  and  was  determined  still  to  wait  upon  God  for 
the  conversion  of  the  heathen,  though  the  devil  tempt- 
ed me  to  the  contrary. 


1744.J         AT  FOHKS  OF  DELAWARE.  105 

July  24. — "  Rode  about  seventeen  miles  westward, 
over  a  hideous  mountain,  to  a  number  of  Indians.  Got 
together  near  thirty  of  them  :  preached  to  them  in  the 
evening,  and  lodged  among  them.  Was  weak,  and 
felt  in  some  degree  disconsolate ;  yet  could  have  no 
freedom  in  the  thought  of  any  other  circumstances  or 
business  in  life.  All  my  desire  was  the  conversion  of 
the  heathen ;  and  all  my  hope  was  in  God.  God  does 
not  suffer  me  to  please  or  comfort  myself  with  hopes 
of  seeing  friends,  returning  to  my  dear  acquaintance, 
and  enjoying  worldly  comforts. 

Lord's  day,  August  5. — "  Though  very  weak,  I  vi- 
sited and  preached  to  the  poor  Indians  twice,  and  was 
strengthened  vastly  beyond  my  expectations.  Indeed 
the  Lord  gave  me  some  freedom  and  fervency  in  ad- 
dressing them  ;  though  I  had  not  strength  enough  to 
stand,  but  was  obliged  to  sit  down  the  whole  time. 
Toward  night  was  extremely  weak,  faint,  sick,  and  full 
of  pain.  I  seem  to  'myself  like  a  man  that  has  all  his 
estate  embarked  in  one  small  boat,  unhappily  going 
adrift  down  a  swift  torrent.  The  poor  owner  stands 
on  the  shore,  and  looks,  and  laments  his  loss.  But, 
alas  !  though  my  all  seems  to  be  adrift,  and  I  stand  and 
see  it,  I  dare  not  lament ;  for  this  sinks  my  spirits 
more,  and  aggravates  my  bodily  disorders !  I  am 
forced,  therefore,  to  divert  myself  with  trifles ;  al- 
though at  the  same  time  I  am  afraid,  and  often  feel  as 
if  I  was  guilty  of  the  misimprovement  of  time.  And 
oftentimes  my  conscience  is  so  exercised  with  this  mi- 
serable way  of  spending  time,  that  I  have  no  peace ; 
though  I  have  no  strength  of  mind  or  body  to  improve 
it  to  better  purpose.  O  that  God  would  pity  my  dis- 
tressed state  !" 

The  next  three  weeks  his  illness  was  less  severe ; 


106  LIFE    OF    BRAINEKD.  [Chap.    VI. 

and  he  was  in  some  degree  capable  of  business,  both 
public  and  private,  though  he  had  some  turns  wherein 
his  indisposition  prevailed  to  a  great  degree.  He  had 
generally  also  much  more  inward  assistance  and 
strength  of  mind.  He  often  expresses  great  longings 
for  the  enlargement  of  Christ's  kingdom,  especially 
by  the  conversion  of  the  heathen  to  God  ;  and  speaks 
of  this  hope  as  all  his  delight  and  joy.  He  continues 
still  to  express  his  usual  desires  after  holiness,  living 
to  God,  and  a  sense  of  his  own  unworthiness.  He 
several  times  speaks  of  his  appearing  to  himself  the 
vilest  creature  on  earth  ;  and  once  says,  that  he  verily 
thought  there  were  none  of  God's  children  who  fell 
so  far  short  of  that  holiness,  and  perfection  in  their 
obedience,  which  God  requires,  as  he.  He  speaks  of 
his  feeling  more  dead  than  ever  to  the  enjoyments  of 
the  world.  He  sometimes  mentions  the  special  assist- 
ance which  he  had  at  this  time,  in  preaching  to  the 
Indians,  and  the  appearances  of  religious  concern 
among  them.  He  speaks  also  of  assistance  in  prayer 
for  absent  friends,  and  especially  ministers  and  can- 
didates for  the  ministry  ;  and  of  much  comfort  which 
he  enjoyed  in  the  company  of  some  ministers  who 
came  to  visit  him. 

Sept.  1. — "  Was  so  far  strengthened,  after  a  season 
of  great  weakness,  that  I  was  able  to  spend  two  or 
three  hours  in  writing  on  a  divine  subject.  Enjoyed 
some  comfort  and  sweetness  in  things  divine  and  sa- 
cred ;  and  as  my  bodily  strength  was  in  some  measure 
restored,  so  my  soul  seemed  to  be  somewhat  vigorous, 
and  engaged  in  the  things  of  God. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  2. — "  Was  enabled  to  speak  to  my 
poor  Indians  with  much  concern  and  fervency ;  and  1 
am  persuaded  that  God  enabled  me  to  exercise  faith  in 


1744.J         AT  FORKS  OF  DELAWARE.  107 

him.  while  I  was  speaking  to  them.  I  perceived  that 
some  of  them  were  afraid  to  hearken  to  and  embrace 
Christianity,  lest  they  should  be  enchanted  and  poi- 
soned by  some  of  the  powaws :  but  I  was  enabled  to 
plead  with  them  not  to  fear  these ;  and,  confiding  in 
God  for  safety  and  deliverance,  I  bid  a  challenge  to  all 
these  powers  of  darkness,  to  do  their  worst  on  me  first. 
I  told  my  people  that  I  was  a  Christian,  and  asked 
them  why  the  powaws  did  not  bewitch  and  poison  me. 
I  scarcely  ever  felt  more  sensible  of  my  own  unwor- 
thmess,  than  in  this  action.  I  saw  that  the  honor  of 
God  was  concerned ;  and  desired  to  be  preserved — not 
from  selfish  views — but  for  a  testimony  of  the  divine 
power  and  goodness,  and  of  the  truth  of  Christianity, 
and  that  God  might  be  glorified.  Afterward,  I  found 
my  soul  rejoice  in  God  for  his  assisting  grace." 

After  this,  he  went  a  journey  into  New-England,  and 
was  absent  from  the  place  of  his  abode,  at  the  Forks 
of  Delaware,  about  three  weeks.  He  was  in  a  feeble 
state  the  greater  part  of  the  time.  But  in  the  latter 
of  the  journey  he  found  that  he  gained  much  in  health 
and  strength. 

Sept.  26. — "  Rode  home  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware. 
What  reason  have  I  to  bless  God,  who  has  preserved 
me  in  riding  more  than  four  hundred  and  twenty 
miles,  and  has  '  kept  all  my  bones,  that  not  one  of 
them  has  been  broken  !'  My  health  likewise  is  great- 
ly recovered.  O  that  I  could  dedicate  my  all  to  God  ! 
This  is  all  the  return  I  can  make  to  him." 

When  he  began  to  preach  here,  he  had  not  more 
than  from  twenty  to  twenty-five  hearers;  their  num- 
bers at  length  increased  to  forty,  or  more ;  and  often 
most  belonging  to  those  parts  came  together  to  hear 
him  preach.  In  a  letter  to  Rev.  Mr.  Pemberton,  he  says 


108  UFE    OF   BRAINERD.  IChap.  VI 

"  The  effects  which  the  truths  of  God's  word  have  had 
upon  some  of  the  Indians  in  this  place,  are  somewha' 
encouraging.  A  number  of  them  are  brought  to  re- 
nounce idolatry,  and  to  decline  partaking  of  those 
feasts  which  they  used  to  offer  in  sacrifice  to  certain 
supposed  unknown  powers.  And  some  few  among 
them  have,  for  a  considerable  time,  manifested  a  se- 
rious concern  for  their  soul's  eternal  welfare,  and  still 
continue  to  '  inquire  the  way  to  Zion,'  with  such  dili- 
gence, affection,  and  becoming  solicitude,  as  gives  me 
reason  to  hope  that  '  God  who,  I  trust,  has  begun  this 
work  in  them,'  will  carry  it  on,  until  it  shall  issue  in 
their  saving  conversion  to  himself.  These  not  only 
detest  their  old  idolatrous  notions,  but  strive  also  to 
bring  their  friends  off  from  them.  And  as  they  are 
seeking  salvation  for  their  own  souls,  so  they  seem  de- 
sirous, and  some  of  them  take  pains,  that  others  might 
be  excited  to  do  the  same. 

"  There  are  also  many  difficulties,  that  attend  the 
christianizing  of  these  poor  pagans. 

"  In  the  first  place,  their  minds  are  filled  with  pre- 
judices against  Christianity,  on  account  of  the  vicious 
lives  and  unchristian  behavior  of  some  that  are  called 
Christians.  These  not  only  set  before  them  the  worst 
examples,  but  some  of  them  take  pains,  expressly  in 
words,  to  dissuade  them  from  becoming  Christians, 
foreseeing  that  if  these  should  be  converted  to  God, 
'  the  hope  of  their  unlawful  gain'  would  thereby  be  lost. 

"  Again :  these  poor  heathens  are  extremely  attached 
to  the  customs,  traditions,  and  f obvious  notions  of  their 
fathers.  And  this  one  seems  to  be  the  foundation  of 
all  their  other  notions,  viz.  that  '  it  was  not  the  same 
God  made  them,  who  made  the  white  people,'  but 
another,  who  commanded  them  to  live  by  hunting 


1744.J  AT   FORKS   OF   DELAWARE.  109 

&c.,  and  not  to  conform  to  the  customs  of  the  white 
people.  Hence,  when  they  are  desired  to  become 
Christians,  they  frequently  reply,  that  '  they  will  live 
as  their  fathers  lived,  and  go  to  their  fathers  when 
they  die.'  And  if  the  miracles  of  Christ  and  his  apos- 
tles be  mentioned  to  prove  the  truth  of  Christianity, 
they  also  mention  sundry  miracles  which  their  fathers 
have  told  them  were  anciently  wrought  among  the 
Indians,  and  which  satan  makes  them  believe  were 
so.  They  are  much  attached  to  idolatry,  frequently 
making  feasts,  which  they  eat  in  honor  to  some  un- 
known, beings,  who,  they  suppose,  speak  to  them  in 
dreams;  promising  them  success  in  hunting,  and  other 
affairs,  in  case  they  will  sacrifice  to  them.  They  often- 
times also  offer  their  sacrifices  to  the  spirits  of  the 
dead,  who,  they  suppose,  stand  in  need  of  favors  from 
the  living,  and  yet  are  in  such  a  state  as  that  they  can 
well  reward  all  the  offices  of  kindness  that  are  shown 
them.  And  they  impute  all  their  calamities  to  the 
neglect  of  these  sacrifices. 

"  Furthermore,  they  are  much  awed  by  those  among 
themselves  who  are  called  po-waws,  who  are  supposed 
to  have  a  power  of  enchanting,  or  poisoning  them  to 
death,  or  at  least  in  a  very  distressing  manner.  And 
they  apprehended  it  would  be  their  sad  fate  to  be  thus 
enchanted  in  case  they  should  become  Christians. 

"  The  manner  of  their  living"  is  likewise  a  great  dis- 
advantage to  the  design  of  their  being  christianized. 
They  are  almost  continually  roving  from  place  to 
place,  and  it  is  but  rare  that  an  opportunity  can  be 
had  with  some  of  them  for  their  instruction." 

Oct.  1. — "  Was  engaged  in  making  preparations  for 
my  intended  journey  to  the  Susquehanna.  "Withdrew 


110  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   VI 

several  times  to  the  woods  for  secret  duties,  and  en- 
deavored to  plead  for  the  divine  presence  to  go  with 
me  to  the  poor  Pagans,  to  whom  I  was  going  to  preach 
the  Gospel.  Toward  night  rode  about  four  miles,  and 
met  brother  Byram,  who  was  come  at  my  desire  to  be 
my  companion  in  travel  to  the  Indians.  I  rejoiced  to 
see  him,  and  I  trust  God  made  his  conversation  profit- 
able to  me.  I  saw  him,  as  I  thought,  more  dead  to  the 
world,  its  anxious  cares  and  alluring  objects,  than  I 
was;  and  this  made  me  look  within  myself,  and  gave 
me  a  greater  sense  of  my  guilt,  ingratitude,  and  misery. 

Oct.  2. — "  Set  out  on  my  journey  in  company  with 
dear  brother  Byram  and  my  interpreter,  and  two  chief 
Indians  from  the  Forks  of  Delaware.  Traveled  about 
twenty-five  miles,  and  lodged  in  one  of  the  last  houses 
on  our  road;  after  which  there  was  nothing  but  a 
hideous  and  howling  wilderness. 

Oct.  3. — "  We  went  on  our  way  into  the  wilderness, 
and  found  the  most  difficult  and  dangerous  traveling 
by  far,  that  ever  any  of  us  had  seen.  We  had  scarce 
any  thing  else  but  lofty  mountains,  deep  valleys,  and 
hideous  rocks,  to  make  our  way  through.  However, 
I  had  some  spiritual  enjoyment  part  of  the  day,  and 
my  mind  intensely  engaged  in  meditation  on  a  divine 
subject.  Near  night  my  horse  hung  one  of  her  legs 
in  the  rocks  and  fell  down  under  me,  but  through 
divine  goodness  I  was  not  hurt.  However,  she  broke 
her  leg  ;  and  being  in  sucli  a  hideous  place,  and  near 
thirty  miles  from  any  house,  I  saw  nothing  that  could 
be  done  to  preserve  her  life,  and  so  was  obliged  to  kill 
her,  and  to  prosecute  my  journey  on  foot.  This  acci- 
dent made  me  admire  the  divine  goodness  to  me  that 
my  bones  were  not  broken,  and  the  multitude  of  them 
filled  with  strong  pain.  Just  at  dark  we  kindled  a  fire, 


1744.]  JOURNEY   TO   SUSCIUEHANNA.  Ill 

cut  up  a  few  bushes,  and  made  a  shelter  over  our  heads 
to  save  us  from  the  frost,  which  was  very  hard  that 
night,  and  committing  ourselves  to  God  by  prayer, 
we  lay  down  on  ihe  ground  and  slept  quietly." 

The  next  day  they  went  forward  on  their  journey, 
and  at  night  took  up  their  lodgings  in  the  woods  in 
like  manner. 

Oct.  5. — "  We  reached  the  Susquehanna  river  at  a 
place  called  Opeholhaupung;  and  found  there  twelve 
Indian  houses.  After  I  had  saluted  the  king  in  a 
friendly  manner  I  told  him  my  business,  and  that  my 
desire  was  to  teach  them  Christianity.  After  some 
consultation  the  Indians  gathered,  and  I  preached  to 
them.  And  when  I  had  done  I  asked  if  they  would 
hear  me  again.  They  replied  that  they  would  consider 
of  it,  and  soon  after  sent  me  word  that  they  would  im- 
mediately attend  if  I  would  preach,  which  I  did  with 
freedom,  both  times.  When  I  asked  them  again, 
whether  they  would  hear  me  further,  they  replied,  they 
would  the  next  day.  I  was  exceeding  sensible  of  the 
impossibility  of  doing  any  thing  for  the  poor  Heathen 
without  special  assistance  from  above  ;  and  my  soul 
seemed  to  rest  on  God,  and  leave  it  to  him  to  do  as  he 
pleased  in  that  which  I  saw  was  his  own  cause.  In- 
deed, through  divine  goodness,  I  had  felt  somewhat 
of  this  frame  most  of  the  time  while  I  was  traveling 
thither ;  and  in  some  measure  before  I  set  out. 

Oct.  6. — "  Rose  early  and  besought  the  Lord  for 
help  in  my  great  work.  Near  noon,  preached  again 
to  the  Indians;  and  in  the  afternoon  visited  them  from 
house  to  house,  and  invited  them  to  come  and  hear  me 
again  the  next  day,  and  put  off  their  hunting  design 
which  they  were  just  entering  upon,  till  Monday 
'  This  night '  I  trust,  '  the  Lord  stood  by  me,'  to  en- 


112  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI 

courage  and  strengthen  ray  soul :  I  spent  more  than 
an  hour  in  secret  retirement ;  was  enabled  to  '  pour  out 
my  heart  before  God,'  for  the  increase  of  grace  in  my 
soul,  for  ministerial  endowments,  for  success  among 
the  poor  Indians,  for  God's  ministers  and  people,  for 
distant  dear  friends,  &c.  Blessed  be  God ! 

Oct.  8. — "  Visited  the  Indians  with  a  design  to  take 
my  leave  of  them,  supposing  they  would  this  morning 
go  out  to  hunting  early  ;  but  beyond  my  expectation 
and  hope,  they  desired  to  hear  me  preach  again.  1 
gladly  complied  with  their  request,  and  afterward  en- 
deavored to  answer  their  objections  against  Christianity. 

Oct.  9. — "  We  rose  about  four  in  the  morning,  and 
commending  ourselves  to  God  by  prayer,  and  asking 
his  special  protection,  set  out  on  our  journey  home- 
ward about  five,  and  traveled  with  great  steadiness  till 
past  six  at  night ;  and  then  made  us  a  fire  and  a  shelter 
of  bark,  and  so  rested.  I  had  some  clear  and  comfor- 
table thoughts  on  a  divine  subject,  by  the  way,  toward 
night.  In  the  night,  the  wolves  howled  around  us; 
but  God  preserved  us." 

The  next  day  they  rose  early,  and  at  night  came  to 
an  Irish  settlement,  with  which  Brainerd  was  ac- 
quainted, and  lodged  there.  On  the  following  day 
both  he  and  Mr.  By  ram  preached  to  the  people. 

Oct.  12. — "  Rode  home  to  my  lodgings ;  where  I 
poured  out  my  soul  to  God  in  secret  prayer,  and  en- 
deavored to  bless  him  for  his  abundant  goodness  to  me 
in  my  late  journey.  I  scarcely  ever  enjoyed  more 
health,  at  least  of  later  years ;  and  God  marvellously 
and  almost  miraculously,  supported  me  under  the  fa- 
tigues of  the  way,  and  traveling  on  foot.  Blessed  be 
the  Lord,  who  continually  preserves  me. 

Lord's  day,  Oct.  14. — "  I  went  to  the  place  of  public 


1744.J         AT  FORKS  OF  DELAWARE.  113 

worship,  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God  for  assistance  and 
grace,  in  my  great  work ;  and  God  was  gracious  to  me: 
helping  me  to  plead  with  him  for  holiness,  and  to  use 
the  strongest  arguments  with  him,  drawn  from  the  in- 
carnation and  sufferings  of  Christ,  for  this  very  end, 
that  men  might  be  made  holy.  Afterward,  I  was  much 
assisted  in  preaching.  I  know  not  that  ever  God 
helped  me  to  preach  in  a  more  close  and  distinguishing 
manner  for  the  trial  of  men's  state.  Through  the  infi- 
nite goodness  of  God,  I  felt  what  I  spoke  ;  and  he  ena- 
bled me  to  treat  on  divine  truth  with  uncommon 
clearness. 

Oct.  24 — "  Near  noon,  rode  to  my  people ;  spent 
some  time,  and  prayed  with  them  ;  felt  the  frame  of  a 
pilgrim  on  earth ;  longed  much  to  leave  this  gloomy 
mansion ;  but  yet  found  the  exercise  of  patience  and 
resignation.  And  as  I  returned  home  from  the  In- 
dians, spent  the  whole  time  in  lifting  up  my  heart  to 
God.  In  the  evening  enjoyed  a  blessed  season  alone 
in  prayer;  was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  with  a  child-like 
spirit,  for  the  space  of  near  an  hour;  enjoyed  a  sweet 
freedom  in  supplicating  for  myself,  for  dear  friends, 
ministers,  and  some  who  are  preparing  for  that  work, 
and  for  the  church  of  God;  and  longed  to  be  as  lively 
myself  in  God's  service  as  the  angels. 

Oct.  26. — "  In  the  morning  my  soul  was  melted 
with  a  sense  of  divine  goodness  and  mercy  to  such  a 
vile  unworthy  worm.  I  delighted  to  lean  upon  God, 
and  place  my  whole  trust  in  him.  My  soul  was  ex- 
ceedingly grieved  for  sin,  and  prized  and  longed  after 
holiness  ;  it  wounded  my  heart  deeply,  yet  sweetly,  to 
think  how  I  had  abused  a  kind  God.  I  longed  to  be 
perfectly  holy  that  I  might  not  grieve  a  gracious  God; 
who  will  continue  to  love  notwithstanding  Ms  love  h 

Brainerd.  8 


114  LIFE   OF   BRAINEHD.  [Chap.  VI 

abused !  I  longed  for  holiness  more  for  this  end  than 
I  did  for  my  own  happiness'  sake ;  and  yet  this  was 
my  greatest  happiness,  never  more  to  dishonor,  but 
always  to  glorify  the  blessed  God. 

Oct.  31. — "  Was  sensible  of  my  barrenness  and  de- 
cays in  the  things  of  God:  my  soul  failed  when  I 
remembered  the  fervency  which  I  had  enjoyed  at  the 
throne  of  grace.  O,  I  thought,  if  I  could  but  be  spiri- 
tual, warm,  heavenly  minded,  and  affectionately  breath- 
ing after  God,  this  would  be  better  than  life  to  me  ! 
My  soul  longed  exceedingly  for  death,  to  be  loosed 
from  this  dullness  and  barrenness,  and  made  for  ever 
active  in  the  service  of  God.  I  seemed  to  live  for  no- 
thing, and  to  do  no  good :  and  O  the  burden  of  such 
a  life !  O  death,  death,  my  kind  friend,  hasten  and 
deliver  me  from  dull  mortality,  and  make  me  spiritual 
and  vigorous  to  eternity  !" 

Nov.  5. — He  set  out  on  a  journey  to  New- York,  and 
was  from  home  more  than  a  fortnight.  He  was  ex- 
posed to  cold  and  storms,  became  greatly  fatigued, 
and  when  he  returned  from  New- York  to  New-Jersey 
was  taken  ill,  and  detained  some  time. 

Nov.  21. — "  Rode  from  Newark  to  Rockciticus  in  the 
cold,  and  was  almost  overcome  with  it.  Enjoyed  some 
sweetness  in  conversation  with  dear  Mr.  Jones,  while 
I  dined  with  him.  My  soul  loves  the.  people  of  God, 
and  especially  the  ministers  of  Jesus  Christ  who  feel 
the  same  trials  that  I  do. 

Nov.  22. — "  Came  on  my  way  from  Rockciticus  to 
the  Delaware.  Was  very  much  disordered  with  a 
cold  and  pain  in  my  head.  About  six  at  night  I  lost 
my  way  in  the  wilderness,  and  wandered  over  rocks 
and  mountains,  down  hideous  steeps,  through  swamps 
and  most  dreadful  and  dangerous  places;  and  the  night 


1744.J         AT  FORKS  OF  DELAWARE.  115 

being  dark,  so  that  few  stars  could  be  seen,  I  was 
greatly  exposed.  I  was  much  pinched  with  cold,  and 
distressed  with  pain  in  my  head,  attended  with  sick- 
ness at  my  stomach  ;  so  that  every  step  I  took  was  dis- 
tressing to  me.  I  had  little  hope,  for  several  hours 
together,  but  that  I  must  lie  out  in  the  woods  all  night 
in  this  distressed  case.  But  about  nine  o'clock  I  found 
a  house,  through  the  abundant  goodness  of  God,  and 
was  kindly  entertained.  Thus  I  have  frequently  been 
exposed,  and  sometimes  lain  out  the  whole  night :  but 
God  has  hitherto  preserved  me ;  and  blessed  be  his 
name.  Such  fatigues  and  hardships  as  these  serve  to 
wean  me  from  the  earth ;  and  I  trust  will  make  heaven 
the  sweeter.  Formerly,  when  I  was  thus  exposed  to 
cold,  rain,  &c.  I  was  ready  to  please  myself  with  the 
thoughts  of  enjoying  a  comfortable  house,  a  warm 
fire,  and  other  outward  comforts  ;  but  now  these  have 
less  place  in  my  heart,  (through  the  grace  of  God,) 
and  my  eye  is  more  to  God  for  comfort.  In  this  world 
I  expect  tribulation  ;  and  it  does  not  now,  as  formerly, 
appear  strange  to  me.  I  do  not  in  such  seasons  of 
difficulty  flatter  myself  that  it  will  be  better  hereafter ; 
but  rather  think  how  much  worse  it  migfyt  be;  how 
much  greater  trials  others  of  God's  children  have  en- 
dured ;  and  how  much  greater  are  yet  perhaps  re- 
served for  me.  Blessed  be  God,  that  he  makes  the 
thoughts  of  my  journey's  end, and  of  my  dissolution 
a  great  comfort  to  me  under  my  sharpest  trials  ;  and 
scarce  ever  lets  these  thoughts  be  attended  with  terror 
or  melancholy ;  but  they  are  attended  frequently  with 
great  joy. 

Nov.  23. — "  Visited  a  sick  man ;  discoursed  and 
prayed  with  him.  Then  visited  another  house,  where 
was  one  dead  and  laid  out :  looked  on  the  corpse,  and 


1 16  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI. 

longed  that  my  time  might  come  to  depart  and  be  with 
Christ.  Then  went  home  to  my  lodgings  about  one 
o'clock.  Felt  poorly ;  but  was  able  to  read  most  of 
the  afternoon." 

Within  the  space  of  the  next  twelve  days  he  spent 
much  time  in  hard  labor,  with  others,  to  make  for 
himself  a  little  cottage  or  hut,  to  live  in  by  himself 
through  the  winter.  Yet  he  frequently  preached  to 
the  Indians,  and  speaks  of  special  assistance  which  he 
had  from  time  to  time,  in  addressing  himself  to  them  ; 
and  of  his  sometimes  having  considerable  encourage- 
ment from  the  attention  whicli  they  gave.  But  on 
Tuesday,  December  4,  he  was  sunk  into  great  dis- 
couragement, to  see  most  of  them  going  in  company 
to  an  idolatrous  feast  and  dance,  after  he  had  taken 
abundant  pains  to  dissuade  them  from  these  things. 

Dec.  6. — "  Having  now  a  happy  opportunity  of  be- 
ing retired  in  a  house  of  my  own,  which  I  have  lately 
procured  and  moved  into  ;  considering  that  it  is  now 
a  long  time  since  I  have  been  able,  either  on  account 
of  bodily  weakness  or  for  want  of  retirement,  or  some 
other  difficulty,  to  spend  any  time  in  secret  fasting 
and  prayer;  considering  also  the  greatness  of  my 
work,  the  extreme  difficulties  that  attend  it,  and  that 
my  poor  Indians  are  now  worshipping  devils,  notwith- 
standing all  the  pains  I  have  taken  with  them,  which 
almost  overwhelms  my  spirit ;  moreover,  considering 
my  extreme  barrenness,  spiritual  deadness  and  dejec- 
tion, of  late ;  as  also  the  power  of  some  particular  cor- 
ruptions ;  I  set  apart  this  day  for  secret  prayer  and 
fasting,  to  implore  the  blessing  of  God  on  myself,  on 
my  poor  people,  on  my  friends,  and  on  the  church  of 
God.  At  first  I  felt  a  great  backwardness  to  the  duties 
of  the  day  on  account  of  the  seeming  impossibility  of 


1744. J         AT  FORKS  OP  DELAWARE.  117 

performing  them :  but  the  Lord  helped  me  to  break 
through  this  difficulty.  God  was  pleased,  by  the  use  of 
means,  to  give  me  some  clear  conviction  of  my  sinful- 
ness,  and  a  discovery  of  the  plague  of  my  own  heart, 
more  affecting  than  what  I  have  of  late  had.  And  es- 
pecially I  saw  my  sinfulness  in  this,  that  when  God 
had  withdrawn  himself,  then,  instead  of  living  and  dy- 
ing in  pursuit  of  him,  I  have  been  disposed  to  one  of 
these  two  things:  either  to  yield  an  unbecoming  re- 
spect to  some  earthly  objects,  as  if  happiness  were  to 
be  derived  from  them ;  or  to  be  secretly  froward  and 
impatient,  and  unsuitably  desirous  of  death,  so  that  I 
have  sometimes  thought  I  could  not  bear  to  think  that 
my  life  must  be  lengthened  out.  That  which  often 
drove  me  to  this  impatient  desire  of  death,  was  a  de- 
spair of  doing  any  good  in  life :  and  I  chose  death 
rather  than  a  life  spent  for  nothing.  But  now  God 
made  me  sensible  of  my  sin  in  these  things,  and  en- 
abled me  to  cry  to  him  for  forgiveness.  Yet  this  was 
not  all  I  wanted,  for  my  soul  appeared  exceedingly 
polluted,  my  heart  seemed  like  a  nest  of  vipers,  or  a 
cage  of  unclean  and  hateful  birds ;  and  therefore  I 
wanted  to  be  purified  'by  the  blood  of  sprinkling,  that 
cleanseth  from  all  sin.'  This,  I  hope,  I  was  enabled  to 
pray  for  in  faith.  I  enjoyed  much  more  intenseness, 
fervency,  and  spirituality,  than  I  expected ;  God  was 
better  to  me  than  my  fears.  Toward  night,  I  felt  my 
soul  rejoice,  that  God  is  unchangeably  happy  and  glo- 
rious ;  and  that  he  will  be  glorified,  whatever  becomes 
of  his  creatures.  I  was  enabled  to  persevere  in  prayer 
until  sometime  in  the  evening ;  at  which  time  I  saw  so 
much  need  of  divine  help,  in  every  respect,  that  I  knew 
not  how  to  leave  off,  and  had  forgot  that  I  needed  food. 
Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  any  help  in  the  past  day. 


118  LIFE    OF   BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  VI 

Dec.  7.  "Spent  some  time  in  prayer,  in  the  morn- 
ing ;  enjoyed  some  freedom  and  affection  in  the  duty, 
and  had  longing  desires  of  being  made  '  faithful  to  the 
death.'  Spent  a  little  time  in  writing  on  a  divine  sub- 
ject ;  then  visited  the  Indians,  and  preached  to  them  j 
but  I  had  no  heart  to  speak  to  them,  and  could  not  do 
it,  but  as  I  forced  myself:  I  knew  they  must  hate  to 
hear  me,  as  having  but  just  got  home  from  their  idola- 
trous feast  and  devil-worship.  In  the  evening,  had 
some  freedom  in  prayer  and  meditation. 

Dec.  12. — "  Was  very  weak  ;  but  somewhat  assisted 
in  secret  prayer,  and  enabled  with  pleasure  and  sweet- 
ness to  cry,  '  Come,  Lord  Jesus  !  come,  Lord  Jesus  ! 
come  quickly.'  My  soul  '  longed  for  God,  for  the  living 
God.'  O  how  delightful  it  is  to  pray  under  such  sweet 
influences  !  O  how  much  better  is  this  than  one's  ne- 
cessary food  !  I  had  at  this  time  no  disposition  to  eat, 
(though  late  in  the  morning ,)  for  earthly  food  ap- 
peared wholly  tasteless.  O  how  much  '  better  is  thy 
love  than  wine,'  than  the  sweetest  wine ! — I  visited 
and  preached  to  the  Indians  in  the  afternoon  ;  but  un- 
der much  dejection.  Found  my  Interpreter  under 
some  concern  for  his  soul ;  which  was  some  comfort 
to  me ;  and  yet  filled  me  with  new  care.  I  longed 
greatly  for  his  conversion;  lifted  up  my  heart  to  God 
for  it,  while  I  was  talking  to  him ;  came  home,  and 
poured  out  my  soul  to  God  for  him ;  enjoyed  some 
freedom  in  prayer,  and  was  enabled,  I  think,  to  leave 
all  with  God. 

Dec.  18. — "Went  to  the  Indians,  and  discoursed  to 
them  near  an  hour,  without  any  power  to  come  close 
to  their  hearts.  But  at  last  I  felt  some  fervency,  and 
God  helped  me  to  speak  with  warmth.  My  Interpre- 
ter also  was  amazingly  assisted ;  and  presently  most 


1744.]  AT   FORKS   OP   DELAWARE.  119 

of  the  grown  persons  were  much  affected,  and  the  tears 
ran  down  their  cheeks.  One  old  man,  I  suppose  an 
hundred  years  old,  was  so  much  affected  that  he  wept, 
and  seemed  convinced  of  the  importance  of  what  I 
taught  them.  I  staid  with  them  a  considerable  time, 
exhorting  and  directing  them ;  and  came  away,  lifting 
up  my  heart  to  God  in  prayer  and  praise,  and  encou- 
raged and  exhorted  my  Interpreter  to  'strive  to  enter 
in  at  the  strait  gate.'  Came  home,  and  spent  most  of 
the  evening  in  prayer  and  thanksgiving;  and  found 
myself  much  enlarged  and  quickened.  Was  greatly 
concerned  that  the  Lord's  work,  which  seemed  to  be 
begun,  might  be  carried  on  with  power,  to  the  conver- 
sion of  poor  souls,  and  the  glory  of  divine  grace. 

Dec,  19. — "  Spent  a  great  part  of  the  day  in  prayer 
to  God  for  the  outpouring  of  his  Spirit  on  my  poor 
people ;  as  also  to  bless  his  name  for  awakening  my 
Interpreter  and  some  others,  and  giving  us  some  tokens 
of  his  presence  yesterday.  And  blessed  be  God,  I  had 
much  freedom,  five  or  six  times  in  the  day,  in  prayer 
and  praise,  and  felt  a  weighty  concern  upon  my  spirit 
for  the  salvation  of  those  precious  souls,  and  the  en- 
largement of  the  Redeemer's  kingdom  among  them. 
My  soul  hoped  in  God  for  some  success  in  my  minis- 
try :  blessed  be  his  name  for  so  much  hope. 

Dec.  21. — "Was  enabled  again  to  pray  with  freedom, 
cheerfulness,  and  hope.  God  was  pleased  to  make  the 
duty  comfortable  and  pleasant  to  me ;  so  that  I  delight- 
ed to  persevere,  and  repeatedly  to  engage  in  it.  To- 
ward noon  visited  my  people,  and  spent  the  whole 
time  in  the  way  to  them  in  prayer,  longing  to  see  the 
power  of  God  among  them,  as  there  appeared  some- 
thing of  it  the  last  Tuesday ;  and  I  found  it  sweet  to 
rest  and  hopo  in  God.  Preached  to  them  twice,  and 


J20  LIFE   OP  BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI. 

at  two  distinct  places :  had  considerable  freedom  each 
time,  and  so  had  my  Interpreter.  Several  of  them  fol- 
lowed me  from  one  place  to  the  other ;  and  I  thought 
there  was  some  divine  influence  discernible  among 
them.  In  the  evening  was  assisted  in  prayer  again. 
Blessed  be  the  Lord. 

Dec.  25. — "Enjoyed  very  little  quiet  sleep  last  night, 
by  reason  of  bodily  weakness,  and  the  closeness  of  my 
studies  yesterday ;  yet  my  heart  was  somewhat  lively 
in  prayer  and  praise.  I  was  delighted  with  the  divine 
glory  and  happiness,  and  rejoiced  that  God  was  God, 
and  that  he  was  unchangeably  possessed  of  glory  and 
blessedness.  Though  God  held  my  eyes  waking,  yet 
he  helped  me  to  improve  my  time  profitably  amidst  my 
pains  and  weakness,  in  continued  meditations  on  Luke, 
13 : 7.  'Behold,  these  three  years  I  come  seeking  fruit.' 
&c.  My  meditations  were  sweet ;  and  I  wanted  to  set 
before  sinners  their  sin  and  danger." 

He  continued  in  a  very  low  state,  as  to  his  bodily 
health,  for  some  days,  which  seems  to  have  been  a 
great  hindrance  to  him  in  his  religious  exercises  and 
pursuits.  But  yet  he  expresses  some  degree  of  divine 
assistance,  from  day  to  day,  through  the  remainder  of 
this  week.  He  preached  several  times  this  week  to  his 
Indians ;  and  there  appeared  still  some  concern  among 
them  for  their  souls. 

Jan.  9, 1745. — "  In  the  morning  God  was  pleased  to 
remove  that  gloom  which  has  of  late  oppressed  my 
mind,  and  gave  me  freedom  and  sweetness  in  prayer ; 
I  was  encouraged,  strengthened,  and  enabled  to  plead 
for  grace  myself,  and  mercy  for  my  poor  Indians  ;  and 
was  sweetly  assisted  in  my  intercessions  with  God  for 
others.  Blessed  be  his  holy  name  for  ever  and  ever. 
Amen,  and  Amen.  Those  things  that  of  late  have  ap- 


1745.J          AT  FORKS  OP  DELAWARE.  121 

peared  most  difficult  and  almost  impossible,  now  ap- 
peared not  only  possible,  but  easy.  My  soul  so  much 
delighted  to  continue  instant  in  prayer,  at  this  blessed 
season,  that  I  had  no  desire  for  my  necessary  food :  I 
even  dreaded  leaving  off  praying  at  all,  lest  I  should 
lose  this  spirituality,  and  this  blessed  thankfulness  to 
God  which  I  then  felt.  I  felt  now  quite  willing  to  live, 
and  undergo  all  trials  that  might  remain  for  me  in  a 
world  of  sorrow;  but  still  longed  for  heaven,  that  I 
might  glorify  God  in  a  perfect  manner.  '  O  come,  Lord 
Jesus,  come  quickly.' 

Lord's  day,  Feb.  3. — "  In  the  morning  I  was  some- 
what relieved  of  that  gloom  and  confusion  with  which 
my  mind  has  of  late  been  greatly  exercised  ;  and  was 
enabled  to  pray  with  some  composure  and  comfort. 
Still  I  went  to  my  Indians  trembling ;  but  God  was 
pleased  to  hear  my  cries,  and  to  afford  me  great  assis- 
tance; so  that  I  felt  peace  in  my  own  soul;  and  was 
satisfied,  that  if  not  one  of  the  Indians  should  be  pro- 
fited by  my  preaching,  but  they  should  all  be  damned, 
yet  I  should  be  accepted  and  rewarded  as  faithful ;  for 
I  am  persuaded,  God  enabled  me  to  be  so.  Had  some 
good  degree  of  help  afterward  at  another  place  ;  and 
much  longed  for  the  conversion  of  the  poor  Indians." 

On  the  next  Sabbath  he  preached  at  Greenwich,  in 
New-Jersey.  In  the  evening  he  rode  eight  miles  to 
visit  a  sick  man  at  the  point  of  death,  and  found  him 
speechless  and  senseless. 

Feb.  11. — "About  the  break  of  day  the  sick  man 
died.  I  was  affected  at  the  sight ;  spent  the  morning 
with  the  mourners ;  and  after  prayer  and  some  dis- 
course with  them,  returned  to  Greenwich,  and  preached 
again  from  Psalm  89  :  15.  The  Lord  gave  me  some 
assistance ;  I  felt  a  sweet  love  to  souls  and  to  the 


122  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI. 

kingdom  of  Christ ;  and  longed  that  poor  sinners  might 
*  know  the  joyful  sound.'  Several  persons  were  much 
affected.  After  meeting,  I  was  enabled  to  discourse, 
with  freedom  and  concern,  to  some  persons  who  ap- 
plied to  me  under  spiritual  trouble.  Left  the  place, 
sweetly  composed,  and  rode  home  to  my  house  about 
eight  miles  distant.  Discoursed  to  friends,  and  incul- 
cated divine  truths  upon  some.  In  the  evening  was  in 
the  most  solemn  frame  which  I  almost  ever  remember 
to  have  experienced.  I  know  not  that  ever  death  ap- 
peared more  real  to  me,  or  that  ever  I  saw  myself  in 
the  condition  of  a  dead  corpse,  laid  out,  and  dressed  for 
a  lodging  in  the  silent  grave,  so  evidently  as  at  this 
time.  And  yet  I  felt  exceedingly  tranquil ;  my  mind 
was  composed  and  calm,  and  death  appeared  without 
a  sting.  I  think  I  never  felt  such  an  universal 
mortification  to  all  created  objects  as  now.  O,  how 
great  and  solemn  a  thing  it  appeared  to  die  !  O,  how 
it  lays  the  greatest  honor  in  the  dust !  And  O,  how 
vain  and  trifling  did  the  riches,  honors,  and  pleasures 
of  the  world  appear !  I  could  not,  I  dare  not  so  much 
as  think  of  any  of  them  ;  for  death,  death  appeared  at 
the  door.  O,  I  could  see  myself  dead,  and  laid  out, 
and  inclosed  in  my  coffin,  and  put  down  into  the  cold 
grave,  with  the  greatest  solemnity,  but  without  terror ! 
I  spent  most  of  the  evening  in  conversing  with  a  dear 
Christian  friend.  Blessed  be  God  for  the  comforts  of 
the  past  day. 

Feb.  15. — "  Was  engaged  in  writing  almost  the 
whole  day.  In  the  evening  was  much  assisted  in 
meditating  on  that  precious  text,  John,  7  :  37.  '  Jesus 
stood  and  cried,'  &c.  I  had  then  a  sweet  sense  of  the 
free  grace  of  the  gospel ;  my  soul  was  encouraged, 
warmed,  and  quickened.  My  desires  were  drawn  out 


1745.]        AT  FORKS  OF  DELAWARE.  123 

after  God  in  prayer;  and  my  soul  was  watchful,  afraid 
of  losing  such  a  guest  as  I  then  entertained.  I  con- 
tinued long  in  prayer  and  meditation,  intermixing  one 
with  the  other ;  and  was  unwilling  to  be  diverted  by 
any  thing  at  all  from  so  sweet  an  exercise.  I  longed 
to  proclaim  the  grace  I  then  meditated  upon,  to  the 
world  of  sinners.  O  how  quick  and  powerful  is  the 
word  of  the  blessed  God. 

Lord's  day,  Feb.  17. — "  Preached  to  the  white  people 
[my  interpreter  being  absent,]  in  the  wilderness,  upon 
the  sunny  side  of  a  hill ;  had  a  considerable' assembly, 
consisting  of  people  who  lived,  at  least  many  of  them, 
not  less  than  thirty  miles  asunder ;  some  of  them  came 
near  twenty  miles.  I  discoursed  to  them  all  day,  from 
John.  7  :  37.  '  Jesus  stood  and  cried,  saying,  that  if  any 
man  thirst,'  &c.  In  the  afternoon,  it  pleased  God  to 
grant  me  great  freedom  and  fervency  in  my  discourse 
and  I  was  enabled  to  imitate  the  example  of  Christ  in 
the  text,  who  stood  and  cried.  I  think  I  was  scarce 
ever  enabled  to  exhibit  the  free  grace  of  God  to  perish- 
ing sinners  with  more  freedom  and  plainness  in  my 
life.  Afterward,  I  was  enabled  earnestly  to  invite  the 
children  of  God  to  come  renewedly,  and  drink  of  this 
fountain  of  the  water  of  life,  from  whence  they  have 
heretofore  derived  unspeakable  satisfaction.  It  was  a 
very  comfortable  time  to  me.  There  were  many  tears 
in  the  assembly  ;  and  I  doubt  not  but  that  the  Spirit  of 
God  was  there,  convincing  poor  sinners  of  their  need 
of  Christ.  In  the  evening  I  felt  composed  and  com- 
fortable, though  much  tired.  I  had  some  sweet  sense 
of  the  excellency  and  glory  of  God ;  my  soul  rejoiced 
that  he  was  'God  over  all.  blessed  for  ever;'  but-vvas 
too  much  crowded  with  company  and  conversation, 
and  longed  to  be  more  alone  with  God.  O  that  I  could 


124  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI, 

for  ever  bless  God  for  the  mercy  of  this  day,  who 
'  answered  me  in  the  joy  of  my  heart.' 

Lord's  day,  Feb.  24. — "  In  the  morning  was  much 
perplexed.  My  interprets  being  absent,  I  knew  not 
how  to  perform  my  work  among  the  Indians.  How- 
ever, I  rode  to  them,  got  a  Dutchman  to  interpret  fox 
me,  though  he  was  but  poorly  qualified  for  the  business. 
Afterward  I  came  and  preached  to  a  few  white  people, 
from  John,  6  :  67.  Here  the  Lord  seemed  to  unburden 
me  in  some  measure,  especially  toward  the  close  of  my 
discourse :  I  felt  freedom  to  open  the  love  of  Christ  to 
his  own  dear  disciples.  When  the  rest  of  the  world 
forsake  him,  and  are  forsaken  by  him,  he  then  turns  to 
his  own,  and  says,  Will  ye  also  go  away  ?  I  had  a 
sense  of  the  free  grace  of  Christ  to  his  own  people,  in 
such  seasons  of  general  apostacy,  and  when  they  them- 
selves in  some  measure  backslide  with  the  world.  O 
the  free  grace  of  Christ,  that  he  seasonably  reminds 
his  people  of  their  danger  of  backsliding,  and  invites 
them  to  persevere  in  their  adherence  to  himself!  I  saw 
that  backsliding  souls,  who  seemed  to  be  about  to  go 
away  with  the  world,  might  return,  and  be  welcome, 
to  him  immediately ;  without  any  thing  to  recommend 
them ;  notwithstanding  all  their  former  backslid  ings. 
Thus  my  discourse  was  suited  to  my  own  soul's  case  ; 
for  of  late,  I  have  found  a  great  want  of  this  sense  and 
apprehension  of  divine  grace;  and  have  often  been 
greatly  distressed  in  my  own  soul,  because  I  did  not 
suitably  apprehend  this  fountain  opened  to  purge  away 
sin ;  and  have  been  too  much  laboring  for  spiritual 
life,  peace  of  conscience,  and  progressive  holiness,  in 
my  own  strength.  Now  God  showed  me,  in  some 
measure,  the  arm  of  all  strength,  and  the  fountain  of 
all  grace.  In  the  evening,  I  felt  solemn,  resting  on 


1745.]        AT  FORKS  OF  DELAWARE.  125 

free  grace   for  assistance,  acceptance,  and  peace  of 
conscience. 

March  6. — "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  preparing  for 
a  journey  to  New-England ;  and  sometime  in  prayer 
with  a  special  reference  to  it.  Was  afraid  I  should 
forsake  the  Fountain  of  living  waters,  and  attempt  to 
derive  satisfaction  from  broken  cisterns,  my  dear 
friends  and  acquaintance,  whom  I  might  meet  in  my 
journey.  I  looked  to  God  to  keep  me  from  this  vanity 
as  well  as  others.  Toward  night,  and  in  the  evening, 
was  visited  by  some  friends,  some  of  whom  I  trust  were 
real  Christians ;  who  discovered  an  affectionate  regard 
to  me,  and  seemed  grieved  that  I  was  about  to  leave 
them ;  especially  as  I  did  not  expect  to  make  any  con- 
siderable stay  among  them,  if  I  should  live  to  return.* 
O  how  kind  has  God  been  to  me  !  how  he  has  raised 
up  friends  in  every  place  where  his  providence  has 
called  me !  Friends  are  a  great  comfort ;  and  it  is 
God  who  gives  them ;  it  is  He  who  makes  them  friendly 
to  me.  '  Bless  the  Lord,  my  soul,  and  forget  not  all 
his  benefits.' " 

The  next  day  he  set  out  on  his  journey ;  and  it  was 
about  five  weeks  before  he  returned.  The  special  de 
sign  of  this  journey,  he  himself  declares  afterward, 
in  his  diary  for  March  21,  where,  speaking  of  his  con- 
versing with  a  certain  minister  in  New-England,  he 
says,  "  Contrived  with  him  how  to  raise  some  money 
among  Christian  friends,  in  order  to  support  a  colleague 
with  me  in  the  wilderness,  (I  having  now  spent  two 
years  in  a  very  solitary  manner,)  that  we  might  be  to- 
gether :  as  Christ  sent  out  his  disciples  two  and  two  • 

*It  seems  by  what  afterward  appears,  that  he  had  a  design 
to  remove  and  live  among  the  Indians  on  the  Susquehanna 
river. 


126  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI 

and  as  this  was  the  principal  concern  I  had  in  view,  in 
taking  this  journey,  so  I  took  pains  in  it,  and  hope  God 
will  succeed  it,  if  for  his  glory."  He  first  went  into 
various  parts  of  New-Jersey,  and  visited  several  minis- 
ters there ;  then  went  to  New-York ;  and  from  thence 
into  New-England,  going  to  various  parts  of  Connec- 
ticut. He  then  returned  to  New- Jersey,  and  met  a  num- 
ber of  ministers  at  Woodbridge,  "  who,"  he  says  "  met 
there  to  consult  about  the  affairs  of  Christ's  kingdom." 
He  seems,  for  the  most  part,  to  have  been  free  from 
melancholy  in  this  journey ;  and  many  times  to  have 
had  extraordinary  assistance  in  public  ministrations, 
and  his  preaching  was  sometimes  attended  with  very 
hopeful  appearances  of  a  good  effect  on  the  auditory. 
He  also  had  many  seasons  of  special  comfort  and  spiri- 
tual refreshment,  in  conversation  with  ministers  and 
other  Christian  friends,  and  also  in  meditation  and 
prayer  when  alone. 

April  13. — "Rode  home  to  my  own  house  at  the 
Forks  of  Delaware ;  was  enabled  to  remember  the  good- 
ness of  the  Lord,  who  has  now  preserved  me  while  ri- 
ding full  six  hundred  miles  in  this  journey ;  and  kept 
me  that  none  of  my  bones  have  been  broken.  Blessed 
be  the  Lord,  who  has  preserved  me  in  this  tedious  jour- 
ney, and  returned  me  in  safety  to  my  own  house. 
Verily  it  is  God  who  has  upheld  me,  and  guarded  my 
goings. 

Lord's  day,  April  14. — "Was  disordered  in  body 
with  the  fatigues  of  the  late  journey ;  but  was  enabled 
however  to  preach  to  a  considerable  assembly  of  white 
people,  gathered  from  all  parts  round  about,  with  some 
freedom,  from  Ezek.  33: 11.  'As  I  live  saith  the  Lord,' 
&c.  Had  much  more  assistance  than  I  expected." 

This  week  he  went,  a  journey  to  Philadelphia,  in  or- 


1745.  J        AT  FORKS  OP  DELAWARE.  127 

der  to  engage  the  Governor  to  use  his  interest  with 
the  chief  of  the  Six  Nations,  with  whom  he  maintain- 
ed a  strict  friendship,  that  he  would  give  him  leave  to 
live  at  Susquehanna,  and  instruct  the  Indians  who  are 
within  their  territories. 

April  26. — "Conversed  with  a  Christian  friend  with 
some  warmth ;  and  felt  a  spirit  of  mortification  to  the 
world,  in  a  very  great  degree.  Afterward,  was  en- 
abled to  pray  fervently,  and  to  rely  on  God  sweetly, 
for  'all  things  pertaining  to  life  and  godliness.'  Just 
in  the  evening,  was  visited  by  a  dear  Christian  friend, 
with  whom  I  spent  an  hour  or  two  in  conversation,  on 
the  very  soul  of  religion.  There  are  many  with  whom 
I  can  talk  about  religion;  but  alas!  I  find  few  with 
whom  I  can  talk  religion  itself;  but,  blessed  be  the 
Lord  there  are  some  that  love  to  feed  on  the  kernel, 
rather  than  the  shell. 

April  30. — "Was  scarce  able  to  walk  about,  and  was 
obliged  to  betake  myself  to  bed  much  of  the  day ;  and 
passed  away  the  time  in  a  very  solitary  manner;  being 
neither  able  to  read,  meditate,  nor  pray,  and  had  none 
to  converse  with  in  this  wilderness.  O  how  heavily 
does  time  pass  away  when  I  can  do  nothing  to  any 
good  purpose;  but  seem  obliged  to  trifle  away  precious 
time!  But  of  late  I  have  seen  it  my  duty  to  divert 
myself  by  all  lawful  means,  that  I  may  be  fit,  at  least 
some  small  part  of  my  time,  to  labor  for  God.  And 
here  is  the  difference  between  my  present  diversions, 
and  those  I  once  pursued,  when  in  a  natural  state. 
Then  I  made  a  God  of  my  diversions,  delighted  in 
them  with  a  neglect  of  God,  and  drew  my  highest  sa- 
tisfaction from  them.  Now  I  use  them  as  means  to 
help  me  in  living  to  God ;  fixedly  delighting  in  him, 
and  not  in  them,  drawing  my  highest  satisfaction  from 


128  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD. 

him.  Then  they  were  my  all ;  now  they  are  only 
-means  leading  to  my  all.  And  those  things  that  are 
the  greatest  diversion,  when  pursued  with  this  view, 
do  not  tend  to  hinder,  but  promote  my  spirituality ; 
and  I  see  now,  more  than  ever,  that  they  are  absolutely 
necessary. 

May  2. — "In  the  evening,  being  a  little  better  in 
health,  I  walked  into  the  woods,  and  enjoyed  a  sweet 
season  of  meditation  and  prayer.  My  thoughts  ran 
upon  Psalm  17 : 15.  'I  shall  be  satisfied,  when  I  awake, 
with  thy  likeness.'  And  it  was  indeed  a  precious  texl 
to  me.  I  longed  to  preach  to  the  whole  world ;  and  it 
seemed  to  me  they  must  needs  all  be  melted  in  hear- 
ing such  precious  divine  truths  as  I  then  had  a  view 
of.  My  thoughts  were  exceeding  clear,  and  my  soul 
was  refreshed.  Blessed  be  the  Lord,  that  in  my  late 
and  present  weakness,  now  for  many  days  together, 
my  mind  is  not  gloomy,  as  at  some  other  times. 

May  7. — "  Spent  the  day  mainly  in  making  prepara- 
tion for  a  journey  into  the  wilderness.  Was  still  weak, 
and  concerned  how  I  should  perform  so  difficult  a  jour- 
ney; but  wanted  bodily  strength  to  spend  the  day  in 
fasting  and  prayer." 

The  next  day  he  set  out  on  his  journey  to  the  Sus- 
quehanna,  with  his  interpreter.  He  endured  great  hard- 
ships and  fatigues  in  his  way  thither  through  the  wil- 
derness; where,  after  having  lodged  one  night  in  the 
open  woods,  he  was  overtaken  with  a  north-easterly 
storm,  in  which  he  was  ready  to  perish.  Having  no 
manner  of  shelter,  and  not  being  able  to  make  a  fire  in 
so  great  a  rain,  he  could  have  no  comfort  if  he  stopped ; 
ho  therefore  determined  to  go  forward  in  hope  of 
meeting  with  some  shelter,  without  which  he  thought 
it  impossible  to  live  the  night  through ;  but  their  horses 


1745.J        JOURNEY  TO  SUSauEHANNA.          125) 

happening  to  eat  poison,  for  the  want  of  other  food,  at 
a  place  where  they  lodged  the  night  before,  were  so 
sick  that  they  could  neither  ride  nor  lead  them,  but 
were  obliged  to  drive  them  and  travel  on  foot ;  until, 
through  the  mercy  of  God,  just  at  dusk  they  came  to 
a  bark  hut,  where  they  lodged  that  night.  After  he 
came  to  the  Susquehanna  he  traveled  about  a  hundred 
miles  on  the  river,  and  visited  many  towns  and  settle- 
ments of  the  Indians ;  saw  some  of  seven  or  eight 
tribes,  and  preached  to  different  nations,  by  different 
interpreters.  He  was  sometimes  much  discouraged, 
and  sunk  in  his  spirits,  through  the  opposition  which 
appeared  in  the  Indians  to  Christianity.  At  other  times 
he  was  encouraged  by  the  disposition  which  some  of 
these  people  manifested  to  hear,  and  their  willingness 
to  be  instructed.  He  here  met  with  some  who  had 
formerly  been  his  hearers  at  Kaunaumeek,  and  had 
removed  hither ;  who  saw  and  heard  him  again  with 
great  joy.  He  spent  a  fortnight  among  the  Indians  on 
this  river,  and  passed  through  many  labors  and  hard- 
ships, lodging  on  the  ground  for  several  weeks,  and 
sometimes  in  the  open  air.  At  length  he  became  ex- 
tremely ill,  as  he  was  riding  in  the  wilderness,  being 
seized  with  an  ague,  followed  with  a  burning  fever 
and  extreme  pains  in  his  head  and  bowels,  attended 
with  a  great  evacuation  of  blood  ;  so  that  he  thought 
he  must  have  perished  in  the  wilderness.  But  at  last 
coming  to  an  Indian  trader's  hut,  he  got  leave  to  stay 
there;  and  though  without  physic  or  food  proper  for 
him,  it  pleased  God,  after  about  a  week's  distress,  to 
relieve  him  so  far  that  he  was  able  to  ride.  He  re- 
turned homeward  from  Juncauta,  an  island  far  down 
the  river,  where  were  a  considerable  number  of  Indians, 
who  appeared  more  free  from  prejudices  against  Chris- 

Brainerd.  C) 


130  UFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI 

tianity  than  most  of  the  other  Indians ;  and  arrived  at 
the  Forks  of  Delaware  on  Thursday,  May  30,  after 
having  rode  in  this  journey  about  three  hundred  and 
forty  miles.  He  came  home  in  a  very  week  state,  and 
under  dejection  of  mind ;  which  was  a  great  hindrance 
to  him  in  religious  exercises.  However,  on  the  Sab- 
bath, after  having  preached  to  the  Indians,  he  preached 
to  the  white  people  with  some  success,  from  Isaiah, 
53  :  10.  "  Yet  it  pleased  the  Lord  to  bruise  him,"  &c. 
some  being  awakened  by  his  preaching.  The  next 
day  he  was  much  exercised  for  want  of  spiritual  life 
and  fervency. 

June  5. — "  Felt  thirsting  desires  after  God,  in  the 
morning.  In  the  evening,  enjoyed  a  precious  season 
of  retirement :  was  favored  with  some  clear  and  sweet 
meditations  upon  a  sacred  text ;  divine  things  opened 
with  clearness  and  certainty,  and  had  a  divine  stamp 
upon  them.  My  soul  was  also  enlarged  and  refreshed 
in  prayer ;  I  delighted  to  continue  in  the  duty ;  and  was 
sweetly  assisted  in  praying  for  my  fellow  Christians, 
and  dear  brethren  in  the  ministry.  Blessed  be  the  dear 
Lord  for  such  enjoyments.  O  how  sweet  and  precious 
it  is  to  have  a  clear  apprehension  and  tender  sense  of 
the  mystery  of  godliness,  of  true  holiness,  and  of  like- 
ness to  the  best  of  beings  !  O  what  a  blessedness  it  is 
to  be  as  much  like  God  as  it  is  possible  for  a  creature 
to  be  like  his  great  Creator  !  Lord  give  me  more  of  thy 
likeness;  '  I  shall  be  satisfied,  when  I  awake,  with  it.'  " 

On  Friday,  June  7,  he  went  a  journey  of  near  fifty 
miles,  toNeshaminy,  to  assist  at  3  sacramental  occasion, 
to  be  attended  at  Mr.  Beatty's  meeting-house ;  being  in- 
vited thither  by  him  and  his  people. 

June  8. — "  Was  exceedingly  weak  and  fatigued  with 
riding  in  the  heat  yesterday ;  but  being  desired,  I 


1745.]  AT   NESHAM1NY.  131 

preached  in  the  afternoon,  to  a  crowded  audience, 
from  Isaiah,  40  :  1.  '  Comfort  ye,  comfort  ye  my 
people,  saith  your  God.'  God  was  pleased  to  give  me 
great  freedom,  in  opening  the  sorrows  of  his  people, 
and  in  setting  before  them  comforting  considerations. 
And,  blessed  be  the  Lord,  it  was  a  sweet  melting  season 
in  the  assembly. 

lard's  day,  June  9. — "  Felt  some  longing  desires  of 
the  presence  of  God  to  be  with  his  people  on  the 
solemn  occasion  of  the  day.  In  the  forenoon  Mr. 
Beatty  preached ;  and  there  appeared  some  warmth  in 
the  assembly.  Afterward,  I  assisted  in  the  administra- 
tion of  the  Lord's  supper :  and  toward  the  close  of  it, 
I  discoursed  to  the  multitude  extempore,  with  some 
reference  to  that  sacred  passage,  Isaiah,  53  :  10.  '  Yet 
it  pleased  the  Lord  to  bruise  him.'  Here  God  gave  me 
great  assistance  in  addressing  sinners :  and  the  word 
was  attended  with  amazing  power:  many  scores,  if 
not  hundreds,  in  that  great  assembly,  consisting  ol 
three  or  four  thousand,  were  much  affected ;  so  that 
there  was  a  '  very  great  mourning,  like  the  mourning 
of  Hadadrimmon.' 

June  10. — "Preached  with  a  good  degree  of  clear- 
ness and  some  swee,t  warmth  from  Psalm  17  :  15.  'I 
shall  be  satisfied,  ^hen  I  awake,  with  thy  likeness.' 
And  blessed  be  God,  there  was  a  great  solemnity,  and 
attention  in  the  assembly,  and  sweet  refreshment 
among  God's  people ;  as  was  evident  then  and  af- 
terward. 

June  11. — "Spent  the  day  mainly  in  conversation 
with  dear  Christian  friends  ;  and  enjoyed  some  sweet 
sense  of  divine  things.  O  how  desirable  it  is  to  keep 
company  with  God's  dear  children  !  '  These  are  the  ex- 
cellent ones  of  the  earth,'  in  whom,  I  can  truly  say 


132  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  |  Chap.  VII. 

'  is  all  my  delight.'  O  what  delight  will  it  afford,  to 
meet  them  all  in  a  state  of  perfection  !  Lord  prepare 
me  for  that  state. 

June  18. — "Set  out  from  New-Brunswick  with  a  de- 
sign to  visit  some  Indians  at  a  place  called  Crossweek- 
sunff,  in  New-Jersey,  toward  the  sea.  In  the  afternoon, 
came  to  a  place  called  Cranberry,  and  meeting  with  a 
serious  minister,  Mr.  Macknight,  I  lodged  there  with 
him.  Had  some  enlargement  and  freedom  in  prayer 
with  a  number  of  people." 


CHAPTER    VII. 

Being  part  ]st  of  kis  public  journal  of  "the  Rise  and  Progress  of 
a  remarkable  work  of  grace  among  the  Indiant  in  New-Jersey 
and  Pennsylvania,  kept  by  order  of  the  Society  in  Scotland  for 
propagating  Christian  knmdedge." —  Commencement  of  his  la- 
bors at  Crossiceeksung. — Renewal  of  labor  at  the  Forkt  of 
Delaware. — Conversion  of  his  Interpreter. — Return  to  Cross- 
weeksung. — Outpouring  of  the  spirit. —  Visit  to  the  Forks  of 
Delaware  and  the  Susquehanna. — JlPmoaw. — Jl  Conjurer.— Re- 
newal of  labor  at  Crossweeksung. — Remarks  on  the  works  of 
Divine  Grace. 

Jhns  19.— Nov.  5, 1745. 

[We  are  now  come  to  that  part  of  Ikainerd's  Life, 
when  he'had  the  greatest  success  in  his  labors  for  the 
good  of  souls,  and  in  his  particular  business  as  a  mis- 
sionary to  the  Indians.  After  all  his  agonizing  in  prayer, 
and  travailing  in  birth  for  their  conversion — his  raised 
hopes  and  expectations,  disappointments  and  encou- 
ragements; after  panting  in  a  way  of  persevering  prayer, 
labor,  and  suffering,  as  it  were  through  along  night; 
at  length  the  day  dawns :  i:  Weeping  continues  for  a 


1745.J  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNG.  133 

night,  but  joy  comes  in  the  morning."  He  went  forth 
weeping,  "  bearing  precious  seed,"  but  now  he  comes 
"  with  rejoicing,  bringing  his  sheaves  with  him."  The 
desired  event  is  brought  to  pass  at  last ;  but  at  a  time, 
in  a  place,  and  upon  subjects,  that  scarce  ever  entered 
his  heart.] 

"  Crossweeltsung,  in  New-Jersey,  June  17,  1745. 

Jane  19.—"  I  had  spent  most  of  my  time  for  more  than 
a  year  past  among  the  Indians  at  the  Forks  of  Dela- 
ware, in  Pennsylvania.  During  that  time  I  made  two 
journies  to  the  Susquehanna,  to  treat  with  the  Indians  on 
that  river  respecting  Christianity ;  and  not  having  had 
any  considerable  appearance  of  special  success  in  either 
of  those  places,  my  spirits  were  depressed,  and  I  was 
not  a  little  discouraged.  Hearing  that  there  were  a 
number  of  Indians  at  a  place  called  Crossweeksung,  in 
New-Jersey,  nearly  eighty  miles  south  east  from  the 
Forks  of  Delaware,  I  determined  to  make  them  a  visit, 
and  see  what  might  be  done  toward  christianizing 
them ;  and  accordingly  arrived  among  them  this  day. 

"  I  found  very  few  persons  at  the  place  I  visited,  and 
perceived  that  the  Indians  in  these  parts  were  very 
much  scattered.  There  were  not  more  than  two  or 
three  families  in  a  place ;  and  these  small  settlements 
were  six,  ten,  fifteen,  twenty,  or  thirty  miles,  and  some 
more  from  that  place.  However,  I  preached  to  those 
few  I  found  ;  who  appeared  well  disposed,  serious  and 
attentive,  and  not  inclined  to  cavil  and  object,  as  the 
Indians  had  done  elsewhere.  When  I  had  concluded 
my  discourse,  I  informed  them  (there  being  none  but 
a  few  women  and  children)  that  I  would  willingly 
visit  them  again  the  next  day.  Whereupon  ihey 
readily  set  out  and  traveled  ten  or  fifteen  miles,  in 


134  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [  Chap.  VII 

order  to  give  notice  to  some  of  their  friends  at  that 
distance.  These  women,  like  the  woman  of  Samaria, 
seemed  desirous  that  others  should  see  the  man  who 
had  told  them  what  they  had  done  in  their  past  lives, 
and  the  misery  that  attended  their  idolatrous  ways. 

June  20. — "  Visited  and  preached  to  the  Indians 
again  as  I  proposed.  Numbers  were  gathered  at  the 
invitations  of  their  friends,  who  had  heard  me  the  day 
before.  These  also  appeared  as  attentive,  orderly  and 
well  disposed,  as  the  others :  and  none  made  any  objec- 
tions, as  Indians  in  other  places  have  usually  done. 

June  22. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians  again.  Their 
number,  which  at  first  consisted  of  seven  or  eight  per- 
sons, was  now  increased  to  nearly  thirty.  There  was 
not  only  a  solemn  attention  among  them,  but  some  con- 
siderable impression,  it  was  apparent,  was  made  upon 
their  minds  by  divine  truth.  Some  began  to  feel  their 
misery,  and  perishing  state,  and  appeared  concerned 
for  a  deliverance  from  it. 

Lord's  day,  June  23. — Preached  to  the  Indians,  and 
spent  the  day  with  them.  Their  number  still  increased  ; 
and  all  with  one  consent,  seemed  to  rejoice  in  my 
coming  among  them.  Not  a  word  of  opposition  was 
heard  from  any  of  them  against  Christianity,  although 
in  times  past  they  had  been  as  much  opposed  to  any 
thing  of  that  nature  as  any  Indians  whatsoever.  Some 
of  them,  not  many  months  before,  were  enraged  with 
my  Interpreter  because  he  attempted  to  teach  them 
something  of  Christianity. 

June  24. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians  at  their  desire 
and  upon  their  own  motion.  To  see  poor  Pagans  de- 
sirous of  hearing  the  gospel  of  Christ,  animated  me  to 
discourse  to  them ;  although  I  was  now  very  weak, 
and  my  spirits  much  exhausted.  They  attended  with  the 


1745.  |  AT  CROSSWEEKSCNG.  135 

greatest  seriousness  and  diligence ;  and  some  concern 
for  their  soul's  salvation  was  apparent  among  them. 

June  27. — "  Visited  and  preached  to  the  Indians 
again.  Their  number  now  amounted  to  about  forty 
persons.  Their  solemnity  and  attention  still  continued, 
and  a  considerable  concern  for  their  souls  became  very 
apparent  among  numbers  of  them. 

June  28. — "  The  Indians  being  now  gathered,  a  con- 
siderable number  of  them,  from  their  several  and  dis- 
tant habitations,  requested  me  to  preach  twice  a  day  to 
them  ;  being  desirous  to  hear  as  much  as  they  possibly 
could  while  I  was  with  them.  I  cheerfully  complied 
with  their  request,  and  could  not  but  admire  the  good- 
ness of  God,  who  I  was  persuaded  had  inclined  them 
thus  to  inquire  after  the  way  of  salvation. 

June  29. — "  Preached  twice  to  the  Indians.  Saw,  as 
I  thought,  the  hand  of  God  very  evidently,  and  in  a 
manner  somewhat  remarkable,  making  provision  for 
their  subsistence  together,  in  order  to  their  being  in- 
structed in  divine  things;  for  this  day,  and  the  day 
before,  with  only  walking  a  little  way  from  the  place 
of  our  daily  meeting,  they  killed  three  deer,  which 
were  a  seasonable  supply  for  their  wants,  and  without 
which,  they  could  not  have  subsisted  together  in  order 
to  attend  the  means  of  grace. 

Lord's  day,  June  30. — "  Preached  twice  this  day  also. 
Observed  yet  more  concern  and  affection  among  the 
poor  heathen  than  ever ;  so  that  they  even  constrained 
me  to  tarry  yet  longer  with  them,  although  my  consti- 
tution was  exceedingly  worn  out,  and  my  health  much 
impaired  by  my  late  fatigues  and  labors;  and  espe- 
cially by  my  late  journey  to  the  Susquehanna  in  May 
last,  in  which  I  lodged  on  the  ground  for  several 
weeks  together. 


136  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VII. 

July  1. — "  Preached  again  twice  to  a  very  serious 
and  attentive  assembly  of  Indians ;  they  having  now 
learned  to  attend  on  the  worship  of  God  with  Chris- 
tian decency  in  all  respects.  There  were  now  between 
forty  and  fifty  persons  of  them  present,  old  and  young. 
I  spent  a  considerable  time  in  discoursing  with  them 
in  a  more  private  way ;  inquiring  of  them  what  they 
remembered  of  the  great  truths  which  had  been  taught 
them  from  day  to  day;  and  may  justly  say,  it  was 
antazing  to  see  how  they  had  received  and  retained 
the  instructions  given  them,  and  what  a  measure  of 
knowledge  some  of  them  had  acquired  in  a  few  days. 

July  2. — "Was  obliged  to  leave  these  Indians  at 
Crossweeksung,  thinking  it  my  duty,  as  soon  as  health 
would  admit,  again  to  visit  those  at  the  Forks  of  Dela- 
ware. When  I  came  to  take  leave  of  them,  and  to 
speak  particularly  to  each  of  them,  they  all  earnestly 
inquired  when  I  would  come  again,  and  expressed  a 
great  desire  of  being  further  instructed.  Of  their  own 
accord  they  agreed,  that,  when  I  should  come  again, 
they  would  all  meet  and  live  together  during  my  con- 
tinuance with  them  ;  and  that  they  would  use  their  ut- 
most endeavors  to  gather  all  the  other  Indians  in 
these  parts  who  were  yet  more  remote.  When  1 
parted  from  them,  one  told  me,  with  many  tears,  '  She 
wished  God  would  change  her  heart ;'  another,  that 
'  she  wanted  to  find  Christ ;'  and  an  old  man  who  had 
been  one  of  their  chiefs,  wept  bitterly  with  concern  for 
his  soul.  I  then  promised  them  to  return  as  speedily 
as  my  health  and  business  elsewhere  would  permit, 
and  felt  not  a  little  concern  at  parting,  lest  the  good 
impressions,  then  apparent  upon  numbers  of  them, 
might  decline  and  wear  off,  when  the  means  came  to 
cease.  Yet  I  could  not  but  hope,  that  He,  who  I 


1745.]  AT  FORKS  OF  DELAWARE.  137 

trusted  had  begun  a  good  work  among  them,  and  who 
I  knew  did  not  stand  in  need  of  means  to  carry  it  on, 
would  mantain  and  promote  it.  At  the  same  time,  I 
must  confess,  that  I  had  often  seen  encouraging  ap- 
pearances among  the  Indians  elsewhere,  prove  wholly 
abortive,  and  it  appeared  that  the  favor  would  be  too 
great,  if  God  should  now,  after  I  had  passed  through 
so  considerable  a  series  of  almost  fruitless  labors  and 
fatigues,  and  after  my  rising  hopes  had  been  so  often 
frustrated  among  these  poor  pagans,  give  me  any  spe- 
cial success  in  my  labors  with  them,  I  could  not  be- 
lieve, and  scarcely  dared  to  hope,  that  the  event  would 
be  so  happy ;  and  scarcely  ever  found  myself  more 
suspended  between  hope  and  fear  in  any  affair,  or  at 
any  time,  than  in  this. 

"  This  encouraging  disposition,  and  readiness  to  re- 
ceive instruction,  now  apparent  among  the  Indians, 
seems  to  have  been  the  happy  effect  of  the  conviction 
which  one  or  two  of  them  met  with,  some  time  since, 
at  the  Forks  of  the  Delaware ;  who  have  since  endea- 
vored to  show  their  friends  the  evil  of  idolatry.  Though 
the  other  Indians  seemed  but  little  to  regard,  and  rather 
to  deride  them ;  yet  this,  perhaps,  has  put  them  into  a 
thinking  posture  of  mind,  or  at  least  given  them  some 
thoughts  about  Christianity,  and  excited  in  some  of 
them  a  curiosity  to  hear ;  and  so  made  way  for  the  pre- 
sent encouraging  attention.  An  apprehension  that  this 
might  be  the  case  here,  has  given  me  encouragement 
that  God  may,  in  such  a  manner,  bless  the  means  which 
I  have  used  with  the  Indians  in  other  places ;  where, 
as  yet  there  is  no  appearance  of  it.  If  so,  may  his  name 
have  the  glory  of  it ;  for  I  have  learnt,  by  experience, 
that  he  only  can  open  the  ear,  engage  the  attention. 


138  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VII, 

and  incline  the  hearts  of  poor  benighted,  prejudiced 
pagans,  to  receive  instruction." 

Forks  of  Delaware,  in  Pennsylvania,  July,  1745. 

ford's  day,  July  14. — "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians 
twice.  Several  of  them  appeared  concerned,  and  were, 
I  have  reason  to  think,  in  some  measure  convinced,  by 
the  Divine  Spirit,  of  their  sin  and  misery ;  so  that  they 
wept  much  the  whole  time  of  divine  service.  After- 
ward discoursed  to  a  number  of  white  people  then 
present. 

July  18. — "  Preached  to  my  people,  who  attended  di- 
ligently beyond  what  had  been  common  among  these 
Indians ;  and  some  of  them  appeared  concerned  for 
their  souls. 

Lord's  day,  July  21. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians  first, 
then  to  a  number  of  white  people  present;  and  in  the 
afternoon  to  the  Indians  again.  Divine  truth  seemed 
to  make  very  considerable  impressions  upon  several  of 
them,  and  caused  the  tears  to  flow  freely. 

"  On  this  day  my  interpreter  and  his  wife  publicly 
professed  their  faith  in  Christ,  being  the  first  hopeful 
converts  among  the  Indians.  They  have  both  been 
awakened  to  a  solemn  concern  for  their  souls ;  have,  to 
appearance,  been  brought  to  a  sense  of  their  misery 
and  undoneness  in  themselves ;  have  both  appeared  to 
be  comforted  with  divine  consolations ;  and  it  is  ap- 
parent that  both  have  passed  a  great,  and  I  cannot  but 
hope,  a  saving  change. 

"  It  may  perhaps  be  satisfactory  and  agreeable,  that  I 
should  give  some  BRIEF  RELATION  OF  THIS  MAN'S  EXER- 
CISES AND  EXPERIENCE  since  he  has  been  with  me ;  es- 
pecially since  he  is  employed  as  my  interpreter  to 
others.  When  I  first  employed  him  in  this  business, 


1745  J  CONVERSION   OF   HIS   INTERPRETER.  139 

in  the  beginning  of  the  summer  of  1744,  he  was  well 
fitted  for  his  work,  in  regard  to  his  acquaintance  with 
the  Indian  and  English  languages,  as  well  as  with  the 
manners  of  both  nations ;  and  in  respect  to  his  desire 
that  the  Indians  should  conform  to  the  manners  and 
customs  of  the  English,  and  especially  to  their  manner 
of  living.  But  he  seemed  to  have  little  or  no  impres- 
sion of  religion  upon  his  mind,  and  in  that  respect  was 
very  unfit  for  his  work ;  being  incapable  of  understand- 
ing and  communicating  to  others  many  things  of  im- 
portance, so  that  I  labored  under  great  disadvantages 
in  addressing  the  Indians,  for  want  of  his  having  an 
experimental,  as  well  as  more  doctrinal  acquaintance 
with  divine  truths ;  and,  at  times,  my  spirits  sunk,  and 
I  was  much  discouraged  under  this  difficulty ;  espe- 
cially when  I  observed  that  divine  truth  made  little  or 
no  impression  upon  his  mind  for  many  weeks  toge- 
ther. He  indeed  behaved  soberly  after  I  employed 
him  ;  although  before  he  had  been  a  hard  drinker,  and 
seemed  honestly  engaged,  as  far  as  he  was  capable,  in 
the  performance  of  his  work.  Especially  he  appeared 
very  desirous  that  the  Indians  should  renounce  their 
heathenish  notions  and  practices,  and  conform  to  the 
customs  of  the  Christian  world.  But  still  he  seemed 
to  have  no  concern  about  his  own  soul,  until  he  had 
been  with  me  a  considerable  time. 

"  Near  the  latter  end  of  July,  1744, 1  preached  to  an 
assembly  of  white  people,  with  more  freedom  and  fer- 
vency than  I  could  possibly  address  the  Indians  with, 
without  their  having  first  obtained  a  greater  measure 
of  doctrinal  knowledge.  At  this  time  he  was  present, 
and  was  somewhat  awakened  to  a  concern  for  his  soul ; 
so  that  the  next  day  he  discoursed  freely  with  me 
about  his  spiritual  concern?,  and  gave  me  an  opportu- 


140  LIFE   OP   BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  VII 

nity  to  use  further  endeavors  to  fasten  the  impressions 
of  his  perishing  state  upon  his  mind.  I  could  plainly 
perceive,  for  some  time  after  this,  that  he  addressed 
the  Indians  with  more  concern  and  fervency  than  he 
had  formerly  done. 

"  But  these  impressions  seemed  quickly  to  decline ; 
and  he  remained  in  a  great  measure  careless  and  se- 
cure, until  some  time  late  in  the  autumn  of  the  year 
following;  when  he  fell  into  a  weak  and  languishing 
state  of  body,  and  continued  much  disordered  for  seve- 
ral weeks  together.  At  this  season  divine  truth  took 
hold  of  him,  and  made  deep  impressions  upon  his  mind. 
He  was  brought  under  great  concern  for  his  soul ;  and 
his  exercises  were  not  now  transient  and  unsteady,  but 
constant  and  abiding,  so  that  his  mind  was  burdened 
from  day  to  day ;  and  it  was  now  his  great  inquiry, 
'  What  he  should  do  to  be  saved  ?'  This  spiritual 
trouble  prevailed,  until  his  sleep  in  a  great  measure 
departed  from  him,  and  he  had  little  rest  day  or  night ; 
but  walked  about  under  great  pressure  of  mind,  for  he 
was  still  able  to  walk,  and  appeared  like  another  man 
to  his  neighbors,  who  could  not  but  observe  his  beha- 
vior with  wonder.  After  he  had  been  some  time  under 
this  exercise,  while  he  was  striving  to  obtain  mercy, 
he  says  there  seemed  to  be  an  impassable  mountain. 
before  him.  He  was  pressing  toward  heaven,  as  he 
thought ;  but  '  his  way  was  hedged  up  with  thorns,  so 
that  he  could  not  stir  an  inch  further.'  He  looked 
this  way,  and  that  way,  but  could  find  no  way  at  all. 
He  thought  if  he  could  but  make  his  way  through 
these  thorns  and  briers,  and  climb  up  the  first  steep 
pitch  of  the  mountain,  that  then  there  might  be  hope 
for  him ;  but  no  way  or  means  could  he  find  to  ac- 
complish this.  Here  he  labored  for  a  time,  but  all  in 


1745.]  CONVERSION   OF   HIS   INTERPRETER.  141 

vain.  He  saw  it  was  impossible,  he  says,  for  him  ever 
to  help  himself  through  this  insupportable  difficulty — 
'  It  signified  just  nothing  at  all  for  him  to  struggle  and 
strive  any  more.'  Here,  he  says,  he  gave  over  striving, 
and  felt  that  it  was  a  gone  case  with  him  as  to  his  own 
power,  and  that  all  his  attempts  were,  and  for  ever 
would  be,  vain  and  fruitless.  Yet  he  was  more  calm 
and  composed  under  this  view  of  things,  than  he  had 
been  while  striving  to  help  himself. 

"While  he  was  giving  me  this  account  of  his  exer- 
cises, I  was  not  without  fears  that  what  he  related  was 
but  the  working  of  his  own  imagination,  and  not  the 
effect  of  any  divine  illumination  of  mind.  But  before 
I  had  time  to  discover  my  fears,  he  added,  that  at  this 
time  he  felt  himself  in  a  miserable  and  perishing  con- 
dition ;  that  he  saw  plainly  what  he  had  been  doing  all 
his  days ;  and  that  he  had  '  never  done  one  good  thing,' 
as  he  expressed  it.  He  knew  he  was  not  guilty  of  some 
wicked  actions  of  which  he  knew  some  others  guilty. 
He  had  not  been  accustomed  to  steal,  quarrel,  and 
murder  ;  the  latter  of  which  vices  are  common  among 
the  Indians.  He  likewise  knew  that  he  had  done  many 
things  that  were  right;  he  had  been  kind  to  his  neigh- 
bors, &c.  But  still  his  cry  was,  that '  he  had  never  (lone 
one  good  thing  ;'  meaning  that  he  had  never  done  any 
thing  from  a  right  principle,  and  with  a  right  view. 
1  And  now  I  thought,'  said  he,  '  that  I  must  sink  down 
to  hell;  that  there  was  no  hope  for  me,  because  I 
never  could  do  any  thing  that  was  good  :  and  if  God 
let  me  alone  ever  so  long,  and  I  should  try  ever  so 
much,  still  I  should  do  nothing  but  what  is  bad.' 

"  This  further  account  of  his  exercises  satisfied  me 
that  it  was  not  the  mere  working  of  his  imagination, 
since  he  appeared  so  evidently  to  die  to  himself,  and 


142  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.    VII. 

to  be  divorced  from  a  dependence  upon  his  own  righte- 
ousness and  good  deeds,  to  which  mankind  in  a  fallen 
state  are  so  much  attached,  and  upon  which  they  are 
so  ready  to  hope  for  salvation. 

"  There  was  one  thing  more  in  his  view  of  things 
at  this  time,  which  was  very  remarkable.  He  not  only 
eaw,  he  says,  what  a  miserable  state  he  himself  was  in ; 
but  he  likewise  saw  that  the  world  around  him,  in  gen- 
eral, were  in  the  same  perishing  circumstances,  not- 
withstanding the  profession  which  many  of  them  made 
of  Christianity,  and  the  hope  which  they  entertained  of 
obtaining  everlasting  happiness.  This  he  saw  clearly, 
'  as  if  he  was  now  waked  out  of  sleep,  or  had  a  cloud 
taken  from  his  eyes.'  He  saw  that  the  life  which  he 
had  lived  was  the  way  to  eternal  death,  that  he  was 
now  on  the  brink  of  endless  misery ;  and  when  he 
looked  around  he  saw  multitudes  of  others,  who  had 
lived  the  same  life  with  himself,  persons  who  had  no 
more  goodness  than  he,  and  yet  dreamed  that  they 
were  safe  enough,  as  he  had  formerly  done.  He  was 
fully  persuaded,  by  their  conversation  and  behavior, 
that  they  had  never  felt  their  sin  and  misery,  as  he 
now  felt  his. 

"After  he  had  been  for  some  time  in  this  condition, 
sensible  of  the  impossibility  of  helping  himself  by  any 
thing  he  could  do,  or  of  being  delivered  by  any  created 
arm ;  so  that  he  had  '  given  up  all  for  lost,'  as  to  his 
own  attempts,  and  was  become  more  calm  and  com- 
posed ;  then,  he  says,  it  was  borne  in  upon  his  mind,  as 
if  it  had  been  audibly  spoken  to  him,  '  There  is  hope, 
there  is  hope.'  Whereupon  his  soul  seemed  to  rest, 
and  be  in  some  measure  satisfied,  though  he  had  no 
considerable  joy. 

"He  cannot  here  remember  distinctly  any  views  he 


••jj* 

1745.]  CONVERSION    OP   HIS   INTERPRETER.  143 

had  of  Christ,  or  give  any  clear  account  of  his  soul's 
acceptance  of  him,  which  makes  his  experience  appear 
the  more  doubtful,  and  renders  it  less  satisfactory  to 
himself  and  others  than  it  might  be  if  he  could  remem- 
ber distinctly  the  apprehensions  and  actings  of  his 
mind  at  this  season.  But  these  exercises  of  soul  were 
attended  and  followed  with  a  very  great  change  in  the 
man ;  so  that  it  might  justly  be  said  he  was  become 
another  man,  if  not  a  new  man.  His  conversation  and 
deportment  were  much  altered  ;  and  even  the  careless 
world  could  not  but  wonder  what  had  befallen  him,  to 
make  so  great  a  change  in  his  temper,  discourse,  and 
behavior.  Especially  there  was  a  surprising  alteration 
in  his  public  performances.  He  now  addressed  the  In- 
dians with  admirable  fervency,  and  scarcely  knew 
when  to  leave  off.  Sometimes,  when  I  had  concluded 
my  discourse  and  was  returning  homeward,  he  would 
tarry  behind  to  repeat  and  inculcate  what  had  been 
spoken. 

"  His  change  is  abiding,  and  his  life,  so  far  as  I  know, 
unblemished  to  this  day ;  though  it  is  now  more  than 
six  months  since  he  experienced  this  change ;  in  which 
space  of  time  he  has  been  as  much  exposed  to  strong 
drink  as  possible,  in  divers  places  where  it  has  been 
moving  as  free  as  water;  and  yet  has  never,  that  I 
know  of,  discovered  any  hankering  desire  after  it.  He 
seems  to  have  a  very  considerable  experience  of  spiri- 
tual exercise,  and  discourses  feelingly  of  the  conflicts 
and  consolations  of  a  real  Christian.  His  heart  echoes 
to  the  soul-humbling  doctrines  of  grace,  and  he  never 
appears  better  pleased  than  when  he  hears  of  the  ab 
solute  sovereignty  of  God,  and  the  salvation  of  sinners 
in  a  way  of  mere  free  grace.  He  has  lately  had  also 
more  satisfaction  respecting  his  own  state  and  has 


144  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [.Chap.  VII 

been  much  enlightened  and  assisted  in  his  work ;  so 
that  he  has  been  a  great  comfort  to  me. 

(<  After  a  strict  observation  of  his  serious  and  savory 
conversation,  his  Christian  temper,  and  unblemished 
behavior  for  such  a  length  of  time,  as  well  as  his  ex 
perience,  of  which  I  have  given  an  account ;  I  think 
that  I  have  reason  to  hope  that  he  is  'created  anew  in 
Christ  Jesus  to  good  works.'  His  name  is  MOSES  FIN- 
DA  FAOTAURY.  He  is  about  fifty  years  of  age,  and  is 
pretty  well  acquainted  with  the  pagan  notions  and  cus- 
toms of  his  countrymen ;  and  so  is  the  better  able  now 
to  expose  them.  He  has,  I  am  persuaded,  already  been, 
and  I  trust  will  yet  be,  a  blessing  to  the  other  Indians. 

July  23. — "Preached  to  the  Indians,  but  had  few 
hearers:  Those  who  are  constantly  at  home,  seem,  of 
late,  to  be  under  some  impressions  of  a  religious  nature. 

July  30. — "Discoursed  to  a  number  of  my  people, 
and  gave  them  some  particular  advice  and  direction  ; 
being  now  about  to  leave  them  for  the  present,  in  or 
der  to  renew  my  visit  to  the  Indians  in  New-Jersey. 
They  were  very  attentive  to  my  discourse,  and  earnest- 
ly desirous  to  know  when  I  designed  to  return  to  them 
again." 

Crossweeksung,  (New- Jersey,)  August,  1745. 

Aug.  3. — "I  visited  the  Indians  in  these  parts  in  June 
last,  and  tarried  with  them  a  considerable  time,  preach- 
ing almost  daily ;  at  which  season  God  was  pleased  to 
pour  upon  them  a  spirit  of  awakening  and  concern  for 
them  souls,  and  surprisingly  to  engage  their  attention 
to  divine  truths.  I  now  found  them  serious,  and  a  num- 
ber of  them  under  deep  concern  for  an  irtterest  in 
Christ.  Their  convictions  of  their  sinful  and  perish- 


1745.]  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNG.  145 

ing  stale  were,  in  my  absence  from  them,  much  promo- 
led  by  the  labors  and  endeavors  of  Rev.  WILLIAM  TEN- 
KENT  ;  to  whom  I  had  advised  them  to  apply  for  direc- 
tion ;  and  whose  house  they  frequented  much  while  I 
was  gone.  I  preached  to  them  this  day  with  some 
view  to  Rev.  22:17.  'And  whosoever  will,  let  him 
take  of  the  water  of  life  freely;'  though  I  could  not 
pretend  to  handle  the  subject  methodically  among 
them.  The  Lord,  I  am  persuaded,  enabled  me,  in  a 
manner  somewhat  uncommon,  to  set  before  them  the 
Lord  Jesus  Christ  as  a  kind  and  compassionate  Savior, 
inviting  distressed  and  perishing  sinners  to  accept  ever- 
lasting mercy.  A  surprising  concern  soon  became  ap- 
parent among  them.  There  were  about  twenty  adult 
persons  together ;  many  of  the  Indians  at  remote  pla- 
ces not  having  as  yet  had  time  to  come  since  my  re- 
turn hither ;  and  not  above  two  that  I  could  see  with 
dry  eyes. 

"  Some  were  much  concerned,  and  discovered  vehe- 
ment longings  of  soul  after  Christ,  to  save  them  from 
the  misery  they  felt  and  feared. 

lord's  day,  Aug.  4. — "Being  invited  by  a  neighbor- 
ing minister  to  assist  in  the  administration  of  the  Lord's 
supper,  I  complied  with  his  request,  and  took  the  In- 
dians along  with  me ;  not  only  those  who  were  togeth- 
er the  day  before,  but  many  more  who  were  coming  to 
hear  me  ;  so  that  there  were  nearly  fifty  in  all,  old  and 
young.  They  attended  the  several  discourses  of  the 
day;  and  some  of  them,  who  could  understand  English, 
were  much  affected ;  and  all  seemed  to  have  their  con- 
cern in  some  measure  raised. 

"Now  a  change  in  their  manners  began  to  appear 
rery  visible.  In  the  evening,  when  they  came  to  sup 
together  they  would  not  taste  a  morsel  until  they  had 

Brainerd.  10 


146  LIFE   OF   BHAINERO.  LC)>aP-    VIJ. 

sent  to  me  to  come  and  supplicate  a  blessing  on  their 
food;  at  which  time  sundry  of  them  wept;  especially 
when  I  reminded  them  how  they  had  in  times  past  eat 
their  feasts  in  honor  to  devils,  and  neglected  to  thank 
God  for  them. 

August  5. — "After  a  sermon  had  been  preached  by 
another  minister,  I  preached,  and  concluded  the  public 
work  of  the  solemnity  from  John,  7  :  37 ;  and  in  my 
discourse  addressed  the  Indians  in  particular,  who  sat 
in  a  part  of  the  house  by  themselves;  at  which  time 
one  or  two  of  them  were  struck  with  deep  concern,  as 
they  afterward  told  me,  who  had  been  little  affected 
before ;  and  others  had  their  concern  increased  to  a 
considerable  degree.  In  the  evening,  the  greater  part 
of  them  being  at  the  house  where  I  lodged,  I  discoursed 
to  them,  and  found  them  universally  engaged  about 
their  soul's  concerns;  inquiring  'what  they  should  do 
to  be  saved.'  All  their  conversation  among  themselves 
turned  upon  religious  matters,  in  which  they  were 
assisted  by  my  Interpreter,  who  was  with  them  day 
and  night. 

"  This  day  there  was  one  woman,  who  had  been 
much  concerned  for  her  soul  ever  since  she  first  heard 
me  preach  in  June  last,  who  obtained  comfort,  I  trust, 
solid  and  well  grounded.  She  seemed  to  be  filled  with 
love  to  Christ.  At  the  same  time  she  behaved  humbly 
and  tenderly,  and  appeared  afraid  of  nothing  so  much 
as  of  offending  and  grieving  him  whom  her  soul  loved. 

Aug.  6. — "  In  the  morning  I  discoursed  to  the  In- 
dians at  the  house  where  we  lodged.  Many  of  them 
were  much  affected,  and  appeared  surprisingly  tender,- 
so  that  a  few  words  about  the  concerns  of  their  souls 
would  cause  the  tears  to  flow  freely,  and  produce  many 
sobs  and  groans.  In  the  afternoon  they  being  returned 


1745.]  OUTPOURING   OF   THE  SPIRIT.  147 

to  the  place  where  I  had  usually  preached  among 
them,  I  again  discoursed  to  them  there.  There  were 
about  fifty-jive  persons  in  all ;  about  forty  that  were 
capable  of  attending  Divine  service  with  understand- 
ing. I  insisted  on  1  John,  4:10.  '  Herein"  is  love.5 
&c.  They  seemed  eager  of  hearing  ;  but  there  ap 
peared  nothing  very  remarkable,  except  their  atten- 
tion, till  near  the  close  of  my  discourse  ;  and  then 
Divine  truth  was  attended  with  a  surprising  influence, 
and  produced  a  great  concern  among  them.  There 
were  scarcely  three  in  forty  who  could  refrain  from 
tears  and  bitter  cries.  They  all  as  one  seemed  in  an 
agony  of  soul  to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ ;  and  the 
more  I  discoursed  of  the  love  and  compassion  of  God 
in  sending  his  Son  to  suffer  for  the  sins  of  men ;  and 
the  more  I  invited  them  to  come  and  partake  of  his 
love  ;  the  more  their  distress  was  aggravated,  because 
they  felt  themselves  unable  to  come.  It  was  surprising 
to  see  how  their  hearts  seemed  to  be  pierced  with  the 
tender  and  melting  invitations  of  the  Gospel,  when 
there  was  not  a  word  of  terror  spoken  to  them. 

"  There  were  this  day  two  persons  who  obtained 
relief  and  comfort;  which,  when  I  came  to  discourse 
with  them  particularly,  appeared  solid,  rational,  and 
scriptural.  After  I  had  inquired  into  the  grounds  of 
their  comfort,  and  said  many  things  which  I  thought 
proper  to  them  ;  I  asked  them  what  they  wanted  that 
God  should  do  farther  for  them?  They  replied,  '  they 
wanted  Christ  should  wipe  their  hearts  quite  clean,' 
&c.  So  surprising  were  now  the  doings  of  the  Lord, 
that  I  can  say  no  less  of  this  day,  and  I  need  say  no 
more  of  it,  than  that  the  arm  of  the  Lord  was  power- 
fully and  marvellously  revealed  in  it. 

Aug.  7. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians  from  Isaiah,  53: 


148  UFE    OF    BRAINBRD.  [Chap.  Vll. 

3-10.  There  was  a  remarkable  influence  attending 
the  word,  and  great  concern  in  the  assembly  ;  but 
scarcely  equal  to  what  appeared  the  day  before ,  that 
is,  not  quite  so  universal.  However,  most  were  much 
affected,  and  many  in  great  distress  for  their  souls ; 
and  some  few  could  neither  go  nor  stand,  but  lay  flat 
on  the  ground,  as  if  pierced  at  heart,  crying  incessantly 
for  mercy.  Several  were  newly  awakened ;  and  it 
was  remarkable  that  as  fast  as  they  came  from  remote 
places  round  about,  the  Spirit  of  God  seemed  to  seize 
them  with  concern  for  their  souls.  After  public  ser- 
vice was  concluded  I  found  two  persons  more  who 
had  newly  met  with  comfort,  of  whom  I  had  good 
hopes ;  and  a  third  of  whom  I  could  not  but  entertain 
some  hopes,  whose  case  did  not  appear  so  clear  as  the 
others  ;  so  that  there  were  now  six  in  all,  who  had  got 
some  relief  from  their  spiritual  distresses ;  and  five 
whose  experience  appeared  very  clear  and  satisfactory. 
It  is  worthy  of  remark,  that  those  who  obtained  com- 
fort first  were  in  general  deeply  affected  with  concern 
for  their  souls  when  I  preached  to  them  in  June  last. 
Aug.  8. — "  In  the  afternoon  I  preached  to  the  In- 
dians, their  number  was  now  about  sixty-five  persons ; 
men,  women,  and  children.  I  discoursed  upon  Luke 
14  :  16-23,  and  was  favored  with  uncommon  freedom. 
There  was  much  visible  concern  among  them  while  I 
was  discoursing  publicly;  but  afterward,  when  I  spoke 
to  one  and  another  more  particularly,  whom  I  per- 
ceived under  much  concern,  the  power  of  God  seemed 
to  descend  upon  the  assembly  '  like  a  miglity  rushing 
tw'ncZ,'  and  with  an  astonishing  energy  bore  down  all 
before  it.  I  stood  amazed  at  the  influence  which  seized 
the  audience  almost  universally ;  and  could  compare 
it  to  nothing  more  aptly  than  the  irresistible  force  of  a 


1745.]  OUTPODRINQ   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  149 

mighty  torrent,  or  swelling  deluge,  that  with  its  insup- 
portable weight  and  pressure  bears  down  and  sweeps 
before  it  whatever  is  in  its  way.  Almost  all  persons 
of  all  ages  were  bowed  down  with  concern  together, 
and  scarcely  one  was  able  to  withstand  the  shock  of 
this  surprising  operation.  Old  men  and  women  who 
had  been  drunken  wretches  for  many  years,  and  some 
little  children  not  more  than  six  or  seven  years  of  age, 
appeared  in  distress  for  their  souls,  as  well  as  persons 
of  middle  age.  It  was  apparent  that  these  children, 
some  of  them  at  least,  were  not  merely  frightened  with 
seeing  the  general  concern,  but  were  made  sensible  of 
their  danger,  the  badness  of  their  hearts,  and  their 
misery  without  Christ,  as  some  of  them  expressed  it. 
The  most  stubborn  hearts  were  now  obliged  to  bow. 
A  principal  man  among  the  Indians,  who  before  was 
most  secure  and  self-righteous,  and  thought  his  state 
good,  because  he  knew  more  than  the  generality  of  the 
Indians  had  formerly  done  ;  and  who  with  a  great  de- 
gree of  confidence  the  day  before  told  me  '  he  had 
been  a  Christian  more  than  ten  years ;'  was  now  brought 
under  solemn  concern  for  his  sou],  and  wept  bitterly. 
Another  man  advanced  in  years,  who  had  been  a  mur- 
derer, apaivaw  or  conjurer,  and  a  notorious  drunkard, 
was  likewise  brought  now  to  cry  for  mercy  with  ma- 
ny tears,  and  to  complain  much  that  he  could  be  no 
more  concerned,  when  he  saw  his  danger  so  very  great. 
"  They  were  almost  universally  praying  and  crying 
for  mercy  in  every  part  of  the  house,  and  many  out  of 
doors ;  and  numbers  could  neither  go  nor  stand. 
Their  concern  was  so  great,  each  one  for  himself,  that 
none  seemed  to  take  any  notice  of  those  about  them, 
but  each  prayed  freely  for  himself.  I  am  led  to  think 
thov  were,  to  their  own  apprehensions,  as  much  retired 


150  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VII. 

as  if  they  had  been  individually  by  themselves,  in  the 
thickest  desert ;  or  I  believe  rather  that  they  thought 
about  nothing  but  themselves,  and  their  own  state, 
and  so  were  every  one  praying  apart,  although  all  to- 
gether. It  seemed  to  me  that  there  was  now  an  exact 
fulfilment  of  that  prophecy,  Zech.  12  :  10, 11,  12  ;  for 
there  was  now  '  a  great  mourning,  like  the  mourning 
of  Hadadrimmon  ;' — and  each  seemed  to  '  mourn 
apart.'  Methought  this  had  a  near  resemblance  to  (he 
day  of  God's  power,  mentioned  in  Josh.  10 :  14;  for  1 
must  say  I  never'saw  any  day  like  it,  in  all  respects : 
it  was  a  day  wherein  I  am  persuaded  the  Lord  did 
much  to  destroy  the  kingdom  of  darkness  among  this 
people. 

"  This  concern,  in  general,  was  most  rational  and 
just.  Those  who  had  been  awakened  any  considerable 
time,  complained  more  especially  of  the  badness  of 
their  hearts;  and  those  who  were  newly  awakened,  of 
the  badness  of  their  lives  and  actions ;  and  all  were 
afraid  of  the  anger  of  God,  and  of  everlasting  misery 
as  the  desert  of  their  sins.  Some  of  the  white  people 
who  came  out  of  curiosity  to  hear  what '  this  babbler 
would  say'  to  the  poor  ignorant  Indians,  were  much 
awakened ;  and  some  appeared  to  be  wounded  with  a 
view  of  their  perishing  state.  Those  who  had  lately 
obtained  relief,  were  filled  with  comfort  at  this  season 
They  appeared  calm  and  composed,  and  seemed  to 
rejoice  in  Christ  Jesus.  Some  of  them  took  their  dis- 
tressed friends  by  the  hand,  telling  them  of  the  good 
ness  of  Christ,  and  the  comfort  that  is  to  be  enjoyed  in 
him ;  and  thence  invited  them  to  come  and  give  up 
their  hearts  to  him.  I  could  observe  some  of  them,  in 
the  most  honest  and  unaffected  manner,  without  any 
design  of  being  taken  notice  of,  lifting  up  their  eyes 


1745.J  OUTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  151 

to  heaven,  as  if  crying  for  mercy,  while  they  saw  the 
distress  of  the  poor  souls  around  them.  There  was 
one  remarkable  instance  of  awakening  this  day  which 
I  cannot  fail  to  notice  here.  A  young  Indian  woman, 
who,  I  believe,  never  knew  before  that  she  had  a  soul, 
nor  ever  thought  of  any  such  thing,  hearing  that  there 
was  something  strange  among  the  Indians,  came,  it 
seems,  to  see  what  was  the  matter.  In  her  way  to 
the  Indians  she  called  at  my  lodgings ;  and  when  I 
told  her  that  I  designed  presently  to  preach  to  the  In- 
dians, laughed,  and  seemed  to  mock ;  but  went  however 
to  them.  I  had  not  proceeded  far  in  my  public  discourse 
before  she  felt  effectually  that  she  had  a  soul;  and  be- 
fore I  had  concluded  my  discourse  was  so  convinced 
of  her  sin  and  misery,  and  so  distressed  with  concern 
for  her  soul's  salvation,  that  she  seemed  like  one 
pierced  through  with  a  dart,  and  cried  out  incessantly. 
She  could  neither  go  nor  stand,  nor  sit  on  her  seat 
without  being  held  up.  After  public  service  was  over 
she  lay  flat  on  the  ground,  praying  earnestly,  and 
would  take  no  notice  of,  nor  give  any  answer  to  any 
who  spoke  to  her.  I  hearkened  to  what  she  said,  and 
perceived  the  burden  of  her  prayer  to  be,  '  Guttum- 
maukalummeh  wechaumeh  kmeleh  Nolafi,'  i.  e.  '  Have 
mercy  on  me,  and  help  me  to  give  you  my  heart.'  Thus 
she  continued  praying  incessantly  for  many  hours 
together.  This  was  indeed  a  surprising  day  of  God's 
power,  and  seemed  enough  to  convince  an  Atheist  of 
the  truth,  importance,  and  power  of  God's  word. 

Augf.  9. — "  Spent  almost  the  whole  day  with  the  In- 
dians •  the  former  part  of  it  in  discoursing  to  many  of 
them  privately,  and  especially  to  some  who  had  lately 
received  comfort,  and  endeavoring  to  inquire  into  the 
grounds  of  it,  as  well  as  to  give  them  some  proper  in- 
structions, cautions  and  directions. 


152  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [.Chap.  VII. 

"In  the  afternoon  discoursed  to  them  publicly. 
There  were  now  present  about  seventy  persons,  old 
and  young.  I  opened  and  applied  the  parable  of  the 
sower,  Matt.  13.  Was  enabled  to  discourse  with  much 
plainness,  and  found  afterward  that  this  discourse  was 
very  instructive  to  them.  There  were  many  tears 
among  them  while  I  was  discoursing  publicly,  but  no 
considerable  cry  ;  yet  some  were  much  affected  with  a 
few  words  spoken  from  Matt.  11  :  28,  'Come  unto  me 
all  ye  that  labor,'  &c.  with  which  I  concluded  my  dis- 
course. But,  while  I  was  discoursing  near  night  to 
two  or  three  of  the  awakened  persons,  a  Divine  in- 
fluence seemed  to  attend  what  was  spoken  to  them  in 
a  powerful  manner,  which  caused  the  persons  to  cry 
out  in  anguish  of  soul,  although  I  spoke  not  a  word  of 
terror,  but  on  the  contrary,  set  before  them  the  fullness 
and  all-sufficiency  of  Christ's  merits,  and  his  willing- 
ness to  save  all  that  come  to  him,  and  thereupon  pressed 
them  to  come  without  delay.  The  cry  of  these  was  soon 
heard  by  others,  who,  though  scattered  before,  imme- 
diately gathered  round.  I  then  proceeded  in  the  same 
strain  of  gospel  invitation,  till  they  were  all  melted 
into  tears  and  cries  except  two  or  three ;  and  seemed 
in  the  greatest  distress  to  find  and  secure  an  interest  in 
the  great  Redeemer.  Some  who  had  little  more  than 
a  ruffle  made  in  their  passions  the  day  before,  seemed 
now  to  be  deeply  affected  and  wounded  at  heart ;  and 
the  concern  in  general  appeared  nearly  as  prevalent  as 
the  day  before.  There  was  indeed  a  very  great  mount- 
ing among  them,  and  yet  every  one  seemed  to  mourn 
apart.  For  so  great  was  their  concern,  that  almost 
every  one  was  praying  and  crying  for  himself,  as  if 
none  had  been  near.  '  Gutlummauhalummeh ;  Gut- 
tummauhalummehj  i.  e.  '  Have  mercy  upon  vie  hove 


1745.]  OUTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  153 

mercy  upon  me,'  was  the  common  cry.  It  was  very 
affecting  to  see  the  poor  Indians,  who  the  other  day 
were  hallooing  and  yelling  in  their  idolatrous  feasts 
and  drunken  frolics,  now  crying  to  God  with  such  im- 
portunity for  an  interest  in  his  dear  Son !  Found  two 
or  three  persons  who,  I  had  reason  to  hope,  had  taken 
comfort  upon  good  grounds  since  the  evening  before ; 
and  these,  with  others  who  had  obtained  comfort,  were 
together,  and  seemed  to  rejoice  much  that  God  was 
carrying  on  his  work  with  such  power  upon  others. 

August  10. — "  Rode  to  the  Indians,  and  began  to  dis- 
course more  privately  to  those  who  had  obtained  com- 
fort and  satisfaction  ;  endeavoring  to  instruct,  direct, 
caution,  and  comfort  them.  But  others,  being  eager 
of  hearing  every  word  which  related  to  spiritual  con- 
cerns, soon  came  together  one  after  another ;  and,  when 
I  had  discoursed  to  the  young  converts  more  than  half 
an  hour,  they  seemed  much  melted  with  divine  things, 
and  earnestly  desirous  to  be  with  Christ.  I  told  them 
of  the  godly  soul's  perfect  purity  and  full  enjoyment 
of  Christ,  immediately  upon  its  separation  from  the 
body ;  and  that  it  would  be  for  ever  inconceivably  more 
happy  than  they  had  ever  been  for  any  short  space  of 
tune,  when  Christ  seemed  near  to  them  in  prayer  or 
other  duties.  That  I  might  make  way  for  speaking  of 
the  resurrection  of  the  body,  and  thence  of  the  com- 
plete blessedness  of  the  man ;  I  said,  '  But  perhaps 
some  of  you  will  say,  I  love  my  body  as  well  as  my 
soul,  and  I  cannot  bear  to  think  that  my  body  shall  lie 
dead,  if  my  soul  is  happy.'  To  which  they  all  cheer- 
fully replied,  '  Muttoh,  Multoh?  before  I  had  opportu- 
nity to  prosecute  what  I  designed  respecting  the  resur- 
rection ;  i.  e.  '  2Vo,  No?  They  did  not  regard  their  bo- 
dies, if  their  souls  might  be  with  Christ.  Then  they 


154  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VII. 

appeared  willing  to  be  absent  from  the  body,  that  they 
might  be  present  with  the  Lord. 

"  When  I  had  spent  some  time  with  them  I  tui  ned 
to  the  other  Indians,  and  spoke  to  them  from  Luke, 
19  :  10.  '  For  the  Son  of  man  is  come  to  seek  and  to 
save  that  which  was  lost.  I  had  not  discoursed  long 
before  their  concern  rose  to  a  great  degree,  and  the 
house  was  filled  with  cries  and  groans.  When  I  in- 
sisted on  the  compassion  and  care  of  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ  for  those  that  were  lost,  who  thought  themselves 
undone,  and  could  find  no  way  of  escape ;  this  melted 
them  down  the  more,  and  aggravated  their  distress, 
that  they  could  not  find  and  come  to  so  kind  a  Savior. 

"  Sundry  persons,  who  before  had  been  slightly 
awakened,  were  now  deeply  wounded  with  a  sense  of 
their  sin  and  misery.  One  man  in  particular,  who  was 
never  before  awakened,  was  now  made  to  feel  that '  the 
word  of  the  Lord  was  quick  and  powerful,  sharper 
than  any  two-edged  sword.'  He  seemed  to  be  pierced 
at  heart  with  distress,  and  his  concern  appeared  ra- 
tional and  scriptural,  for  he  said  that  '  all  the  wicked- 
ness of  his  past  life  was  brought  fresh  to  his  remem- 
brance, and  that  he  saw  all  the  vile  actions  he  had  done 
formerly,  as  if  done  but  yesterday.' 

"  Found  one  who  had  newly  received  comfort,  after 
pressing  distress  from  day  to  day.  Could  not  but  re- 
joice and  admire  the  divine  goodness  in  what  appeared 
this  day.  There  seems  to  be  some  good  done  by  every 
discourse ;  some  newly  awakened  every  day,  and  some 
comforted.  It  was  refreshing  to  observe  the  conduct 
of  those  who  obtained  comfort :  while  others  were  dis- 
tressed with  fear  and  concern,  they  were  lifting  up 
their  hearts  to  God  for  them. 

day,  Aug.  11. — "  Discoursed  in  the  forenoon 


1745. J  ODTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  155 

from  the  parable  of  the  Prodigal  Son.  Luke,  15.  Ob- 
served no  such  remarkable  effect  of  the  word  upon  the 
assembly  as  in  days  past.  There  were  numbers  of 
careless  spectators  from  the  white  people,  of  various 
characters.  In  the  afternoon  I  discoursed  upon  a  part 
of  Peter's  sermon.  Acts,  2.  And  at  the  close  of  my 
discourse  to  the  Indians,  made  an  address  to  the  white 
people ;  and  divine  truth  seemed  then  to  be  attended 
with  power,  both  to  English  and  Indians.  Several  of 
the  white  heathen  were  awakened,  and  could  not 
longer  be  idle  spectators ;  but  found  they  had  souls  to 
save  or  lose  as  well  as  the  Indians ;  and  a  great  concern 
spread  through  the  whole  assembly  ;  so  that  this  also 
appeared  to  be  a  day  of  God's  power,  especially  to- 
ward the  conclusion  of  it,  although  the  influence  at- 
tending the  word  seemed  scarcely  so  powerful  now  as 
in  some  days  past. 

"  The  number  of  Indians,  old  and  young,  was  now 
upward  of  seventy  ;  and  one  or  two  were  newly  awak- 
ened this  day  who  never  had  appeared  to  be  moved 
with  concern  for  their  souls  before.  Those  who  had 
obtained  relief  and  comfort,  and  had  given  hopeful 
evidences  of  having  passed  a  saving  change,  appeared 
humble  and  devout,  and  behaved  in  an  agreeable  and 
Christian-like  manner.  I  was  refreshed  to  see  the  ten- 
derness of  conscience  manifest  in  some  of  them ;  one 
instance  of  which  I  cannot  but  notice.  Perceiving  one 
of  them  very  sorrowful  in  the  morning,  I  inquired  into 
the  cause  of  her  sorrow,  and  found  the  difficulty  was, 
that  she  had  been  angry  with  her  child  the  evening 
before,  and  was  now  exercised  with  fears  lest  her  anger 
had  been  inordinate  and  sinful ;  which  so  grieved  her 
that  she  awoke  and  began  to  sob  before  day  light,  and 
continued  weeping  for  several  hours  together. 


156  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VJ1. 

August  14.—  "  Spent  the  day  with  the  Indians.  There 
was  one  of  them  who  had  some  time  since  put  away 
his  wife,  as  is  common  among  them,  and  taken  another 
woman ;  and  being  now  brought  under  some  serious 
impressions,  was  much  concerned  about  that  affair  in 
particular,  and  seemed  fully  convinced  of  the  wicked- 
ness of  the  practice,  and  earnestly  desirous  to  know 
what  God  would  have  him  to  do  in  his  present  circum- 
stances. When  the  law  of  God  respecting  marriage 
had  been  opened  to  them,  and  the  cause  of  his  leaving 
his  wife  inquired  into,  and  when  it  appeared  that  she 
had  given  him  no  just  occasion,  by  unchastity,  to  de- 
sert her,  and  that  she  was  willing  to  forgive  his  past 
misconduct  and  to  live  peaceably  with  him  for  the  fu- 
ture, and  that  she,  moreover,  insisted  on  it  as  her  right 
to  live  with  him  ;  he  was  then  told  that  it  was  his  in- 
dispensable duty  to  renounce  the  woman  whom  he 
had  last  taken,  and  receive  the  other,  who  was  his 
proper  wife,  and  live  peaceably  with  her  during  life. 
With  this  he  readily  and  cheerfully  complied ;  and 
thereupon  publicly  renounced  the  woman  he  had  last 
taken,  and  promised  to  live  with  and  be  kind  to  his 
wife  during  life ;  she  also  promising  the  same  to  him. 
Here  appeared  a  clear  demonstration  of  the  power  of 
God's  word  upon  their  hearts.  I  suppose  a  few  weeks 
oefore  the  whole  world  could  not  have  persuaded  this 
man  to  a  compliance  with  Christian  rules  in  this  affair. 

"  I  was  not  without  fears  that  this  proceeding  might 
be  like  putting  '  new  wine  into  old  bottles ;'  and  that 
some  might  be  prejudiced  against  Christianity,  when 
they  saw  the  demands  made  by  it.  But  the  man  being 
much  concerned  about  the  matter,  the  determination 
of  it  could  be  deferred  no  longer ;  and  it  seemed  to  have 
a  good,  rather  than  an  ill  effect  among  the  Indians,  who 


1745.J  OUTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  ]57 

generally  owned  that  the  laws  of  Christ  were  good  and 
right  respecting  the  affairs  of  marriage.  In  the  after- 
noon I  preached  to  them  from  the  apostle's  discourse 
to  Cornelius.  Acts,  10  :  34.  There  appeared  some  af- 
fectionate concern  among  them,  though  not  equal  to 
what  appeared  in  several  of  the  former  days.  They 
still  attended  and  heard  as  for  their  lives,  and  the 
Lord's  work  seemed  still  to  be  promoted  and  propa- 
gated among  them. 

August  15.—"  Preached  from  Luke,  4  :  16-21.  The 
word  was  attended  with  power  upon  the  hearts  of  the 
hearers.  There  was  much  concern,  many  tears,  and 
affecting  cries  among  them ;  and  some  were  deeply 
wounded  and  distressed  for  their  souls.  There  were 
some  newly  awakened  who  came  but  this  week,  and 
convictions  seemed  to  be  promoted  in  others.  Those 
who  had  received  comfort,  were  likewise  refreshed  and 
strengthened  ;  and  the  work  of  grace  appeared  to  ad- 
vance in  all  respects.  The  passions  of  the  congrega- 
tion in  general  were  not  so  much  moved  as  in  some 
days  past ;  but  their  hearts  seemed  as  solemnly  and  deep- 
ly affected  with  divine  truth  as  ever,  at  least  in  many 
instances,  although  the  concern  did  not  seem  so  uni- 
versal, and  to  reach  every  individual  in  such  a  manner 
as  it  appeared  to  do  some  days  before. 

August.  16. — "  Spent  considerable  time  in  convers- 
ing with  the  Indians.  Found  one  who  had  got  relief 
and  comfort  after  pressing  concern ;  and  could  not  but 
hope,  when  I  came  to  discourse  particularly  with  her, 
that  her  comfort  was  01  the  right  kind.  In  the  after- 
noon I  preached  to  them  from  John,  6  :  26-34.  To- 
ward the  close  of  my  discourse  divine  truth  was  at- 
tended with  considerable  power  upon  the  audience, 


158  LIFE   OP   BRAINEHD.  (_Chup.  Vll. 

and  more  especially  after  public  service  was  over,  when 
I  particularly  addressed  several  distressed  persons. 

"  There  was  a  great  concern  for  their  souls  spread 
pretty  generally  among  them  ;  but  especially  there 
were  two  persons  newly  awakened  to  a  sense  of  their 
sin  and  misery ;  one  of  whom  was  lately  come,  and 
the  other  had  all  along  been  very  attentive  and  desirous 
of  being  awakened,  but  could  never  before  have  any 
lively  view  of  her  perishing  state.  Now  her  concern 
and  spiritual  distress  was  such,  that  I  thought  I  had 
never  seen  any  more  pressing.  A  number  of  old  men 
were  also  in  distress  for  their  souls  ;  so  that  they  could 
not  refrain  from  weeping  and  crying  aloud  ;  and  their 
bitter  groans  were  the  most  convincing  as  well  as  af- 
fecting evidences  of  the  reality  and  depth  of  their  in- 
ward anguish.  God  is  powerfully  at  work  among 
them.  True  and  genuine  convictions  of  sin  are  daily 
promoted  in  many  instances ;  and  some  are  newly 
awakened  from  time  to  time ;  although  some  few,  who 
felt  a  commotion  in  their  passions  in  days  past,  seem 
now  to  discover  that  their  hearts  were  never  duly  af- 
fected. I  never  saw  the  work  of  God  appear  so  inde- 
pendent of  means  as  at  this  time.  I  discoursed  to  the 
people,  and  spake  what  I  suppose  had  a  proper  ten- 
dency to  promote  convictions ;  but  God's  manner  of 
working  upon  them  seemed  so  entirely  supernatural, 
and  above  means,  that  I  could  scarcely  believe  he  used 
me  as  an  instrument,  or  what  I  spake  as  means  of  car- 
rying on  his  work.  For  it  appeared,  as  I  thought,  to 
have  no  connection  with  or  dependence  on  means  in 
any  respect.  Though  I  could  not  but  continue  to  use 
the  means,  which  I  thought  proper  for  the  promotion 
of  the  work,  yet  God  seemed,  as  I  apprehended,  to 
work  entirely  without  them.  I  seemed  to  do  nothing, 


1745.]  OUTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  159 

and  indeed  to  have  nothing  to  do,  but  to  '  stand  still, 
and  see  the  salvation  of  God  j'  and  found  myself  obliged 
and  delighted  to  say,  '  Not  unto  us,'  not  unto  instru- 
ments and  means,  '  but  to  thy  name  be  glory.'  God  ap- 
peared to  work  entirely  alone,  and  1  saw  no  room  to 
attribute  any  part  of  this  work  to  any  created  arm. 

Aug.  17. — "  Spent  much  time  in  private  conferences 
with  the  Indians.  Found  one  who  had  newly  obtained 
relief  and  comfort,  after  a  long  season  of  spiritual 
trouble  and  distress;  he  having  been  one  of  my 
hearers  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  for  more  than  a  year, 
and  now  having  followed  me  here  under  deep  con- 
cern for  his  soul ;  and  had  abundant  reason  to  hope 
that  his  comfort  was  well  grounded,  and  truly  divine. 

Lord's  day,  Aug.  18. — "  Preached  in  the  forenoon  to 
a  mixed  assembly  of  white  people,  of  divers  denomina- 
tions. Afterward  preached  to  the  Indians,  from  John 
6  :  35-40.  There  was  considerable  concern  visible 
among  them,  though  not  equal  to  what  has  frequently 
appeared  of  late. 

Aug.  19. — "  Preached  from  Isaiah,  55  :  1.  '  Ho  every 
one  that  thirsteth.'  Divine  truth  was  attended  with 
power  upon  those  who  had  received  comfort,  and 
others  also.  The  former  sweetly  melted  and  refreshed 
with  divine  invitations  ;  the  latter  much  concerned  for 
their  souls,  that  they  might  obtain  an  interest  in  these 
glorious  gospel  provisions  which  were  set  before  them. 
There  were  numbers  of  poor  impotent  souls  that 
waited  at  the  pool  for  healing ;  and  the  angel  seemed, 
as  at  other  times  of  late,  to  trouble  the  waters,  so  that 
there  was  yet  a  most  desirable  and  comfortable  pros- 
pect of  the  spiritual  recovery  of  diseased  perishing 
sinners. 

Ang  23. — "  Spent  some  time  with  the  Indians  in  pri- 


160  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   VII 

vate  discourse ;  and  afterward  preached  to  them  from 
John,  6  :  44-50.  There  was,  as  has  been  usual,  a  great 
attention,  and  some  affection  among  them.  Several 
appeared  deeply  concerned  for  their  souls,  and  could 
not  but  express  their  inward  anguish  by  tears  and  cries. 
But  the  amazing  divine  influence,  which  has  been  so 
powerfully  among  them  in  general,  seems  at  present  in 
some  degree  abated :  at  least  in  regard  to  its  univer- 
sality ;  though  many  who  have  obtained  no  special 
comfort  still  retain  deep  impressions  of  divine  things 

Aug.  24. — "  Spent  the  forenoon  in  discoursing  to 
some  of  the  Indians  in  reference  to  their  publicly  pro- 
fessing Christ.  Numbers  of  ihem  seemed  to  be  filled 
with  love  to  God,  delighted  with  the  thoughts  of  giving 
themselves  up  to  him,  and  melted  and  refreshed  with 
the  hopes  of  enjoying  the  blessed  Redeemer.  After- 
ward I  discoursed  publicly  from  1  Thess.  4  :  13-17. 
There  was  a  solemn  attention,  and  some  visible  con- 
cern and  affection  in  the  time  of  public  service; 
which  was  afterward  increased  by  some  further  exhor- 
tations given  to  them  to  come  to  Christ,  and  give  up 
their  hearts  to  him.  that  they  might  be  fitted  to  '  ascend 
up  and  meet  him  in  the  air,'  when  he  shall  'descend 
with  a  shout,  and  the  voice  of  the  archangel. ' 

"  There  were  several  Indians  newly  come,  who 
thought  their  state  good,  and  themselves  happy,  be- 
cause they  had  sometimes  lived  with  the  white  people 
under  gospel  light,  had  learned  to  read,  were  civil,  &c., 
although  they  appeared  utter  strangers  to  their  own 
hearts,  and  altogether  unacquainted,  with  the  power  of 
religion,  as  well  as  with  the  doctrines  of  grace.  With 
these  I  discoursed  particularly,  after  public  worship ; 
and  was  surprised  to  see  their  self-righteous  disposi- 
tion, their  strong  attachment  to  the  covenant  of  works 


1745.J  OUTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  161 

for  salvation,  and  the  high  value  they  put  upon  their 
supposed  attainments.  Yet  after  much  discourse,  one 
appeared  in  a  measure  convinced  that  'by  the  deeds  of 
the  law  no  flesh  living  can  be  justified;'  and  wept  bit- 
terly, inquiring  '  what  he  must  do  to  be  saved.' 

"  This  was  very  comfortable  to  others,  who  had 
gained  some  experimental  knowledge  of  their  own 
hearts ;  for  before  they  were  grieved  with  the  conver- 
sation and  conduct  of  these  new  comers,  who  boasted 
of  their  knowledge,  and  thought  well  of  themselves, 
but  evidently  discovered  to  those  who  had  any  expe- 
rience of  divine  truth,  that  they  knew  nothing  of  their 
own  hearts. 

Lord's  day,  Aug.  25. — "  Preached  in  the  forenoon 
from  Luke,  15 :  3-7.  A  number  of  white  people  being 
present,  I  made  an  address  to  them  at  the  close  of  my 
discourse  to  the  Indians ;  but  could  not  so  much  as 
keep  them  orderly ;  for  scores  of  them  kept  walking 
and  gazing  about,  and  behaved  more  indecently  than 
any  Indians  I  have  ever  addressed.  A  view  of  their 
abusive  conduct  so  sunk  my  spirits,  that  I  could 
scarcely  go  on  with  my  work. 

"  In  the  afternoon  I  discoursed  from  Rev.  3  :  20;  at 
which  time  fifteen  Indians  made  a  public  profession 
of  their  faith.  After  the  crowd  of  spectators  was  gone 
I  called  them  together,  and  discoursed  to  them  in  par- 
ticular; at  the  same  time  inviting  others  to  attend.  I 
reminded  them  of  the  solemn  obligations  they  were 
now  under  to  live  to  God;  warned  them  of  the  evil 
and  dreadful  consequences  of  careless  living,  espe- 
cially after  their  public  profession  of  Christianity; 
gave  them  directions  for  future  conduct ;  and  encou- 
raged them  to  watchfulness  and  devotion,  by  setting 

Brainerrl.  11 


162  LIFE    OF    BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  VII. 

before  them  the  comfort  and  happy  conclusion  of  a 
religious  life. 

"This  was  a  desirable  and  sweet  season  indeed! 
Their  hearts  were  engaged  and  cheerful  in  duty ;  and 
they  rejoiced  that  they  had,  in  a  public  and  solemn 
manner,  dedicated  themselves  to  God.  Love  seemed 
to  reign  among  them !  They  took  each  other  by  the  hand 
with  tenderness  and  affection,  as  if  their  hearts  were 
knit  together,  while  I  was  discoursing  lo  them ;  and 
all  their  deportment  toward  each  other  was  such,  that 
a  serious  spectator  might  justly  be  excited  to  cry  out 
with  admiration,  '  Behold  how  they  love  one  another.' 
Numbers  of  the  other  Indians,  on  seeing  and  hearing 
these  things,  were  much  affected,  and  wept  bitterly ; 
longing  to  be  partakers  of  the  same  joy  and  comfort 
which  these  discovered  by  their  very  countenances  as 
well  as  conduct. 

Aug.  26. — "  Preached  to  my  people  from  John,  6  • 
51-55.  After  I  had  discoursed  some  time,  I  addressed 
them  in  particular  who  entertained  hopes  that  they 
were  passed  from  death  unto  life.  Opened  to  them  the 
persevering  nature  of  those  consolations  which  Christ 
gives  his  people,  and  which  I  trusted  he  had  bestowed 
upon  some  in  that  assembly  ;  showed  them  that  such 
have  already  the  beginnings  of  eternal  life,  and  that 
their  heaven  shall  speedily  be  completed. 

"  I  no  sooner  began  to  discourse  in  this  strain  than 
the  dear  Christians  in  the  congregation  began  to  be 
melted  with  affection  to,  and  desire  of  the  enjoyment 
of  Christ,  and  of  a  state  of  perfect  purity.  They  wept 
affectionately,  yet  joyfully ;  and  their  tears  and  sobs 
discovered  brokenness  of  heart,  and  yet  were  attended 
with  real  comfort  and  sweetness  It  was  a  tender,  af- 
fectionate, humble  and  delightful  meeting,  and  ap- 


1745.]  OUTPOURING    OF   THE    SPVRIT.  163 

peared  to  be  the  genuine  effect  of  a  spirit  of  adoption, 
and  very  far  from  that  spirit  of  bondage  under  which 
they  not  long  since  labored.  The  influence  seemed 
to  spread  from  these  through  the  whole  assembly; 
and  there  quickly  appeared  a  wonderful  concern 
among  them.  Many,  who  had  not  yet  found  Christ  as  an 
all-sufficient  Savior,  were  surprisingly  engaged  in  seek- 
ing after  him.  It  was  indeed  a  lovely  and  very  inte-  • 
resting  assembly.  Their  number  was  now  about 
rrinetyjhti  persons,  old  and  young,  and  almost  all  af- 
fected with  joy  in  Christ  Jesus,  or  with  the  utmost 
concern  to  obtain  an  interest  in  him. 

"Being  now  convinced  that  it  was  my  duty  to  take 
a  journey  far  back  to  the  Indians  on  the  Susquehanna, 
it  being  now  a  proper  season  of  the  year  to  find  them 
generally  at  home;  after  having  spent  some  hours  in 
public  and  private  discourse  with  my  people,  I  told 
them  that  I  must  now  leave  them  for  the  present,  and 
go  to  their  brethren  far  remote,  and  preach  to  them ; 
that  I  wanted  the  Spirit  of  God  should  go  with  me, 
without  whom  nothing  could  be  done  to  any  good  pur- 
pose among  the  Indians — as  they  themselves  had  op- 
portunity to  see  and  observe  by  the  barrenness  of  our 
meetings  at  some  times,  when  there  was  much  pains 
taken  to  affect  and  awaken  sinners,  and  yet  to  little  or 
no  purposejand  asked  them  if  they  could  not  be  wil- 
ling to  spend  the  remainder  of  the  day  in  prayer  for 
me,  that  God  would  go  with  me,  and  succeed  my  en- 
deavors for  the  conversion  of  these  poor  souls.  They 
cheerfully  complied  with  the  motion,  and  soon  after  I 
left  them,  the  sun  being  about  an  hour  and  a  half  high, 
they  began  and  continued  praying  till  break  of  day,  or 
very  near ;  never  mistrusting,  as  they  tell  me,  till  they 
went  out  and  viewed  the  stars,  and  saw  the  morning 


164  L1KK    OF    BHALNERU.  [(/hap.   VI L 

star  a  considerable  height,  that  it  was  later  than  bed 
time.  Thus  eager  and  unwearied  were  they  in  theii 
devotions !  A  remarkable  night  it  was ;  attended,  as  my 
Interpreter  tells  me,  with  a  powerful  influence  upon 
those  who  were  yet  under  concern,  as  well  as  those 
who  had  received  comfort.  There  were,  I  trust,  thi& 
day,  two  distressed  souls  brought  to  the  enjoyment  ol 
.solid  comfort  in  Him  in  whom  the  weary  find  rest.  It 
was  likewise  remarkable,  that  this  day  an  old  Indian, 
who  had  all  his  days  been  an  idolater,  was  brought  to 
give  up  his  rattles,  which  they  use  for  music  in  their 
idolatrous  feasts  and  dances,  to  the  other  Indians,  who 
quickly  destroyed  them.  This  was  done  without  any 
interference  of  mine,  I  having  not  spoken  to  him  about 
it,  so  that  it  seemed  to  be  nothing  but  the  power  of 
God's  word,  without  any  particular  application  to  thi? 
sin,  that  produced  this  effect.  Thus  God  has  begun  ; 
thus  he  has  hitherto  surprisingly  carried  on  a  work  of 
grace  among  these  Indians.  May  the  glory  be  ascribed 
to  Him  who  is  the  sole  author  of  it." 

Forks  of  Delaware,  in  Pennsylvania,  Sept.  1745. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  1 — "  Preached  to  the  Indians  from 
Luke,  11 : 16-23.  The  word  appeared  to  be  attended 
with  some  power,  and  caused  some  tears  in  the  assem- 
bly. Afterward  preached  to  a  number  of  white  peo- 
ple present,  and  observed  many  of  them  in  tears;  ard 
some  who  had  formerly  been  as  careless  and  uncon- 
cerned about  religion,  perhaps,  as  the  Indians.  To- 
ward night  discoursed  to  the  Indians  again,  and  per~ 
ceived  a  greater  attention,  and  more  visible  concern 
among  them  than  has  been  usual  in  these  parts. 

Sept.  3. — "Preached  to  the  Indians  from  Isaiah,  52: 
3-6.  The  Divine  presence  seemed  to  be  in  the  midst 


1745.]  AT    FORKS    OF    DELAWARE.  165 

of  the  assembly,  and  a  considerable  concern  spread 
among  them.  Sundry  persons  seemed  to  be  awakened ; 
among  whom  were  two  stupid  creatures,  whom  I  could 
scarce  ever  before  keep  awake  while  I  was  discoursing 
to  them.  I  could  not  but  rejoice  at  this  appearance  of 
things ;  although  at  the  same  time  I  could  not  but  fear, 
lest  the  concern  which  they  at  present  manifested 
might  prove  like  a  morninf  cloud,  as  something  of  that 
nature  had  formerly  done  in  these  parts. 

Sept.  5. — "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  from  the  para- 
ble of  the  sower.  Afterward  I  conversed  particularly 
with  a  number  of  persons  ;  which  occasioned  them  to 
weep,  and  even  to  cry  out  in  an  affecting  manner,  and 
seized  others  with  surprise  and  concern.  1  doubt  not 
but  that  a  divine  power  accompanied  what  was  then 
spoken.  Several  of  these  persons  had  been  with  me 
to  Crossweeksung,  and  there  had  seen,  and  some  of 
them,  I  trust  felt,  the  power  of  God's  word  in  an  affect- 
ing and  saving  manner.  1  asked  one  of  them,  who 
had  obtained  comfort,  and  given  hopeful  evidence  of 
being  truly  religious,  '  Why  he  now  cried  ?'  He  re- 
plied, '  When  he  thought  how  Christ  was  slain  like  a 
lamb,  and  spilt  his  blood  for  sinners,  he  could  not  help 
crying  when  he  was  alone ;'  and  thereupon  burst  into 
tears  and  cried  again.  I  then  asked  his  wife,  who  had 
likewise  been  abundantly  comforted,  why  she  cried? 
She  answered,  '  that  she  was  grieved  that  the  Indians 
here  would  not  come  to  Christ,  as  well  as  those  at 
Crossweeksung.'  I  asked  her  if  she  found  a  heart  to 
pray  for  them,  and  whether  Christ  had  seemed  to  be 
near  her  of  late  in  prayer,  as  in  times  past,  which  is 
my  usual  method  of  expressing  a  sense  of  the  divine 
presence.  She  replied,  '  Yes,  he  had  been  near  to  her, 
ind  at  times  when  she  had  been  praying  alone,  her 


J66  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.    VII. 

heart  loved  to  pray  so  that  she  could  not  bear  to  leave 
the  place,  but  wanted  to  stay  and  pray  longer.' 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  8. — "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  in 
the  afternoon  from  Acts,  2  :  36-39.  The  word  of  God 
at  this  time  seemed  to  fall  with  weight  and  influence 
upon  them.  There  were  but  few  present ;  but  most 
that  were,  were  in  tears,  and  several  cried  out  in  dis- 
tressing concern  for  their  souls.  There  was  one  man 
considerably  awakened,  who  never  before  discovered 
any  concern  for  his  soul.  There  appeared  a  remarka- 
ble work  of  the  Divine  Spirit  among  them  generally, 
not  unlike  what  has  been  of  late  at  Crossweeksung. 
It  seemed  as  if  the  divine  influence  had  spread  thence 
to  this  place,  although  something  of  it  appeared  here 
before  in  the  awakening  of  my  interpreter,  his  wife, 
and  some  few  others.  Several  of  the  careless  white 
people  now  present  were  awakened,  or  at  least  startled, 
seeing  the  power  of  God  so  prevalent  among  the  In- 
dians. I  then  made  a  particular  address  to  them,  which 
seemed  to  make  some  impression  upon  them,  and  ex- 
cite some  affection  in  them. 

"  There  are  some  Indians  in  these  parts  who  have 
always  refused  to  hear  me  preach,  and  have  been  en- 
raged against  those  who  have  attended  on  my  preach- 
ing. But  of  late  thejr  are  more  bitter  than  ever; 
scoffing  at  Christianity,  and  sometimes  asking  my 
hearers  '  How  often  they  have  cried,'  and  '  whether 
they  have  not  now  cried  enough  to  do  their  turn,'  &c. 
So  that  they  have  already  trial  of  cruel  mockings. 

Sept.  9. — "  Left  the  Indians  at  the  Forks  ol  Dela- 
ware, and  set  out  on  a  journey  toward  Susquehanna 
river,  directing  my  course  toward  the  Indian  town 
more  than  an  hundred  and  twenty  miles  westward 
from  the  Forks.  Traveled  about  fifteen  miles,  and 
there  lodged. 


1745.]  ON    THE    SUSQUEHANNA.  167 

Shaumoltingi  Sept.  1745. 

Sept.  13. —  After  having  lodged  out  three  nights, 
arrived  at  the  Indian  town  I  aimed  at,  on  the  Susque- 
hanna,  called  Shaumoking-;  one  of  the  places,  and  the 
largest  of  them,  which  I  visited  in  May  last.  I  was 
kindly  received,  and  entertained  by  the  Indians  ;  but 
had  little  satisfaction  by  reason  of  the  heathenish 
dance  and  revel  they  then  held  in  the  house  where  I 
was  obliged  to  lodge ;  which  I  could  not  suppress, 
though  I  often  entreated  them  to  desist,  for  the  sake 
of  one  of  their  own  friends,  who  was  then  sick  in  the 
house,  and  whose  disorder  was  much  aggravated  by 
the  noise.  Alas !  how  destitute  of  natural  affection 
are  these  poor  uncultivated  pagans !  although  they 
seem  somewhat  kind  in  their  own  way.  Of  a  truth 
the  dark  corners  of  the  earth  are  full  of  the  habitations 
of  cruelty.  This  town,  as  I  observed  in  my  Diary  of 
May  last,  lies  partly  on  the  east  side  of  the  river,  partly 
on  the  west,  and  partly  on  a  large  island  in  it,  and 
contains  upward  of  fifty  houses,  and  nearly  three 
hundred  persons,  though  I  never  saw  much  more  than 
half  that  number  in  it.  They  are  of  three  different 
tribes  of  Indians,  speaking  three  languages  wholly  un- 
intelligible to  each  other.  About  one  half  of  its  in- 
habitants are  Ddawares,  the  others  called  Senekas 
and  Tutelas.  The  Indians  of  this  place  are  accounted 
the  most  drunken,  mischievous,  and  ruffianlike  fellows 
of  any  in  these  parts;  and  Satan  seems  to  have  his  seat 
in  this  town  in  an  eminent  manner. 

Sept.  14. — "  Visited  the  Delaware  King,  who  was 
supposed  to  be  at  the  point  of  death  when  I  was  here 
in  May  last,  but  was  now  recovered  ;  discoursed  with 
him  and  others  respecting  Christianity ;  spent  the  after- 
noon with  them,  and  had  more  encouragement  than  J 


168  LIFE    OF    BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  Vll. 

expected.  The  king  appeared  kindly  disposed,  and 
willing  to  be  instructed.  This  gave  me  some  encou- 
ragement that  God  would  open  an  effectual  door  for 
my  preaching  the  Gospel  here,  and  set  up  his  kingdom 
in  this  place.  This  was  a  support  and  refreshment  to 
me  in  the  wilderness,  and  rendered  my  solitary  cirr 
cumstances  comfortable  and  pleasant. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  15. — "  Visited  the  chief  of  the 
Delawares  again;  was  kindly  received  by  him,  and 
discoursed  to  the  Indians  in  the  afternoon.  Still  en- 
tertained hopes  that  God  would  open  their  hearts  to 
receive  the  Gospel,  though  many  of  them  in  the  place 
were  so  drunk  from  day  to  day  that  I  could  get  no 
opportunity  to  speak  to  them.  Toward  night  dis- 
coursed with  one  who  understood  the  languages  of  the 
Six  Nations,  as  they  are  usually  called,  who  discovered 
an  inclination  to  hearken  to  Christianity,  which  gave 
me  some  hope  that  the  Gospel  might  hereafter  be  sent 
to  those  nations  far  remote. 

Sept.  16. — "  Spent  the  forenoon  with  the  Indians, 
endeavoring  to  instruct  them  from  house  to  house,  and 
to  engage  them,  as  far  as  I  could,  to  be  friendly  to 
Christianity.  Toward  night  went  to  one  part  of  the 
town  where  they  were  sober,  got  together  near  fifty 
of  them,  and  discoursed  to  them,  having  first  obtained 
the  king's  cheerful  consent.  There  was  a  surprising 
attention  among  them,  and  they  manifested  a  considera- 
ble desire  of  being  further  instructed.  There  were  also 
one  or  two  that  seemed  to  be  touched  with  some  con- 
cern for  their  souls,  who  appeared  well  pleased  with 
some  conversation  in  private  after  I  had  concluded  my 
public  discourse  to  them. 

"  My  spirits  were  much  refreshed  with  this  appear- 
ance of  things,  and  I  could  not  but  return  with  my 


1745.J         ON  THE  SUSftUEHANNA.  10U 

interpreter,  having  no  other  companion  in  this  jour- 
ney to  my  poor  hard  lodgings,  rejoicing  in  hopes  that 
God  designed  to  set  up  his  kingdom  here,  where  satan 
now  reigns  in  the  most  eminent  manner;  and  found 
uncommon  freedom  in  addressing  the  throne  of  grace 
for  the  accomplishment  of  so  great  and  glorious  a  work. 
Sept.  17. — "  Spent  the  forenoon  in  visiting  and  dis- 
coursing to  the  Indians.  About  noon  left  Shaumoking 
(most  of  the  Indians  going  out  this  day  on  their  hunting 
design)  and  traveled  down  the  river  south-westward. 

Juncauta,  Sept.  1745. 

Sept.  19. — "  Visited  an  Indian  town,  called  Juncaiita, 
situate  on  an  island  in  the  Susquehanna.  Was  much 
discouraged  with  the  temper  and  behavior  of  the  In- 
dians here  ;  although  they  appeared  friendly  when  I 
was  with  them  the  last  spring,  and  then  gave  me  en- 
couragement to  come  and  see  them  again.  But  they 
now  seemed  resolved  to  retain  their  pagan  notions,  and 
persist  in  their  idolatrous  practices. 

September  20.-^"  Visited  the  Indians  again  at  Jun- 
cauta  island,  and  found  them  almost  universally  very 
busy  in  making  preparations  for  a  great  sacrifice  and 
dance.  Had  no  opportunity  to  get  them  together,  in 
order  to  discourse  with  them  about  Christianity,  by 
reason  of  their  being  so  much  engaged  about  their  sa- 
crifice. My  spirits  were  much  sunk  with  a  prospect 
so  very  discouraging;  and  especially  seeing  I  had  this 
day  no  interpreter  but  a  pagan,  who  was  as  much  at- 
tached to  idolatry  as  any  of  them,  and  who  could 
neither  speak  nor  understand  the  language  of  these 
Indians ;  so  that  I  was  under  the  greatest  disadvantages 
imaginable.  However,  I  attempted  to  discourse  pri- 
vately with  some  of  them,  but  without  any  appearance 


170  LIFE    OP    BRAINERD.  [Chap.   Vll. 

of  success :  notwithstanding  I  still  tarried  with  them. 

"  In  the  evening  they  met  together,  nearly  a  hun- 
dred of  them,  and  danced  around  a  large  fire,  having 
prepared  ten  fat  deer  for  the  sacrifice.  The  fat  of  the 
inwards  they  burnt  in  the  fire  while  they  were  dancing, 
which  sometimes  raised  the  flame  to  a  prodigious 
height ;  at  the  same  time  yelling  and  shouting  in  such 
a  manner  that  they  might  easily  have  been  heard  two 
miles  or  more.  They  continued  their  sacred  dance 
nearly  all  night,  after  which  they  ate  the  flesh  of  the 
sacrifice,  and  so  retired  each  one  to  his  own  lodging. 

"  I  enjoyed  little  satisfaction  ;  being  entirely  alone 
on  the  island,  as  to  any  Christian  company,  and  in  the 
midst  of  this  idolatrous  revel ;  and  having  walked  to 
and  fro  till  body  and  mind  were  pained  and  much  op- 
pressed, I  at  length  crept  into  a  little  crib  made  for 
corn,  and  there  slept  on  the  poles. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  21. — "  Spent  the  day  with  the  In- 
dians on  the  island.  As  soon  as  they  were  well  up  in 
the  morning  I  attempted  to  instruct  them,  and  labored 
for  that  purpose  to  get  them  together ;  but  soon  found 
they  had  something  else  to  do,  for  near  noon  they 
gathered  together  all  their  powaws,  or  conjurers,  and 
set  about  half  a  dozen  of  them  playing  their  juggling 
tricks,  and  acting  their  frantic  distracted  postures,  in 
order  to  find  out  why  they  were  then  so  sickly  upon 
the  island,  numbers  of  them  being  at  that  time  disor- 
dered with  a  fever  and  bloody  flux.  In  this  exercise 
they  were  engaged  for  several  hours,  making  all  the 
wild,  ridiculous  and  distracted  motions  imaginable; 
sometimes  singing,  sometimes  howling,  sometimes  ex- 
tending their  hands  to  the  utmost  stretch,  and  spread- 
ing all  their  fingers ;  they  seemed  to  push  with  them 
as  if  they  designed  to  push  something  away,  or  at  least 


1745.]  POWAWS.  171 

keep  it  off  at  arm's-end ;  sometimes  stroking  their  faces 
with  their  hands,  then  spurting  water  as  fine  as  mist ; 
sometimes  sitting  flat  on  the  earth,  then  bowing  down 
their  faces  to  the  ground ;  then  wringing  their  sides  as 
if  in  pain  and  .anguish,  twisting  their  faces,  turning  up 
their  eyes,  grunting,  puffing,  &c. 

"  Their  monstrous  actions  tended  to  excite  ideas  of 
horror,  and  seemed  to  have  something  in  them,  as  I 
thought,  peculiarly  suited  to  raise  the  devil,  if  he  could 
be  raised  by  any  thing  odd,  ridiculous,  and  frightful. 
Some  of  them,  I  could  observe,  were  much  more  fer- 
vent and  devout  in  the  business  than  others,  and  seemed 
to  chant,  peep,  and  mutter  with  a  great  degree  of 
warmth  and  vigor,  as  if  determined  to  awaken  and  en- 
gage the  powers  below.  I  sat  at  a  small  distance,  not 
more  than  thirty  feet  from  them,  though  undiscovered, 
with  my  Bible  in  my  hand,  resolving,  if  possible,  to 
spoil  their  sport,  and  prevent  their  receiving  any  an- 
swers from  the  infernal  world,  and  there  viewed  the 
whole  scene.  They  continued  their  hideous  charms 
and  incantations  for  more  than  three  hours,  until  they 
had  all  wearied  themselves  out;  although  they  had  in 
that  space  of  time  taken  several  intervals  of  rest ;  and 
at  length  broke  up,  I  apprehended,  without  receiving 
any  answer  at  all. 

"  After  they  had  done  powawing,  I  attempted  to  dis- 
course with  them  about  Christianity ;  but  they  soon 
scattered,  and  gave  me  no  opportunity  for  any  thing 
of  that  nature.  A  view  of  these  things,  while  I  was  en- 
tirely alone  in  the  wilderness,  destitute  of  the  society 
of  any  one  who  so  much  as  '  named  the  name  of  Christ,' 
greatly  sunk  my  spirits,  and  gave  me  the  most  gloomy 
turn  of  mind  imaginable,  almost  stripped  me  of  all  re- 
solution and  hope  respecting  further  attempts  for  pro- 


• 

172  UFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  Vll. 

pagating  the  Gospel  and  converting  the  pagans,  and 
rendered  this  the  most  burdensome  and  disagreeable 
Sabbath  which  I  ever  saw.  But  nothing,  I  can  truly 
say,  sunk  and  distressed  me  like  the  loss  of  my  hope 
respecting  their  conversion.  This  concern  appeared 
so  great,  and  seemed  to  be  so  much  my  own,  that  I 
seemed  to  have  nothing  to  do  on  earth  if  this  failed. 
A  prospect  of  the  greatest  success  in  the  saving  con- 
version of  souls  under  Gospel  light,  would  have  done 
little  or  nothing  toward  compensating  for  the  loss  of 
my  hope  in  this  respect ;  and  my  spirits  now  were  so 
damped  and  depressed,  that  I  had  no  heart  nor  power 
to  make  any  further  attempts  among  them  for  that 
purpose,  and  could  not  possibly  recover  my  hope,  re- 
solution, and  courage,  by  the  utmost  of  my  endeavors. 
"  The  Indians  of  this  island  can,  many  of  them,  un- 
derstand the  English  language  considerably  well ;  hav- 
ing formerly  lived  in  some  part  of  Maryland,  among 
or  near  the  white  people ;  but  are  very  drunken,  vicious, 
and  profane,  although  not  so  savage  as  those  who  have 
less  acquaintance  with  the  English.  Their  customs, 
in  various  respects,  differ  from  those  of  the  other  In- 
dians upon  this  river.  They  do  not  bury  their  dead 
in  a  common  form,  but  let  their  flesh  consume  above 
the  ground,  in  close  cribs  made  for  that  purpose.  At 
the  end  of  a  year,  or  sometimes  a  longer  space  of  time, 
they  take  the  bones,  when  the  flesh  is  all  consumed, 
and  wash  and  scrape  them  and  afterward  bury  them 
with  some  ceremony.  Their  method  of  "charming  or 
conjuring  over  the  sick,  seems  somewhat  different  from 
that  of  the  other  Indians,  though  in  substance  the  same. 
The  whole  of  it  among  these  and  others,  perhaps,  is 
an  imitation  of  what  seems,  by  Naaman's  expression, 
a  Kings,  5  :  11,  to  have  been  the  custom  of  the  ancient 


1745.]  A   CONJURER.  173 

heathen.  It  seems  chiefly  to  consist  in  their  '  striking 
their  hands  over  the  diseased,'  repeatedly  stroking 
them,  '  and  calling  upon  their  god  ;'  except  the  spurt- 
ing of  water  like  a  rnist,  and  some  other  frantic  cere- 
monies common  to  the  other  conjurations  which  1  have 
already  mentioned. 

i;  When  I  was  in  this  region  in  May  last  I  had  an 
opportunity  of  learning  many  of  the  notions  and  cus- 
toms of  the  Indians,  as  well  as  observing  many  of  their 
practices.  I  then  traveled  more  than  an  hundred  and 
thirty  miles  upon  the  river,  above  the  English  settle- 
ments ;  and  in  that  journey  met  with  individuals  of 
seven  or  eight  distinct  tribes,  speaking  as  many  differ- 
ent languages.  But  of  all  the  sights  I  ever  saw  among 
them,  or  indeed  any  where  else,  none  appeared  so 
frightful,  or  so  near  a  kin  to  what  is  usually  imagined 
of  infernal  powers,  none  ever  excited  such  images  of 
terror  in  my  mind,  as  the  appearance  of  one  who  was 
a  devout  and  zealous  reformer,  or  rather  restorer  of 
what  he  supposed  was  the  ancient  religion  of  the  In- 
dians. He  made  his  appearance  in  his  'pontifical  garb, 
which  was  a  coat  of  bear  skins,  dressed  with  the  hair 
on,  and  hanging  down  to  his  toes ;  a  pair  of  bear  skin 
stockings;  and  a  great  wooden  face  painted,  the  one 
half  black,  the  other  half  tawny,  about  the  color  of  an 
Indian's  skin,  with  an  extravagant  mouth,  cut  very 
much  awry ;  the  face  fastened  to  a  bear  skin  cap,  which 
was  drawn  over  his  head.  He  advanced  toward  me 
with  the  instrument  in  his  hand  which  he  used  for 
music  in  his  idolatrous  worship  ;  which  was  a  dry  tor- 
toise shell  with  some  corn  in  it,  and  the  neck  of  it 
drawn  on  to  a  piece  of  wood,  which  made  a  very  con- 
venient handle.  As  he  came  forward  he  beat  his  tune 
with  the  rattle,  and  danced  with  all  his  might,  but  did 


174  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   VII- 

not  suffer  any  part  of  his  body,  not  so  much  as  his 
fingers,  to  be  seen.  No  one  would  have  imagined, 
from  his  appearance  or  actions,  that  he  could  have 
been  a  human  creature,  if  they  had  not  had  some  in- 
timation of  it  otherwise.  When  he  came  near  me  I 
could  not  but  shrink  away  from  him,  although  it  was 
then  noon  day,  and  I  knew  who  it  was ;  his  appearance 
and  gestures  were  so  prodigiously  frightful.  He  had 
a  house  consecrated  to  religious  uses,  with  divers 
images  cut  upon  the  several  parts  of  it.  I  went  in,  and 
found  the  ground  beat  almost  as  hard  as  a  rock,  with 
their  frequent  dancing  upon  it.  I  discoursed  with  him 
about  Christianity.  Some  of  my  discourse  he  seemed 
to  like,  but  some  of  it  he  disliked  extremely.  He  told 
me  that  God  had  taught  him  his  religion,  and  that  he 
never  would  turn  from  it ;  but  wanted  to  find  some 
who  would  join  heartily  with  him  in  it ;  for  the  Indians, 
he  said,  were  grown  very  degenerate  and  corrupt.  He 
had  thoughts,  he  said,  of  leaving  all  his  friends,  and 
traveling  abroad,  in  order  to  find  some  who  would 
join  with  him ;  for  he  believed  that  God  had  some 
good  people  some  where,  who  felt  as  he  did.  He  had 
not  always,  he  said,  felt  as  he  now  did ;  but  had  former- 
ly been  like  the  rest  of  the  Indians,  until  about  four  or 
five  years  before  that  time.  Then,  he  said,  his  heart 
was  very  much  distressed,  so  that  he  could  not  live 
among  the  Indians,  but  got  away  into  the  woods,  and 
lived  alone  for  some  months.  At  length,  he  said,  God 
comforted  his  heart,  and  showed  him  what  he  should 
do ;  and  since  that  time  he  had  known  God,  and  tried 
to  serve  him ;  and  loved  all  men,  be  they  who  they 
would,  so  as  he  never  did  before.  He  treated  me  with 
uncommon  courtesy,  and  seemed  to  be  hearty  in  it.  I 
was  told  by  the  Indians,  that  he  opposed  their  drink- 


1745.J  A    CONJURER.  176 

ing  strong  liquor  with  all  his  power ;  and  that,  if  at  any 
time  he  could  not  dissuade  them  from  it  by  all  he  could 
say,  he  would  leave  them,  and  go  crying  into  the  woods. 
It  was  manifest  that  he  had  a  set  of  religious  notions 
which  he  had  examined  for  himself,  and  not  taken  for 
granted  upon  bare  tradition ;  and  he  relished  or  disre- 
lished whatever  was  spoken  of  a  religious  nature,  as  .t 
either  agreed  or  disagreed  with  his  standard.  While 
I  was  discoursing,  he  would  sometimes  say,  '  Now  that 
I  like;  so  God  has  taught  me;'  &c.  and  some  of  his 
sentiments  seemed  very  just.  Yet  he  utterly  denied 
the  existence  of  a  devil,  and  declared  there  was  no 
such  creature  known  among  the  Indians  of  old  times, 
whose  religion  he  supposed  he  was  attempting  to  re- 
vive. He  likewise  told  me,  that  departed  souls  went 
southward,  and  that  the  difference  between  the  good 
and  the  bad  was  this  :  that  the  former  were  admitted 
into  a  beautiful  town  with  spiritual  walls ;  and  that  the 
latter  would  for  ever  hover  around  these  walls,  in  vain 
attempts  to  get  in.  He  seemed  to  be  sincere,  honest, 
and  conscientious  in  his  own  way,  and  according  to  his 
own  religious  notions ;  which  was  more  than  I  ever 
saw  in  any  other  Pagan.  I  perceived  that  he  was 
looked  upon  and  derided  among  most  of  the  Indians, 
as  a  precise  zealot,  who  made  a  needless  noise  about 
religious  matters  ;  but  I  must  say  that  there  was  some- 
thing in  his  temper  and  disposition  which  looked  more 
like  true  religion  than  any  thing  I  ever  observed 
among  other  heathens. 

"  But  alas  !  how  deplorable  is  the  state  of  the  Indians 
upon  this  river !  The  brief  representation  which  1 
have  here  given  of  their  notions  and  manners,  is  suffi- 
cient to  show  that  they  are  { led  captive  by  Satan  at  his 
will,'  in  the  most  eminent  manner;  and  methinks 


176  LIFE    OP   BRAINEHD.  [Chap.  VH 

might  likewise  be  sufficient  to  excite  the  compassion, 
and  engage  the  prayers,  of  God's  children  for  these 
their  fellow-men,  who  sit '  in  the  regions  of  the  shadow 
of  death.' 

Sept.  22. — "Made  some  further  attempts  to  instruct 
and  Christianize  the  Indians  on  this  Island,  but  all  to 
no  purpose.  They  live  so  near  the  white  people  that 
they  are  always  in  the  way  of  strong  liquor,  as  well  as 
of  the  ill  examples  of  nominal  Christians;  which 
renders  it  so  unspeakably  difficult  to  treat  with  them 
about  Christianity." 

Forks  of  Delaware,  Oct.  1745. 

Oct.  1. — "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  here,  and  spen> 
some  time  in  private  conference  with  them  about  their 
souls'  concerns,  and  afterward  invited  them  to  accom 
pany,  or  if  not,  to  follow  me  to  Crossweeksung  as 
soon  as  they  could  conveniently;  which  invitation 
numbers  of  them  cheerfully  accepted." 

Crossweeksuitff,  Oct.  1745. 

Oct.  5. — "Preached  to  my  people  from  John,  14: 
1-6.  The  divine  presence  seemed  to  be  in  the  assem- 
bly. Numbers  were  affected  with  divine  truth,  and  il 
was  a  comfort  to  some  in  particular.  O  what  a  dif- 
ference is  there  between  these,  and  the  Indians  with 
whom  I  had  lately  treated  upon  the  Susquehanna ! 
To  be  with  those  seemed  to  be  like  being  banished 
from  God  and  all  his  people ;  to  be  with  these,  like  be- 
ing admitted  into  his  family,  and  to  the  enjoyment 
of  his  divine  presence!  How  great  is  the  change 
lately  made  upon  numbers  of  those  Indians ;  who,  not 
many  months  ago,  were  as  thoughtless  and  averse  to 
Christianity  as  those  upon  the  Susquehanna ;  and  how 


, 

1745.  I  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNG.  177 

astonishing  is  that  grace  which  has  made  this  change! 

Lord's  day,  Oct.  6. — "  Preached  in  the  forenoon  from 
John,  10  :  7-11.  There  was  a  considerable  melting 
among  my  people ;  the  dear  young  Christians  were 
refreshed,  comforted  and  strengthened ;  and  one  or 
two  persons  newly  awakened.  In  the  afternoon  I  dis 
coursed  on  the  story  of  the  Jailor,  Acts,  16;  and  in  the 
evening  expounded  Acts,  20  :  1-12.  There  was  at  this 
time  a  very  agreeable  melting  spread  throughout  the 
whole  assembly.  I  think  I  scarce  ever  saw  a  more  de- 
sirable affection  among  any  people.  There  was  scarcely 
a  dry  eye  to  be  seen  among  them ;  and  yet  nothing 
boisterous  or  unseemly,  nothing  that  tended  to  disturb 
the  public  worship ;  but  rather  to  encourage  and  ex- 
cite a  Christian  ardor  and  spirit  of  devotion.  Those 
who  I  have  reason  to  hope  were  savingly  renewed 
were  first  affected,  and  seemed  to  rejoice  much,  but 
with  brokenness  of  spirit  and  godly  fear.  Their  ex- 
ercises were  much  the  same  with  those  mentioned  in 
my  journal  of  August  26,  evidently  appearing  to  be 
the  genuine  effects  of  a  spirit  of  adoption. 

"  After  public  service  was  over  I  withdrew,  being 
much  tired  with  the  labors  of  the  day ;  and  the  Indians 
continued  praying  among  themselves  for  near  two 
hours  together ;  which  continued  exercises  appeared 
to  be  attended  with  a  blessed  quickening  influence  from 
on  high.  I  could  not  but  earnestly  wish  that  numbers 
of  God's  people  had  been  present  at  this  season  to  see 
and  hear  these  things  which  I  am  sure  must  refresh 
the  heart  of  every  true  lover  of  Zion.  To  see  those 
who  were  very  lately  savage  Pagans  and  idolaters, 
having  no  hope,  and  without  God  in  the  world,  now 
filled  with  a  sense  of  divine  love  and  grace,  and  wor- 
shipping the  Father  in  spirit  and  in  truth,  as  numbers 

Brainerd.  12 


178  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VI I. 

here  appeared  (o  do,  was  not  a  little  affecting;  and 
especially  to  see  them  appear  so  tender  and  humble, 
as  well  as  lively,  fervent,  and  devout  in  the  divine 
service. 

Oct.  24.— "Discoursed  from  John,  4  :  13,  14.  There 
was  a  great  attention,  a  desirable  affection,  and  an  unaf- 
fected melting  in  the  assembly.  It  is  surprising  to 
see  how  eager  they  are  to  hear  the  word  of  God.  I 
often  times  thought  that  they  would  cheerfully  and 
diligently  attend  divine  worship  twenty-four  hours 
together,  if  they  had  an  opportunity  so  to  do. 

Oct.  25. — "Discoursed  to  my  people  respecting  the 
Resurrection,  from  Luke,  20  :  27-36.  When  I  came 
to  mention  the  blessedness  the  godly  shall  enjoy  at  that 
season ;  their  final  freedom  from  death,  sin  and  sor- 
row; their  equality  to  the  angels  in  their  nearness  to 
and  enjoyment  of  Christ,  some  imperfect  degree  oi 
which  they  are  favored  with  in  the  present  life,  from 
whence  springs  their  sweetest  comfort ;  and  their  being 
the  children  of  God,  openly  acknowledged  by  him  as 
such ;  many  of  them  were  much  affected  and  melted 
with  a  view  of  this  blessed  state. 

Oct.  26. — "Being  called  to  assist  in  the  administra- 
tion of  the  Lord's  supper  in  a  neighboring  congrega- 
tion, I  invited  my  people  to  go  with  me.  They  in  gene- 
ral embraced  the  opportunity  cheerfully ;  and  attended 
the  several  discourses  of  this  solemnity  with  diligence 
and  affection,  most  of  them  now  understanding  some- 
thing of  the  English  language. 

Lard's  day,  Oct.  27. — "  While  I  was  preaching  to  a 
vast  assembly  of  people  abroad,  who  appeared  generally 
easy  and  secure,  there  was  one  Indian  woman,  a  stran- 
ger, who  never  had  heard  me  preach  before,  nor  ever 
regarded  any  thing  about  religion,  who,  having  been 


1745. J  AT    CROSS WEKK.SU NO.  179 

now  persuaded  by  some  of  her  friends  to  come  to 
meeting,  though  much  against  her  will,  was  seized  with 
distressing  concern  for  her  soul ;  and  soon  after  express- 
ed a  great  desire  of  going  home,  more  than  forty  miles 
distant,  to  call  her  husband,  that  he  also  might  be 
awakened  to  a  concern  for  his  soul.  Some  others  of 
the  Indians  appeared  to  be  affected  with  divine  truth 
this  day.  The  pious  people  of  the  English,  numbers 
of  whjom  I  had  opportunity  to  converse  with,  seemed 
refreshed  with  seeing  the  Indians  worship  God  in  that 
devout  and  solemn  manner  with  the  assembly  of  his 
people;  and  with  those  mentioned  in  Acts,  11 : 18,  they 
could  not  but  glorify  God,  saying, '  Then  hath  God  also 
to  the  Gentiles  granted  repentance  unto  life.'  ,7  •>.*.' 

"Preached  again  in  the  afternoon,  to  a  great  assem- 
bly; at  which  time  some  of  my  people  appeared  affect- 
ed ;  and  when  public  worship  was  over,  were  inquisi- 
tive whether  there  would  not  be  another  sermon  in  the 
evening,  or  before  the  solemnity  of  the  Lord's  supper 
was  concluded ;  being  still  desirous  to  hear  God's  word. 

Oct.  28.—"  Discoursed  from  Matt.  22 : 1-13.  I  was 
enabled  to  open  the  scriptures,  and  adapt  my  discourse 
and  expression  to  the  capacities  of  my  people,  I  know 
not  how,  in  a  plain,  easy,  and  familiar  manner,  beyond 
all  that  I  could  have  done  by  the  utmost  study ;  and 
this  without  any  special  difficulty  ;  yea,  with  as  much 
freedom  as  if  I  had  been  addressing  a  common  audi- 
ence, who  had  been  instructed  in  the  doctrines  of  Chris- 
tianity all  their  days.  The  word  of  God  at  this  time 
seemed  to  fall  upon  the  assembly  with  a  divine  power 
and  influence,  especially  toward  the  close  of  my  dis- 
course ;  there  was  both  a  sweet  melting  and  bitter 
mourning  in  the  audience.  The  dear  Christians  were 
refreshed  and  comforted  convictions  revived  in  others, 


J80  LIKE    OF    BRA11VERD.  [Chap.   VII 

and  several  persons  newly  awakened  who  had  never 
been  with  us  before.  So  much  of  the  divine  presence 
appeared  in  the  assembly,  that  it  seemed  'this  was  no 
other  than  the  house  of  God  and  the  gate  of  heaven.' 
All,  who  had  any  savor  and  relish  of  divine  things, 
were  even  constrained  by  the  sweetness  of  that  season 
to  say,  '  Lord,  it  is  good  for  us  to  be  here.'  If  ever 
there  was  among  my  people  an  appearance  of  the  New 
Jerusalem  'as  a  bride  adorned  for  her  husband,'  there 
was  much  of  it  at  this  time ;  and  so  agreeable  was  the 
entertainment,  where  such  tokens  of  the  divine  pre- 
sence were,  that  I  could  scarcely  be  willing  in  the  eve- 
ning to  leave  the  place  and  repair  to  my  lodgings.  1 
was  refreshed  with  a  view  of  the  continuance  of  this 
blessed  work  of  grace  among  them,  and  with  its  influ- 
ence upon  strangers  among  the  Indians,  who  had  of 
late  from  time  to  time  providentially  come  into  this 
part  of  the  country. 

Lord's  day,  Nov.  3. — "Preached  to  my  people  from 
Luke  16 : 17.  '  And  it  is  easier  for  heaven  and  earth,' 
&c.  more  especially  for  the  sake  of  several  lately 
brought  under  deep  concern  for  their  souls.  There 
was  some  apparent  concern  and  affection  in  the  assem- 
bly ;  though  far  less  than  has  been  usual  of  late. 

"  On  this  day  six  of  the  Indians  made  a  profession 
of  their  faith.  One  of  these  was  a  woman  near/owr- 
score  years  of  age.  Two  of  the  others  were  menjifly 
years  old,  who  had  been  singular  and  remarkable 
among  the  Indians  for  their  wickedness ;  one  of  them 
had  been  a  murderer,  and  both  notorious  drunkards  as 
v/eU  as  excessively  quarrelsome ;  but  now  I  cannot  bul 
hope  that  both  of  them  have  become  subjects  of  God's 
special  grace.  I  kept  them  back  for  many,  weeks  after 
Ihey  had  given  evidence  of  having  passed  a  grear 


1745.]  AT   CROSSWEEKSONG.  181 

change,  that  I  might  have  more  opportunities  to  ob- 
serve the  fruits  of  the  impressions  which  they  had  been 
under,  and  apprehended  the  way  was  now  clear  to  ad- 
mit them  to  the  ordinances. 

Nov.  4. — Discoursed  from  John  11,  briefly  explain- 
ing most  of  the  chapter.  Divine  truth  made  deep  im- 
pressions upon  many  in  the  assembly.  Numbers  were 
affected  with  a  view  of  the  power  of  Christ  manifested 
in  his  raising  the  dead ;  and  especially  when  this  in- 
stance of  his  power  was  improved  to  show  his  ability 
to  raise  dead  souls,  such  as  many  of  them  felt  them- 
selves to  be,  to  a  spiritual  life;  as  also  to  raise  the  dead 
at  the  last  day,  and  dispense  to  them  rewards  and 
punishments. 

"  There  were  numbers  of  those  who  had  come  here 
lately  from  remote  places,  who  were  now  brought  un- 
der deep  and  pressing  concern  for  their  souls.  One  in 
particular,  who  not  long  since  came  half  drunk,  and 
railed  on  us,  and  attempted  by  all  means  to  disturb  us 
while  engaged  in  divine  worship,  was  now  so  con- 
cerned and  distressed  for  her  soul,  that  she  seemed  un- 
able to  get  any  ease  without  an  interest  in  Christ. 
There  were  many  tears  and  affectionate  sobs  and  groans 
in  the  assembly  in  general ;  some  weeping  for  them- 
selves; others  for  their  friends.  Although  persons  are 
doubtless  nnich  more  easily  affected  now  than  they 
were  in  the  beginning  of  this  religious  concern,  when 
tears  and  cries  for  their  souls  were  things  unheard  of 
among  them ;  yet  I  must  say  that  their  affection  in  gen- 
eral appeared  genuine  and  unfeigned;  and  especially 
this  appeared  very  conspicuous  in  those  newly  awaken- 
ed. So  that  true  and  genuine  convictions  of  sin  seem 
still  to  be  begun  and  promoted  in  many  instances. 
Twenty  three  of  the  Indians  in  all  have  now  pro- 


183  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  Vli. 

fessed  their  faith  in  Christ.  Most  of  them  belonged  to 
this  region,  a  few  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware. — Through 
rich  grace,  none  of  them  as  yet  have  been  left  to  dis- 
grace their  profession  by  any  scandalous  or  unbecom- 
ing behavior. 

"  I  might  now  properly  make  many  REMARKS  on  a 
work  of  grace  so  very  remarkable  as  this  has  been  in 
various  respects ;  but  shall  confine  myself  to  a  few  gen- 
eral hints  only. 

1.  "It  is  remarkable  that  God  began  this  work 
among  the  Indians  at  a  time  when  I  had  the  least  hope, 
and,  to  my  apprehension,  the  least  rational  prospect  of 
seeing  a  work  of  grace  propagated  among  them:  my 
bodily  strength  being  then  much  wasted  by  a  late  te- 
dious journey  to  the  Susquehanna,  where  I  was  neces- 
sarily exposed  to  hardships  and  fatigues  among  the  In- 
dians ;  my  mind  being  also  exceedingly  depressed  with 
a  view  of  the  unsuccessful  ness  of  my  labors.  I  had 
little  reason  so  much  as  to  hope  that  God  had  made 
me  instrumental  in  the  saving  conversion  of  any  of 
the  Indians,  except  my  Interpreter  and  his  wife. 
Hence  I  was  ready  to  look  upon  myself  as  a  burden  to 
the  Society  which  employed  and  supported  me  in  this 
business,  and  began  to  entertain  serious  thoughts  of 
giving  up  my  mission;  and  almost  resolved  I  would 
do  so  at  the  conclusion  of  the  present  year,  if  I  had 
then  no  better  prospect  of  success  in  my  work  than  I 
had  hitherto  had.  I  cannot  say  that  I  entertained  these 
thoughts  because  I  was  weary  of  the  labors  and  fa- 
tigues which  necessarily  attended  my  present  business, 
or  because  I  had  light  and  freedom  in  my  own  mind 
to  turn  any  other  way;  but  purely  through  dejection 
of  spirit,  pressing  discouragement,  and  an  apprehen- 


1745."]  CHARACTER   OF   THE    REVIVAL.  183 

sion  of  its  being  unjust  to  spend  money  consecrated  to 
religious  uses,  only  to  civilize  the  Indians,  and  bring 
them  to  an  external  profession  of  Christianity.  This 
was  all  which  I  could  then  see  any  prospect  of  effect- 
ing, while  God  seemed,  as  I  thought,  evidently  to 
frown  upon  the  design  of  their  saving  conversion,  by 
withholding  the  convincing  and  renewing  influences 
of  his  blessed  Spirit  from  attending  the  means  which 
I  had  hitherto  used  with  them  for  that  end. 

"In  this  frame  of  mind  I  first  visited  these  Indians 
at  Crossweeksung ;  apprehending  that  it  was  my  in 
dispensable  duty,  seeing  I  had  heard  there  was  a  num- 
ber in  these  parts,  to  make  some  attempts  for  their  con- 
version to  God,  though  I  cannot  say  I  had  any  hope  of 
success,  my  spirits  being  now  so  extremely  sunk.  I 
do  not  know  that  my  hopes  respecting  the  conversion 
of  the  Indians  were  ever  reduced  to  so  low  an  ebb, 
since  I  had  any  special  concern  for  them,  as  at  this 
time.  Yet  this  was  the  very  season  in  which  God  saw 
fit  to  begin  this  glorious  work!  Thus  he  'ordained 
strength  out  of  weakness,'  by  making  bare  his  almighty 
arm  at  a  time  when  all  hopes  and  human  probabilities 
most  evidently  appeared  to  fail. — Whence  I  learn,  that 
it  is  go^d  to  follow  the  path  of  duty,  though  in  the  midst 
of  darkriLSS  and  discouragement. 

2.  "  It  i&  remarkable  how  God  providentially,  and 
in  a  manner  almost  unaccountable,  called  these  Indians 
together  to  be  instructed  in  the  great  things  that  con- 
cerned tlvir  souls:  and  how  he  seized  their  minds 
with  the  imst  solemn  and  weighty  concern  for  their 
eternal  salvation,  as  fast  as  they  came  to  the  place 
where  his  word  was  preached.  When  I  first  came  into 
these  parts  in  June,  I  found  not  one  man  at  the  place 
I  visited,  put  only  four  women  and  a  few  children  j  but 


184  LIFE    OF    BRAIN ERD.  [Chap.  VII. 

before  I  had  been  here  many  days,  they  gathered  from 
all  quarters,  some  from  more  than  twenty  miles;  and 
when  I  made  them  a  second  visit  in  the  beginning  of 
August,  some  came  more  than  forty  miles  to  hear  me. 
Many  came  without  any  intelligence  of  what  was  go- 
ing on  here,  and  consequently  without  any  design  of 
theirs,  so  much  as  to  gratify  their  curiosity.  Thus  it 
seemed  as  if  God  had  summoned  them  together  from 
all  quarters  for  nothing  else  but  to  deliver  his  message 
to  them;  and  that  he  did  this,  with  regard  to  some  of 
them,  without  making  use  of  any  human  means,  aJ- 
though  there  was  pains  taken  by  some  of  them  to  give 
notice  to  others  at  remote  places. 

"Nor  is  it  less  surprising  that  they  were  one  after 
another  affected  with  a  solemn  concern  for  their  souls, 
almost  as  soon  as  they  came  upon  the  spot  where  di- 
vine truths  were  taught  them.  I  could  not  but  think 
often,  that  their  coming  to  the  place  of  our  public  wor- 
ship, was  like  Saul  and  his  messengers  coming  among 
the  prophets;  they  no  sooner  came  but  they  prophesied ; 
and  these  were  almost  as  soon  affected  with  a  sense  of 
their  sin  and  misery,  and  with  an  earnest  concern  for 
deliverance,  as  they  made  their  appearance  in  o  ar  as- 
sembly. After  this  work  of  grace  began  wit'i  power 
among  them,  it  was  common  for  strangerr  of  the  In- 
dians, before  they  had  been  with  us  one  day,  to  be  much 
awakened,  deeply  convinced  of  their  sin  and  misery, 
and  to  inquire  with  great  solicitude, '  What  th  ^y  should 
do  to  be  saved  ? ' 

3.  "It  is  likewise  remarkable  how  God  preserved 
these  poor  ignorant  Indians  from  being  prejudiced 
against  me,  and  the  truths  I  taught  them,  by  those 
means  that  were  used  with  them  for  that  purpose  by 
ungodly  people.  There  were  many  attempts  made  by 


1745.]  CHARACTER   OF   THE   REVIVAL.  185 

some  ill-minded  persons  of  the  white  people  to  preju- 
dice them  against,  or  frighten  them  from  Christianity. 
They  sometimes  told  them,  that  the  Indians  were  well 
enough  already ; — that  there  was  no  need  of  all  this 
noise  about  Christianity ; — that  if  they  were  Christians 
they  would  be  in  no  better,  no  safer,  or  happier  state, 
than  they  were  already  in.  Sometimes  they  told  them, 
that  I  was  a  knave,  a  deceiver,  and  the  like ;  that  I  daily 
taught  them  lies,  and  had  no  other  design  but  to  im- 
pose upon  them.  When  none  of  these,  and  such  like 
suggestions,  would  avail  to  their  purpose,  they  then 
tried  another  expedient,  and  told  the  Indians, '  My  de- 
sign was  to  gather  together  as  large  a  body  of  them  as 
I  possibly  could,  and  sell  them  to  England  for  slaves ;' 
than  which  nothing  could  be  more  likely  to  terrify  the 
Indians,  they  being  naturally  of  a  jealous  disposition, 
and  the  most  averse  to  a  state  of  servitude  perhaps  of 
any  people  living. 

"  But  all  these  wicked  insinuations,  through  divine 
goodness  over-ruling,  constantly  turned  against  the 
authors  of  them,  and  only  served  to  engage  the  affec- 
t' jns  of  the  Indians  more  firmly  to  me ;  for  they,  being 
awakened  to  a  solemn  concern  for  their  souls,  could 
not  but  observe,  that  the  persons  who  endeavored  to 
embitter  their  minds  against  me,  were  altogether  un- 
concerned about  their  own  souls,  and  not  only  so,  but 
vicious  and  profane ;  and  thence  could  not  but  argue, 
that  if  they  had  no  concern  for  their  own,  it  was  not 
like'y  they  should  have  for  the  souls  of  others. 

"  It  seems  yet  the  more  wonderful  that  the  Indians 
were  preserved  from  once  harkening  to  these  sugges- 
tions, inasmuch  as  I  was  an  utter  stranger  among 
them,  and  could  give  them  no  assurance  of  my  sincere 
affection  to,  and  concern  for  them,  by  any  thing  that 


186  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  Vll. 

was  past, — while  the  persons  who  insinuated  these 
things  were  their  old  acquaintance,  who  had  frequent 
opportunities  of  gratifying  their  thirsty  appetites  with 
strong  drink,  and  consequently,  doubtless  had  the 
greatest  interest  in  their  affections.  But  from  this  in- 
stance of  their  preservation  from  fatal  prejudices,  I 
have  had  occasion,  with  admiration,  to  say,  'If  God 
will  work,  who  can  hinder?' 

4.  "Nor  is  it  less  wonderful  how  God  was  pleased 
to  provide  a  remedy  for  my  want  of  skill  and  freedom 
in  the  Indian  language,  by  remarkably  fitting  my  Inter- 
preter for,  and  assisting  him  in  the  performance  of  his 
work.  It  might  reasonably  be  supposed  I  must  needs 
labor  under  a  vast  disadvantage  in  addressing  the  In- 
dians by  an  Interpreter;  and  that  divine  truths  would 
undoubtedly  lose  much  of  the  energy  and  pathos  with 
which  they  might  at  first  be  delivered,  by  reason  of 
their  coming  to  the  audience  from  a  second  hand.  But 
although  this  has  often,  to  my  sorrow  and  discourage- 
ment, been  the  case  in  times  past,  when  my  Interpre- 
ter had  little  or  no  sense  of  divine  things;  yet  new  it 
was  quite  otherwise.  I  cannot  think  my  addresses  'o 
the  Indians  ordinarily,  since  the  beginning  of  this  sea- 
son of  grace  have  lost  any  thing  of  the  power  or  pun- 
gency with  which  they  were  made,  unless  it  were  some- 
times for  want  of  pertinent  and  pathetic  terms  and  ex- 
pressions in  the  Indian  language;  which  iHfficulty 
could  not  have  been  much  redressed  by  my  pi  rsonal 
acquaintance  with  their  language.  My  Interpreter  had 
before  gained  some  good  degree  of  doctrinal  know- 
ledge, whereby  he  was  rendered  capable  of  understand- 
ing, and  communicating,  without  mistakes,  the  intent 
and  meaning  of  my  discourses,  and  that  without  being 
confined  strictly,  and  obliged  to  interpret  verbatim 


1745.J  CHARACTER   OP   THE    REVIVAL.  181 

He  had  likewise,  to  appearance,  an  experimental  ac- 
quaintance with  divine  things;  and  it  pleased  God  at 
this  season  to  inspire  his  mind  with  longing  desires  for 
the  conversion  of  the  Indians,  and  to  give  him  admi- 
rable zeal  and  fervency  in  addressing  them  in  order 
thereto.  It  is  remarkable,  that,  when  I  was  favored 
with  any  special  assistance  in  any  work,  and  enabled 
to  speak  with  more  than  common  freedom,  fervency, 
and  power,  under  a  lively  and  affecting  sense  of  divine 
things,  he  was  usually  affected  in  the  same  manner  al- 
most instantly,  and  seemed  at  once  quickened  and  en- 
abled to  speak  in  the  same  pathetic  language,  and  un- 
der the  same  influence  that  I  did.  A  surprising  ener- 
gy often  accompanied  the  word  at  such  seasons;  so 
that  the  face  of  the  whole  assembly  would  be  apparent- 
ly changed  almost  in  an  instant,  and  tears  and  sobs  be- 
come common  among  them. 

':  He  also  appeared  to  have  such  a  C!ear  doctrinal 
view  of  God's  usual  methods  of  dealing  with  souls  un- 
der a  preparatory  work  of  conviction  and  humiliation 
as  he  never  had  before ;  so  that  I  could,  with  A^  help, 
discourse  freely  with  the  distressed  persons  about  their 
internal  exercises,  their  fears,  discouragements,  temp- 
tations, &c.  He  likewise  took  pains,  day  and  night,  to 
repeat  and  inculcate  upon  the  minds  of  the  Indians  the 
truths  which  I  taught  them  daily ;  and  this  he  appeared 
to  do,  not  from  spiritual  pride,  and  an  affectation  of 
setting  himself  up  as  a  public  teacher,  but  from  a  spirit 
of  faithfulness,  and  an  honest  concern  for  their  souls. 
"  His  conversation  among  the  Indians  has  likewise, 
so  far  as  I  know,  been  savory,  as  becomes  a  Christian, 
and  a  person  employed  in  his  work  ;  and  I  may  justly 
say,  he  has  been  a  great  comfort  to  me,  and  a  great  in- 
strument of  promoting  this  good  work  among  the  In- 


188  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VII, 

dians ;  so  that  whatever  be  the  state  of  his  own  soul,  it 
is  apparent  God  has  remarkably  fitted  him  for  this 
work.  Thus  God  has  manifested  that,  without  bestow- 
ing on  me  the  gift  of  tongues,  he  could  find  a  way 
wherein  I  might  be  as  effectually  enabled  to  convey 
the  truths  of  his  glorious  Gospel  to  the  minds  of  these 
poor  benighted  pagans. 

5.  "  It  is  further  remarkable,  that  God  has  carried  on 
his  work  here  by  such  means,  and  in  such  a  manner, 
as  tended  to  obviate,  and  leave  no  room  for  those  pre- 
judices and  objections  which  have  often  been  raised 
against  such  a  work.  When  persons  have  been  awak- 
ened to  a  solemn  concern  for  their  souls,  by  hearing 
the  more  awful  truths  of  God's  word,  and  the  terrors 
of  the  divine  law  insisted  upon,  it  has  usually  in  such 
cases  been  objected  by  some,  that  such  persons  were 
only  frighted  with  a  fearful  noise  of  hell  and  damna- 
tion ;  and  that  there  was  no  evidence  that  their  con- 
cern was  the  effect  of  a  divine  influence.  But  God 
has  left  no  room  for  this  objection  in  the  present  case ; 
this  work  of  grace  having  been  begun  and  carried  on 
by  almost  one  continued  strain  of  Gospel  invitation  to 
perishing  sinners.  This  may  reasonably  be  guessed, 
from  a  view  of  the  passages  of  Scripture  I  chiefly  in- 
sisted upon  in  my  discourses  from  time  to  time ;  which 
I  have  for  that  purpose  inserted  in  my  diary. 

"  Nor  have  I  ever  seen  so  general  an  awakening  in 
any  assembly  in  my  life  as  appeared  here  while  I  was 
opening  and  insisting  upon  the  parable  of  the  great 
supper.  Luke,  14.  In  which  discourse  I  was  enabled 
to  set  before  my  hearers  the  unsearchable  riches  of 
Gospel  grace.  Not  that  I  would  be  understood  here 
that  I  never  instructed  the  Indians  respecting  their 
fallen  state,  and  the  sinfulness  and  misery  of  it ;  for 


1745.]  CHARACTER   OF   THE    REVIVAL.  189 

this  was  what  I  at  first  chiefly  insisted  upon  with  them, 
and  endeavored  to  repeat  and  inculcate  in  almost  every 
discourse,  knowing  that  without  this  foundation  I 
should  but  build  upon  the  sand,  and  that  it  would  be 
in  vain  to  invite  them  to  Christ  unless  I  could  convince 
them  of  their  need  of  him.  Mark,  2  :  17. 

"  But  still  this  great  awakening,  this  surprising  con- 
cern, was  never  excited  by  any  harangues  of  terror, 
but  always  appeared  most  remarkable  when  I  insisted 
upon  the  compassion  of  a  dying  Savior,  the  plentiful 
provisions  of  the  Gospel,  and  the  free  offers  of  divine 
grace  to  needy,  distressed  sinners.  Nor  would  I  be 
understood  to  insinuate,  that  such  a  religious  concern 
might  justly  be  suspected  as  not  being  genuine  and 
from  a  divine  influence,  if  produced  from  the  preach- 
ing of  terror ;  for  this  is  perhaps  God's  more  usual  way 
of  awakening  sinners,  and  appears  entirely  agreeable 
to  Scripture  and  sound  reason.  But  what  I  meant 
here  to  observe  is,  that  God  saw  fit  to  employ  and  bless 
milder  means  for  the  effectual  awakening  of  these  In- 
dians, and  thereby  obviated  the  forementioned  objec- 
tion, which  the  world  might  otherwise  have  had  a 
more  plausible  color  of  making. 

"  As  there  has  been  no  room  for  any  plausible  ob 
jection  against  this  work,  with  regard  to  the  means,  so 
neither  with  regard  to  the  manner  in  which  it  has  been 
carried  on.  It  is  true,  persons'  concern  for  their  souls 
have  been  exceeding  great ;  the  convictions  of  their  sin 
and  misery  have  arisen  to  a  high  degree,  and  produced 
many  tears,  cries,  and  groans  ;  but  then  they  have  not 
been  attended  with  those  disorders,  either  bodily  or 
mental,  which  have  sometimes  prevailed  among  per- 
sons under  religious  impressions.  There  has  here  been 
no  appearance  of  those  convulsions,  bodily  agonies, 


190  LIFE    OF   BRAINEKD.  [Chap.   VII 

frightful  screamings,  swoonings,  and  the  like,  which 
have  been  so  much  complained  of  in  some  places  ;  al 
though  there  have  been  some,  who,  with  the  jailer, 
have  been  made  to  tremble  under  a  sense  of  their  sin 
and  misery,  and  have  been  made  to  cry  out  from  a  dis- 
tressing view  of  their  perishing  state. 

"  Nor  has  there  been  any  appearance  of  mental  dis- 
orders here,  such  as  visions,  trances,  imaginations  of 
being  under  prophetic  inspiration,  and  the  like ;  or 
scarce  any  unbecoming  disposition  to  appear  remark- 
ably affected  either  with  concern  or  joy ;  though  I  must 
confess  I  observed  one  or  two  persons,  whose  concern 
I  thought  was  in  a  considerable  measure  affected ;  and 
one  whose  joy  appeared  to  be  of  the  same  kind.  But 
these  workings  of  spiritual  pride  I  endeavored  to  crush 
in  their  first  appearances,  and  have  not  since  observed 
any  affection,  either  of  joy  or  sorrow,  but  what  ap- 
peared genuine  and  unaffected.  But, 

Lastly.  The  effects  of  this  work  have  likewise  been 
very  remarkable.  I  doubt  not  but  that  many  of  these 
people  have  gained  more  doctrinal  knowledge  of  divine 
truths  since  I  first  visited  them  in  June  last,  than  could 
have  been  instilled  into  their  minds  by  the  most  dili- 
gent use  of  proper  and  instructive  means  for  whole 
years  together,  without  such  a  divine  influence.  Their 
pagan  notions  and  idolatrous  practices  seem  to  be  en- 
tirely abandoned  in  these  parts.  They  are  regulated, 
and  appear  regularly  disposed  in  the  affairs  of  mar- 
riage ;  an  instance  whereof  I  have  given  in  my  journal 
of  August  14.  They  seem  generally  divorced  from 
drunkenness,  their  darling  vice,  the  '  sin  that  easily 
besets  them ;'  so  that  I  do  not  know  of  more  than  two 
or  three,  who  have  been  my  steady  hearers,  that  have 
drank  to  excess  since  I  first  visited  them ;  although  be- 


1745.J  CHARACTER   OF   THE   REVIVAL.  191 

fore  it  was  common  for  some  or  other  of  them  to  be 
drunk  almost  every  day  :  and  some  of  them  seem  now 
to  fear  this  sin  in  particular,  more  than  death  itself.  A 
principle  of  honesty  and  justice  appears  in  many  of 
them  ;  and  they  seem  concerned  to  discharge  their  old 
debts,  which  they  have  neglected,  and  perhaps  scarce- 
ly thought  of  for  years  past.  Their  manner  of  living 
is  much  more  decent  and  comfortable  than  formerly, 
having  now  the  benefit  of  that  money  which  they  used 
to  consume  upon  strong  drink.  Love  seems  to  reign 
among  them,  especially  those  who  have  given  evi- 
dences of  having  passed  a  saving  change :  and  I  never 
saw  any  appearance  of  bitterness  or  censoriousness  in 
these,  nor  any  disposition  to  '  esteem  themselves  better 
than  others,'  who  had  not  received  the  like  mercy. 

"  As  their  sorrows  under  convictions  have  been  great 
and  pressing,  so  many  of  them  have  since  appeared  to 
'  rejoice  with  joy  unspeakable,  and  full  of  glory ;'  and 
yet  I  never  saw  any  thing  ecstatic  or  nighty  in  their 
joy.  Their  consolations  do  not  incline  them  to  light- 
ness ;  but,  on  the  contrary,  are  attended  with  solemni- 
ty, and  often  times  with  tears,  and  an  apparent  broken- 
ness  of  heart,  as  may  be  seen  in  several  passages  of  my 
diary.  In  this  respect  some  of  them  have  been  sur- 
prised at  themselves,  and  have  with  concern  observed 
to  me,  that  '  when  their  hearts  have  been  glad,'  which 
is  a  phrase  they  commonly  make  use  of  to  express 
spiritual  joy,  '  they  could  not  help  crying  for  all.' 

"  And  now,  upon  the  whole,  I  think  I  may  justly 
say,  that  here  are  all  the  symptoms  and  evidences  of  a 
remarkable  work  of  grace  among  these  Indians,  which 
can  reasonably  be  desired  or  expected.  May  the  great 
Author  of  this  work  maintain  and  promote  the  same 
here,  and  propagate  it  every  where,  till  '  the  whole  earth 
he  filled  with  his  glory !'  Amen. 


192  LIFE    OP   BRAINEHD.  |_Chap.  VII. 

"  I  have  now  rode  more  .than  three  thousand  miles, 
of  which  I  have  kept  an  exact  account,  since  the  begin- 
ning of  March  last,  and  almost  the  whole  of  it  has  been 
in  my  own  proper  business  as  a  missionary,  upon  the 
design,  either  immediately  or  more  remotely,  of  pro- 
pagating Christian  knoidedge  among  the  Indians.  I 
have  taken  pains  to  look  out  for  a  colleague  or  com- 
panion, to  travel  with  me ;  and  have  likewise  used  en- 
deavors to  procure  something  for  his  support,  among 
religious  persons  in  New-England,  which  cost  me  a 
journey  of  several  hundred  miles ;  but  have  not,  as  yet, 
found  any  person  qualified  and  disposed  for  this  good 
work,  although  I  had  some  encouragement  from  mi- 
nisters and  others,  that  it  was  hoped  a  maintenance 
might  be  procured  for  one,  when  the  man  should  be 
found. 

"  I  have  likewise  of  late  represented  to  the  gentle- 
men concerned  with  this  mission,  the  necessity  of 
having  an  English  school  speedily  set  up  among  these 
Indians,  who  are  now  willing  to  be  at  the  pains  of  ga- 
thering together  in  a  body,  for  this  purpose.  In  order 
thereto,  I  have  humbly  proposed  to  them  the  collect- 
ing of  money  for  the  maintenance  of  a  schoolmaster, 
and  the  defraying  of  other  necessary  charges,  in  the 
promotion  of  this  good  work  ;  which  they  are  now  at- 
tempting in  the  several  congregations  of  Christians  to 
which  they  respectively  belong. 

"  The  several  companies  of  Indians  to  whom  I  have 
preached  in  the  summer  past,  live  at  great  distances 
from  each  other.  It  is  more  than  seventy  miles  from 
Crossweeksung,  in  New-Jersey,  to  the  Forks  of  Dela- 
ware in  Pennsylvania ;  and  thence  to  sundry  of  the  In- 
dian settlements  which  I  visited  on  the  Susquehanna, 
is  more  than  an  hundred  and  twenty  miles.  So  much 


1745.J  DIFFICULTIES   OF   THE   MISSION.  193 

of  my  time  is  necessarily  consumed  in  journeying, 
that  I  can  have  but  little  for  any  of  my  necessary 
studies,  and  consequently  for  the  study  of  the  Indian 
languages  in  particular ;  and  especially  seeing  I  am 
obliged  to  discourse  so  frequently  to  the  Indians  at 
each  of  these  places  while  I  am  with  them,  in  order  to 
redeem  time  to  visit  the  rest.  I  am,  at  times,  almost 
discouraged  from  attempting  to  gain  any  acquaintance 
with  the  Indian  languages,  they  are  so  very  numerous; 
some  account  of  which  I  gave  in  my  diary  of  May  last ; 
and  especially,  seeing  my  other  labors  and  fatigues  en- 
gross almost  the  whole  of  my  time,  and  bear  exceed- 
ingly hard  upon  my  constitution,  so  that  my  health  is 
much  impaired.  However,  I  have  taken  considerable 
pains  to  learn  the  Delaware  language,  and  propose  still 
to  do  so,  as  far  as  my  other  business  and  bodily  health 
will  admit.  I  have  already  made  some  proficiency  in 
it,  though  I  have  labored  under  many  and  great  dis- 
advantages in  my  attempts  of  that  nature.  It  is  but 
just  to  observe  here,  that  all  the  pains  I  took  to  ac- 
quaint myself  with  the  language  of  the  Indians  with 
whom  I  spent  my  first  year,  were  of  little  or  no  service 
to  me  here  among  the  Delawares  ;  so  that  my  work, 
when  I  came  among  these  Indians,  was  all  to  be  begun 
anew. 

"  As  these  poor  ignorant  pagans  stood  in  need  of 
having  '  line  upon  line,  and  precept  upon  precept,'  in 
order  to  their  being  instructed  and  grounded  in  the 
principles  of  Christianity ;  so  I  preached  '  publicly, 
and  taught  from  house  to  house,'  almost  every  day  for 
whole  weeks  together,  when  I  was  with  them.  My 
public  discourses  did  not  then  make  up  the  one  half  of 
my  work,  while  there  were  so  many  constantly  coming 
to  me  with  that  important  inquiry,  '  What  must  we 

Brainerd.  13 


194  UFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII 

do  to  be  saved  ?'  and  opening  to  me  the  various  ex- 
ercises of  their  minds.  Yet  J  can  say,  to  the  praise  of 
divine  grace,  that  the  apparent  success,  with  which  my 
labors  were  crowned,  unspeakably  more  than  compen- 
sated for  the  labor  itself,  and  was  likewise  a  great 
means  of  supporting  and  carrying  me  through  the  bu- 
siness and  fatigues  under  which,  it  seems,  my  nature 
would  have  sunk  without  such  an  encouraging  pros- 
pect. But  although  this  success  has  afforded  matter  of 
support,  comfort,  and  thankfulness;  yet  in  this  season 
I  have  found  great  need  of  assistance  in  my  work,  and 
have  been  much  oppressed  for  want  of  one  to  bear  a 
part  of  my  labors  and  hardships.  '  May  the  Lord  of 
the  harvest  send  forth  other  laborers  into  this  part  of 
his  harvest,  that  those  who  sit  in  darkness  may  see 
great  light ;  and  that  the  whole  earth  may  be  filled  with 
the  knowledge  of  himself!  Amen.'  " 


CHAPTER 

Being  part  2d  of  his  public  journal  of  "  the  Continuance  and 
Progress  of  a  remarkable  work  of  grace  among  the  Indians  in 
New-Jersey  and  Pennsylvania,  kept  by  order  of  the  Society  in 
Scotland  for  propagating  Christian  knowledge." — Renewal  of 
labor  at  Crossweeksung — outpouring  of  the  spirit — remarkable 
case — signal  displays  of  divine  power — a  convert — a  number  of 
Christian  Indians  accompany  him  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware — 
striking  conversion  at  Crossweeksung — day  of  fasting — Lord's 
supper — conversion  of  a  Conjurer — general  remarks  on  the  pre- 
ceding narrative. 

Nov.  5,  1745.— June  19,  1746. 

Crossweeksung,  New-Jersey;  1745. 
Lord's  day,  Nov.  24. — "  Preached  both  parts  of  the 
day  from  the  story  of  Zaccheus.  Luke,  19  :  1-9.    In 


1745.J  AT   CROSSWEEKSDNG.  195 

the  latter  exercise,  when  I  opened  and  insisted  upon 
the  salvation  that  comes  to  a  sinner  upon  his  becoming 
a  son  of  Abraham,  or  a  true  believer,  the  word  seemed 
to  be  attended  with  divine  power  to  the  hearts  of  the 
hearers.  Numbers  were  much  affected  with  divine 
truth  ;  former  convictions  were  revived  ;  one  or  two 
persons  newly  awakened  ;  and  a  most  affectionate  en- 
gagement in  divine  service  appeared  among  them  uni- 
versally. The  impressions  they  were  under  appeared 
to  be  the  genuine  effect  of  God's  word  brought  home 
to  their  hearts  by  the  power  and  influence  of  the  Di- 
vine Spirit. 

Nov.  26. — "  After  having  spent  some  time  in  private 
conferences  with  my  people,  I  discoursed  publicly 
among  them  from  John,  5  :  1-9.  I  was  favored  with 
some  special  freedom  and  fervency  in  my  discourse, 
and  a  powerful  energy  accompanied  divine  truth. 
Many  wept  and  sobbed  affectionately,  and  scarcely  any 
appeared  unconcerned  in  the  whole  assembly.  The 
influence  which  seized  the  audience  appeared  gentle, 
and  yet  pungent  and  efficacious.  It  produced  no  bois- 
terous commotion  of  the  passions;  but  seemed  deeply 
to  affect  the  heart,  and  excite  in  the  persons  under  con- 
victions of  their  lost  state,  heavy  groans  and  tears;  and 
in  others,  who  had  obtained  comfort,  a  sweet  and  hum- 
ble melting.  It  seemed  like  the  gentle  but  steady 
showers  which  effectually  water  the  earth,  without 
violently  beating  upon  the  surface.  The  persons  lately 
awakened  were  some  of  them  deeply  distressed  for 
their  souls,  and  appeared  earnestly  solicitous  to  obtain 
an  interest  in  Christ ;  and  some  of  them,  after  public 
worship  was  over,  in  anguish  of  spirit,  said  '  they 
knew  not  what  to  do,  nor  how  to  get  their  wicked 
hearts  changed,'  &c. 


196  LIFE   OP   BRAINEBD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

Nov.  28. — "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  publicly,  after 
having  used  some  private  endeavors  to  instruct  and 
excite  some  in  the  duties  of  Christianity.  Opened  and 
made  remarks  upon  the  sacred  story  of  our  Lord's 
transfiguration.  Luke,  9  :  28-36.  Had  a  principal  view 
in  insisting  upon  this  passage  of  Scripture  to  the  edifi- 
cation and  consolation  of  God's  people.  Observed 
some,  that  I  have  reason  to  think  are  truly  such,  ex- 
ceedingly affected  with  an  account  of  the  glory  of  Christ 
in  his  transfiguration,  and  filled  with  longing  desires  ol 
being  with  him,  that  they  might  with  open  face  behold 
his  glory. 

"  After  public  service  was  over,  I  asked  one  of  them, 
who  wept  and  sobbed  most  affectionately,  what  she 
now  wanted  ?  She  replied,  '  O,  to  be  with  Christ. 
She  did  riot  know  how  to  stay,'  &c.  This  was  a 
blessed  refreshing  season  to  the  religious  people  in  ge- 
neral. The  Lord  Jesus  Christ  seemed  to  manifest  his 
divine  glory  to  them,  as  when  transfigured  before  his 
disciples ;  and  they  were  ready,  with  the  disciples,  uni- 
versally to  say,  '  Lord  it  is  good  for  us  to  be  here.' 

"  The  influence  of  God's  word  was  not  confined  to 
those  who  had  given  evidence  of  being  truly  gracious: 
though  at  this  time  I  calculated  my  discourse  for  and 
directed  it  chiefly  to  such.  But  it  appeared  to  be  a 
season  of  divine  power  in  the  whole  assembly  ;  so  that 
most  were  in  some  measure  affected.  One  aged  man, 
in  particular,  lately  awakened,  was  now  brought  under 
a  deep  and  pressing  concern  for  his  soul,  was  now 
earnestly  inquisitive  '  how  he  might  find  Jesus  Christ.' 
God  seems  still  to  vouchsafe  his  divine  presence,  and 
the  influence  of  his  blessed  Spirit  to  accompany  his 
word,  at  least  in  some  measure,  in  all  ouV  meetings  for 
divine  worship. 


1745.  |  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNQ.  197 

Nov.  30. — "  Preached  near  night,  after  having  spent 
some  hours  in  private  conference  with  some  of  my 
people  about  their  souls'  concerns.  Explained  the 
story  of  the  rich  man  and  Lazarus.  Luke,  16 :  19-26. 
The  word  made  powerful  impressions  upon  many  in 
the  assembly,  especially  while  I  discoursed  of  the  bless- 
edness of  Lazarus  in  Abraham's  bosom.  This  I  could 
perceive  affected  them  much  more  than  what  I  spoke 
of  the  rich  man's  misery  and  torments ;  and  thus  it  has 
been  usually  with  them.  They  have  almost  always 
appeared  much  more  affected  with  the  comfortable 
than  the  dreadful  truths  of  God's  word.  That  which 
has  distressed  many  of  them  under  conviction  is,  that 
they  found  they  wanted  and  could  not  obtain  the  hap- 
piness of  the  godly  ;  at  least  they  have  often  appeared 
to  be  more  affected  with  this  than  with  the  terrors  of 
hell.  But  whatever  be  the  means  of  their  awakening, 
it  is  plain,  numbers  are  made  deeply  sensible  of  their 
sin  and  misery,  the  wickedness  and  stubbornness  of 
their  own  hearts,  their  utter  inability  to  help  them- 
selves, or  to  come  to  Christ  for  help  without  divine 
assistance,  and  so  are  brought  to  see  their  perishing 
need  of  Christ  to  do  all  for  them,  and  to  lie  at  the  foot 
of  sovereign  mercy. 

Lord's  day,  Dec.  1. — "  Discoursed  to  my  people  in 
the  forenoon  from  Luke,  16  :  27-31.  There  appeared 
an  unfeigned  affection  in  many,  and  some  seemed 
deeply  impressed  with  divine  truth.  In  the  afternoon 
preached  to  a  number  of  white  people;  at  which  time 
the  Indians  attended  with  diligence,  and  many  of  them 
were  able  to  understand  a  considerable  part  of  the  dis- 
course. At  night  discoursed  to  my  people  again,  and 
gave  them  particular  cautions  and  directions  relating 
to  their  conduct  in  divers  respects,  and  pressed  them 


198  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  Vllt' 

to  watchfulness  in  their  deportment,  seeing  they  were 
encompassed  with  those  who  waited  for  their  halting, 
and  who  stood  ready  to  draw  them  into  temptations  of 
every  kind,  and  then  to  expose  religion  by  their  mis- 
steps. 

Lord's  day,  Dec.  8. — "  Discoursed  on  the  story  of 
the  blind  man.  John,  9.  There  appeared  no  remarka- 
ble effect  of  the  word  upon  the  assembly  at  this  time. 
The  persons  who  have  lately  been  much  concerned  for 
their  souls  seemed  now  not  so  affected  or  solicitous  to 
obtain  an  interest  in  Christ  as  has  been  usual,  although 
they  attended  divine  service  with  seriousness  and  dili- 
gence. Sucli  have  been  the  doings  of  the  Lord  here 
in  awakening  sinners,  and  affecting  the  hearts  of 
those  who  are  brought  to  solid  comfort,  with  a  fresh 
sense  of  divine  things  from  time  to  time,  that  it  is  now 
strange  to  see  the  assembly  sit  with  dry  eyes,  and 
without  sobs  and  groans. 

Dec.  12. — "  Preached  from  the  parable  of  the  Ten 
Virgins.  Matt.  25.  The  divine  power  seemed  in  some 
measure  to  attend  this  discourse;  in  which  I  was  favor- 
ed with  uncommon  freedom  and  plainness  of  address, 
and  enabled  to  open  divine  truths,  and  explain  them 
to  the  capacities  of  my  people  in  a  manner  beyond 
myself.  There  appeared  in  many  persons  an  affec- 
tionate concern  for  their  souls,  although  the  concern 
in  general  seemed  not  so  deep  and  pressing  as  it  had 
formerly  done.  Yet  it  was  refreshing  to  see  many 
melted  into  tears  and  unaffected  sobs;  some  with  a 
sense  of  divine  love,  and  some  for  the  want  of  it. 

Dec.  15. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians  from  Luke, 
13  :  24-28.  Divine  truth  fell  with  weight  and  power 
upon  the  audience,  and  seemed  to  reach  the  hearts  of 
many.  Near  night  discoursed  to  them  again  from 


1745.]  AT  CROSSWEEKSUNO.  199 

Matt.  25  :  31-46.  At  this  season  also  the  word  ap- 
peared to  be  accompanied  with  a  divine  influence,  and 
made  powerful  impressions  upon  the  assembly  in  gene- 
ral, as  well  as  upon  numbers  in  a  very  special  and  par- 
ticular manner.  This  was  an  amazing  season  of  grace. 
The  word  of  the  Lord  this  day  '  was  quick  and  pow- 
erful, sharper  than  a  two-edged  sword,'  and  pierced 
the  hearts  of  many.  The  assembly  was  greatly  affect- 
ed and  deeply  wrought  upon;  yet  without  so  much 
apparent  commotion  of  the  passions  as  appeared  in  the 
beginning  of  this  work  of  grace.  The  impressions 
made  by  the  word  of  God  upon  the  audience  appeared 
solid,  rational,  and  deep  ;  worthy  of  the  solemn  truths 
by  means  of  which  they  were  produced,  and  far  from 
being  the  effects  of  any  sudden  fright,  or  groundless 
perturbation  of  mind.  O  how  did  the  hearts  of  the 
hearers  seem  to  bow  under  the  weight  of  divine  truth, 
and  how  evident  did  it  now  appear  that  they  received 
and  felt  them,  '  not  as  the  word  of  man,  but  as  the 
word  of  God.'  None  can  form  a  just  idea  of  the  ap- 
pearance of  our  assembly  at  this  time,  but  those  who 
have  seen  a  congregation  solemnly  awed,  and  deeply 
impressed  by  the  special  power  and  influence  of  divine 
truths  delivered  to  them  in  the  name  of  God. 

Dec.  16. — "  Discoursed  to  my  people  in  the  evening 
from  Luke,  11  :  1-13.  After  having  insisted  some  time 
upon  the  ninth  verse,  wherein  there  is  a  command  and 
encouragement  to  ask  for  the  divine  favor,  I  called 
upon  them  to  ask  for  a  new  heart  with  the  utmost  im- 
portunity, as  the  man  mentioned  in  the  parable,  on 
which  I  was  discoursing,  pleaded  for  loaves  of  bread 
at  midnight.  There  was  much  affection  and  concern 
in  the  assembly,  and  especially  one  woman  appeared 
in  great  distress  for  her  soul.  She  was  brought  to  such 


^WO  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [drap.  VIM- 

an  agony  in  seeking  after  Christ,  that  the  sweat  ran 
off  her  face  for  a  considerable  time,  though  the  even- 
ing was  very  cold ;  and  her  bitter  cries  were  the  most 
affecting  indications  of  her  heart. 

Dec.  21. — "My  people  having  now  attained  to  a 
considerable  degree  of  knowledge  in  the  principles  ol 
Christianity;  I  thought  it  proper  to  set  up  a  catecheti- 
cal lecture  among  them,  and  this  evening  attempted 
something  in  that  form,  proposing  questions  to  them 
agreeably  to  the  Assembly's  Shorter  Catechism,  re- 
ceiving their  answers,  and  then  explaining  and  insist- 
ing, as  appeared  necessary  and  proper  upon  each  ques- 
tion. After  this  I  endeavored  to  make  some  practical 
improvement  of  the  whole.  This  was  the  method  I 
entered  upon.  They  were  able  readily  and  rationally 
to  answer  many  important  questions  which  I  proposed 
to  them ;  so  that  upon  trial  I  found  their  doctrinal 
knowledge  to  exceed  my  own  expectations.  In  the 
improvement  of  my  discourse,  when  I  came  to  infer 
and  open  the  blessedness  of  those  who  have  so  great 
and  glorious  a  God  as  had  before  been  spoken  of,  '  for 
their  everlasting  friend  and  portion,'  several  were 
much  affected ;  and  especially  when  I  exhorted,  and 
endeavored  to  persuade  them  to  be  reconciled  to  God 
through  his  dear  Son,  and  thus  to  secure  an  interest  in 
his  everlasting  favor.  So  that  they  appeared  not  only 
enlightened  and  instructed,  but  affected,  and  engaged 
in  their  soul's  concerns  by  this  method  of  discoursing. 

Lord's  day,  Dec.  22. — "  Discoursed  upon  the  story 
of  the  young  man  in  the  Gospel.  Matt.  9  :  16-22.  God 
made  it  a  seasonable  word,  I  am  persuaded,  to  some 
souls,  and  in  particular  to  one,  the  same  mentioned  in 
my  journal  of  the  16th  instant,  who  never  before  ob- 
tained any  settled  comfort,  though  I  have  abundant 


1745.J  OUTPOURING   OF  THE   SPIRIT.  201 

reason  to  think  she  had  passed  a  saving  change  some 
days  before.  She  now  appeared  in  a  heavenly  frame 
of  mind,  composed  and  delighted  with  the  divine  will. 
When  I  came  to  discourse  particularly  with  her,  and 
to  inquire  of  her  how  she  obtained  relief  and  deliver- 
ance from  the  spiritual  distresses  which  sire  had  lately 
suffered,  she  answered,  in  broken  English,  'Me  try, 
me  try  save  myself;  last,  my  strength  be  all  gene; 
(meaning  her  ability  to  save  herself;)  could  not  me 
stir  bit  further.  Den  last  me  forced  let  Jesus  Christ 
alone  send  me  hell,  if  he  please.'  I  said,  'But  you  was 
not  willing  to  go  to  hell,  was  you?'  She  replied,  '  Could 
not  me  help  it.  My  heart,  he  would  wicked  for  all. 
Could  not  me  make  him,  good,'  (meaning,  she  saw  it 
was  right  she  should  go  to  hell,  because  her  heart  was 
wicked,  and  would  be  so  after  all  she  could  do  to  mend 
it.)  I  asked  her  how  she  got  out  of  this  case.  She 
answered  still  in  the  same  broken  language,  '  By  by, 
my  heart  be  glad  desperately?  I  asked  her  why  her 
heart  was  glad?  She  replied, '  Glad  my  heart,  Jesus 
Christ  do  what  he  please  with  me.  Did  not  me  care 
where  he  put  me;  love  him  for  all,''  &c.  She  could  not 
readily  be  convinced  but  that  she  was  willing  to  go  to 
hell  if  Christ  was  pleased  to  send  her  there;  although 
the  truth  evidently  was,  that  her  will  was  so  swallowed 
up  in  the  divine  will  that  she  could  not  frame  any  hell 
in  her  imagination  which  would  be  dreadful  or  unde- 
sirable, provided  it  was  the  will  of  God  to  send  her  to 
,  it.  Toward  night  discoursed  to  them  again  in  the 
catechetical  method  which  I  entered  upon  the  evening 
before.  When  I  came  to  improve  the  truth  which  I 
had  explained  to  them,  and  to  answer  that  question, 
'But  how  shall  I  know  whether  God  has  chosen  me  to 
everlasting  life  ? '  by  pressing  them  to  come  and  give 


202  LIFE    OF   BRA1NERD.  |  Chap.  VII] 

up  their  hearts  to  Christ,  and  thereby  '  to  make  their 
election  sure,'  they  then  appeared  much  affected,  and 
the  persons  under  concern  were  afresh  engaged  in 
seeking  after  an  interest  in  him ;  while  some  others, 
who  had  obtained  comfort  before,  were  refreshed  to 
find  that  loVe  to  God  in  themselves  which  was  an  evi- 
dence of  his  electing  love  to  them. 

Dec.  25. — "  The  Indians  having  been  used  on  Christ- 
mas days  to  drink  and  revel  among  some  of  the  white 
people  in  these  parts,  I  thought  it  proper  this  day  to 
call  them  together  and  discourse  to  them  upon  divine 
things ;  which  I  accordingly  did  from  the  parable  of 
the  barren  fig-tree.  Luke,  13  :  6-9.  A  divine  influence, 
I  am  persuaded,  accompanied  the  word  at  this  season. 
The  power  of  God  appeared  in  the  assembly,  not  by 
producing  any  remarkable  cries,  but  by  rousing  several 
stupid  creatures  who  were  scarcely  ever  moved  with 
any  concern  before.  The  power  attending  divine  truth 
seemed  to  have  the  influence  of  the  earthquake  rather 
than  of  the  whirlwind  upon  them.  Their  passions  were 
not  so  much  alarmed  as  has  been  common  here  in  times 
past,  but  their  judgments  appeared  to  be  powerfully 
convinced  by  the  masterly  and  conquering  influence  of 
divine  truth.  The  impressions  made  upon  the  assem- 
bly in  general,  seemed  not  superficial,  but  deep,  and 
heart  affecting.  O  how  ready  did  they  now  appear  uni 
versally  to  embrace  and  comply  with  every  thing 
which  they  heard,  and  were  convinced  was  their  duty. 
God  was  in  the  midst  of  us,  of  a  truth,  bowing  and 
melting  stubborn  hearts  !  How  many  tears  and  sobs 
were  then  to  be  seen  and  heard  among  us  !  What  live- 
liness and  strict  attention  !  What  eagerness  and  in- 
tenseness  of  mind  appeared  in  the  whole  assembly,  in 
(he  time  of  divine  service.  They  seemed  to  watch  and 


1745.]  REMARKABLE   CASE.  203 

wait  for  the  droppings  of  God's  word,  as  the  thirsty 
earth,  for  the  '  former  and  latter  rain.' 

"  Afterward  I  discoursed  to  them  on  the  duty  of  hus- 
bands and  wives,  from  Eph.  5  :  22-33,  and  have  reason 
to  think  this  was  a  Avord  in  season.  Spent  some  time 
further  in  the  evening  in  inculcating  the  truths  on 
which  I  had  insisted  in  my  former  discourse,  respect- 
ing the  barren  fig-tree ;  and  observed  a  powerful  in- 
fluence still  accompany  what  was  spoken. 

Dec.  26. — "  This  evening  was  visited  by  a  person  un- 
der great  spiritual  distress ;  the  most  remarkable  in- 
stance of  this  kind  I  ever  saw.  She  was,  I  believe, 
more  than  fourscore  years  old ;  and  appeared  to  be 
much  broken  and  very  childish,  through  age ;  so  that 
it  seemed  impossible  for  man  to  instil  into  her  any  no- 
tions of  divine  things ;  not  so  much  as  to  give  her  any 
doctrinal  instruction,  because  she  seemed  incapable  of 
being  taught.  She  was  led  by  the  hand  into  my  house, 
and  appeared  in  extreme  anguish.  I  asked  her  what 
ailed  her  1  She  answered,  '  her  heart  was  distressed, 
and  sJie  feared  she  should  never  find  Christ.'  I  asked 
her  when  she  began  to  be  concerned,  with  divers  other 
questions  relating  to  her  distress.  To  all  which  she 
answered,  for  substance,  to  this  effect :  '  That  she  Jiad 
heard  me  preach  many  times,  but  never  knew  any  thing 
about  it,  never  felt  it  in  her  heart,  till  the  last  Sabbath, 
and  then  it  came,''  she  said,  l  as  if  a  needle  had  been 
thrust  into  her  heart ;  since  which  time  she  had  no  rest 
day  nor  night?  She  added,  '  that  on  the  evening  before 
Christmas,  a  number  of  Indians  being  together,  at  the 
house  where  she  was,  and  discoursing  about  Christ, 
their  talk  pricked  her  heart  so  that  she  could  not  set  up, 
bv.tfell  down  in  her  bed;  at  which  lime  she  went  away,' 
as  she  expressed  it,  '  and  felt  as  if  she  dreamed,  and 


204  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII 

yet  is  confident  she  did  not  dream.  When  she  was  thus 
gone,  she  saw  two  paths;  one  appeared  very  broad 
and  crooked  ;  and  that  turned  to  the  left  hand.  The 
other  appeared  straight  and  very  narrow  ;  and  that 
went  up  the  hill  to  the  right  hand.  She  traveled,]  she 
said,  for  some  time  up  the  narrow  right  hand  path,  till 
at  length  something  seemed  to  obstruct  her  journey, 
sometimes  called  it  darkness  ;  and  tJien  described  it 
otherwise,  and  seemed  to  compare  it  to  a  block  or  bar. 
She  then  remembered  what  she  had  heard  me  say  about 
striving  to  enter  in  at  the  strait  gate,  although  she 
took  little  notice  of  it  at  the  time  when  she  heard  me  dis- 
course upon  that  subject;  and  thought  she  would  climb 
over  this  bar.  But  just  as  she  was  thinking  of  this,  she 
came  back  again,'1  as  she  termed  it,  meaning  that  she 
came  to  herself;  '  whereupon  her  soul  was  extremely 
distressed,  apprehending  that  she  had  now  turned  back, 
and  forsaken  Christ,  and  that  there  was  thei^efore  no 
hope  of  mercy  for  her."1 

"As  I  was  sensible  that  trances,  and  imaginary  views 
of  things  are  of  dangerous  tendency  in  religion,  where 
sought  after  and  depended  upon ;  so  I  could  not  but  be 
much  concerned  about  this  exercise,  especially  at  first; 
apprehending  this  might  be  a  design  of  satan  to  bring 
a  blemish  upon  the  work  of  God  here,  by  introducing 
visionary  scenes,  imaginary  terrors,  and  all  manner  of 
mental  disorders  and  delusions,  in  the  room  of  genuine 
convictions  of  sin,  and  the  enlightening  influences  of 
the  blessed  Spirit;  and  I  was  almost  resolved  to  declare, 
that  I  looked  upon  this  to  be  one  of  satan's  devices, 
and  to  caution  my  people  against  this  and  similar  ex- 
ercises of  that  nature.  However,  I  determined  first  to 
inquire  into  her  knowledge,  to  see  whether  she  had 
any  just  views  of  things, that  might  be  the  occasion  of 


1745.]  REMARKABLE   CASE.  205 

her  present  distressing  concern,  or  whether  it  was  a 
mere  fright,  arising  only  from  imaginary  terrors.  I 
asked  her  numerous  questions  respecting  man's  primi- 
tive, and  more  especially,  his  present  state,  and  respect- 
ing her  own  heart ;  which  she  answered  rationally, 
and  to  my  surprise.  I  thought  it  next  to  impossible,  if 
not  altogether  so,  that  a  Pagan,  who  was  become  a 
child  through  age,  should  in  that  state  gain  so  much 
knowledge  by  any  mere  human  instruction,  without 
being  remarkably  enlightened  by  a  divine  influence. 
I  then  proposed  to  her  the  provision  made  in  the  gos- 
pel for  the  salvation  of  sinners,  and  the  ability  and 
willingness  of  Christ  'to  save  to  the  uttermost  all,  old 
as  well  as  young,  that  come  to  him.'  To  this  she 
seemed  to  give  a  hearty  assent ;  but  instantly  replied, 
'Ay,  but  I  cannot  come;  my  wicked  heart  will  not  come 
to  Christ ;  I  do  not  know  how  to  come,'  &c.  This  she 
spoke  in  anguish  of  spirit,  striking  on  her  breast,  with 
tears  in  her  eyes,  and  with  such  earnestness  in  her 
looks  as  was  indeed  piteous  and  affecting.  She  seems 
to  be  really  convinced  of  her  sin  and  misery,  and  her 
need  of  a  change  of  heart.  Her  concern  is  abiding 
and  constant,  so  that  nothing  appears  why  this  exer- 
cise may  not  have  a  saving  issue.  Indeed  there  seems 
reason  to  hope  such  an  issue,  seeing  she  is  so  solicitous 
to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ,  that  her  heart,  as  she 
expresses  it,  prays  day  and  night. 

"  How  far  God  may  make  use  of  the  imagination  in 
awakening  some  persons  under  these,  and  similar  cir- 
cumstances, I  cannot  pretend  to  determine.  Or,  wheth- 
er this  exercise  be  from  a  divine  influence,  I  shall  leave 
others  to  judge.  But  this  I  must  say,  that  its  effects 
hitherto  bespeak  it  to  be  such  ;  nor  can  it,  as  I  see,  be 
accoimted  for  in  any  rational  way,  but  from  the  influ- 


206  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

ence  of  some  spirit  either  good  or  evil.  The  woman/ 
I  am  sure  never  heard  divine  things  in  the  manner  in 
which  she  now  viewed  them;  and  it  would  seem 
strange  that  she  should  get  such  a  rational  notion  of 
them  from  the  mere  working  of  her  own  fancy,  with- 
out some  superior,  or  at  least  foreign  aid.  Yet  I  must 
say,  I  have  looked  upon  it  as  one  of  the  glories  of  this 
work  of  grace  among  the  Indians,  and  a  special  evi- 
dence of  its  being  from  a  divine  influence,  that  there 
has,  till  now,  been  no  appearance  of  such  things,  no 
visionary  notions,  trances,  and  imaginations,  intermixed 
with  those  rational  convictions  of  sin,  and  solid  conso- 
lations, of  which  numbers  have  been  made  the  subjects. 
And  might  I  have  had  my  desire,  there  had  been  no 
appearance  of  any  thing  of  this  nature  at  all. 

Dec.  28.  "  Discoursed  to  my  people  in  the  catecheti- 
cal method  on  which  I  lately  entered.  In  the  improve- 
ment of  my  discourse,  wherein  I  was  comparing  man's 
present  with  his  primitive  state,  and  showing  from 
what  he  had  fallen,  and  the  miseries  in  which  he  is  now 
involved,  and  to  which  he  is  exposed  in  his  natural  es- 
tate ;  and  pressing  sinners  to  take  a  view  of  their  de- 
plorable circumstances  without  Christ,  as  also  to  strive 
that  they  might  obtain  an  interest  in  him ;  the  Lord,  I 
trust,  granted  a  remarkable  influence  of  his?  blessed 
Spirit  to  accompany  what  was  spoken ;  and  a  great 
concern  appeared  in  the  assembly.  Many  were  melt- 
ed into  tears  and  sobs;  and  the  impressions  made  up- 
on them  seemed  deep  and  heart-affecting.  In  particu- 
lar, there  were  two  or  three  persons  who  appeared  to 
be  brought  to  the  last  exercises  of  a  preparatory  work, 
and  reduced  almost  to  extremity;  being  in  a  great  mea- 
sure convinced  of  the  impossibility  of  their  helping 
themselves,  or  of  mending  their  own  hearts;  and  seem- 


1745.  OUTPOURING  OF   THE   SHRIT.  207 

ed  to  be  upon  the  point  of  giving  up  all  hope  in  them 
selves,  and  of  venturing  upon  Christ,  as  poor,  helpless, 
and  undone.  Yet  they  were  in  distress  and  anguish 
because  they  saw  no  safety  in  so  doing,  unless  they 
could  do  something  toward  saving  themselves.  One 
of  these  persons  was  the  very  aged  woman  above-men- 
tioned, who  now  appeared  'weary  and  heavy  laden' 
with  a  sense  of  her  sin  and  misery,  and  her  perishing 
need  of  an  interest  in  Christ. 

Lord's  day,  Dec.  29. — "Preached  from  John,  3: 1-5. 
A  number  of  white  people  were  present,  as  is  usual  up- 
on the  Sabbath.  The  discourse  was  accompanied  with 
power,  and  seemed  to  have  a  silent,  but  deep  and 
piercing  influence  upon  the  audience.  Many  wept 
and  sobbed  affectionately.  There  were  some  tears 
among  the  white  people  as  well  as  the  Indians.  Some 
could  not  refrain  from  crying  out ;  though  there  were 
not  many  so  exercised.  But  the  impressions  made  up- 
on their  hearts  appeared  chiefly  by  the  extraordinary 
earnestness  of  their  attention,  and  their  heavy  sighs 
and  tears. 

''After  public  worship  was  over  I  went  to  my  house, 
proposing  to  preach  again  after  a  short  season  of  inter- 
mission. But  they  soon  came  in,  one  after  another, 
with  tears  in  their  eyes,  to  know  '  what  they  should  do 
to  be  saved.11  The  divine  Spirit  in  such  a  manner  set 
home  upon  their  hearts  what  I  spake  to  them  that  the 
house  was  soon  filled  with  cries  and  groans.  They  all 
flocked  together  upon  this  occasion ;  and  those,  whom 
I  had  reason  to  think  in  a  Christless  state,  were  almost 
universally  seized  with  concern  for  their  souls.  It  was 
an  amazing  season  of  power  among  them ;  and  seemed 
as  if  God  had  bowed  the  heavens  and  come  down.  So 
astonishingly  prevalent  was  the  operation  upon  old  as 


LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII 

well  as  young,  that  it  seemed  as  if  none  would  be  left 
in  a  secure  and  natural  state,  but  that  God  was  now 
about  to  convert  all  the  world.  I  was  ready  to  think, 
then,  that  I  should  never  again  despair  of  the  conver- 
sion of  any  man  or  woman  living,  be  they  who  or  what 
they  would. 

"It  is  impossible  to  give  a  just  and  lively  description 
of  the  appearance  of  things  at  this  season ;  at  least  sucb 
as  to  convey  a  bright  and  adequate  idea  of  the  ef 
fects  of  this  influence.  A  number  might  now  be  seen 
rejoicing  that  God  had  not  taken  away  the  powerful 
influence  of  his  blessed  Spirit  from  this  place ;  refreshed 
to  see  so  many  striving  to  enter  in  at  the  strait  gate; 
and  animated  with  such  concern  for  them,  that  they 
wanted  to  push  them  forward,  as  some  of  them  express- 
ed it.  At  the  same  time  numbers  both  of  men  and  wo- 
men, old  and  young,  might  be  seen  in  tears ;  and  some 
in  anguish  of  spirit,  appearing  in  their  very  countenan- 
ces like  condemned  malefactors  bound  toward  the 
place  of  execution,  with  a  heavy  solicitude  sitting  in 
their  faces;  so  that  there  seemed  here,  as  I  thought,  a 
lively  emblem  of  the  solemn  day  of  account:  a  mix- 
ture of  heaven  and  hell;  of  joy  and  anguish  inexpres- 
sible. 

"  The  concern  and  religious  affection  was  such,  that 
I  could  not  pretend  to  have  any  formal  religious  exer- 
cise among  them ;  but  spent  the  time  in  discoursing  to 
one  and  another,  as  I  thought  most  proper  and  season- 
able for  each ;  and  sometimes  addressed  them  altogeth- 
er ;  and  finally  concluded  with  prayer.  Such  were  their 
circumstances  at  this  season, that  I  could  scarcely  have 
half  an  hour's  rest  from  speaking,  from  about  half  an 
hour  before  twelve  o'clock,  at  which  time  I  began  pub- 
lic worship,  till  after  seven  at  night.  There  appeared 


1746. J  OUTPOURING   Of   THE   SPIRIT.  209 

to  be  four  or  five  persons  newly  awakened  this  day 
and  the  evening  before;  some  of  whom  but  very  lately 
came  among  us. 

Dec.  30.  "Was  visited  by  four  or  five  young  per- 
sons under  concern  for  their  souls;  most  of  whom 
were  very  lately  awakened.  They  wept  much  while 
I  discoursed  with  them  and  endeavored  to  press  upon 
them  the  necessity  of  flying  to  Christ  without  delay 
for  salvation. 

Dec.  31. — "Spent  some  hours  this  day  in  visiting  my 
people  from  house  to  house,  and  conversing  with  them 
about  their  spiritual  concerns;  endeavoring  to  press  up- 
onChristless  souls  the  necessity  of  a  renovation  of  heart ; 
and  scarce  left  a  house  without  leaving  some  or  other 
of  its  inhabitants  in  tears,  appearing  solicitously  en- 
gaged to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ. 

"  The  Indians  are  now  gathered  together  from  all 
quarters  to  this  place,  and  have  built  them  little  cotta- 
ges, so  that  more  than  twenty  families  live  within  a 
quarter  of  a  mile  from  me.  A  very  convenient  situa- 
tion with  regard  both  to  public  and  private  instruction. 

Jan.  1,  1746. — Spent  considerable  time  in  visiting 
my  people  again.  Found  scarcely  one  but  what  was 
under  some  serious  impressions  respecting  their  spiri- 
tual concerns. 

Jan.  2. — "  Visited  some  persons  newly  come  among 
us,  who  had  scarce  ever  heard  any  thing  of  Christia- 
nity before,  except  the  empty  name.  Endeavored  to  in- 
struct them,  particularly  in  the  first  principles  of  reli- 
gion, in  the  most  easy  and  familiar  manner  I  could. 
There  are  strangers  from  remote  parts,  almost  continu- 
ally dropping  in  among  us,  so  that  I  have  occasion  re- 
peatedly to  open  and  inculcate  the  first  principles  of 
Christianity. 

Brainerd.  14 


210  LIFE   OF   BRAtNERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

Jan.  4. — "Prosecuted  my  catechetical  method  of  in- 
structing. Found  my  people  able  to  answer  questions 
with  propriety,  beyond  what  could  have  been  expected 
from  persons  so  lately  brought  out  of  heathenish  dark- 
ness. In  the  improvement  of  my  discourse  there  ap- 
peared some  concern  and  affection  in  the  assembly; 
and  especially  in  those  of  whom  I  entertained  hopes 
as  being  truly  gracious,  at  least  several  of  them  were 
much  affected  and  refreshed. 

Lord's  day,  Jan.  5. — "  Discoursed  from  Matt.  12  >10 
-13.  There  appeared  not  so  much  liveliness  and  affec- 
tion in  divine  service  as  usual.  The  same  truths  which 
have  often  produced  many  tears  and  sobs  in  the  as- 
sembly seemed  now  to  have  no  special  influence  upon 
any  in  it.  Near  night  I  proposed  to  have  proceeded 
in  my  usual  method  of  catechising ;  but  while  we  were 
engaged  in  the  first  prayer,  the  power  of  God  seemed 
to  descend  upon  the  assembly  in  such  a  remarkable 
manner,  and  so  many  appeared  under  pressing  con- 
cern for  their  souls,  that  I  thought  it  much  more  ex- 
pedient to  insist  upon  the  plentiful  provision  made  by 
divine  grace  for  the  redemption  of  perishing  sinners, 
and  to  press  them  to  a  speedy  acceptance  of  the  great 
salvation,  than  to  ask  them  questions  about  doctrinal 
points.  What  was  most  practical  seemed  most  sea- 
sonable to  be  insisted  upon,  while  numbers  appeared 
so  extraordinarily  solicitous  to  obtain  an  interest  in 
the  great  Redeemer. 

"  This  day  the  woman  mentioned  in  my  journal  of 
December  22,  made  a  public  profession  of  her  faith. 
She  has  discovered  a  very  sweet  and  heavenly  frame 
of  mind  from  time  to  time,  since  her  first  reception  of 
comfort.  One  morning  in  particular,  she  came  to  see 
me,  discovering  an  unusual  joy  and  satisfaction  in  her 


1746.]  OUTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  211 

countenance ;  and  when  I  inquired  into  the  reason  of 
it,  she  replied,  '  that  God  had  made  her  feel  that  it  was 
right  for  him  to  do  what  he  pleased  with  all  things  ; 
and  that  it  would  be  right  if  he  should  cast  her  hus- 
band and  son  both  into  hell ;  and  she  saw  it  was  so 
right  for  God  to  do  what  he  pleased  with  them,  that 
she  could  not  but  rejoice  in  God  even  if  he  should  send 
them  into  hell ;'  though  it  was  apparent  she  loved  them 
dearly.  She  moreover  inquired  whether  I  was  not  sent 
to  preach  to  the  Indians  by  some  good  people  a  great 
way  off.  I  replied,  '  Yes,  by  the  good  people  in  Scot- 
land.' She  answered,  '  that  ner  heart  loved  those  good 
people  so  the  evening  before,  that  she  could  scarce  help 
praying  for  them  all  night,  her  heart  would  go  to  God 
for  them.'  Thus,  the  blessing  of  those  ready  to  perish, 
is  like  to  come  upon  those  pious  persons  who  have 
communicated  of  their  substance  to  the  propagation  of 
the  Gospel.  . 

Lord's  day,  Jan.  12. — "  Preached  from  Isaiah,  55  : 
6.  The  word  of  God  seemed  to  fall  upon  the  audience 
with  a  divine  weight  and  influence,  and  evidently  ap- 
peared to  be  '  not  the  word  of  man.'  The  blessed 
Spirit,  I  am  persuaded,  accompanied  what  was  spoken 
to  the  hearts  of  many ;  so  that  there  was  a  powerful 
revival  of  conviction  in  numbers  who  were  under  spiri- 
tual exercises  before. 

"  Toward  night  catechised  in  my  usual  method. 
Near  the  close  of  my  discourse  there  appeared  a  great 
concern,  and  much  affection  in  the  audience ;  which 
increased  while  I  continued  to  invite  them  to  come  to 
an  all-sufficient  Redeemer  for  eternal  salvation.  The 
Spirit  of  God  seems,  from  time  to  time,  to  be  striving 
with  souls  here.  They  are  so  frequently  and  repeated- 
ly roused,  that  they  seem  unable  at  present  to  lull 
themselves  asleep. 


/ 

212  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   VIII 

Jan.  13. — "  Was  visited  by  several  persons  under 
deep  concern  for  their  souls;  one  of  whom  was  newly 
awakened.  It  is  a  most  agreeable  work  to  treat  with 
souls  who  are  solicitously  inquiring  '  what  they  shall 
do  to  be  saved.'  As  we  are  never  to  be  '  weary  in  well 
doing,'  so  the  obligation  seems  to  be  peculiarly  strong 
when  the  work  is  so  very  desirable.  Yet  I  must  say, 
my  health  is  so  much  impaired,  and  my  spirits  so 
wasted  with  my  labors  and  solitary  manner  of  living ; 
there  being  no  human  creature  in  the  house  with  me ; 
that  their  repeated  and  almost  incessant  applications 
to  me  for  help  and  direction,  are  sometimes  exceed- 
ingly burdensome,  and  so  exhaust  my  spirits  that  I 
become  fit  for  nothing  at  all,  entirely  unable  to  prose- 
cute my  business,  sometimes  for  days  together.  What 
contributes  much  toward  this  difficulty  is,  that  I  am 
obliged  to  spend  much  time  in  communicating  a  little 
matter  to  them  ;  there  being  oftentimes  many  things 
to  be  premised  before  I  can  speak  directly  to  what  I 
principally  aim  at;  which  things  would  readily  be  taken 
for  granted  where  there  was  a  competency  of  doctri- 
nal knowledge. 

Jan.  14. — "  Spent  some  time  in  private  conference 
with  my  people,  and  found  some  disposed  to  take  com- 
fort, as  I  thought,  upon  slight  grounds.  They  are  now 
generally  awakened,  and  it  is  become  so  disgraceful, 
as  well  as  terrifying  to  the  conscience,  to  be  destitute 
of  religion,  that  they  are  in  imminent  danger  of  taking 
up  with  an  appearance  of  grace,  rather  than  to  live 
under  the  fear  and  disgrace  of  an  unregenerated  state. 

Jan.  18. — "  Prosecuted  my  catechetical  method  of 
discoursing.  There  appeared  a  great  solemnity,  and 
some  considerable  affection  in  the  assembly.  This 
method  of  instruction  I  find  very  profitable.  When  J 


1746.  OUTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  213 

first  entered  upon  it  I  was  exercised  with  fears,  lest 
my  discourses  would  unavoidably  be  so  doctrinal  that 
they  would  tend  only  to  enlighten  the  head,  but  not  to 
affect  the  heart.  But  the  event  proved  quite  otherwise ; 
for  these  exercises  have  hitherto  been  remarkably 
blessed  in  the  latter,  as  well  as  the  former  respects. 

lard's  day,  Jan.  19. — "  Discoursed  to  my  people 
from  Isaiah,  55  :  7.  Toward  night  catechised  in  my 
ordinary  method  ;  and  this  appeared  to  be  a  powerful 
season  of  grace  among  us.  Numbers  were  much  af- 
fected. Convictions  were  powerfully  revived,  and 
Christians  refreshed  and  strengthened  ;  and  one  weary, 
heavy  laden  soul,  I  have  abundant  reason  to  hope, 
brought  to  true  rest  and  solid  comfort  in  Christ ;  who 
afterward  gave  me  such  an  account  of  God's  dealing 
with  his  soul  as  was  abundantly  satisfying,  as  well  as 
refreshing  to  me. 

"  He  told  me  he  had  often  heard  me  say  that  per- 
sons must  see  and  feel  themselves  utterly  helpless  and 
undone — that  they  must  be  emptied  of  a  dependence 
upon  themselves,  and  of  all  hope  of  saving  themselves, 
in  order  to  their  coming  to  Christ  for  salvation.  He 
had  long  been  striving  after  this  view  of  things  ;  sup- 
posing that  this  would  be  an  excellent  frame  of  mind, 
to  be  thus  emptied  of  a  dependence  upon  his  own  good- 
ness ;  that  God  would  have  respect  to  this  frame,  would 
then  be  well  pleased  with  him,  and  bestow  eternal  life 
upon  him.  But  when  he  came  to  feel  himself  in  this 
helpless,  undone  condition,  he  found  it  quite  contrary 
to  all  his  thoughts  and  expectations  ;  so  that  it  was  not 
the  same  frame,  nor  indeed  any  thing  like  the  frame 
after  which  he  had  been  seeking.  Instead  of  its  being 
a  good  frame  of  mind,  he  now  found  nothing  but  bad- 
ness in  himself,  and  saw  it  was  for  ever  impossible  for 


214  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

him  to  make  himself  any  better.  He  wondered,  he  said, 
that  he  had  ever  hoped  to  mend  his  own  heart.  He 
was  amazed  that  he  had  never  before  seen  that  it  was 
utterly  impossible  for  him,  by  all  his  contrivances  and 
endeavors,  to  do  any  thing  in  that  way,  since  the  mat 
ter  now  appeared  to  him  in  so  clear  a  light.  Instead 
of  imagining  now  that  God  would  be  pleased  with 
him  for  the  sake  of  this  frame  of  mind,  and  this  view 
of  his  undone  estate,  he  saw  clearly,  and  felt  that  it 
would  be  just  with  God  to  send  him  to  eternal  misery; 
and  that  there  was  no  goodness  in  what  he  then  felt; 
for  he  could  not  help  seeing  that  he  was  naked,  sinful, 
and  miserable,  and  that  there  was  nothing  in  such  a 
sight  to  deserve  God's  love  or  pity. 

"  He  saw  these  things  in  a  manner  so  clear  and  con- 
vincing, that  it  seemed  to  him,  he  said,  he  could  con- 
vince every  body  of  their  utter  inability  to  help  them- 
selves, and  their  unworthiness  of  any  help  from  God. 
In  this  frame  of  mind  he  came  to  public  worship  this 
evening ;  and  while  I  was  inviting  sinners  to  come  to 
Christ  naked  and  empty,  without  any  goodness  of  their 
own  to  recommend  them  to  his  acceptance,  then  he 
thought  with  himself  that  he  had  often  tried  to  come 
and  give  up  his  heart  to  Christ,  and  he  used  to  hope 
that  some  time  or  other  he  should  be  able  to  do  so ; 
biit  now  he  was  convinced  that  he  could  not,  and  it 
seemed  utterly  vain  for  him  ever  to  try  any  more ;  and 
he  could  not,  he  said,  find  a  heart  to  make  any  further 
attempt,  because  he  saw  it  would  signify  nothing  at 
all ;  nor  did  he  now  hope  for  a  better  opportunity  or 
more  ability  hereafter,  as  he  had  formerly  done,  be- 
cause he  saw  and  was  fully  convinced  that  his  own 
strength  would  for  ever  fail. 

While  he  was  musing  in  this  manner  he  saw,  he 


1746.)  OUTPOURING   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  215 

said,  with  his  heart,  (which  is  a  common  phrase  among 
them,)  something  that  was  unspeakably  good  and  love- 
ly, and  what  he  had  never  seen  before ;  and  '  this  stole 
away  his  heart  whether  he  would  or  no.'  He  did  not, 
he  said,  know  what  it  was  he  saw.  He  did  not  say 
'  this  is  Jesus  Christ ;'  but  it  was  such  glory  and  beauty 
as  he  never  saw  before.  He  did  not  now  give  away 
his  heart,  as  he  had  formerly  intended  and  attempted 
to  do ;  but  it  went  away  of  itself  after  that  glory  he 
then  discovered.  He  used  to  make  a  bargain  with 
Christ  to  give  up  his  heart  to  him  that  he  might  have 
eternal  life  for  it.  But  now  he  thought  nothing  about 
himself  or  what  would  become  of  him  hereafter ;  but 
was  pleased,  and  his  mind  wholly  taken  up  with  the 
unspeakable  excellency  of  what  he  then  beheld.  After 
some  time  he  was  wonderfully  pleased  with  the  way 
of  salvation  by  Christ ;  so  that  it  seemed  unspeakably 
desirable  to  be  saved  altogether  by  the  mere  free  grace 
of  God  in  him.  The  consequence  of  this  exercise  is, 
that  he  appears  to  retain  a  sense  and  relish  of  divine 
things,  and  to  maintain  a  life  of  seriousness  and  true 
religion. 

Jan.  28. — "  The  Indians  in  these  parts  have,  in  times 
past,  run  themselves  in  debt  by  their  excessive  drink- 
ing ;  and  some  have  taken  the  advantage  of  them,  and 
put  them  to  trouble  and  charge,  by  arresting  some  of 
them ;  whereby  it  was  supposed  their  hunting  lands  in 
great  part  were  much  endangered,  and  might  speedily 
be  taken  from  them.  Being  sensible  that  they  could 
not  subsist  together  in  these  parts,  in  order  to  their 
being  a  Christian  congregation,  if  these  lands  should 
be  taken,  which  was  thought  very  likely ;  I  thought  it 
my  duty  to  use  my  utmost  endeavors  to  prevent  so  un- 
happy an  event.  Having  acquainted  the  gentlemen 


216  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.VlIl. 

concerned  in  this  mission  with  the  affair,  according  to 
the  best  information  I  could  get  of  it,  they  thought  it 
proper  to  expend  the  money  which  they  had  been  and 
still  were  collecting  for  the  religious  interest  of  the 
Indians,  at  least  a  part  of  it,  for  discharging  their  debts, 
and  securing  these  lands,  that  there  might  be  no  entan- 
glement lying  upon  them  to  hinder  the  settlement  and 
hopeful  enlargement  of  a  Christian  congregation  of  In- 
dians in  these  parts.  Having  received  orders  from  them, 
I  answered  in  behalf  of  the  Indians,  eighty-two  pounds, 
five  shillings,  New- Jersey  currency,  at  eight  shillings 
per  ounce  ;  and  so  prevented  the  danger  or  difficulty 
in  this  respect. 

"  As  God  has  wrought  a  wonderful  work  of  grace 
among  these  Indians,  and  now  inclines  others  irom 
remote  places  to  fall  in  among  them  almost  continually ; 
and  as  he  has  opened  a  door  for  the  prevention  of  the 
difficulty  now  mentioned,  which  seemed  greatly  to 
threaten  their  religious  interests  as  well  as  worldly 
comforts ;  it  is  to  be  hoped  that  he  designs  to  establish 
A  church  for  himself  among  them,  and  hand  down 
true  religion  to  their  posterity. 

Jan.  30. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians  from  John,  3 : 
16,  17.  There  was  a  solemn  attention  and  some  affec- 
tion visible  in  the  audience ;  especially  several  persons 
who  had  long  been  concerned  for  their  souls,  seemed 
afresh  excited  and  engaged  in  seeking  after  an  interest 
in  Christ.  One,  with  much  concern,  afterward  told  me 
'his  heart  was  so  pricked  with  my  preaching  he  knew 
not  where  to  turn  or  what  to  do.' 

Jan.  31. — "  This  day  the  person  whom  I  had  made 
choice  of  and  engaged  for  a  school  master  among  the  In- 
dians arrived  among  us,  and  was  heartily  welcomed  by 
my  people  universally.  Whereupon  I  distributed  several 
dozen  of  primers  among  the  children  and  young  people. 


1746.]  SCHOOL  ESTABLISHED.  217 

Feb.  1 — "My  schoolmaster  entered  upon  his  busi- 
ness among  the  Indians.  He  has  generally  about  thirty 
children  and  young  persons  in  his  school  in  the  day 
time,  and  about  fifteen  married  people  in  the  evening 
school.  The  number  of  married  persons  being  less 
than  it  would  be  if  they  could  be  more  constantly  at 
home,  and  could  spare  time  from  their  necessary  em- 
ployments for  an  attendance  upon  these  instructions. 

"In  the  evening  catechised  in  my  usual  method. 
Toward  the  close  of  my  discourse  a  surprising  power 
seemed  to  attend  the  word,  especially  to  some  persons. 
One  man  considerably  in  years,  who  had  been  a  re- 
markable drunkard,  a  conjurer  and  murderer,  and  was 
awakened  some  months  before,  was  now  brought  to 
great  extremity  under  his  spiritual  distress ;  so  that  he 
trembled  for  hours  together,  and  apprehended  himself 
just  dropping  into  hell,  without  any  power  to  rescue 
or  relieve  himself.  Divers  others  appeared  under 
great  concern,  as  well  as  he,  and  solicitous  to  obtain 
a  saving  change. 

Lord's  day,  Feb.  2. — "  Preached  from  John,  5  :  24, 
25.  There  appeared,  as  usual,  some  concern  and  affec- 
tion in  the  assembly.  Toward  night  proceeded  in  my 
usual  method  of  catechising.  Observed  my  people 
more  ready  in  answering  the  questions  proposed  to 
them  than  ever  before.  It  is  apparent  they  advance 
daily  in  doctrinal  knowledge.  But  what  is  still  more 
desirable,  the  Spirit  of  God  is  yet  operating  among 
them ;  whereby  experimental  as  well  as  speculative 
knowledge  is  propagated  in  their  minds. 

Feb.  5. — "  Discoursed  to  a  considerable  number  of 
Indians  in  the  evening ;  at  which  time  numbers  of  them 
appeared  much  affected  and  melted  with  divine  things. 

Feb.  8. — "  Spent  a  considerable  part  of  the  day  in 


218  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  |  Chap.  Vlli 

visiting  my  people  from  house  to  house,  and  conversing 
with  them  about  their  souls  concerns.  Many  persons 
wept,  while  I  discoursed  to  them,  and  appeared  con- 
cerned for  nothing  so  much  as  for  an  interest  in  the 
great  Redeemer.  In  the  evening  catechised  as  usual. 
Divine  truth  made  some  impressions  upon  the  audi- 
ence ;  and  were  attended  with  an  affectionate  engage- 
ment of  soul  in  some. 

Lord's  day,  Feb.  9. — "  Discoursed  to  my  people  from 
the  story  of  the  blind  man.  Matt.  10  :  46-52.  The 
word  of  God  seemed  weighty,  and  powerful  upon  the 
assembly  at  this  time,  and  made  considerable  impres- 
sions upon  many;  several  in  particular,  who  have 
generally  been  remarkably  stupid  and  careless  under 
the  means  of  grace,  were  now  awakened,  and  wept  af- 
fectionately. The  most  earnest  attention,  as  well  as 
tenderness  and  affection,  appeared  in  the  audience  uni- 
versally. Two  persons  publicly  professed  Christ. 

"Toward  night  catechised.  God  made  this  a  power- 
ful season  to  some.  There  were  many  affected.  For- 
mer convictions  appeared  to  be  powerfully  revived. 
There  was  likewise  one,  who  had  been  a  vile  drunkard, 
remarkably  awakened.  He  appeared  to  be  in  great 
anguish  of  soul,  wept,  and  trembled,  and  continued  to 
do  so  till  near  midnight.  There  was  also  a  poor  heavy 
laden  soul,  who  had  been  long  under  heavy  distress,  as 
constant  and  pressing  as  I  ever  saw,  who  was  now 
brought  to  a  comfortable  calm,  and  seemed  to  be 
bowed  and  reconciled  to  the  divine  sovereignty,  and 
told  me  she  now  felt  and  saw  that  it  was  right  for 
God  to  do  with  her  as  he  pleased  ;  and  that  her  heart 
felt  pleased  and  satisfied  it  should  be  so;  although  of 
late  she  had  often  found  her  heart  rise  and  quarrel  with 
God  because  he  would,  if  he  pleased,  send  her  to  hell 


1746.]         AT  PORKS  OP  DELAWARE.  219 

after  all  she  had  done.  She  added  that  the  heavy 
burden  she  had  lain  under  was  now  removed ;  that  she 
had  tried  to  recover  her  concern  and  distress  again, 
fearing  that  the  Spirit  of  God  was  departing  from  her, 
and  would  leave  her  wholly  careless,  but  that  she  could 
not  recover  it ;  that  she  felt  she  never  could  do  any 
thing  to  save  herself,  but  must  perish  for  ever  if  Christ 
did  not  do  all  for  her ;  that  she  did  not  deserve  he 
should  help  her;  and  that  it  would  be  right  if  he  should 
leave  her  to  perish.  But  Christ  could  save  her  though 
she  could  do  nothing  to  save  herself,  &c.  and  here  she 
seemed  to  rest." 

Forks  of  Delaware,  February,  1746. 
Lord's  day,  Feb.  16. — "Knowing  that  numbers  of 
the  Indians  in  these  parts  were  obstinately  set  against 
Christianity ;  and  that  some  of  them  had  refused  to 
hear  me  preach  in  times  past ;  I  thought  it  might  be 
proper  and  beneficial  to  the  Christian  interest  here  to 
have  a  number  of  my  religious  people  from  Cross- 
weeksung  with  me,  to  converse  with  them  about  reli- 
gious matters  ;  hoping  it  might  be  a  means  to  convince 
them  of  the  truth  and  importance  of  Christianity,  to 
see  and  hear  some  of  their  own  nation  discoursing  of 
divine  things,  and  manifesting  earnest  desires  that 
others  might  be  brought  out  of  heathenish  darkness, 
as  themselves  were.  For  this  purpose  I  selected  half 
a  dozen  of  the  most  serious  and  intelligent  of  those 
Indians,  and  having  brought  them  to  the  Forks  of  De- 
laware, I  this  day  met  with  them  and  the  Indians  of 
this  place.  Numbers  of  the  latter  probably  could. not 
have  been  prevailed  upon  to  attend  this  meeting,  had 
it  not  been  for  these  religious  Indians  who  accompa- 
nied me  hither,  and  preached  to  them  Some  of  those 


220  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [CbaP-  VI11- 

who  had  in  times  past  been  extremely  averse  to  Chris- 
tianity, now  behaved  soberly;  and  some  others  laughed 
and  mocked.  However,  the  word  of  God  fell  with  snch 
weight  and  power,  that  numbers  seemed  to  be  stunned, 
and  expressed  a  willingness  to  hear  me  again  of  these 
matters. 

"Afterward  prayed  with,  and  made  an  address  to  the 
white  people  present ;  and  could  not  but  observe  some 
visible  effects  of  the  word,  such  as  tears  and  sobs 
among  them.  After  public  worship,  spent  some  time, 
and  took  pains  to  convince  those  that  mocked  of  the 
truth  and  importance  of  what  I  had  been  insisting 
upon  ;  and  so  endeavored  to  awaken  their  attention  to 
divine  truth.  Had  reason  to  think,  from  what  I  ob- 
served then  and  afterward,  that  my  endeavors  took 
considerable  effect  upon  one  of  the  worst  of  them. 

"  Those  few  Indians  then  present,  who  used  to  be 
m}^  hearers  in  these  parts,  some  having  removed  hence 
to  Crossweeksung,  seemed  somewhat  kindly  disposed 
toward  me,  and  glad  to  see  me  again.  They  had  been 
so  much  attacked,  however,  by  some  of  the  opposing 
Pagans,  that  they  were  almost  ashamed  or  afraid  to 
manifest  their  friendship. 

Feb.  17. — "  After  having  spent  much  time  in  dis- 
coursing to  the  Indians  in  their  respective  houses,  I 
got  them  together  and  repeated  and  inculcated  what  I 
had  before  taught  them.  Afterward  discoursed  to 
them  from  Acts,  8  :  5-8.  A  divine  influence  seemed  to 
attend  the  word.  Several  of  the  Indians  here  appeared 
to  be  somewhat  awakened,  and  manifested  earnest 
tears  and  sobs.  My  people  of  Crossweeksung  con- 
tinued with  them  day  and  night  repeating  and  incul- 
cating the  truths  I  had  taught  them ;  and  sometimes 
prayed  and  sung  psalms  among  them  ;  discoursing 


1746.]         AT  FORKS  OP  DELAWARE.  221 

with  each  other  in  their  hearing,  of  the  great  things 
God  had  done  for  them  and  for  the  Indians  from 
whence  they  came.  This  seemed,  as  my  people  told 
me,  to  have  more  effect  upon  them  than  when  they 
directed  their  discourse  immediately  to  them. 

Feb.  18. — "  Preached  to  an  assembly  of  Irish  peo- 
ple, nearly  fifteen  miles  distant  from  the  Indians. 

Feb.  19. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians  again,  after 
having  spent  considerable  time  in  conversing  with 
them  more  privately.  There  appeared  a  great  solem- 
nity, and  some  concern  and  affection  among  the  In- 
dians belonging  to  these  parts,  as  well  as  a  sweet  melt- 
ing among  those  who  came  with  me.  Numbers  of  the 
Indians  here  seemed  to  have  their  prejudices  and  aver- 
sion to  Christianity  removed  ;  and  appeared  well  dis- 
posed, and  inclined  to  hear  the  word  of  God. 

Feb.  20. — "  Preached  to  a  small  assembly  of  High 
Dutch  people,  who  had  seldom  heard  the  Gospel 
preached,  and  were  some  of  them,  at  least,  very  igno- 
rant ;  but  numbers  of  them  have  lately  been  put  upon 
an  inquiry  after  the  way  of  Salvation  with  thoughtful- 
ness.  They  gave  wonderful  attention ;  and  some  of 
them  were  much  affected  under  the  word,  and  after- 
ward said,  as  I  was  informed,  that  they  never  had  been 
so  much  enlightened  about  the  way  of  Salvation  in 
vheir  whole  lives  before.  They  requested  me  to  tarry 
with  them,  or  come  again  and  preach  to  them.  It 
grieved  me  that  I  could  not  comply  with  their  request. 
I  could  not  but  be  affected  with  their  circumstances ; 
for  they  were  as  '  sheep  not  having  a  shepherd,'  and 
some  of  them  appeared  under  some  degree  of  distress 
for  sin  ;  standing  in  peculiar  need  of  the  assistance  of 
an  experienced  spiritual  guide. 

Feb.  21. — Preached  to  a  number  of  people,  many  of 


222  LIFE   OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.   V1IJ. 

them  Low  Dutch.  Several  of  the  fore-mentioned  High 
Dutch  people  attended  the  sermon,  though  eight  or  ten 
miles  distant  from  their  houses.  Numbers  of  the  In- 
dians also  belonging  to  these  parts  came  of  their  own 
accord  with  my  people  from  Crossweeksung,  to  the 
meeting.  There  were  two  in  particular  who,  though 
the  last  Sabbath  they  opposed  and  ridiculed  Chris- 
tianity, now  behaved  soberly.  May  the  present  en- 
couraging appearances  continue ! 

Feb.  22. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians.  They  appeared 
more  free  from  prejudice  and  more  cordial  to  Chris- 
tianity than  before ;  and  some  of  them  appeared  affect- 
ed with  divine  truth. 

Lord's  day,  Feb.  23. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians 
from  John,  6  :  35-37.  After  public  service  discoursed 
particularly  with  several  of  them,  and  invited  them  to 
go  down  to  Crossweeksung  and  tarry  there  at  least  for 
some  time;  knowing  that  they  would  then  be  free 
from  the  scoffs  and  temptations  of  the  opposing  Pa- 
gans, as  well  as  in  the  way  of  hearing  divine  truths 
discoursed  of,  both  in  public  and  private.  Obtained  a 
promise  of  some  of  them  that  they  would  speedily  pay 
us  a  visit,  and  attend  some  farther  instructions.  They 
seemed  to  be  considerably  enlightened,  and  much 
freed  from  their  prejudices  against  Christianity.  But 
it  is  much  to  be  feared  that  their  prejudice?  will  revive 
again, unless  they  can  enjoy  the  means  of  instruction 
here,  or  be  removed  where  they  may  be  under  such 
advantages,  and  out  of  the  way  of  their  Pagan  ac- 
quaintances. 

Crossweeksung;  March,  1746. 

March,  I. — "  Catechised  in  my  ordinary  method. 
Was  pleased  and  refreshed  to  see  them  answer  the 
questions  proposed  to  them  with  such  remarkable 


1746.]  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNG.  223 

readiness,  discretion,  and  knowledge.  Toward  the 
close  of  my  discourse  divine  truth  made  considerable 
impression  upon  the  audience,  and  produced  tears  and 
sobs  in  some  under  concern  ;  and  more  especially  a 
sweet  and  humble  melting  in  several,  who,  I  have  rea- 
son to  hope,  were  truly  gracious. 

Lord's  day,  March  2. — Preached  from  John,  15  :  16. 
The  assembly  appeared  not  so  lively  in  their  attention 
as  usual,  nor  so  much  affected  with  divine  truth  in 
general  as  has  been  common.  Some  of  my  people 
who  went  up  to  the  Forks  of  the  Delaware  with  me, 
being  now  returned,  were  accompanied  by  two  of  the 
Indians  belonging  to  the  Forks  who  had  promised  me 
a  speedy  visit.  May  the  Lord  meet  with  them  here. 
They  can  scarcely  go  into  a  house  now  but  they  will 
meet  with  Christian  conversation,  whereby  it  is  to  be 
hoped  they  may  be  both  instructed  and  awakened. 

"  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  again  in  the  afternoon, 
and  observed  among  them  some  animation  and  enga- 
gedness  in  divine  service,  though  not  equal  to  what 
has  often  appeared  here.  I  know  of  no  assembly  of 
Christians  where  there  seems  to  be  so  much  of  the 
presence  of  God,  where  brotherly  love  so  much  pre- 
vails, and  where  I  should  take  so  much  delight  in  the 
public  worship  of  God  in  general,  as  in  my  awn  con- 
gregation ;  although  not  more  than  nine  months  ago, 
they  were  worshipping  devils  and  dumb  idols  under 
the  power  of  Pagan  darkness  and  superstition.  Amaz- 
ing change  this  !  effected  by  nothing  less  than  divine 
power  and  grace.  This  is  the  doing  of  the  Lord,  and 
it  is  justly  marvellous  in  our  eyes. 

March  5. — "  Spent  some  time  just  at  evening  in 
prayer,  singing  and  discoursing  to  my  people  upon  di- 
vine things ;  and  observed  some  agreeable  tenderness 


224  LIKE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  V11I 

and  affection  among  them.  Their  present  situation  is 
so  compact  and  commodious,  that  they  are  easily  and 
quickly  called  together  with  only  the  sound  of  a  conch- 
shell,  (a  shell  like  that  of  a  periwinkle,)  so  that  they 
have  frequent  opportunities  of  attending  religious  ex- 
ercises publicly.  This  seems  to  be  a  great  means, 
under  God,  of  keeping  alive  the  impression  of  divine 
things  in  their  minds. 

March  8. — "  Catechised  in  the  evening.  My  people 
answered  the  questions  proposed  to  them  well.  I  can 
perceive  their  knowledge  in  religion  increases  daily. 
And,  what  is  still  more  desirable,  the  divine  influence, 
which  has  been  so  remarkable  among  them,  appears 
still  to  continue,  in  some  good  measure.  The  divine 
presence  seemed  to  be  in  the  assembly  this  evening. 
"Some,  who  I  have  good  reason  to  think  are  Chris- 
tians indeed,  were  melted  with  a  sense  of  divine  good- 
ness and  their  own  barrenness  and  ingratitude,  and 
seemed  to  hate  themselves,  as  one  of  them  afterward 
expressed  it.  Convictions  also  appeared  to  be  revived 
in  several  instances ;  and  divine  truth  was  attended 
with  such  influence  upon  the  assembly  in  general, that 
it  might  justly  be  called  an  evening  of  divine  power. 

Lords'  day,  March  9. — "  Preached  from  Luke,  10  : 
38-42.  The  word  of  God  was  attended  with  power 
and  energy  upon  the  audience.  Numbers  were  affect- 
ed, and  concerned  to  obtain  the  one  thing  needful. 
Several,  who  have  given  good  evidence  of  being  truly 
gracious,  were  much  affected  with  a  sense  of  their  want 
of  spirituality,  and  saw  the  need  they  stood  in  of  grow- 
ing in  grace.  The  greater  part  of  those  who  had  been 
under  any  impressions  of  divine  things  in  times  past, 
seemed  now  to  l;ave  those  impressions  revived. 

"  In  the  afternoon  proposed  to  have  catechised  in 


1746.J  A  CONVERT.  225 

my  usual  method  :  but,  while  we  were  engaged  in  the 
first  prayer  in  the  Indian  language,  as  usual,  a  great 
part  of  the  assembly  was  so  much  moved  and  affected 
witli  divine  things  that  I  thought  it  seasonable  and 
proper  to  omit  the  proposing  of  questions  for  that  time, 
and  to  insist  upon  the  most  practical  truths.  I  ac- 
cordingly did  so ;  making  a  further  improvement  of 
the  passage  of  Scripture  on  which  I  had  discoursed  in 
the  former  part  of  the  day.  There  appeared  to  be  a 
powerful  divine  influence  in  the  congregation.  Seve- 
ral who,  as  I  have  reason  to  think,  are  truly  pious, 
were  so  deeply  affected  with  a  sense  of  their  own  bar- 
renness, and  their  unworthy  treatment  of  the  blessed 
Redeemer,  that  they  looked  on  him  as  pierced  by  them- 
selves, and  mourned,  yea,  some  of  them  were  in  bit- 
terness, as  for  a  first-born. 

"  Some  poor  awakened  sinners,  also,  appeared  to  be 
in  anguish  of  soul  to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ ;  so 
that  there  was  a  great  mourning-  in  the  assembly : 
many  heavy  groans,  sobs,  and  tears  !  and  one  or  two, 
newly  come  among  us,  were  considerably  awakened. 

"  Methinks  it  would  have,  refreshed  the  heart  of  any, 
who  truly  love  Zion's  interests,  to  have  been  in  the 
midst  of  this  divine  influence,  and  seen  the  effects  of  it 
upon  saints  and  sinners.  The  place  of  divine  worship 
appeared  both  solemn  and  sweet ;  and  was  so  endeared 
by  a  display  of  the  divine  presence  and  grace  that 
those  who  had  any  relish  for  divine  things  could  not 
but  cry,  '  How  amiable  are  thy  tabernacles,  O  Lord  of 
Hosts  !'  After  public  worship  was  over,  numbers  came 
to  my  house,  where  we  sang  and  discoursed  of  divine 
things ;  and  the  presence  of  God  seemed  here  also  to 
be  in  the  midst  of  us. 

"  While  we  were  singing  there  was  one  individual, 

Brainerd.  15 


226  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII 

the  woman  mentioned  in  my  journal  of  February  9 
who,  I  may  venture  to  say,  if  I  may  be  allowed  to  say 
so  much  of  any  person  I  ever  saw,  was  '  filled  with  joy 
unspeakable  and  full  of  glory ;'  and  could  not  but  burst 
forth  in  prayer  and  praises  to  God  before  us  all,  with 
many  tears ;  crying,  sometimes  in  English  and  some- 
times in  Indian,  '  O blessed  Lord!  do  come,  do  come! 

0  do  take  me  away;  do  let  me  die,  and  go  to  Jesus 
Christ !  I  am  afraid  if  I  live  I  shall  sin  again.     O  do 
let  me  die  now  I  O  dear  Jesus,  do  come  !  I  cannot  stay, 

1  cannot  stay  !  O  how  can  I  live  in  this  world  ;  do  take 
my  soul  away  from  this  sinful  place  !  O  let  me  never  sin 
any  more  !  O  what  shall  1  do,  what  shall  I  do,  dear  Je- 
sus.   O  dear  Jesus!'     In  this  ecstacy  she  continued 
some  time,  uttering  these  and  similar  expressions  in- 
cessantly.    The  grand  argument  she  used  with  God  to 
take  her  away  immediately  was,  that  'if  she  lived,  she 
should  sin  against  him.'     When  she  had  a  little  recov- 
ered herself,  I  asked  her  if  Christ  was  now  sweet  to 
her  soul  ?  Whereupon,  turning  to  me  with  tears  in  her 
eyes,  and  with  all  the  tokens  of  deep  humility  I  ever 
saw  in  any  person,  she  said,  'I  have  many  times  heard 
you  speak  of  the  goodness  and  the  sweetness  of  Christ, 
that  he  was  better  than  all  the  world.     But  O  I  knew 
nothing  what  you  meant.     I  never  believed  you,  I  nev- 
er believed  you !  But  now  I  know  it  is  true;'  or  words 
to  that  effect.     I  answered,  'And  do  you  see  enough  in 
Christ  for  the  greatest  of  sinners?'  She  replied,  'O 
enough,  enough  for  all  the  sinners  in  the  world,  if  they 
would  but  come.'    When  I  asked  her,  'If  she  could 
not  tell  them  of  the  goodness  of  Christ.'    Turning 
herself  about  to  some  Christless  souls,  who  stood  by, 
and  were  much  affected,  she  said,  'O  there  is  enough 
in  Christ  for  you  if  you  would  but  come.     O  strive 


1746'  A  CONVERT.  227 

strive  to  give  up  your  hearts  to  him,'  &c.  On  hearing 
something  of  the  glory  of  heaven  mentioned,  that 
there  was  no  sin  in  that  world ;  she  again  fell  into  the 
same  ecstacy  of  joy  and  desire  of  Christ's  coming;  re- 
peating her  former  expressions,  '  O  dear  Lord,  do  let 
me  go !  O  what  shall  I  do ;  what  shall  I  do.  I  want 
to  go  to  Christ.  I  cannot  live.  O  do  let  me  die,"  &c. 

"She  continued  in  this  sweet  frame  for  more  than  two 
hours  before  she  was  able  to  get  home.  I  am  very 
sensible  that  there  may  be  great  joys,  arising  even  to 
an  ecstasy,  where  there  is  still  no  substantial  evidence 
of  their  being  well  grounded.  But  in  the  present  case 
there  seemed  to  be  no  evidence  wanting  in  order  to 
prove  this  joy  to  be  divine ;  either  in  regard  to  its  pre- 
paratives, attendants,  or  consequents. 

"Of  all  the  persons  whom  I  have  seen  under  spiritual 
exercise  I  scarcely  ever  saw  one  appear  more  bowed 
and  broken  under  convictions  of  sin  and  misery,  or 
what  is  usually  called  a  preparatory  work,  than  this 
woman  ;  nor  scarcely  any  who  seemed  to  have  a 
greater  acquaintance  with  their  own  heart  than  she 
had.  She  would  frequently  complain  to  me  of  the 
hardness  and  rebellion  of  her  heart.  Would  tell  me 
that  her  heart  rose  and  quarrelled  with  God,  when 
she  thought  he  would  do  with  her  as  he  pleased,  and 
send  her  to  hell,  notwithstanding  her  prayers,  good 
frames,  &c.,  and  that  her  heart  was  not  willing  to 
come  to  Christ  for  Salvation,  but  tried  every  where 
else  for  help.  As  she  seemed  to  be  remarkably  sensi- 
ble of  her  stubbornness  and  contrariety  to  God,  under 
conviction,  so  she  appeared  to  be  no  less  remarkably 
bowed  and  reconciled  to  his  sovereignty,  before  she 
obtained  any  reliefer  comfort;  something  of  which  I 
have  noticed  in  my  journal  of  Feb.  9.  Since  that  time 


228  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIJl- 

she  has  seemed  constantly  to  breathe  the  temper  and 
spirit  of  the  new  creature;  crying  after  Christ,  not 
through  fear  of  hell  as  before,  but  with  strong  desires 
after  him  as  her  only  satisfying  portion ;  and  has  many 
times  wept  and  sobbed  bitterly  because,  as  she  appre- 
hended, she  did  not  and  could  not  love  him.  When  I 
have  sometimes  asked  her  why  she  appeared  so  sor- 
rowful, and  whether  it  was  because  she  was  afraid  of 
hell ;  she  would  answer  '  No,  I  be  not  distressed  about 
that ;  but  my  heart  is  so  wicked  I  cannot  love  Christ;' 
and  thereupon  burst  into  tears.  But  although  this  has 
been  the  habitual  frame  of  her  mind  for  several  weeks 
together,  so  that  the  execcise  of  grace  appeared  evident 
to  others ;  yet  she  seemed  wholly  insensible  to  it  her- 
self, and  never  had  any  remarkable  comfort  and  sensi- 
ble satisfaction  until  this  evening. 

"This  sweet  and  surprising  ecstasy  appeared  to 
spring  from  a  true  spiritual  discovery  of  the  glory, 
ravishing  beauty,  and  excellency  of  Christ ;  and  not 
from  any  gross  imaginary  notions  of  his  human  nature, 
such  as  that  of  seeing  him  in  such  a  place,  or  posture, 
as  hanging  on  the  cross,  as  bleeding  and  dying,  as  gent- 
ly smiling,  and  the  like ;  which  delusions  some  have 
been  carried  away  with.  Nor  did  it  rise  from  sordid 
selfish  apprehensions  of  her  having  any  benefit  what- 
soever conferred  on  her  ;  but  from  a  view  of  his  per- 
sonal excellency  and  transcendant  loveliness ;  which 
drew  forth  those  vehement  desires  of  enjoying  him 
which  she  now  manifested,  and  made  her  long  'to  be 
absent  from  the  body,  that  she  might  be  present  with 
the  Lord.' 

"The  attendants  of  this  ravishing  comfort  were  such 
as  abundantly  discovered  its  spring  to  be  divine;  and 
that  it  was  truly  'a  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost.'  Now  she 


1746. )  CONVERT.  229 

viewed  divine  truths  as  living  realities,  and  could  say, 
'I  know  these  things  are  so ;  I  feel  that  they  are  true!' 
Now  her  soul  was  resigned  to  the  divine  will  in  the 
most  tender  point;  so  that  when  I  said  to  her,  'What 
if  God  should  take  away  your  husband  from  you,  who 
was  then  very  sick,  how  do  you  think  you  could  bear 
that?'  She  replied, '  He  belongs  to  God,  and  not  to  me ; 
he  may  do  with  him  just  as  he  pleases.'  Now  she  had 
the  most  tender  sense  of  the  evil  of  sin,  and  discover- 
ed the  utmost  aversion  to  it,  longing  to  die,  that  she 
might  be  delivered  from  it.  Now  she  could  freely 
trust  her  all  with  God  for  time  and  eternity.  When  I 
questioned  her,  'How  she  would  be  willing  to  die  and 
leave  her  little  infant ;  and  what  she  thought  would  be- 
come of  it  in  that  case?'  she  answered,  '  God  will  take 
care  of  it.  It  belongs  to  him.  He  will  take  care  of 
it.'  Now  she  appeared  to  have  the  most  humbling 
sense  of  her  own  meanness  and  unworthiness,  her 
weakness  and  inability  to  preserve  herself  from  sin, 
and  to  persevere  in  the  way  of  holiness,  crying, '  If  I 
live  I  shall  sin.'  I  then  thought  that  I  had  never  seen 
such  an  appearance  of  ecstacy  and  humility  meeting 
in  any  one  person  in  all  my  life  before. 

"The  consequents  of  this  joy  are  no  less  desirable 
and  satisfactory  than  its  attendants.  She  since  appears 
to  be  a  most  tender,  broken-hearted,  affectionate,  de- 
vout, and  humble  Christian ;  as  exemplary  in  life  and 
conversation  as  any  person  in  my  congregation.  May 
ahe  still '  grow  in  grace  and  in  the  knowledge  of  Christ.' 

March  10.  "  Toward  night  the  Indians  met  togeth- 
er, of  their  own  accord,  and  sang,  prayed,  and  discours- 
ed of  divine  things  among  themselves;  at  which  time 
there  was  much  affection  among  them.  Some,  who 
are  hopefully  pious,  appeared  to  be  melted  with  divine 


230  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap    VIII 

things ;  and  some  others  seemed'much  concerned  for 
their  souls.  Perceiving  their  engagement  and  affec- 
tion in  religious  exercises,  I  went  among  them,  and 
prayed,  and  gave  a  word  of  exhortation  ;  and  observed 
two  or  three  sornewhat  affected  and  concerned,  who 
scarce  ever  appeared  to  be  under  any  religious  impres- 
sions before.  It  seemed  to  be  a  day  and  evening  of  di- 
vine power.  Numbers  retained  the  warm  impressions 
of  divine  things  which  had  been  made  upon  their  minds 
the  day  before. 

March  14. — "  Was  visited  by  a  considerable  number  of 
my  people,  and  spent  some  time  in  religious  exercises 
with  them. 

March  15.  "In  the  evening  catechised.  My  peo- 
ple answered  the  questions  put  to  them  with  surpris- 
ing readiness  and  judgment.  There  appeared  some 
warmth,  and  a  feeling  sense  of  divine  things  among 
those  who  I  have  reason  to  hope  are  real  Christians, 
while  I  was  discoursing  upon  peace  of  conscience  and 
joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost.  These  seemed  quickened  and 
enlivened  in  divine  service,  though  there  was  not  so 
much  appearance  of  concern  among  those  whom  I 
have  reason  to  think  in  a  Christless  state. 

Lord's  day,  March  16. — "Preached  to  my  congre- 
gation from  Hebrews,  2 : 1-3.  Divine  truth  seemed  to 
have  some  considerable  influence  upon  some  of  the 
hearers,  and  produced  many  tears,  as  well  as  heavy 
sighs  and  sobs,  among  those  who  have  given  evidence 
of  being  real  Christians,  and  others  also.  The  im- 
pressions made  upon  the  audience  appeared  in  general 
deep  and  heart-affecting ;  not  superficial,  noisy  and  af- 
fected. 

"  Toward  night  discoursed  again  on  the  Great  Sal- 
vation. The  word  was  again  attended  with  some  pow- 


1746.]  AT  CROSSWEEKSUNG.  231 

er  upon  the  audience.  Numbers  wept  affectionately, 
and  to  appearance  unfeignedly ;  so  that  the  Spirit  of 
God  seemed  to  be  moving  upon  the  face  of  the  assem- 
bly. The  woman  mentioned  in  my  journal  of  last 
Lord's  day  made  a  profession  of  her  faith,  and  appear- 
ed to  be  in  a  devout,  humble,  and  excellent  frame  of 
mind. 

"My  house  being  thronged  with  my  people  in  the 
evening;  I  spent  the  time  in  religious  exercises  with 
them  until  my  nature  was  almost  spent.  They  are  so 
unwearied  in  religious  exercises,  and  insatiable  in  their 
thirsting  after  Christian  knowledge,  that  I  can  some- 
times scarcely  avoid  laboring  so  as  greatly  to  exhaust 
my  strength  and  spirits. 

March  19. — "  Several  of  the  persons  who  went  with 
me  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware  in  February  last,  having 
been  detained  there  by  the  dangerous  illness  of  one  of 
their  company,  returned  home  but  this  day.  Where- 
upon my  people  generally  met  together  of  their  own 
accord,  in  order  to  spend  some  time  in  religious  exer- 
cises ;  and  especially  to  give  thanks  to  God  for  his  pre- 
serving goodness  to  those  who  had  been  absent  from 
them  for  several  weeks,  and  recovering  mercy  to  him 
who  had  been  sick;  and  that  he  had  now  returned  them 
all  in  safety.  As  I  was  then  absent;  they  desired  my 
school-master  to  assist  them  in  carrying  on  their  reli- 
gious solemnity ;  who  tells  me  that  they  appeared  en- 
gaged and  affectionate  in  repeated  prayer,  singing,  &c. 

March  22. — "  Catechised  in  my  usual  method  in  the 
evening.  My  people  answered  questions  to  my  great 
satisfaction.  There  appeared  nothing  very  remarkable 
in  the  assembly,  considering  what  has  been  common 
among  us.  Although  I  may  justly  say  the  strict  atten- 
tion, the  tenderness  and  affection,  the  many  tears  an^ 


232  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

heart-affecting  sobs,  appearing  in  numbers  in  the  assem- 
bly, would  have  been  very  remarkable,  were  it  not  that 
God  has  made  these  things  common  among  us,  and 
even  with  strangers  soon  after  their  coming  among  us, 
from  time  to  time.  I  am  far  from  thinking  that  every 
appearance  and  particular  instance  of  affection  that 
has  been  among  us, has  been  truly  genuine,  and  purely 
from  a  divine  influence.  I  am  sensible  of  the  contrary ; 
and  doubt  not  but  there  has  been  some  corrupt  mixture, 
some  chaff  as  well  as  wheat ;  especially  since  religious 
concern  has  become  so  common  and  prevalent  here. 

Lord's  day,  March  23. — "  There  being  aboul  fifteen 
strangers,  adult  persons,  come  among  us  in  the  week 
past,  several  of  whom  had  never  been  in  any  religious 
meeting  till  now;  I  thought  it  proper  to  discourse  this 
day  in  a  manner  peculiarly' suited  to  their  circumstan 
ces  and  capacities ;  and  accordingly  attempted  it  from 
Hosea,  13 : 9.  '  O  Israel,  thou  hast  destroyed  thyself.' 
In  the  forenoon  I  opened,  in  the  plainest  manner  I 
could,  man's  apostacy  and  ruined  state,  after  having 
spoken  some  things  respecting  the  being  and  perfec- 
tions of  God,  and  his  creation  of  man  in  a  state  of  up- 
rightness and  happiness.  In  the  afternoon  endeavored 
to  open  the  glorious  provision  God  has  made  for  the 
redemption  of  apostate  creatures,  by  giving  his  own 
dear  Son  to  suffer  for  them  and  satisfy  divine  justice 
on  their  behalf.  There  was  not  that  affection  and  con- 
cern in  the  assembly  which  has  been  common  among 
us ;  although  there  was  a  desirable  attention  appearing 
in  general,  and  even  in  most  of  the  strangers. 

"  Near  sun-set  I  felt  an  uncommon  concern  upon  my 
mind,  especially  for  the  poor  strangers;  that  God  had 
so  much  withheld  his  presence  and  the  powerful  influ- 
ence of  his  Spirit  from  the  assembly  in  the  exercises 


1746.]  AT  CROSSWEEKSCNG. 


of  the  day ;  and  thereby  withheld  from  them  that  de- 
gree of  conviction  which  I  hoped  they  might  have  had. 
In  this  frame  I  visited  several  houses,  and  discours- 
ed with  some  concern  and  affection  to  several  per- 
sons particularly;  but  without  much  appearance  of 
success  till  I  came  to  a  house  where  several  of  the 
strangers  were.  There  the  solemn  truths  on  which  I 
discoursed  appeared  to  take  effect;  first  upon  some 
children;  then  upon  several  adult  persons  who  had 
been  somewhat  awakened  before ;  and  afterward  up- 
on several  of  the  Pagan  strangers. 

"  I  continued  my  discourse,  with  some  fervency,  un- 
til almost  every  one  in  the  house  was  melted  into  tears, 
and  many  wept  aloud,  and  appeared  earnestly  concern- 
ed to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ.  Upon  this,  numbers 
soon  gathered  from  all  the  houses  round  about ;  and 
so  thronged  the  place  that  we  were  obliged  to  remove 
to  the  house  where  we  usually  met  for  public  worship. 
The  congregation  gathered  immediately,  and  many  ap- 
pearing remarkably  affected,  I  discoursed  some  time 
from  Luke,  19  :  10 ;  endeavoring  to  open  the  mercy, 
compassion,  and  concern  of  Christ  for  lost,  helpless, 
and  undone  sinners.  There  was  much  visible  concern 
and  affection  in  the  assembly ;  and  I  doubt  not  but  that 
a  divine  influence  accompanied  what  was  spoken  to 
the  hearts  of  many.  There  were  five  or  six  of  the 
strangers,  men  and  women,  who  appeared  to  be  con- 
siderably awakened ;  and,  in  particular,  one  very  rug- 
ged young  man,  who  seemed  as  if  nothing  would  move 
him,  was  now  brought  to  tremble  like  the  jailor,  and 
weep  for  a  long  time. 

"The  Pagans  who  were  awakened,  seemed  at  once 
to  put  off  their  savage  roughness  and  Pagan  manners, 
and  became  sociable,  orderly  and  humane  in  their  car- 


234  MFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   VIII 

riage.  When  they  first  came.  1  exhorted  my  religious 
people  to  take  pains  with  them  as  they  had  done  with 
other  strangers  from  time  to  time,  to  instruct  them  in 
Christianity.  But  when  some  of  them  attempted 
something  of  that  nature,  the  strangers  would  soon  rise 
up  and  walk  to  other  houses  in  order  to  avoid  the  hear- 
ing of  such  discourses.  Whereupon  some  of  the  se- 
rious persons  agreed  to  disperse  themselves  into  the 
several  parts  of  the  settlement ;  so  that  wherever  the 
strangers  went,  they  met  with  some  instructive  dis- 
course, and  warm  addresses  respecting  their  salvation. 
But  now  there  was  no  need  of  using  policy,  in  order 
to  get  an  opportunity  of  conversing  with  some  of  them 
about  their  spiritual  concerns;  for  they  were  so  far 
touched  with  a  sense  of  their  perishing  state,  as  made 
them  voluntarily  yield  to  the  closest  addresses  which 
were  made  them,respecting  their  sin  and  misery,  their 
need  of  an  acquaintance  with,  and  interest  in  the  great 
Redeemer. 

March  24. — "Numbered  the  Indians  to  see  how  ma- 
ny souls  God  had  gathered  together  here  since  my 
coming  into  these  parts ;  and  found  there  were  now 
about  an  hundred  and  thirty  persons  together,  old  and 
young.  Several  of  those,  who  are  my  stated  hearers, 
perhaps  to  the  number  of  fifteen  or  twenty,  were  absent 
at  this  season.  If  all  had  been  together  the  number 
would  now  have  been  very  considerable;  especially 
considering  how  few  were*  together  at  my  first  coining 
into  this  part  of  the  country:  the  whole  number  not 
amounting  to  ten  persons  at  that  time. 

"  My  people  went  out  this  day  with  the  design  of 
clearing  some  of  their  land,  above  fifteen  miles  distant 
from  this  settlement,  in  order  to  their  settling  there  in 
a  compact  form,  where  they  might  be  under  the  advan- 


1746.]  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNG.  235 

tages  of  attending  the  public  worship  of  God,  of  hav- 
ing their  children  taught  in  a  school,  and  at  the  same 
time  have  a  conveniency  for  planting:  their  land,  in 
the  place  of  our  present  residence,  being  of  little  or  no 
value  for  that  purpose.  The  design  of  their  settling 
thus  in  a  body,  and  cultivating  their  lands,  of  which 
they  have  done  very  little  in  their  Pagan  state,  being 
of  such  necessity  and  importance  to  their  religious  in- 
terest as  well  as  worldly  comfort;  I  thought  it  proper 
to  call  them  together,  and  show  them  the  duty  of  labor- 
ing with  faithfulness  and  industry,  and  that  they  must 
not  now  'be  slothful  in  business,'  as  they  had  ever  been 
in  their  Pagan  state.  I  endeavored  to  press  the  impor- 
tance of  their  being  laborious,  diligent,  and  vigorous 
in  the  prosecution  of  their  business;  especially  at  the 
present  juncture,  the  season  of  planting  being  now 
near,  in  order  to  their  being  in  a  capacity  of  living  to- 
gether, and  enjoying  the  means  of  grace  and  instruc- 
tion. Having  given  them  directions  for  their  work, 
which  they  very  much  wanted,  as  well  as  for  their  be- 
havior in  divers  respects ;  I  explained,  sang,  and  en- 
deavored to  inculcate  upon  them  Dr.  Watts'  Psalm, 

If  God  to  build  the  house  deny  &c. 

and  having  recommended  them,  and  the  design  of  their 
going  forth,  to  God,  by  prayer  with  them,  I  dismissed 
them  to  their  business. 

"  In  the  evening  read  and  expounded  to  those  of  my 
people  who  were  yet  at  home,  and  to  the  strangers 
newly  come,  the  substance  of  the  3d  chapter  of  the 
Acts.  Numbers  seemed  to  melt  under  the  word  ;  espe- 
cially while  I  was  discoursing  upon  verse  19.  '  Repent 
ye,  therefore,  and  be  converted,'  &c.  Several  of  the 
strangers  also  were  affected.  When  I  asked  them  afterr 


236  LIFE   OP   BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

ward,  whether  they  did  not  now  feel  that  their  heart? 
were  wicked,  as  I  had  taught  them ;  one  of  them  re- 
plied, '  Yes,  she  felt  it  now.'  Although  before  she 
came  here,  upon  hearing  that  I  taught  the  Indians  that 
their  hearts  were  all  bad  by  nature,  and  needed  to  be 
changed  and  made  good  by  the  power  of  God ;  she  had 
said,  '  Her  heart  was  not  wicked,  and  she  had  never 
done  any  thing  that  was  bad  in  her  life.'  This,  indeed, 
seems  to  be  the  case  with  them,  I  think  universally,  in 
their  pagan  state.  They  seem  to  have  no  conscious- 
ness of  sin  and  guilt,  unless  they  can  charge  them- 
selves with  some  gross  acts  of  sin  contrary  to  the  com- 
mands of  the  second  table.' 

March  27. — "  Discoursed  to  a  number  of  my  people 
in  one  of  their  houses  in  a  more  private  manner.  In- 
quired particularly  into  their  spiritual  states,  in  order 
to  see  what  impressions  they  were  under.  Laid  before 
them  the  marks  of  a  regenerate,  as  well  as  of  an  unre- 
generate  state  ;  and  endeavored  to  suit  and  direct  my 
discourse  to  them  severally,  according  as  I  appre- 
hended their  states  to  be.  There  were  a  considerable 
number  gathered  together  before  I  finished  my  dis- 
course ;  and  several  seemed  much  affected  while  I  was 
urging  the  necessity  and  infinite  importance  of  getting 
into  a  renewed  state.  I  find  particular  and  close  deal- 
ing with  souls  in  private  is  often  very  successful. 

March  29. — "  In  the  evening  catechised,  as  usual 
upon  Saturday.  Treated  upon  the  benefits  which  be- 
lievers receive  from  Christ  at  death.  The  questions 
were  answered  with  great  readiness  and  propriety; 
and  those  who  I  have  reason  to  think  are  the  dear 
people  of  God  were  in  general  sweetly  melted.  There 
appeared  such  a  liveliness  and  vigor  in  their  attendance 
upon  the  word  of  God,  and  such  eagerness  to  be  made 


1746.]  AT   CROS3WEEKSUNQ.  237 

partakers  of  the  benefits  mentioned,  that  they  seemed 
not  only  to  be  '  looking  for,'  but '  hasting  to,  the  com 
ing  of  the  day  of  God.'  Divine  truths  seemed  to  distil 
upon  the  audience  with  a  gentle  but  melting  efficacy, 
as  the  refreshing  '  showers  upon  the  new  mown  grass.' 
The  assembly  in  general,  as  well  as  those  who  appear 
truly  religious,  were  affected  with  some  brief  accounts 
of  the  blessedness  of  the  godly  at  death ;  and  most  of 
them  then  discovered  an  affectionate  inclination  to  cry 
'  Let  me  die  the  death  of  the  righteous,  and  let  my  last 
end  be  like  his  j'  although  many  were  not  duly  en- 
gaged to  obtain  the  change  of  heart  that  is  necessary 
to  that  blessed  end. 

Lord's  day,  March  30. — "  Discoursed  from  Matt.  25  : 
31—40.  There  was  a  very  considerable  moving,  and 
affectionate  melting,  in  the  assembly.  I  hope  that  there 
were  some  real,  deep,  and  abiding  impressions  of  divine 
things  made  upon  the  minds  of  many.  There  was  one 
aged  man,  newly  come  among  us,  who  appeared  to  be 
considerably  awakened  that  never  was  touched  with 
any  concern  for  his  soul  before.  In  the  evening  cate- 
chised. There  was  not  that  tenderness  and  melting 
engagement  among  God's  people  which  appeared  the 
evening  before,  and  many  other  times.  They  answered 
the  questions  distinctly,  and  well,  and  were  devout  and 
attentive  in  divine  service. 

March  31. — "  Called  my  people  together,  as  I  had 
done  the  Monday  evening  before,  and  discoursed  to 
them  again  on  the  necessity  and  importance  of  labor- 
ing industriously  in  order  to  their  living  together,  and 
enjoying  the  means  of  grace,  &c.  Having  engaged  in 
a  solemn  prayer  to  God  among  them  for  a  blessing 
upon  their  attempts,  I  dismissed  them  to  their  work. 
Numbers  of  them,  both  men  and  women,  seemed  to 


238  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

offer  themselves  willingly  to  this  service ;  and  some 
appeared  affectionately  concerned  that  God  might  go 
with  them,  and  begin  their  little  town  for  them ;  that 
by  his  blessing  it  might  be  a  place  comfortable  for 
them  and  theirs,  with  regard  both  to  procuring  the 
necessaries  of  life  and  to  attending  on  the  worship 
of  God. 

April  5. — "  Catechised  in  the  evening.  There  ap- 
peared to  be  some  affection  and  fervent  engagement  in 
divine  service  through  the  assembly  in  general ;  espe- 
cially toward  the  conclusion  of  my  discourse.  After 
public  worship  a  number  of  those  who  I  have  reason 
to  think  are  truly  religious  came  to  my  house,  and 
seemed  eager  for  some  farther  entertainment  upon  di- 
vine things.  While  I  was  conversing  with  them  about 
their  scriptural  exercises ;  observing  to  them,  that  God's 
work  in  the  hearts  of  all  his  children  was,  for  substance 
the  same ;  and  that  their  trials  and  temptations  were 
also  alike  ;  and  showing  the  obligations  such  were  un- 
der to  love  one  another  in  a  peculiar  manner,  they 
seemed  to  be  melted  into  tenderness  and  affection  to- 
ward each  other.  I  thought  that  this  particular  tokeu 
of  their  being  the  disciples  of  Christ,  viz.  of  their  hav- 
ing love  one  toward  another,  had  scarcely  ever  ap  • 
peared  more  evident  than  at  this  time. 

Lord's  day,  April  6. — "  Preached  from  Matt.  7  :  21- 
23.  There  were  considerable  effects  of  the  word  visi- 
ble in  the  audience,  and  such  as  were  very  desirable  ; 
an  earnest  attention,  a  great  solemnity,  many  tears 
and  heavy  sighs,  which  were  modestly  suppressed  in 
a  considerable  measure,  and  appeared  unaffected  and 
without  any  indecent  commotion  of  the  passions. 
Numbers  of  the  religious  people  were  put  upon  serious 
and  close  examination  of  their  spiritual  state  by  hear- 


1746.]  AT  CROSSWEEKSUNG.  239 

ing  that '  not  every  one  that  saith  to  Christ,  Lord,  Lord, 
shall  enter  into  his  kingdom.'  Some  expressed  fears 
lest  they  had  deceived  themselves,  and  taken  up  a  false 
hope,  because  they  found  they  had  done  so  little  of  the 
will  of  his  Father  who  is  in  heaven. 

"  There  was  one  man  brought  under  a  very  great 
and  pressing  concern  for  his  soul;  which  appeared 
more  especially  after  his  retirement  from  public  wor- 
ship. That  which  he  says  gave  him  his  great  uneasi- 
ness was,  not  so  much  any  particular  sin,  as  that  he 
had  never  done  the  will  of  God  at  all,  but  had  sinned 
continually,  and  so  had  no  claim  to'  the  kingdom  of 
heaven.  In  the  afternoon  I  opened  to  them  the  disci- 
pline of  Christ  in  his  Church,  and  the  method  in  which 
offenders  are  to  be  dealt  with  ;  at  which  time  the  re- 
ligious people  were  much  affected ;  especially  when 
they  heard  that  the  offender,  continuing  obstinate,  must 
finally  be  esteemed  and  treated  '  as  an  heathen  man,' 
as  a  pagan,  who  has  no  part  nor  lot  among  God's  visi- 
ble people.  Of  this  they  seemed  to  have  the  most  awful 
apprehensions ;  a  state  of  heathenism,  out  of  which 
they  were  so  lately  brought,  appearing  very  dreadful 
to  them. 

"  After  public  worship  I  visited  several  houses  to 
see  how  they  spent  the  remainder  of  the  Sabbath,  and 
to  treat  with  them  solemnly  on  the  great  concerns  of 
their  souls.  The  Lord  seemed  to  smile  upon  my  pri- 
vate endeavors,  and  to  make  these  particular  and  per- 
sonal addresses  more  effectual  upon  some  than  my 
public  discourses. 

April  7. — "  Discoursed  to  my  people  in  the  evening, 
from  1  Cor.  11  :  23-26.  Endeavored  to  open  to  them 
the  institution,  nature,  and  ends  of  the  Lord's  Supper, 
as  well  as  of  the  qualifications  and  preparations  neces- 


240  LIFE   OF  BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

sary  to  the  right  participation  of  that  ordinance.  Num- 
bers appeared  much  affected  with  the  love  of  Christ? 
manifested  in  his  making  this  provision  for  the  comfort 
of  his  people,  at  a  season  when  himself  was  just  enter- 
ing upon  his  sharpest  sufferings. 

Lord's  day,  April  20. — "  Discoursed,  both  forenoon 
and  afternoon,  from  Luke,  24 ;  explaining  most  of 
the  chapter,  and  making  remarks  upon  it.  There  was 
a  desirable  attention  in  the  audience ;  though  there  was 
not  so  much  appearance  of  affection  and  tenderness 
among  them  as  had  been  usual.  Our  meeting  was  very 
full ;  there  being  sundry  strangers  present  who  had 
never  been  with  us  before. 

"  In  the  evening  catechised.  My  people  answered 
the  questions  proposed  to  them  readily  and  distinctly ; 
and  I  could  perceive  that  they  advanced  in  their  know- 
ledge of  the  principles  of  Christianity.  There  appeared 
an  affectionate  melting  in  the  assembly  at  this  time. 
Several,  who  I  trust  are  truly  religious,  were  refreshed 
and  quickened,  and  seemed  by  their  discourse  and 
behavior  after  public  worship  to  have  their  '  hearts 
knit  together  in  love.'  This  was  a  sweet  and  blessed 
season,  like  many  others  with  which  my  poor  people 
have  been  favored  in  months  past.  God  has  caused 
this  Kttle  Jleece  to  be  repeatedly  wet  with  the  blessed 
dew  of  his  divine  grace,  while  all  the  earth  around  has 
been  comparatively  dry. 

April  25  — "  Set  apart  this  day,  as  preparatory  to  the 
administration  of  the  Lord's  Supper,  for  solemn  fasting 
and  prayer.  The  design  was  to  implore  the  blessing 
of  God  upon  our  renewing  covenant  with  him,  and 
with  one  another,  to  walk  together  in  the  fear  of  God, 
in  love  and  Christian  fellowship,  and  to  entreat  that  his 
presence  might  be  with  us  in  our  designed  approach  to 


1746.]  AT  CROSSWEEKSUNQ.  241 

his  table  ;  as  well  as  to  humble  ourselves  before  God  on 
account  ol  the  apparent  withdrawment,  at  least  in  a 
measure,  of  that  blessed  influence  which  has  been  so 
prevalent  upon  persons  of  all  ages  among  us  ;  as  also 
on  account  of  the  rising  appearance  of  carelessness, 
vanity,  and  vice,  among  some  who  once  appeared  to 
be  touched  and  affected  with  divine  truth,  and  brought 
to  some  sensibility  of  their  miserable  and  perishing 
state  by  nature.  It  was  also  designed  that  we  might 
importunately  pray  for  the  peaceable  settlement  of  the 
Indians  together  in  a  body  ;  that  they  might  be  a  com- 
modious congregation  for  the  worship  of  God  ;  and 
that  God  would  defeat  all  the  attempts  that  were,  or 
might  be,  made  against  that  pious  design.* 

"  The  solemnity  was  observed  and  seriously  attend- 
ed, not  only  by  those  who  proposed  to  commune  at 
the  Lord's  table,  but  by  the  whole  congregation.  In 
the  former  part  of  the  day  I  endeavored  to  open  to 
my  people  the  nature  and  design  of  a  fast,  as  I  had 
attempted  more  briefly  to  do  before,  and  to  instruct 
them  in  the  duties  of  such  a  solemnity.  In  the  after- 
noon I  insisted  on  the  special  reasons  there  were  for 
our  engaging  in  these  solemn  exercises  at  this  time  ; 
both  in  regard  to  the  need  we  stood  in  of  divine  assist- 
ance, in  order  to  a  due  preparation  for  that  sacred 
ordinance,  upon  which  some  of  us  were  proposing, 

*  There  was  at  this  time  a  terrible  clamor  raised  against  the 
Indians  in  various  places  in  the  country,  and  insinuations  as 
though  I  was  training  them  up  to  cut  people's  throats.  Num- 
bers wished  to  h?.ve  them  banished  from  these  parts,  and  some 
gave  out  great  words  in  order  to  fright  and  deter  them  from 
settling  upon  the  best  and  most  convenient  tract  of  their  own 
lands;  threatening  to  trouble  them  in  the  law;  pretending  a 
claim  to  these  lands  themselves,  although  never  purchased  of 
the  Indians. 

Brainerd.  16 


242  LlfE    OP   BHAINERD.  \_Chap.  VIII, 

with  leave  of  divine  Providence,  speedily  to  attend  ; 
and  also  in  respect  of  the  manifest  decline  of  God's 
work  here,  as  to  the  effectual  conviction  and  conver- 
sion of  sinners  ;  there  having  been  few  of  late  deeply 
awakened  out  of  a  state  of  security.  The  worship  of 
God  was  attended  with  great  solemnity  and  reverence, 
with  much  tenderness  and  many  tears,  by  those  who 
appeared  to  be  truly  religious ;  and  there  was  some  ap- 
pearance of  divine  power  upon  those  who  had  been 
awakened  some  time  before,  and  who  were  still  under 
concern. 

"After  repeated  prayer,  and  attendance  upon  the 
word  of  God,  I  proposed  to  the  religious  people,  with 
as  much  brevity  and  plainness  as  I  could,  the  substance 
of  the  doctrine  of  the  Christian  faith,  as  I  had  formerly 
done ;  and  had  their  renewed  cheerful  assent  to  it.  I 
then  led  them  to  a  solemn  renewal  of  their  covenant, 
wherein  they  had  explicitly  and  publicly  given  up 
themselves  to  God  the  Father,  Son,  and  Holy  Ghost, 
avouching  him  to  be  their  God  ;  and  at  the  same  time 
renouncing  their  heathenish  vanities,  their  idolatrous 
and  superstitious  practices  ;  solemnly  engaging  to  take 
the  Word  of  God,  so  far  as  it  was  or  might  be  made 
known  to  them,  for  the  rule  of  their  lives  ;  promising 
to  walk  together  in  love,  to  watch  over  themselves  and 
one  another,  to  lead  lives  of  seriousness  and  devotion, 
and  to  discharge  the  relative  duties  incumbent  on  them 
respectively,  &c.  This  solemn  transaction  was  attend- 
ed with  much  gravity  and  seriousness  ;  and  at  the  same 
time  with  the  utmost  readiness,  freedom  and  cheerful- 
ness ;  and  a  religious  union  and  harmony  of  soul  seem- 
ed to  crown  the  whole  solemnity.  I  could  not  but 
think  in  the  evening,  that  there  had  been  manifest 
tokens  of  the  divine  presence  with  us  in  all  the  severa. 


1746.]  THE  LORD'S  SUPPER.  243 

services  of  the  day ;  though  it  was  also  manifest  that 
there  was  not  that  concern  among  Christless  souls 
which  has  often  appeared  here. 

April  26. — "  Toward  noon  prayed  with  a.dying  child, 
and  gave  a  word  of  exhortation  to  the  bystanders  to 
prepare  for  death;  which  seemed  to  take  effect  upon 
some.  In  the  afternoon  discoursed  to  my  people  from 
Matthew,  26 : 26-30;  of  the  author,  the  nature,  and  de- 
signs of  the  Lord's  supper;  and  endeavored  to  point 
out  the  worthy  receivers  of  that  ordinance.  The  re- 
ligious people  were  affected,  and  even  melted  with  di- 
vine truth, — with  a  view  of  the  dying  love  of  Christ. 
Several  others,  who  had  been  for  some  months  under 
convictions  of  their  perishing  state,  appeared  now  to 
be  much  moved  with  concern,  and  afresh  engaged  in 
seeking  after  an  interest  in  Christ ;  although  I  cannot 
say  that  the  word  of  God  appeared  so  quick  and  pow- 
erful, so  sharp  and  piercing  to  the  assembly,  as  it  had 
sometimes  formerly  done. 

"In  the  evening  I  catechised  those  who  were  de- 
signed to  partake  of  the  Lord's  supper  the  next  day, 
upon  the  institution,  nature  and  end  of  that  ordinance ; 
and  had  abundant  satisfaction  respecting  their  doctri- 
nal knowledge  and  fitness  in  that  respect  for  an  attend- 
ance upon  it.  They  likewise  appeared  in  general  to 
have  an  affecting  sense  of  the  solemnity  of  this  sacred 
ordinance,  and  to  be  humbled  under  a  sense  of  their 
own  unworthiness  to  approach  to  God  in  it ;  and  to  be 
earnestly  concerned  that  they  might  be  duly  prepared 
for  an  attendance  upon  it.  Their  hearts  were  full  of 
love  one  toward  another,  and  that  was  the  frame  of 
mind  they  seemed  concerned  to  maintain  and  bring  to 
the  Lord's  table  with  them.  In  the  singing  and  prayer 
after  catechising,  there  appeared  an  agreeable  tender- 


244  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.   VIII. 

ness  and  melting  among  them;  and  such  tokens  of 
brotherly  love  and  affection  as  would  even  constrain 
one  to  say,  '  Lord,  it  is  good  to  be  here ;'  it  is  good  to 
dwell  where  such  an  heavenly  influence  distills. 

Lord's  day,  April  27.— "  Preached  from  Tit.  2: 14; 
'Who  gave  himself  for  us,'  &c.  The  word  of  God,  at 
this  time,  was  attended  with  some  appearance  of  divine 
power  upon  the  assembly;  so  that  the  attention  and 
gravity  of  the  audience  were  remarkable;  and  espe- 
cially toward  the  conclusion  of  the  exercise,  many  per- 
sons were  much  affected.  Administered  the  Lord's 
supper  to  twenty  three  persons  of  the  Indians,  the  num- 
ber of  the  men  and  women  being  nearly  equal ;  seve- 
ral others,  to  the  number  of  Jive  or  sir,  being  now  ab- 
sent at  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  who  would  otherwise 
have  communed  with  us.  The  ordinance  was  attend- 
ed with  great  solemnity,  and  with  a  most  desirable  ten- 
derness and  affection.  It  was  remarkable  that  during 
the  administration  of  the  ordinance,  especially  in  the 
distribution  of  the  bread,  they  seemed  to  be  affected  in 
a  most  lively  manner,  as  if  Christ  had  been  really  cru- 
cified before  them.  The  words  of  the  institution,  when 
repeated  and  enlarged  upon  in  the  season  of  the  ad- 
ministration, seemed  to  meet  with  the  same  reception, 
to  be  entertained  with  the  same  free  and  full  belief  and 
affectionate  engagement  of  soul,  as  if  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ  himself  had  been  present,  and  had  personally 
spoken  to  them.  The  affections  of  the  communicants, 
although  considerably  raised,  were,  notwithstanding, 
agreeably  regulated  and  kept  within  proper  bounds. 
So  that  there  was  a  sweet,  gentle,  and  affectionate  melt- 
ing, without  any  indecent  or  boisterous  commotion  of 
the  passions. 

"  Having  rested  sometime  after  the  administration 


1746.]  THE  LORD'S  SUPPER.  245 

of  the  Supper,  being  extremely  tired  with  the  necessary 
prolixity  of  the  work,  I  walked  from  house  to  house, 
and  conversed  particularly  with  most  of  the  commu- 
nicants, and  found  they  had  been  almost  universally 
refreshed  at  the  Lord's  table,  '  as  with  new  wine.'  Nev- 
er did  I  see  such  an  appearance  of  Christian  love 
among  any  people  in  all  my  life.  It  was  so  remarka- 
ble, that  one  might  well  have  cried  with  an  agreeable 
surprise, '  Behold  how  they  love  one  another.'  I  think 
there  could  be  no  greater  tokens  of  mutual  affection 
among  the  people  of  God,  in  the  early  days  of  Chris- 
tianity, than  what  now  appeared  here.  The  sight  was 
so  desirable,  and  so  well  becoming  the  gospel,  that  no- 
thing less  could  be  said  of  it  than  it  was  '  the  doing  of 
the  Lord,'  the  genuine  operation  of  Him, '  who  is  Love.' 

"  Toward  night  discoursed  again  on  the  foremention- 
ed  text,  Tit.  2 : 14 ;  and  insisted  on  the  immediate  end 
and  design  of  Christ's  death :  viz.  That  he  might  re- 
deem his  people  from  all  iniquity,  &c.  This  appeared 
to  be  a  season  of  divine  power  among  us.  The  religi- 
ous people  were  much  refreshed,  and  seemed  remark- 
ably tender  and  affectionate,  full  of  love,  joy,  and  peace, 
and  desirous  of  being  completely  '  redeemed  from  all 
iniquity ;'  so  that  some  of  them  afterward  told  me  that 
'  they  had  never  felt  the  like  before.'  Convictions  also 
appeared  to  be  revived  in  many  instances ;  and  several 
persons  were  awakened  whom  I  had  never  observed 
under  any  religious  impressions  before. 

"  Such  was  the  influence  which  attended  our  assem- 
bly, and  so  unspeakably  desirable  the  frame  of  mind 
which  many  enjoyed  in  divine  service,  that  it  seemed 
almost  grievous  to  conclude  the  public  worship.  The 
congregation,  when  dismissed,  although  it  was  then 
almost  dark,  appeared  loth  to  leave  the  place  and  em- 


246  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  V1IL 

ployments  which  had  been  rendered  so  dear  to  them 
by  the  benefits  enjoyed,  while  a  blessed  quickening  in- 
fluence distilled  upon  them.  Upon  the  whole.  I  must 
say,  I  had  great  satisfaction  relative  to  the  administra- 
tion of  this  ordinance  in  various  respects.  I  have  abun- 
dant reason  to  think,  that  those  who  came  to  the  Lord's 
table  had  a  good  degree  of  doctrinal  knowledge  of  the 
nature  and  design  of  the  ordinance,  and  that  they  acted 
with  understanding  in  what  they  did. 

"  In  the  preparatory  services  I  found,  I  may  justly 
say,  uncommon  freedom  in  opening  to  their  under- 
standings and  capacities,  the  covenant  of  grace,  and  in 
showing  them  the  nature  of  this  ordinance.  They 
were  likewise  thoroughly  sensible  that  it  was  no  more 
than  a  sign,  and  not  the  real  body  and  blood  of  Christ ; 
that  it  was  designed  for  the  refreshment  and  edifica- 
tion of  the  soul,  and  not  for  the  feasting  of  the  body. 
They  were  also  acquainted  with  the  end  of  the  ordi- 
nance, that  they  were  therein  called  to  commemorate 
the  dying  love  of  Christ. 

"  This  competency  of  doctrinal  knowledge,  together 
with  their  grave  and  decent  attendance  upon  the  ordi- 
nance, their  affectionate  melting  under  it,  and  the  sweet 
and  Christian  frame  of  mind  which  they  discovered 
after  it,  gave  me  great  satisfaction  respecting  my  ad- 
ministration of  it  to  them.  O,  what  a  sweet  and  blessed 
season  was  this  !  God  himself,  I  am  persuaded,  was  in 
the  midst  of  his  people.  I  doubt  not  but  many,  in  the 
conclusion  of  the  day,  could  say  with  their  whole 
hearts,  '  Verily,  a  day  thus  spent  in  God's  house  is 
better  than  a  thousand  elsewhere.'  There  seemed  to 
be  but  one  heart  among  the  pious  people.  The  sweet 
union,  harmony  and  endearing  love  and  tenderness 
subsisting  among  them  was,  I  thought,  the  most  lively 


1746.]  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNG.  247 

emblem  of  the  heavenly  world  which  I  had  ever  seen. 

April  28. — "  Concluded  the  solemnity  of  the  Lord's 
supper  with  a  discourse  upon  John,  14 :  15.  '  If  ye 
love  me,  keep  my  commandments.'  At  this  time  there 
appeared  a  very  agreeable  tenderness  in  the  audience 
in  general,  but  especially  in  the  communicants.  O,  how 
free,  how  engaged  and  affectionate  did  these  appear  in 
the  service  of  God  !  they  seemed  willing  to  have  their 
ears  bored  to  the  door  posts  of  God's  house,  and  to  be 
his  servants  for  ever. 

"  Observing  numbers  in  this  excellent  frame,  and  the 
assembly  in  general  affected,  and  that  by  a  divine  in- 
fluence, I  thought  it  proper  to  improve  this  advanta- 
geous season  as  Hezekiah  did  the  desirable  season  of 
his  great  passover,  2  Chron.  31,  in  order  to  promote 
the  blessed  reformation  begun  among  them  ;  and  to  en- 
gage those  that  appeared  serious  and  religious  to  per- 
severe therein.  Accordingly  I  proposed  to  them,  that 
they  should  renewedly  enter  into  covenant  before  God, 
that  they  would  watch  over  themselves  and  one  ano- 
ther, lest  they  should  dishonor  the  name  of  Christ  by 
falling  into  sinful  and  unbecoming  practices  ;  and  espe- 
cially that  they  would  watch  against  the  sin  of  drunk- 
enness, '  the  sin  that  easily  besets  them,'  and  the  temp- 
tations leading  thereto,  as  well  as  the  appearance  of  evil 
in  that  respect.  They  cheerfully  complied  with  the  pro- 
posal, and  explicitly  joined  in  that  covenant ;  where- 
upon I  proceeded  in  the  most  solemn  manner  of  which 
I  was  capable,  to  call  God  to  witness  respecting  their 
sacred  engagements,  and  reminded  them  of  the  great- 
ness of  the  guilt  they  would  contract  to  themselves  in 
the  violation  of  it,  as  well  as  observed  to  them  that  God 
would  be  a  terrible  witness  against  those,  who  should 
presume  to  do  so  in  the  great  and  notable  day  of  the 


248  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap-VlII. 

Lord.  It  was  a  season  of  amazing  solemnity ;  and  a 
divine  awe  appeared  upon  the  face  of  the  whole  assem- 
bly in  this  transaction.  Affectionate  sobs,  sighs  and 
tears  were  now  frequent  in  the  audience ;  and  I  doubt 
not  but  that  many  silent  cries  were  then  sent  up  to  the 
Fountain  of  grace  for  supplies  of  grace  sufficient  for 
the  fulfilment  of  these  solemn  engagements. 

Lord's  day,  May  4. — "  My  people  being  now  remov- 
ed to  their  lands,  mentioned  in  my  diary  of  March  24, 
where  they  were  then  and  have  since  been  making 
provision  for  a  compact  settlement,  in  order  to  their 
more  convenient  enjoyment  of  the  Gospel  and  other 
means  of  instruction,  as  well  as  of  the  comforts  of  life ; 
I  this  day  visited  them  ;  being  now  obliged  to  board 
with  an  English  family  at  some  distance  from  them ; 
and  preached  to  them  in  the  forenoon  from  Mark,  4 : 
5.  Endeavored  to  show  them  the  reason  there  was  to 
fear,  lest  many  promising  appearances  and  hopeful  be- 
ginnings in  religion  might  prove  abortive,  like  the 
seed  dropped  upon  stony  places. 

"  In  the  afternoon  discoursed  upon  Rom.  8:9.'  Now, 
if  any  man  have  not  the  spirit  of  Christ,  he  is  none  of 
his.'  I  have  reason  to  think  this  discourse  was  pecu- 
liarly seasonable,  and  that  it  had  a  good  effect  upon 
some  of  the  hearers.  Spent  some  hours  afterward  in 
private  conference  with  my  people,  and  labored  to  re- 
gulate some  things  which  I  apprehended  amiss  among 
some  of  them. 

May  5. — "  Visited  my  people  again,  and  took  care  ol 
their  worldly  concerns  ;  giving  them  directions  rela- 
ting to  their  business.  I  daily  discover  more  and  more 
of  what  importance  it  is  likely  to  be  to  their  religious 
interests,  that  they  become  laborious  and  industrious, 
acquainted  with  the  affairs  of  husbandry,  and  able  in  a 


1746.J  AT  CRANBERRY.  349 

good  measure  to  raise  the  necessaries  and  comforts  of 
life  within  themselves ;  for  their  present  method  of 
living  greatly  exposes  them  to  temptations  of  various 
kinds. 

May  9. — "  Preached  from  John,  5  :  40,  in  the  open 
wilderness ;  the  Indians  having  as  yet  no  house  for 
public  worship  in  this  place,  nor  scarcely  any  shelters 
for  themselves.  Divine  truths  made  considerable  im- 
pressions upon  the  audience,  and  it  was  a  season  of 
great  solemnity,  tenderness,  and  affection. 

"  This  day  received  into  communion  the  conjurer, 
murderer,  &c.  mentioned  in  my  diary  of  August  8, 
1745,  and  February  1,  1746,  who  appears  to  be  such  a 
remarkable  instance  of  divine  grace  that  I  cannot  omit 
to  give  some  brief  account  of  him  here.  He  lived  near, 
and  sometimes  attended  my  meeting  at  the  Forks  of 
Delaware,  for  more  than  a  year ;  but  was,  like  many 
others  of  them,  extremely  attached  to  strong  drink, 
and  seemed  to  be  in  no  degree  reformed  by  the  means 
which  I  used  with  them  for  their  instruction  and  con- 
version. At  this  time  he  likewise  murdered  a  likely 
young  Indian,  which  threw  him  into  some  kind  of 
horror  and  desperation,  so  that  he  kept  at  a  distance 
from  me,  and  refused  to  hear  me  preach  for  several 
months  together,  until  I  had  an  opportunity  of  con- 
versing freely  with  him,  and  giving  him  encourage- 
ment, that  his  sin  might  be  forgiven,  for  Christ's  sake. 
After  this  he  again  attended  my  meeting  sometimes. 

"  But  that  which  was  the  worst  of  all  his  conduct, 
was  his  conjuration.  He  was  one  of  those  who  are 
sometimes  called  powaws  among  the  Indians ;  and, 
notwithstanding  his  frequent  attendance  upon  my 
preaching,  he  still  followed  his  old  charms  and  jug- 
gling tricks.  '  giving  out  that  himself  was  some  great 


250  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII 

one,  and  to  him  they  gave  heed,'  supposing  him  to  be 
possessed  of  great  power.  When  I  have  instructed 
them  respecting  the  miracles  wrought  by  Christ  in 
healing  the  sick,  &c.  and  mentioned  them  as  evidence 
of  his  divine  mission,  and  the  truths  of  his  doctrine ; 
they  have  quickly  observed  the  wonders  of  that  kind 
which  this  man  had  performed  by  his  magic  charms. 
Hence  they  had  a  high  opinion  of  him  and  his  super- 
stitious notions  ;  which  seemed  to  be  a  fatal  obstruc- 
tion to  some  of  them  in  regard  to  their  receiving  the 
Gospel.  I  had  often  thought  that  it  would  be  a  great 
favor  to  the  design  of  evangelizing  these  Indians,  if 
God  would  take  that  wretch  out  of  the  world ;  for  I  had 
scarcely  any  hope  of  his  ever  becoming  good.  But 
God,  whose  thoughts  are  not  as  man's  thoughts,  has 
been  pleased  to  take  a  much  more  desirable  method 
with  him  ;  a  method  agreeable  to  his  own  merciful 
nature,  and  I  trust  advantageous  to  his  own  interest 
among  the  Indians,  as  well  as  effectual  to  the  salvation 
of  his  poor  soul.  To  God  be  the  glory  of  it. 

•l  The  first  genuine  concern  for  his  soul  was  excited 
by  seeing  my  interpreter  and  his  wife  publicly  profess 
Christ,  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  July  21,  1745  ;  which 
so  prevailed  upon  him,  that  with  the  invitation  of  an 
Indian  who  was  a  friend  to  Christianity,  he  followed 
me  down  to  Crossweeksung,  in  the  beginning  of  Au- 
gust, in  order  to  hear  me  preach ;  and  there  continued 
for  several  weeks  in  the  season  of  the  most  remarkable 
and  powerful  awakening  among  the  Indians ;  at  which 
time  he  was  more  effectually  awakened,  and  brought 
under  great  concern  for  his  soul.  And  then,  he  says, 
upon  his  '  feeling  the  word  of  God  in  his  heart,'  as  he 
expresses  it,  his  spirit  of  conjuration  left  him  entirely, 
so  that  he  has  had  no  more  power  of  that  nature  since. 


1740.  J  CONVERSION   OF   A   CONJURER.  231 

than  any  other  man  living.  He  also  declares,  that  he 
does  not  now  so  much  as  know  how  he  used  to  charm 
and  conjure,  and  that  he  could  not  now  do  any  thing 
of  that  nature  if  he  were  ever  so  desirous  of  it. 

"  He  continued  under  convictions  of  his  sinful  and 
perishing  state,  and  a  considerable  degree  of  concern 
for  his  soul,  all  the  fall  and  the  former  part  of  the  win- 
ter past ;  but  was  not  so  deeply  exercised  until  some 
time  in  January.  Then  the  word  of  God  took  such 
hold  upon  him  that  he  was  brought  into  deep  distress, 
and  knew  not  -what  to  do,  nor  where  to  turn  himself. 
He  then  told  me,  that  when  he  used  to  hear  me  preach 
from  time  to  time  in  the  fall  of  the  year,  my  preaching 
pricked  his  heart,  and  made  him  very  uneasy,  but  did 
not  bring  him  to  so  great  distress,  because  he  still 
hoped  he  could  do  something  for  his  own  relief ;  but 
now,  he  said,  I  drove  him  up  in  such  a  sharp  corner, 
that  he  had  no  way  to  turn,  and  could  not  avoid  being 
in  distress.  He  continued  constantly  under  the  heavy 
burden  and  pressure  of  a  wounded  spirit,  until  at  length 
he  was  brought  into  the  acute  anguish  and  utmost 
agony  of  soul,  mentioned  in  my  Journal  of  February 
1,  which  continued  that  night  and  part  of  the  next  day. 
After  this  he  was  brought  to  the  utmost  calmness  and 
composure  of  mind  ;  his  trembling  and  heavy  burden 
were  removed  ;  and  he  appeared  perfectly  sedate,  al- 
though he  had  to  his  apprehensions  scarcely  any  hope 
of  salvation. 

"  I  observed  him  to  appear  remarkably  composed  ; 
and  therefore  asked  him  how  he  did  ?  He  replied, 
( It  is  done,  it  is  done,  it  is  all  done  now.'  I  asked  him 
what  he  meant?  He  answered,  'I  can  never  do  any 
more  to  save  myself;  it  is  all  done  for  ever.  I  can  do 
no  more.'  I  queried  with  him,  whether  he  could  not 


252  LIFE   OF   BRAINERO.  [Chap.  VIII. 

do  a  little  more,  rather  than  go  to  hell  ?  He  replied, 
'  my  heart  is  dead.  I  can  never  help  myself.'  I  asked 
him  what  he  thought  would  become  of  him  then  ? 
He  answered, '  I  must  go  to  hell.'  I  asked  him  if  he 
thought  it  was  right  that  God  should  send  him  to  hell? 
He  replied,  'O  it  is  right.  The  devil  has  been  in  me 
ever  since  I  was  born.'  I  asked  him  if  he  felt  this  when 
he  was  in  such  great  distress  the  evening  before  ?  He 
answered,  '  No ;  I  did  not  then  think  it  was  right.  I 
thought  God  would  send  me  to  hell,  and  that  I  was 
then  dropping  into  it;  but  my  heart  quarrelled  with 
God,  and  would  not  say  it  was  right  he  should  send 
me  there.  But  now  I  know  it  is  right ;  for  I  have  al- 
ways served  the  devil ;  and  my  heart  has  no  goodness 
in  it  now,  but  it  is  as  bad  as  ever  it  was,'  &c.  I  thought 
I  had  scarcely  ever  seen  any  person  more  effectually 
brought  off  from  a  dependance  upon  his  own  contri- 
vances and  endeavors  for  salvation,  or  more  apparently 
to  lie  at  the  foot  of  sovereign  mercy,  than  this  man 
did  under  these  views  of  things. 

"  In  this  frame  of  mind  he  continued  for  several 
days,  passing  sentence  of  condemnation  upon  himself, 
and  constantly  owning  that  it  would  be  right  he  should 
be  damned,  and  that  he  expected  this  would  be  his 
portion  for  the  greatness  of  his  sins.  Yet  it  was  plain 
that  he  had  a  secret  hope  of  mercy,  though  impercep- 
tible to  himself,  which  kept  him  not  only  from  despair 
but  from  any  pressing  distress  :  so  that,  instead  of  be- 
ing sad  and  dejected,  -his  very  countenance  appeared 
pleasant  and  agreeable. 

"  While  he  was  in  this  frame  he  several  times  asked 
me  '  When  I  would  preach  again  ? '  and  seemed  de- 
sirous to  hear  the  word  of  God  every  day.  I  asked, 
'  Why  he  wanted  to  hear  me  preach,  seeing  his  heart 


1746.]  CONVERSION  OP  a  CONJURER.  253 

was  dead,  and  all  was  done ;  that  he  could  never  help 
himself,  and  expected  that  he  must  go  to  hell  ?'  He 
replied,  'I  love  to  hear  you  speak  about  Christ  for  all.' 
I  added,  '  But  what  good  will  that  do  you,  if  you  must 
go  to  hell  at  last  ?' — using  now  his  own  language  with 
him,  having  before  from  time  to  time  labored  in  the 
best  manner  I  could  to  represent  to  him  the  excellency 
of  Christ,  his  all-sufficiency  and  willingness  to  save 
lost  sinners,  and  persons  just  in  his  case;  although  to 
no  purpose,  as  to  yielding  him  any  special  comfort. 
He  answered,  '  I  would  have  others  come  to  Christ,  if 
I  must  go  to  hell  myself.'  It  was  remarkable,  that  he 
seemed  to  have  a  great  love  for  the  people  of  God ;  and 
nothing  affected  him  so  much  as  the  thought  of  being 
separated  from  them.  This  seemed  to  be  a  very  dread- 
ful part  of  the  hell  to  which  he  saw  himself  doomed. 
It  was  likewise  remarkable,  that  in  this  season  he  was 
most  diligent  in  the  use  of  all  the  means  for  the 
soul's  salvation ;  although  he  had  the  clearest  view  of 
the  inefficiency  of  means  to  afford  him  help.  He  would 
frequently  say,  that  all  he  did  signified  nothing  at  all ; 
and  yet  was  never  more  constant  in  doing ;  attending 
secret  and  family  prayer  daily,  and  surprisingly  dili- 
gent and  attentive  in  hearing  the  word  of  God  ;  so  that 
he  neither  despaired  of  mercy,  nor  yet  presumed  to 
hope  upon  his  own  doings,  but  used  means  because 
appointed  of  God  in  order  to  salvation  ;  and  because 
he  would  \vait  upon  God  in  his  own  way. 

"  After  he  had  continued  in  this  frame  of  mind  more 
than  a  week,  while  I  was  discoursing  publicly,  he 
seemed  to  have  a  lively  soul-refreshing  view  of  the 
excellency  of  Christ  and  the  way  of  salvation  by  him, 
which  melted  him  into  tears,  and  filled  him  with  ad- 
miration, comfort,  satisfaction  and  praise  to  God. 


254  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII 

TSince  then  he  has  appeared  to  be  a  humble,  devout 
and  affectionate  Christian  ;  serious  and  exemplary  in 
his  conversation  and  behavior,  frequently  complaining 
of  his  barrenness,  his  want  of  spiritual  warmth,  life 
and  activity,  and  yet  frequently  favored  with  quicken- 
ing and  refreshing  influences.  In  all  respects,  so  far 
as  I  am  capable  of  judging,  he  bears  the  marks  of 
one  'created  anew  in  Christ  Jesus  to  good  works.' 

"  His  zeal  for  the  cause  of  God  was  pleasing  to  me 
when  he  was  with  me  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  in 
February  last.  There  being  an  old  Indian  at  the  place 
where  I  preached  who  threatened  to  bewitch  me,  and 
my  religious  people  who  accompanied  me  there ;  this 
man  presently  challenged  him  to  do  his  worst,  telling 
him  that  himself  had  been  as  great  a  conjurer  as  he  ; 
and  that  notwithstanding,  as  soon  as  he  felt  that  word 
in  his  heart  which  these  people  loved,  meaning  the 
word  of  God,  his  power  of  conjuring  immediately  left 
him.  '  And  so  it  would  you,'  said  he,  '  if  you  did  but 
once  feel  it  in  your  heart ;  and  you  have  no  power  to 
hurt  them,  nor  so  much  as  to  touch  one  of  them,'  &c. 
So  that  I  may  conclude  my  account  of  him  by  observ- 
ing, in  allusion  to  what  was  said  of  St.  Paul,  that  he 
now  zealously  '  defends  and  practically  preaches  the 
faith  which  he  once  destroyed,'  or  at  least  was  instru- 
mental in  obstructing.  May  God  have  the  glory  of  the 
amazing  change  which  he  has  wrought  in  him. 

Lord's  day,  May  18. — "  Discoursed  both  parts  of  the 
day  from  Rev.  3 :  20,  '  Behold  I  stand  at  the  door  and 
knock.'  There  appeared  some  affectionate  melting 
toward  the  conclusion  of  the  forenoon  exercise,  and 
one  or  two  instances  of  fresh  awakening.  In  the  inter- 
mission of  public  worship  I  took  occasion  to  discourse 
to  numbers  in  a  more  private  way,  on  the  kindness 


1746.J  AT  CRANBERRY.  255 

and  patience  of  the  blessed  Redeemer  in  standing  and 
knocking,  in  continuing  his  gracious  calls  to  sinners, 
who  had  long  neglected  and  abused  his  grace ;  which 
seemed  to  take  some  effect  upon  several. 

"In  the  afternoon  divine  truth  was  attended  with  so- 
lemnity, and  with  some  tears ;  although  there  was  not 
that  powerful  awakening  and  quickening  influence 
which  in  times  past  has  been  common  in  our  assemblies. 
The  appearance  of  the  audience  was  comparatively  dis- 
couraging, and  I  was  ready  to  fear  that  God  was  about 
to  withdraw  the  blessed  influence  of  his  Spirit  from  us. 

May  19. — "  Visited  and  preached  to  my  people  from 
Acts,  20 : 18,  19,  and  endeavored  to  rectify  their  notions 
about  religious  affections ;  showing  them  on  the  one 
hand  the  desirableness  of  religious  affection,  tenderness 
and  fervent  engagement  in  the  worship  and  service  of 
God,  when  such  affection  flows  from  a  true  spiritual 
discovery  of  divine  glories,  from  a  just  sense  of  the 
transcendant  excellence  and  perfections  of  the  blessed 
God,  and  a  view  of  the  glory  and  loveliness  of  the 
great  Redeemer ;  and  that  such  views  of  divine  things 
will  naturally  excite  us  to  'serve  the  Lord  with  many 
tears,  with  much  affection  and  fervency,  and  yet  with 
all  humility  of  mind.'  On  the  other  hand,I  observed 
the  sinfulness  of  seeking  after  high  affections  imme- 
diately and  for  their  own  sakes;  that  is,  of  making 
them  the  object  which  our  eye  and  heart  is  first  and  prin- 
cipally set  upon,  when  the  glory  of  God  ought  to  be  that 
object.  Showed  them,that,  if  the  heart  be  directly  and 
chiefly  fixed  on  God,  and  the  soul  engaged  to  glorify 
him,  some  degree  of  religious  affection  will  be  the  ef- 
fect and  attendant  of  it.  But  to  seek  after  affection 
directly  and  chiefly ;  to  have  the  heart  principally  set 
upon  that ;  is  to  place  it  in  the  room  of  God  and  his 


»  If 

256  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIIJ. 

glory.  If  it  be  sought,  that  others  may  take  notice  of 
it,  and  admire  us  for  our  spirituality  and  forwardness 
in  religion,  it  is  then  abominable  pride ;  if  for  the  sake 
of  feeling  the  pleasure  of  being  affected,  it  is  then  idol- 
atry and  self-gratification.  Labored  also  to  expose  the 
disagreeableness  of  those  affections  which  aie  some- 
times wrought  up  in  persons  by  the  power  of  fancy,  and 
their  own  attempts  for  that  purpose,  while  I  still  en- 
deavored to  recommend  to  them  that  religious  affec- 
tion, fervency  and  devotion  which  ought  to  attend  all 
our  religious  exercises,  and  without  which  religion  will 
be  but  an  empty  name  and  lifeless  carcase.  This  ap- 
peared to  be  a  seasonable  discourse,  and  proved  very 
satisfactory  to  some  of  the  religious  people  who  before 
were  exercised  with  some  difficulties  relating  to  this 
point.  Afterward  took  care  of,  and  gave  my  people 
directions  about  their  worldly  affairs. 

May  24. — "Visited  the  Indians,  and  took  care  of 
their  secular  business  ;  which  they  are  not  able  to  man- 
age themselves  without  the  constant  care  and  advice 
of  others.  Afterward  discoursed  to  some  of  them  par- 
ticularly about  their  spiritual  concerns. — Enjoyed  this 
day  somewhat  of  the  same  frame  of  mind  which  I  felt 
the  day  before. 

Lord's  day,  May  25. — "  Discoursed  both  parts  of  the 
day  from  John,  12 : 44-48.  There  was  some  degree  of 
divine  power  attending  the  word  of  God.  Several 
wept,  and  appeared  considerably  affected,  and  one,  who 
had  long  been  under  spiritual  trouble,  now  obtained 
clearness  and  comfort,  and  appeared  to  rejoice  in  God 
her  Savior.  It  was  a  day  of  grace  and  divine  good- 
ness ;  a  day  wherein  something  I  trust  was  done  for 
the  cause  of  God  among  my  people ;  a  season  of  com- 
fort and  sweetness  to  numbers  of  the  religious  people ; 


1746.]  AT  CRANBERRY.  267 

although  there  was  not  that  influence  upon  the  con- 
gregation which  was  common  some  months  ago. 

Lord's  day,  June  1.— •'  Preached  both  forenoon  and 
afternoon  from  Matt.  11 : 27, 28.  The  presence  of  God 
seemed  to  be  in  the  assembly ;  and  numbers  were  con- 
siderably melted  and  affected  under  divine  truth.  There 
was  a  desirable  appearance  in  the  congregation  in  gene- 
ral, an  earnest  attention  and  an  agreeable  tenderness ; 
and  it  seemed  as  if  God  designed  to  visit  us  with  fur- 
ther showers  of  divine  grace.  I  then  received  into 
communion  five  persons ;  and  was  not  a  little  refreshed 
with  this  addition  made  to  the  church  of  such  as  I  hope 
will  be  saved.  I  have  reason  to  hope  that  God  has  late- 
ly, at  and  since  our  celebration  of  the  Lord's  supper, 
brought  home  to  himself  several  persons  who  had  long 
been  under  spiritual  trouble  and  concern;  although 
there  have  been  few  instances  of  persons  lately  awa- 
kened out  of  a  state  of  security.  Those  comforted  of 
late  seem  to  be  brought  in,  in  a  more  silent  way;  nei- 
ther their  concern,  nor  consolation  being  so  powerful 
and  remarkable  as  appeared  among  those  more  sudden- 
ly wrought  upon  in  the  beginning  of  this  work  of  grace. 

June  7. — "  Being  desired  by  the  Rev.  WILLIAM  TEN- 
NENT  to  be  his  assistant  in  the  administration  of  the 
Lord's  Supper,  I  this  morning  rode  to  Freehold  to  ren- 
der that  assistance.  My  people  also  being  invited  to 
attend  at  that  solemnity,  they  cheerfully  embraced  the 
opportunity,  and  this  day  attended  the  preparatory  ser- 
vices with  me. 

Lord's  day,  June  8. — "  Most  of  my  people,  who  had 
been  communicants  at  the  Lord's  table,  before  being 
present  on  this  occasion,  communed  with  others  in  the 
holy  ordinance,  at  the  desire,  and  I  trust  to  the  satis- 
faction and  comfort  of  numbers  of  God's  people,  who 

Brninord.  17 


258  LIFE   OP  BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII- 

had  longed  to  see  this  day,  and  whose  hearts  had  re- 
joiced in  this  work  of  grace  among  the  Indians,  which 
prepared  the  way  for  what  appeared  so  agreeable  at 
this  time.  Those  of  my  people  who  communed,  seem- 
ed in  general  agreeably  affected  at  the  Lord's  table, 
and  some  of  them  considerably  melted  with  the  love 
of  Christ,  although  they  were  not  so  remarkably  re- 
freshed and  feasted  at  this  time,  as  when  I  administered 
this  ordinance  to  them  in  our  own  congregation  only. 
Some  of  the  by-stamlers  were  affected  with  seeing  those 
who  had  been  'aliens  from  the  commonwealth  of  Is- 
rael, and  strangers  to  the  covenant  of  promise,'  who 
of  all  men  had  lived  '  without  hope  and  without  God 
in  the  world,'  now  brought  near  to  God,  as  his  profess- 
ing people,  by  a  solemn  and  devout  attendance  upon 
this  sacred  ordinance.  As  numbers  of  God's  people 
were  refreshed  at  this  sight,  and  thereby  excited  to 
bless  God  for  the  enlargement  of  his  kingdom  in  the. 
world ;  so  some  others,  I  was  told,  were  awakened  by 
it,  apprehending  the  danger  they  were  in  of  being 
themselves  finally  cast  out ;  while  they  saw  others 
from  the  east  and  west  preparing,  and  hopefully  pre- 
pared in  some  good  measure,  to  sit  down  in  the  king- 
dom of  God.  At  this  season  others  of  my  people  also, 
who  were  not  communicants,  were  considerably  affect- 
ed; convictions  were  revived  in  several  instances;  and 
one,  the  man  particularly  mentioned  in  my  journal  of 
the  6th  instant,  obtained  comfort  and  satisfaction ;  and 
has  since  given  me  such  an  account  of  his  spiritual 
exercises,  and  the  manner  in  which  he  obtained  relief, 
as  appears  very  hopeful.  It  seems  as  if  He,  who  com- 
manded the  light  to  shine  out  of  darkness,  had  now 
'shined  into  his  heart,  and  given  him  the  light  of,'  and 


1746.  J  AT  CRANBERRY.  259 

experimental  '  knowledge  of  the  glory  of  God  in  the 
face  of  Jesus  Christ.' 

June  9. — "A  considerable  number  of  my  people  met 
together  early  in  a  retired  place  in  the  woods,  and 
prayed,  sang,  and  conversed  of  divine  things ;  and  were 
seen  by  some  religious  persons  of  the  white  people  to 
be  affected  and  engaged,  and  some  of  them  in  tears  in 
these  religious  exercises. 

"After  they  had  attended  the  concluding  exercises 
of  the  Lord's  Supper  they  returned  home;  many  of 
them  rejoicing  for  all  the  goodness  of  God  which  they 
had  seen  and  felt:  so  that  this  appeared  to  be  a  profit- 
able as  well  as  comfortable  season  to  numbers  of  my 
congregation.  Their  being  present  at  this  occasion, 
and  a  number  of  them  communing  at  the  Lord's  table 
with  other  Christians,  was,  I  trust,  for  the  honor  of 
God  and  the  interest  of  religion  in  these  parts;  as  num- 
bers, I  have  reason  to  think,  were  quickened  by  means 
of  it. 

June  13. — "Preached  to  my  ..people  upon  the  new 
creature,  from  2  Cor.  5 : 17.  The  presence  of  God  ap- 
peared to  be  in  the  assembly.  It  was  a  sweet  and 
agreeable  meeting,  wherein  the  people  of  God  were 
refreshed  and  strengthened;  beholding  their  faces  in 
the  glass  of  God's  word,  and  finding  in  themselves  the 
marks  and  lineaments  of  the  new  creature.  Some  sin- 
ners under  concern  were  also  renewedly  affected ;  and 
afresh  engaged  for  the  securing  of  their  eternal  in- 
terests. 

"  Three  Indians  were  at  this  time  received  into  com- 
munion. One  of  them  was  the  very  aged  woman  of 
whose  exercises  I  gave  an  account  in  my  diary  of  Dec. 
26.  She  now  gave  me  a  very  punctual,  rational,  and 
satisfactory  account  of  the  remarkable  change  which 


260  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

she  experienced  some  months  after  the  beginning  of 
her  concern,  which  I  must  say,  appeared  to  be  the  ge- 
nuine operations  of  the  Divine  Spirit,  so  far  as  I  am  ca- 
pable of  judging.  Although  she  was  become  so  child- 
ish, through  age,  that  I  could  do  nothing  in  a  way  of 
questioning  her,  nor  scarcely  make  her  understand  any 
thing  that  I  asked  her ;  yet  when  I  let  her  alone  to  go 
on  with  her  own  story,  she  could  give  a  very  dis- 
tinct and  particular  relation  of  the  many  and  various 
exercises  of  soul  she  had  experienced ;  so  deep  were 
the  impressions  left  upon  her  mind  by  that  influence 
and  those  exercises  which  she  had  experienced.  I 
have  great  reason  to  think  that  she  is  born  anew  in  her 
old  age:  she  being,  I  presume,  upward  of  eighty. 

June  19. — "  Visited  my  people  with  two  of  the  Reve- 
rend correspondents.  Spent  some  time  in  conversation 
with  some  of  them  upon  spiritual  things ;  and  took 
some  care  of  their  worldly  concerns. 

"  This  day  makes  up  a  complete  year  from  the  first 
time  of  my  preaching  to  these  Indians  in  New-Jersey. 
What  amazing  things  has  God  wrought,  in  this  space 
of  time,  for  this  poor  people !  What  a  surprising  change 
appears  in  their  tempers  and  behavior !  How  are  mo- 
rose and  savage  Pagans,  in  this  short  period,  transform- 
ed into  agreeable,  affectionate,  and  humble  Christians! 
and  their  drunken  and  Pagan  bowlings  turned  into  de- 
vout and  fervent  praises  to  God!  They  'who  were 
sometimes  in  darkness  are  now  become  light  in  the 
Lord.'  May  they  '  walk  as  children  of  the  light  and 
of  the  day !'  And  now  to  Him  that  is  of  power  to  es- 
tablish them  according  to  the  gospel,  and  the  preach- 
ing of  Christ — to  God  only  wise,  be  glory  through  Je- 
sus Christ,  for  ever  and  ever,  Amen." 


GENERAL  REMARKS 
ON    THE    PRECEDING      NARRATIVE. 

"A'r  the  close  of  this  Narrative  I  would  make  a  few 
GENERAL  REMARKS  upon  what,  to  me,  appears  worthy 
of  notice,  relating  to  the  continued  work  of  grace  a 
mong  my  people. 

I."I  cannot  but  take  notice,  that  I  have  in  general, 
ever  since  my  first  coming  among  the  Indians  in  New- 
Jersey,  been  favored  with  that  assistance  which  to  me 
is  uncommon,  in  preaching  Christ  crucified,  and  ma- 
king him  the  centre  and  mark  to  which  all  my  dis- 
courses among  them  were  directed. 

"It  was  the  principal  scope  and  drift  of  all  my  dis- 
courses to  this  people,  for  several  months  together, 
(after  having  taught  them  something  of  the  being  and 
perfections  of  God,  his  creation  of  man  in  a  state  of 
rectitude  and  happiness,  and  the  obligations  mankind 
were  thence  under  to  love  and  honor  him,)  to  lead 
them  into  an  acquaintance  with  their  deplorable  state 
by  nature,  as  fallen  creatures ;  their  inability  to  extri- 
cate and  deliver  themselves  from  it;  the  utter  insuf- 
ficiency of  any  external  reformations  and  amendments 
of  life,  or  of  any  religious  performances,  of  which  they 
were  capable,  while  in  this  state,  to  bring  them  into  the 
favor  of  God,  and  interest  them  in  his  eternal  mercy; 
thence  to  show  them  their  absolute  need  of  Christ  to 
redeem  and  save  them  from  the  misery  of  their  fallen 
state; — to  open  his  all-sufficiency  and  willingness  to 
save  the  chief  of  sinners; — the  freeness  and  riches  of 
divine  grace,  proposed  'without  money,  and  without 
price,'  to  all  that  will  accept  the  offer;  thereupon  to 
press  them  without  delay  to  betake  themselves  to  him, 


262  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  |  Chap.  VIII. 

under  a  sense  of  their  misery  and  undone  state,  for  re- 
lief and  everlasting  salvation; — and  to  show  them  the 
abundant  encouragement  the  gospel  proposes  to  needy, 
perishing,  and  helpless  sinners,  in  order  to  engage  them 
so  to  do.  These  things,  I  repeatedly  and  largely  insist- 
ed upon  from  time  to  time. 

"I  have  oftentimes  remarked  with  admiration,  that 
whatever  subject  I  have  been  treating  upon,  after  hav- 
ing spent  time  sufficient  to  explain  and  illustrate  the 
truths  contained  therein,  I  have  been  naturally  and 
easily  led  to  Christ  as  the  substance  of  every  subject. 
If  I  treated  on  the  being  and  glorious  perfections  of 
God ;  I  was  thence  naturally  led  to  discourse  of  Christ, 
as  the  only  'way  to  the  Father.' — If  I  attempted  to 
open  the  deplorable  misery  of  our  fallen  state;  it  was 
natural  from  thence  to  show  the  necessity  of  Christ  to 
undertake  for  us,  to  atone  for  our  sins,  and  to  redeem 
us  from  the  power  of  them. — If  I  taught  the  commands 
of  God,  and  showed  our  violation  of  them ;  this  brought 
me,  in  the  most  easy  and  natural  way,  to  speak  of,  and 
recommend  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  as  one  who  had 
'magnified  the  law'  which  we  had  broken,  and  who 
was  'become  the  end  of  it,  for  righteousness,  to  every 
one  that  believes.'  Never  did  I  find  so  much  freedom 
and  assistance  in  making  all  the  various  lines  of  my 
discourses  meet' together,  and  centre  in  Christ,  as  I 
have  frequently  done  among  these  Indians. 

"Sometimes  when  I  have  had  thoughts  of  offering 
but  a  few  words  upon  some  particular  subject,  and  saw 
no  occasion,  nor  indeed  much  room,  for  any  considera- 
ble enlargement,  there  has  appeared  such  a  fountain 
of  gospel- grace  shining  forth  in,  or  naturally  resulting 
from  a  just  explication  of  it;  and  Christ  has  seemed 
in  such  a  manner  to  be  pointed  out  as  the  substance 


1746.  I  GENERAL    REMARKS.  263 

of  what  I  was  considering  and  explaining;  that  I  have 
been  drawn  in  a  way  not  only  easy  and  natural,  proper 
and  pertinent,  but  almost  unavoidable,  to  discourse  of 
him,  either  in  regard  to  his  undertaking,  incarnation, 
satisfaction,  admirable  fitness  for  the  work  of  man's  re- 
demption, or  the  infinite  need  that  sinners  stand  in  of 
an  interest  in  him ;  which  has  opened  the  way  for  a 
continued  strain  of  gospel  invitation  to  perishing  souls, 
to  come  empty  and  naked,  weary  and  heavy  laden,  and 
cast  themselves  upon  him. 

"As  I  have  been  remarkably  influenced  and  assisted 
to  dwell  upon  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  and  the  way  of 
salvation  by  him,  in  the  general  current  of  my  discours- 
es here,  and  have  been,  at  times,  surprisingly  furnish- 
ed with  pertinent  matter  relating  to  him,  and  the  de- 
sign of  his  incarnation;  so  I  have  been  no  less  assisted 
oftentimes  in  an  advantageous  manner  of  opening  the 
mysteries  of  divine  grace,  and  representing  the  infinite 
excellencies,  and  'unsearchable  riches  of  Christ,'  as 
well  as  of  recommending  him  to  the  acceptance  of 
perishing  sinners.  I  have  frequently  been  enabled  to 
represent  the  divine  glory,  the  infinite  preciousness 
and  transceudant  loveliness  of  the  great  Redeemer,  the 
suitableness  of  his  person  and  purchase  to  supply  the 
wants,  and  answer  the  utmost  desires  of  immortal  souls; 
— to  open  the  infinite  riches  of  his  grace,  and  the  won- 
derful encouragement  proposed  in  the  gospel  to  un- 
worthy, helpless  sinners; — to  call,  invite,  and  beseech 
them  to  come  and  give  up  themselves  to  him,  and  be 
reconciled  to  God  through  him ; — to  expostulate  with 
them  respecting  their  neglect  of  one  so  infinitely  love- 
ly, and  freely  offered ; — and  this  in  such  a  manner,  with 
such  freedom,  pertinency,  pathos,  and  application  to 
the  conscience,  as,  I  am  sure,  I  never  could  have  made 


264  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

myself  master  of,  by  the  most  assiduous  application  of 
mind.  Frequently,  at  such  seasons,  I  have  been  sur- 
prisingly helped  in  adapting  my  discourses  to  the  ca- 
pacities of  my  people,  and  bringing  them  down  into 
such  easy,  and  familiar  methods  of  expression,  as  has 
rendered  them  intelligible  even  to  Pagans. 

"  I  do  not  mention  these  things  as  a  recommendation 
of  my  own  performances;  for  I  am  sure  I  found,  from 
time  to  time,  that  I  had  no  skill  or  wisdom  for  my 
great  work ;  and  knew  not  how  '  to  choose  out  accept- 
able words '  proper  to  address  to  poor  benighted  Pa- 
gans. But  thus  God  was  pleased  to  help  me,  '  not  to 
know  any  thing  among  them,  save  Jesus  Christ  and 
him  crucified.'  Thus  I  was  enabled  to  show  them 
their  misery  without  him,  and  to  represent  his  com- 
plete fitness  to  redeem  and  save  them. 
"This  was  the  preaching  God  made  use  of  for  awaken- 
ing sinners,  and  the  propagation  of  this  'work  of  grace 
among  the  Indians.'  It  was  remarkable,  from  time 
to  time,  that  when  I  was  favored  with  any  special  free- 
dom, in  discoursing  of  the  '  ability  and  willingness  ol 
Christ  to  save  sinners,'  and  '  the  need  in  which  they 
stood  of  such  a  Savior;'  there  was  then  the  greatest 
appearance  of  divine  power  in  awakening  numbers  of 
secure  souls,  promoting  convictions  begun,  and  com- 
forting the  distressed. 

"  I  have  sometimes  formerly,  in  reading  the  Apostle's 
discourse  to  Cornelius,  (Acts,  10,)wondered  to  see  him 
so  quickly  introduce  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  into  his  ser- 
mon, and  so  entirely  dwell  upon  him  through  the  whole 
cf  it,  observing  him  in  this  point  very  widely  to  differ 
from  many  of  our  modern  preachers;  but  latterly  this 
has  not  seemed  strange,  since  Christ  has  appeared  to 
be  the  substance  of  the  gospel  and  the  centre  in  which 


1746.]  GENERAL  REMARKS.  265 

the  several  lines  of  divine  revelation  meet.  Still  I  am 
sensible  that  there  are  many  things  necessary  to  be  spo- 
ken to  persons  under  Pagan  darkness,  in  order  to  make 
way  for  a  proper  introduction  of  the  name  of  Christ, 
and  his  undertaking  in  behalf  of  fallen  man. 

II.  "  It  is  worthy  of  remark,  that  numbers  of  these 
people  are  brought  to  a  strict  compliance  with  the  rules 
of  morality  and  sobriety,  and  to  a  conscientious  per- 
formance of  the  external  duties  of  Christianity,  by  the 
internal  power  and  influence  of  divine  truth — the  pecu- 
liar doctrines  of  grace  upon  their  minds;  without  their 
having  these  moral  duties  frequently  repeated  and  in- 
culcated upon  them,  and  the  contrary  vices  particularly 
exposed  and  spoken  against.  What  has  been  the  gene- 
ral strain  and  drift  of  my  preaching  among  these  In- 
dians, what  were  the  truths  I  principally  insisted  upon, 
and  how  I  was  influenced  and  enabled  to  dwell  from 
time  to  time,  upon  the  peculiar  doctrines  of  grace,  I 
have  already  stated.  Those  doctrines,  which  had  the 
most  direct  tendency  to  humble  the  fallen  creature; 
to  show  him  the  misery  of  his  natural  state;  to  bring 
him  down  to  the  foot  of  sovereign  mercy,  and  to  exalt 
the  great  Redeemer — discover  his  transcendant  excel- 
lency and  infinite  preciousness,  and  so  recommend  him 
to  the  sinner's  acceptance — were  the  subject-matter  of 
what  was  delivered  in  public  and  private  to  them,  and 
from  time  to  time  repeated  and  inculcated. 

"  God  was  pleased  to  give  these  divine  truths  such 
a  powerful  influence  upon  the  minds  of  these  people, 
and  so  to  bless  them  for  the  effectual  awakening  of 
numbers  of  them,  that  their  lives  were  quickly  reform- 
ed, without  my  insisting  upon  the  precepts  of  morali- 
ty, and  spending  time  in  repeated  harangues  upon  ex- 
ternal duties.  There  was  indeed  no  room  for  any  kind 


260  LIFE    OP   ERAINERD.  [Chap.VIIl. 

of  discourses  but  those  which  respected  the  essentials 
of  religion,  and  the  experimental  knowledge  of  divine 
things,  while  there  were  so  many  inquiring  daily — not 
how  they  should  regulate  their  external  conduct,  for 
that,  persons  who  are  honestly  disposed  to  comply  with 
duty,  when  known,  may  in  ordinary  cases  be  easily 
satisfied  about,  but — how  they  should  escape  from  the 
wrath  they  feared,  and  felt  that  they  deserved, — obtain 
an  effectual  change  of  heart, — get  an  interest  in  Christ,- 
— and  come  to  the  enjoyment  of  eternal  blessedness? 
So  that  my  great  work  still  was  to  lead  them  into  a 
further  view  of  their  utter  undoneness  in  themselves, 
the  total  depravity  and  corruption  of  their  hearts ;  that 
there  was  no  manner  of  goodness  in  them ;  no  good 
dispositions  nor  desires ;  no  love  to  God,  nor  delight 
in  his  commands ;  but,  on  the  contrary,  hatred,  enmity, 
and  all  manner  of  wickedness  reigning  in  them  : — and 
at  the  same  time  to  open  to  them  the  glorious  and  com- 
plete remedy  provided  in  Christ  for  perishing  sinners, 
and  offered  freely  to  those  who  have  no  goodness  of 
their  own,  no  works  of  righteousness  which  they  have 
done,  to  recommend  them  to  God. 

"  This  was  the  continued  strain  of  my  preaching ; 
this  my  great  concern  and  constant  endeavor,  so  to  en- 
lighten the  mind,  as  thereby  duly  to  affect  the  heart, 
and,  as  far  as  possible,  give  persons  a  sense  andfeeling 
of  these  precious  and  important  doctrines  of  grace,  at 
least  so  far  as  means  might  conduce  to  it.  These  were 
the  doctrines,  and  this  the  method  of  preaching,  which 
were  blessed  of  God  for  the  awakening,  and  I  trust, 
the  saving  conversion  of  numbers  of  souls ;  and  which 
were  made  the  means  of  producing  a  remarkable  re- 
formation among  the  hearers  in  general. 

"  When  these  truths  were  felt  at  heart,  there  was 


1746.]  GENERAL   REMARKS.  267 

new  no  vice  imreformed — no  external  duty  neglected. 
Drunkenness,  the  darling  vice,  was  broken  off,  and 
scarce  an  instance  of  it  known  among  my  hearers  for 
months  together.  The  abusive  practice  of  husbands 
and  wives  in  putting  away  each  other,  and  taking  others 
in  their  stead,  was  quickly  reformed ;  so  that  there  are 
three  or  four  couples  who  have  voluntarily  dismissed 
those  whom  they  had  wrongfully  taken,  and  now 
live  together  again  in  love  and  peace.  The  same 
might  be  said  of  all  other  vicious  practices.  The  re- 
formation was  general ;  and  all  springing  from  the  in 
ternal  influence  of  divine  truth  upon  their  hearts,  and 
not  from  any  external  restraints,  or  because  they  had 
heard  these  vices  particularly  exposed,  and  repeatedly 
spoken  against.  Some  of  them  I  never  so  much  as 
mentioned ;  particularly  that  of  the  parting  of  men 
and  their  wives,  till  some,  having  their  conscience 
awakened  by  God's  word,  came,  and  of  their  men 
accord  confessed  themselves  guilty  in  that  respect. 
When  I  at  any  time  mentioned  their  wicked  practices, 
and  the  sins  they  were  guilty  of  contrary  to  the  light 
of  nature,  it  was  not  with  a  design,  nor  indeed  with  any 
hope,  of  working  an  effectual  reformation  in  their  ex- 
ternal manners  by  this  means,  for  I  knew,  that  while 
the  tree  remained  corrupt,  the  fruit  would  naturally  be 
so.  My  design  was  to  lead  them,  by  observing  the 
wickedness  of  their  lives,  to  a  view  of  the  corruption 
of  their  hearts,  and  so  to  convince  them  of  the  neces- 
sity of  a  renovation  of  nature,  and  to  excite  them,  with 
the  utmost  diligence  to  seek  after  that  great  change, 
which,  if  once  obtained,  I  was  sensible,  would  of  course 
produce  a  reformation  of  external  manners  in  every 
respect. 
"And  as  all  vice  was  reformed  upon  their  feeling  the 


268  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VII 1. 

power  of  these  truths  upon  their  hearts,  so  the  external 
duties  of  Christianity  were  complied  with,  and  con- 
scientiously performed  from  the  same  internal  influ- 
ence ;  family  prayer  set  up,  and  constantly  maintained, 
unless  among  a  few  who  had  more  lately  come,  and 
had  felt  little  of  this  divine  influence.  This  duty  was 
constantly  performed,  even  in  some  families  where 
there  were  none  but  females,  and  scarce  a  prayerless 
person  was  to  be  found  among  near  an  hundred  ol 
them.  The  Sabbath  was  seriously  and  religiously  ob- 
served, and  care  taken  by  parents  to  keep  their  children 
orderly  upon  that  sacred  day ;  and  this,  not  because  I 
had  driven  them  to  the  performance  of  these  duties 
by  frequently  inculcating  them,  but  because  they  had 
felt  the  power  of  God's  word  upon  their  hearts, — were 
made  sensible  of  their  sin  and  misery,  and  thence  could 
not  but  pray,  and  comply  with  every  thing  which  they 
knew  to  be  their  duty,  from  what  they  felt  within  them- 
selves. When  their  hearts  were  touched  with  a  sense 
of  their  eternal  concerns,  they  could  pray  with  great 
freedom,  as  well  as  fervency,  without  being  at  the  trou- 
ble first  to  learn  set  forms  for  that  purpose.  Some  of 
them,  who  were  suddenly  awakened  at  their  first  com- 
ing among  us,  were  brought  to  pray  and  cry  for  mercy 
with  the  utmost  importunity,  without  ever  being  in- 
structed in  the  duty  of  prayer,  or  so  much  as  once  di- 
rected to  a  performance  of  it. 

"The  happy  effects  of  these  peculiar  doctrines  of 
grace  upon  this  people,  show,  even  to  demonstration, 
that,  instead  of  their  opening  a  door  to  licentiousness, 
as  many  vainly  imagine,  and  slanderously  insinuate, 
they  have  a  directly  contrary  tendency ;  so  that  a  close 
application,  a  sense  and  feeling  of  them,  will  have  the 
most  powerful  influence  toward  the  renovation,  and 
effectual  reformation  both  of  heart  and  life. 


1746.]  GENERAL   REMARKS.  269 

"Happy  experience,  as  well  as  the  word  of  God  and 
the  example  of  Christ  and  his  apostles,  has  taught  me, 
that  the  very  method  of  preaching  which  is  best  suit- 
ed to,  awaken  in  mankind  a  sense  and  lively  appre- 
hension of  their  depravity  and  misery  in  a  fallen  state, 
— to  excite  them  so  earnestly  to  seek  after  a  change  of 
heart,  as  to  fly  for  refuge  to  free  and  sovereign  grace 
in  Christ  as  the  only  hope  set  before  them, — is  likely 
to  be  most  successful  in  the  reformation  of  their  exter- 
nal conduct.  I  have  found  that  close  addresses,  and 
solemn  applications  of  divine  truth  to  the  conscience, 
strike  at  the  root  of  all  vice ;  while  smooth  and  plau- 
sible harangues  upon  moral  virtues  and  external  du- 
ties, at  best  are  like  to  do  no  more  than  lop  off  the  branch- 
es of  corruption,  while  the  root  of  all  vice  remains  still 
untouched. 

"A  view  of  the  blessed  effect  of  honest  endeavors 
lo  bring  home  divine  truths  to  the  conscience,  and  duly 
to  affect  the  heart  with  them,  has  often  reminded  me 
of  those  words  of  our  Lord,  which  I  have  thought 
might  be  a  proper  exhortation  for  ministers  in  respect 
to  their  treatment  of  others,  as  well  as  for  persons  in 
general  with  regard  to  themselves.  '  Cleanse  first  the 
inside  of  the  cup  and  platter,  that  the  outside  may  be 
clean  also.'  Cleanse,  says  he,  the  inside  that  the  out- 
side may  be  clean.  As  if  he  had  said,  the  only  effec- 
tual way  to  have  the  outside  clean,  is  to  begin  with 
what  is  within ;  and  if  the  fountain  be  purified,  the 
streams  will  naturally  be  pure.  Most  certain  it  is,  if  we 
can  awaken  in  sinners  a  lively  sense  of  their  inward 
pollution  and  depravity — their  need  of  a  change  of 
heart — and  so  engage  them  to  seek  after  inward  clean- 
sing, their  external  defilement  will  naturally  be 
cleansed,  their  vicious  ways  of  course  be  reformed 


270  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII 

and  their  conversation  and  behavior  become  regular. 

"Now,  although  I  cannot  pretend  that  the  reforma- 
tion among  my  people  does,  in  every  instance,  spring 
from  a  saving  change  of  heart ;  yet  I  may  truly  say, 
it  flows  from  some  heart-affecting  view  and  sense  of 
divine  truths  which  all  have  had  in  a  greater  or  less 
degree.  I  do  not  intend,  by  what  I  have  observed  here, 
to  represent  the  preaching  of  morality  and  pressing 
persons  to  the  external  performance  of  duty,  to  be  al- 
together unnecessary  and  useless,  especially  at  times 
when  there  is  less  of  divine  power  attending  the  means 
of  grace,  when,  for  want  of  internal  influences,  there 
is  need  of  external  restraints.  It  is  doubtless  among 
thte  things  that  ought  to  be  done,  while  others  are  not 
to  be  left  undone.  But  what  I  principally  designed  by 
this  remark,  was  to  discover  a  plain  matter  of  fact,  viz. 
That  the  reformation,  the  sobriety,  and  the  external 
compliance  with  the  rules  and  duties  of  Christianity, 
appearing  among  my  people,  are  not  the  effect  of  any 
mere  doctrinal  instruction,  or  merely  rational  view  of 
the  beauty  of  morality,  but  from  the  internal  power 
and  influence  which  the  soul-humbling  doctrines  of 
grace  have  had  upon  their  hearts. 

III.  "  It  is  remarkable,  that  God  has  so  continued  and 
renewed  the  showers  of  his  grace  here ;  so  quickly  set 
up  his  visible  kingdom  among  these  people;  and  so 
smiled  upon  them  in  relation  to  their  acquirement  of 
knowledge,  both  divine  and  human.  It  is  now  nearly 
a  year  since  the  beginning  of  this  gracious  outpouring 
of  the  divine  Spirit  among  them  ;  and  although  it  haa 
often  seemed  to  decline  and  abate  for  some  short  space 
of  time — as  may  be  observed  by  several  passages  of 
my  Journal,  where  I  have  endeavored  to  note  things 
lust  as  from  time  to  time  they  appeared  to  me — yet 


1746.]  GENERAL  REMARKS.  271 

the  shower  has  seemed  to  be  renewed,  and  the  work 
of  grace  revived  again.  A  divine  influence  seems  still 
apparently  to  attend  the  means  of  grace,  in  a  greater 
or  less  degree,  in  most  of  our  meetings  for  religious 
exercises ;  whereby  religious  persons  are  refreshed, 
strengthened,  and  established, — convictions  revived  and 
promoted  in  many  instances,  and  some  few  persons 
newly  awakened  from  time  to  time.  It  must  be  ac- 
knowledged, that  for  some  time  past  there  has,  in  gen- 
eral, appeared  a  more  manifest  decline  of  this  work  ; 
and  the  divine  Spirit  has  seemed,  in  a  considerable 
measure,  withdrawn,  especially  with  regard  to  his  awa- 
kening influence ;  so  that  the  strangers  who  come  lat- 
terly, are  not  seized  with  concern  as  formerly ;  and 
some  few  who  have  been  much  affected  with  divine 
truths  in  time  past,  now  appear  less  concerned.  Yet, 
blessed  be  God,  there  is  still  an  appearance  of  divine 
power  and  grace,  a  desirable  degree  of  tenderness,  re- 
ligious affection  and  devotion  in  our  assemblies. 

"As  God  has  continued  and  renewed  the  showers 
of  his  grace  among  this  people  for  some  time,  so  he 
has  with  uncommon  quickness  set  up  his  visible  king- 
dom, and  gathered  himself  a  church  in  the  midst  of 
them.  Fifteen  individuals,  since  the  conclusion  of  my 
last  Journal,  have  made  a  public  profession  of  their 
faith,  making  thirty-eight  within  the  space  of  eleven 
months,  all  of  whom  appear  to  have  had  a  work  of 
special  grace  wrought  in  their  hearts;  I  mean,  to  have 
had  the  experience  not  only  of  the  awakening,  but,  in 
a  judgment  of  charity,  of  the  renewing  influences  of 
the  divine  Spirit.  There  are  many  others  under  so- 
lemn concern  for  their  souls,  and  deep  convictions  of 
their  sin  and  misery,  but  who  do  not  yet  give  that  deci- 
sive evidence  which  could  be  desired,  of  a  saving  change. 


r 

272  UFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII- 

"From  the  time  when,  as  I  am  informed,  some  of 
them  were  attending  an  idolatrous  feast  and  sacrifice 
in  honor  to  devils,  to  the  time  when  they  sat  down  at 
the  Lord's  table,  I  trust  to  the  honor  of  God,  was  not 
more  than  a.fidl  year.  Surely  Christ's  little  flock  here, 
so  suddenly  gathered  from  among  Pagans,  may  justly 
say,  in  the  language  of  the  church  of  old,  'The  Lord 
hath  done  great  things  for  us,  whereof  we  are  glad.' 

"Much  of  the  goodness  of  God  has  also  appeared  in 
relation  to  their  acquisition  of  knowledge,  both  in  reli- 
gion and  in  the  affairs  of  common  life.  There  has 
been  a  wonderful  thirst  after  Christian  knowledge  pre- 
vailing among  them  in  general,  and  an  eager  desire  of 
being  instructed  in  Christian  doctrines  and  manners. 
This  has  prompted  them  to  ask  many  pertinent  as  well 
as  important  questions;  the  answers  to  which  have 
tended  much  to  enlighten  their  minds  and  promote 
their  knowledge  in  divine  things.  Many  of  the  doc- 
trines which  I  have  delivered,  they  have  queried  with 
me  about,  in  order  to  gain  further  light  and  insight  into 
them ;  and  have  from  time  to  time  manifested  a  good 
understanding  of  them,  by  their  answers  to  the  ques- 
tions proposed  to  them  in  my  catechetical  lectures. 

"They  have  likewise  queried  with  me  respecting  a 
proper  method,  as  well  as  proper  matter  of  prayer,  and 
expressions  suitable  to  be  used  in  that  religious  exer- 
cise ;  and  have  taken  pains  in  order  to  the  perform- 
ance of  this  duty  with  understanding. — They  have 
likewise  taken  pains,  and  appeared  remarkably  apt  in 
learning  to  sing  psalm-tunes,  and  are  now  able  to  sing 
with  a  good  degree  of  decency  in  the  worship  of  God, 
— They  have  also  acquired  a  considerable  degree  of 
useful  knowledge  in  the  affairs  of  common  life ;  so  that 
they  now  appear  like  rational  creatures,  fit  for  human 


1746.]  GENERAL  REMARKS.  273 

society,  free  of  that  savage  roughness  and  brutish  stu- 
pidity which  rendered  them  very  disagreeable  in  their 
Pagan  state. 

"  They  seem  ambitious  of  a  thorough  acquaintance 
with  the  English  language,  and  for  that  end  frequently 
speak  it  among  themselves.  Many  of  them  have  made 
good  proficiency  in  acquiring  it,  since  my  coming 
among  them ;  so  that  most  of  them  can  understand  a 
considerable  part,  and  some  the  substance  of  my  dis- 
courses, without  an  Interpreter,  being  used  to  my  sim- 
ple and  familiar  methods  of  expression,  though  they 
could  not  well  understand  other  ministers. 

"As  they  are  desirous  of  instruction,  and  surprising- 
ly apt  in  the  reception  of  it,  so  divine  Providence  has 
smiled  upon  them  with  regard  to  the  proper  means  in 
order  to  it.  The  attempts  made  for  establishing  a  school 
among  them  have  succeeded,  and  a  kind  Providence 
has  sent  them  a  schoolmaster,  of  whom  I  may  justly 
say,  I  know  of  'no  man  like  minded,  who  will  naturally 
care  for  their  state.'  He  has  generally  thirty  or  thirty- 
five  children  in  his  school;  and  when  he  kept  an  even- 
ing school,  as  he  did  while  the  length  of  the 'evenings 
would  admit  of  it,  fifteen  or  twenty  grown  people,  mar- 
ried and  single,  attended. 

"  The  children  learn  with  surprising  readiness ;  so 
that  their  master  tells  me,  he  never  had  an  English 
school  which  learned,  in  general,  so  fast.  There  were 
not  above  two  in  thirty,  although  some  of  them  were 
very  small,  but  learned  all  the  letters  in  the  alphabet 
within  three  days  after  his  entrance  upon  his  business; 
and  several  in  that  space  of  time  learned  to  spell  con- 
siderably. Some  of  them,  in  less  than  five  months, 
have  learned  to  read  with  ease  in  the  Psalter  or  Tes- 
tament. 

Braincrd.  18 


274  LIKE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  VIII. 

"They  are  instructed  twice  a  week  in  the  Catechism, 
on  Wednesday  and  Saturday.  Some  of  them,  since 
the  latter  end  of  February,  when  they  began,  have 
committed  more  than  half  of  it  to  memory;  and  most 
of  them  have  made  some  proficiency  in  it. 

"  They  are  likewise  instructed  in  the  duty  of  secret 
prayer,  and  most  of  them  constantly  attend  it  night 
and  morning,  and  are  very  careful  to  inform  their  mas- 
ter, if  they  apprehend  that  any  of  their  little  school- 
mates neglect  that  religious  exercise. 

IV.  "It  is  worthy  to  be  noted,  to  the  praise  of  sove- 
reign grace,  that  amidst  so  great  a  work  of  conviction 
— so  much  concern  and  religious  affection — there  has 
been  no  prevalence,  nor  indeed  any  considerable  appear- 
ance of  false  religion — heats  of  imagination,  intempe- 
rate zeal,  or  spiritual  pride;  and  that  there  have  been 
very  few  instances  of  irregular  and  scandalous  beha- 
vior among  those  who  have  appeared  serious. 

"This  work  of  grace  has,  in  the  main,  been  carried 
on  with  a  surprising  degree  of  purity,  and  freedom 
from  corrupt  mixture.  Their  religious  concern  has 
generally  been  rational  and  just;  arising  from  a  sense 
of  their  sins,  and  exposure  to  the  divine  displeasure  on 
account  of  them;  as  well  as  their  utter  inability  to  de- 
liver themselves  from  the  misery  they  felt  and  feared. 
If  there  has  been,  in  any  instance,  an  appearance  of 
concern  and  perturbation  of  mind,  when  the  subjects  of 
it  knew  not  why;  yet  there  has  been  no  prevalence  of 
any  such  thing;  and  indeed  I  scarcely  know  of  any 
instance  of  that  nature  at  all. — It  is  very  remarkable, 
that,  although  the  concern  of  many  persons  under  con- 
victions of  their  perishing  state  has  been  very  great 
and  pressing,  yet  I  have  never  seen  any  thing  like  des- 
peration attending  it  in  any  one  instance.  They  have 


1746.]  GENERAL   REMARKS.  275 

had  the  most  lively  sense  of  their  undoneness  in  them- 
selves; have  been  brought  to  give  up  all  hopes  of  de- 
liverance from  themselves;  have  experienced  great  dis- 
tress and  anguish  of  soul;  and  yet,  in  the  seasons  of 
the  greatest  extremity,  there  has  been  no  appearance 
of  despair  in  any  of  them, — nothing  that  has  discou- 
raged, or  in  any  wise  hindered  them  from  the  most  dili- 
gent use  of  all  proper  means  for  their  conversion  and 
salvation.  Hence  it  is  apparent,  that  there  is  not  that 
danger  of  persons  being  driven  into  despair  under  spi- 
ritual trouble,  unless  in  cases  of  deep  and  habitual  me- 
lancholy, which  the  world  in  general  is  ready  to 
imagine. 

"The  comfort  which  persons  have  obtained  after 
their  distresses,  has  likewise  in  general  appeared  solid, 
well  grounded,  and  scriptural ;  arising  from  a  spiritual 
and  supernatural  illumination  of  mind, — a  view  of  di- 
vine things,  in  a  measure,  as  they  are, — a  complacency 
of  soul  in  the  divine  perfections, — and  a  peculiar  satis- 
faction in  the  way  of  salvation  by  free  sovereign  grace 
in  the  great  Redeemer. 

"Their  joys  have  seemed  to  rise  from  a  variety  of 
views  and  considerations  of  divine  things,  although  for 
substance  the  same.  Some,  who,  under  conviction, 
seemed  to  have  the  hardest  struggles  and  heart-risings 
against  the  divine  sovereignty,  have  seemed,  at  the  first 
dawn  of  their  comfort,  to  rejoice  in  a  peculiar  manner 
in  that  divine  perfection : — and  have  been  delighted  to 
think  that  themselves,  and  all  things  else,  were  in  the 
hand  of  God,  and  that  he  would  dispose  of  them  'just 
as  he  pleased.' 

"  Others,  who,  just  before  their  reception  of  comfort, 
have  been  remarkably  oppressed  with  a  sense  of  their 
undoneness  and  poverty,  who  have  seen  themselves,  as 


276  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  |  Chap.  VIIL 

it  were,  falling  down  into  remediless  perdition,  have 
been  at  first  more  peculiarly  delighted  with  a  view  of 
the  freeness  and  riches  of  divine  grace,  and  the  offer 
of  salvation  made  to  perishing  sinners  '  without  money 
and  without  price.' 

"Some  have  at  first  appeared  to  rejoice  especially  in 
the  wisdom  of  God,  discovered  in  the  way  of  salvation 
by  Christ ;  it  then  appearing  to  them  '  a  new  and  living 
way,'  a  way  of  which  they  had  never  thought,  nor  had 
any  just  conceptions,  until  opened  to  them  by  the  spe- 
cial influence  of  the  divine  Spirit.  Some  of  them,  up- 
on a  lively  spiritual  view  of  this  way  of  salvation,  have 
wondered  at  their  past  folly  in  seeking  salvation  in 
other  ways,  and  that  they  never  saw  this  way  of  sal- 
vation before,  which  now  appeared  so  plain  and  easy, 
as  well  as  excellent  to  them. 

"  Others,  again,  have  had  a  more  general  view  of  the 
beauty  and  excellency  of  Christ,  and  have  had  their 
souls  delighted  with  an  apprehension  of  his  divine  glo- 
ry, as  unspeakably  exceeding  all  they  had  ever  con- 
ceived before ;  yet,  without  singling  out  any  one  of  the 
divine  perfections  in  particular ;  so  that,  although  their 
comforts  have  seemed  to  arise  from  a  variety  of  views 
and  considerations  of  divine  glories,  still  they  were 
spiritual  and  supernatural  views  of  them,  and  not 
groundless  fancies,  which  were  the  spring  of  their  joys 
and  comforts. 

"  Yet  it  must  be  acknowledged  that,  when  this  work 
became  so  universal  and  prevalent,  and  gained  such 
general  credit  and  esteem  among  the  Indians  that  Sa- 
tan seemed  to  have  little  advantage  of  working  against 
it  in  his  own  proper  garb,  he  then  transformed  himself 
'into  an  angel  of  light,'  and  made  some  vigorous  at- 
tempts to  introduce  turbulent  commotions  of  the  pas- 


1746.  I  GENERAL   REMARKS.  277 

sionsinthe  room  of  genuine  convictions  of  sin,  imagi- 
nary and  fanciful  notions  of  Christ,  as  appearing  to  the 
mental  eye  in  a  human  shape,  and  in  some  particular 
postures,  &c.  in  the  room  of  spiritual  and  supernatural 
discoveries  of  his  divine  glory  and  excellency,  as  well 
as  many  other  delusions.  I  have  reason  to  think,  that, 
if  these  things  had  met  with  countenance  and  encou- 
ragement, there  would  have  been  a  very  considerable 
harvest  of  this  kind  of  converts  here. 

"  Spiritual  pride  also  discovered  itself  in  various  in- 
stances. Some  persons,  whose  feelings  had  been  great- 
ly excited,  seemed  very  desirous  from  thence  of  being 
thought  truly  gracious  ;  who,  when  I  could  not  but  ex- 
press to  them  my  fears  respecting  their  spiritual  state,, 
discovered  their  resentments  to  a  considerable  degree. 
There  also  appeared  in  one  or  two  of  them,  an  unbe- 
coming ambition  of  being  teachers  of  others.  So  that 
Satan  has  been  a  busy  adversary  here  as  well  as  else- 
where. But,  blessed  be  God,  though  something  of  this 
nature  has  appeared,  yet  nothing  of  it  has  prevailed, 
nor  indeed  made  any  considerable  progress  at  all.  My 
people  are  now  apprised  of  these  things,  are  made  ac- 
quainted, that  Satan  in  such  a  manner  '  transformed 
himself  into  an  angel  of  light,'  in  the  first  season  of 
the  gif&t  outpouring  of  the  divine  Spirit  in  the  days  of 
the  apostles ;  and  that  something  of  this  nature,  in  a 
greater  or  less  degree,  has  attended  almost  every  re- 
vival and  remarkable  propagation  of  true  religion  ever 
since.  They  have  learned  so  to  distinguish  between 
the  gold  and  dross,  that  the  credit  of  the  latter  '  is  trod- 
den down  like  the  mire  of  the  streets ;'  and,  as  it  is  na- 
tural for  this  kind  of  stuff  to  die  with  its  credit,  there 
is  now  scarce  any  appearance  of  it  among  them. 

"  As  there  has  been  no  prevalence  of  irregular  heats, 


278  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX, 

imaginary  notions,  spiritual  pride,  and  satanical  delu- 
sions among  my  people  ;  so  there  have  been  very  few 
instances  of  scandalous  and  irregular  behavior  among 
those  who  have  made  a  profession,  or  even  an  appear- 
ance of  seriousness.  I  do  not  know  of  more  than 
three  or  four  such  persons  who  have  been  guilty  of 
any  open  misconduct,  since  their  first  acquaintance 
with  Christianity ;  and  I  know  of  no  one  who  persists 
in  any  thing  of  that  nature.  Perhaps  the  remarkable 
purity  of  this  work  in  the  latter  respect,  its  freedom 
from  frequent  instances  of  scandal,  is  very  much  owing 
to  its  purity  in  the  former  respect,  its  freedom  from 
corrupt  mixtures  of  spiritual  pride,  wild-fire,  and  delu- 
sion, which  naturally  lay  a  foundation  for  scandalous 
practices. 

"  May  this  blessed  work,  in  the  power  and  purity  of  it, 
prevail  among  the  poor  Indians  here,  as  well  as  spread 
elsewhere,  till  their  remotest  tribes  shall  see  the  salva- 
tion of  God !  Amen." 


CHAPTER  IX. 

From  the  close  of  his  Public  Journal,  June  19,  1746,  to  his  death 
— continuance  of  labor  at  Cro.isweeksuitg  and  Cranberry — 
journey  with  six  Christian  Indians  to  the  Suaqueliaima,  and 
labors  there — return  to  Cross weeksung — compelled  by  prostra- 
tion of  health  to  leave  the  Imlians — confinement  by  sickness  at 
Elisabeth/own— -farewell  visit  to  the  Indians — his  brother  John 
succeeds  him  as  a  Missionary — arrival  among  his  friends  in 
Connecticut — visit  to  President  Edwards  in  Northampton — 
journey  to  Boston,  where  he  is  brought  near  to  death — useful- 
ness in  Boston — ret  urns  to  Northampton — triumphs  of  grace 
in  his  last  sickness — death. 

[June  19, 1746— October  9, 1747. 1 

iMrd'sday,  June  29,  1746. — "  Preached  both  parts  of 
the  day,  from  John,  14 : 19.    God  was  pleased  to  -assist 


1746.J  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNG.  279 

me,  to  afford  me  botli  freedom  and  power,  especially 
toward  the  close  of  my  discourses  forenoon  and  after- 
noon. God's  power  appeared  in  the  assembly,  in  both 
exercises.  Numbers  of  God's  people  were  refreshed 
and  melted  with  divine  things;  one  or  two  comforted, 
who  had  been  long  under  distress ;  convictions,  in  di- 
vers instances,  were  powerfully  revived ;  and  one  man 
in  years  was  much  awakened,  who  had  not  long  fre- 
quented our  meeting,  and  appeared  before  as  stupid 
as  a  stock.  God  amazingly  renewed  and  lengthened 
out  my  strength.  I  was  so  spent  at  noon  that  I  could 
scarcely  walk,  and  all  my  joints  trembled  so  that  I  could 
not  sit,  nor  so  nvieh  as  hold  my  hand  still;  and  yet 
God  strengthened  me  to  preach  with  power  in  the  after- 
noon, although  I  had  given  out  word  to  my  people,  that 
I  did  not  expect  to  be  able  to  do  it.  Spent  some  time 
afterward  in  conversing,  particularly,  with  several  per- 
sons, about  their  spiritual  state ;  and  had  some  satis- 
faction concerning  one  or  two.  Prayed  afterward 
with  a  sick  child,  and  gave  a  word  of  exhortation. 
Was  assisted  in  all  my  work.  Blessed  be  God  !  Re- 
turned home  with  more  health  than  I  had  in  the  morn- 
ing, although  my  linen  was  wringing  wet  upon  me, 
from  a  little  after  ten,  till  past  five  in  the  afternoon. 
My  spirits  also  were  considerably  refreshed;  and  my 
soul  rejoiced  in  hope,  that  I  had  through  grace  done 
something  for  God.  In  the  evening  walked  out,  and 
enjoyed  a  sweet  season  in  secret  prayer  and  praise. 
But  O  I  found  the  truth  of  the  Psalmist's  words,  'My 
goodness  extendeth  not  to  thee!'  I  could  not  make 
any  returns  to  God  ;  I  longed  to  live  only  to  him,  and 
to  be  in  tune  for  his  praise  and  service  for  ever.  Oh 
for  spirituality  and  holy  fervency,  that  I  might  spend 
and  be  spent  for  God  to  my  latest  moment 


280  LIFE   OP   BHAINERD.  [.Chap.  IX. 

July  10. — "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing.  To- 
ward night  rode  to  Mr.  Tennent's ;  enjoyed  some 
agreeable  conversation ;  went  home  in  the  evening,  in 
a  solemn,  sweet  frame  of  mind ;  was  refreshed  in  secret 
duties,  longed  to  live  wholly  and  only  for  God,  and 
saw  plainly  there  was  nothing  in  the  world  worthy  of 
my  affection — my  heart  was  dead  to  all  below ;  yet  not 
through  dejection,  as  at  some  times,  but  from  views  of 
a  better  inheritance. 

July  12. — "  This  day  was  spent  in  fasting  and  prayer 
by  my  congregation,  as  preparatory  to  the  Lord's  sup- 
per. I  discoursed,  both  parts  of  the  day,  from  Rom. 
4  :  25,  '  Who  was  delivered  for  our  offences,'  &c. 
God  gave  me  some  assistance,  and  something  of  divine 
power  attended  the  word ;  so  that  this  was  an  agree- 
able season.  Afterward  led  them  to  a  solemn  renewal 
of  their  covenant,  and  fresh  dedication  of  themselves 
to  God.  This  was  a  season  both  of  solemnity  and 
sweetness,  and  God  seemed  to  be  '  in  the  midst  of  us.' 
Returned  to  my  lodgings  in  the  evening,  in  a  comfort- 
able frame  of  mind. 

.Lord's  day,  July  13. — "  In  the  forenoon,  discoursed 
on  the  '  bread  of  life,'  from  John,  6  :  35.  God  gave  me 
some  assistance,  in  a  part  of  my  discourse  especially ; 
and  there  appeared  some  tender  affection  in  the  assem- 
bly under  divine  truth ;  my  soul  also  was  somewhat 
refreshed.  Administered  the  Lord's  supper  to  thirty- 
one  of  the  Indians.  God  seemed  to  be  present  in  this 
ordinance ;  the  communicants  were  sweetly  melted  and 
refreshed.  O  how  they  melted,  even  when  the  ele- 
ments were  first  uncovered !  There  was  scarcely  a 
dry  eye  among  them,  when  I  took  off  the  linen,  and 
showed  them  the  symbols  of  Christ's  broken  body. 
Having  rested  a  little,  after  the  administration  of  the 


1746.J  LORD'S  SUPPER.  281 

ordinance,  1  visited  the  communicants,  and  found  them 
generally  in  a  sweet  loving  frame ;  not  unlike  what  ap- 
peared among  them  on  the  former  sacramental  occa- 
sion, April  27.  In  the  afternoon,  discoursed  upon  com- 
ing- to  Christ,  and  the  satisfaction  of  those  who  do  so, 
from  the  same  verse  I  insisted  on  in  the  forenoon. 
This  was  likewise  an  agreeable  season,  one  of  much 
tenderness,  affection,  and  enlargement  in  divine  ser- 
vice ;  and  God,  I  am  persuaded,  crowned  our  assembly 
with  his  presence.  I  returned  home  much  spent,  yet 
rejoicing  in  the  goodness  of  God. 

July  14. — "  Went  to  my  people,  and  discoursed  to 
them  from  Psalm  119  :  106,  '  I  have  sworn,  and  I  will 
perform  it,'  &c.  Observed,  (1.).  that  all  God's  judg- 
ments or  commandments  are  righteous.  (2.)  That 
God's  people  have  sworn  to  keep  them  ;  and  this  they 
do  especially  at  the  Lord's  table.  There  appeared  to 
be  a  powerful  divine  influence  on  the  assembly,  and 
considerable  melting  under  the  word.  Afterward  I 
led  them  to  a  renewal  of  their  covenant  before  God, 
that  they  would  watch  over  themselves  and  one  ano- 
ther, lest  they  should  fall  into  sin,  and  dishonor  the 
name  of  Christ.  This  transaction  was  attended  with 
great  solemnity  ;  and  God  seemed  to  own  it  by  excit- 
ing in  them  a  fear  and  jealousy  of  themselves,  lest  they 
should  sin  against  God ;  so  that  the  presence  of  God 
seemed  to  be  among  us  in  this  conclusion  of  the  sacra- 
mental solemnity. 

July  21. — "  Preached  to  the  Indians,  chiefly  for  the 
sake  of  some  strangers;  proposed  my  design  of  taking 
a  journey  speedily  to  the  Susquehanna  ;  exhorted  my 
people  to  pray  for  me,  that  God  would  be  with  me  in 
that  journey ;  and  then  chose  divers  persons  of  the  con- 
gregation to  travel  with  me.  Afterward  spent  some 


282  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

time  in  discoursing  to  the  strangers,  and  was  some- 
what encouraged  with  them.  Took  care  of  my  peo- 
ple's secular  business,  and  was  not  a  little  exercised 
with  it.  Had  some  degree  of  composure  and  comfort 
in  secret  retirement. 

July  22. — "  Was  in  a  dejected  frame  most  of  the  day ; 
wanted  to  wear  out  life,  and  have  it  at  an  end ;  but 
had  some  desires  of  living  to  God,  and  wearing  out  life 
for  him.  Oh  that  I  could  indeed  do  so  !" 

July  29. — "  My  mind  was  cheerful,  and  free  from  the 
melancholy  with  which  I  am  often  exercised ;  had 
freedom  in  looking  up  to  God  at  various  times  in  the 
day.  In  the  evening  I  enjoyed  a  comfortable  season 
in  secret  prayer;  was  helped  to  plead  with  God  for 
my  own  dear  people,  that  he  would  carry  on  his  own 
blessed  work  among  them ;  and  assisted  in  praying 
for  the  divine  presence  to  attend  me  in  my  intended 
journey  to  the  Susquehanna.  I  scarce  knew  how  to 
leave  the  throne  of  grace,  and  it  grieved  me  that  I 
was  obliged  to  go  to  bed  ;  I  longed  to  do  something 
for  God,  but  knew  not  how.  Blessed  be  God  for  this 
freedom  from  dejection ! 

July  30. — "  Was  uncommonly  comfortable,  both  in 
body  and  mind ;  in  the  forenoon  especially,  my  mind 
was  solemn ;  I  was  assisted  in  my  work,  and  God 
seemed  to  be  near  to  me ;  so  that  the  day  was  as  com- 
fortable as  most  I  have  enjoyed  for  some  time.  In  the 
evening  was  favored  with  assistance  in  secret  prayer, 
and  felt  much  as  I  did  the  evening  before.  Blessed  be 
God  for  that  freedom  I  then  enjoyed  at  the  throne  of 
grace,  for  myself,  my  people,  and  my  dear  friends  ! 

August  1.—  "  In  the  evening  enjoyed  a  sweet  season 
in  secret  prayer ;  clouds  of  darkness  and  perplexing 
care  were  sweetly  scattered,  and  nothing  anxious  re- 


1746.]  AT   CROSSWEEKSUNQ.  283 

mained.  O  how  serene  was  my  mind  at  this  season  I 
how  free  from  that  distracting  concern  I  have  often 
felt !  '  Thy  will  be  done,'  was  a  petition  sweet  to  my 
soul ;  and  if  God  had  bid  me  choose  for  myself  in  any 
affair,  I  should  have  chosen  rather  to  have  referred 
the  choice  to  him ;  for  I  saw  he  was  infinitely  wise, 
and  could  not  do  any  thing  amiss,  as  I  was  in  danger 
of  doing.  Was  assisted  in  prayer  for  my  dear  flock, 
that  God  would  promote  his  own  work  among  them, 
and  go  with  me  in  my  intended  journey  to  the  Sus- 
quehanna ;  was  helped  to  remember  my  dear  friends 
in  New-England,  and  my  dear  brethren  in  the  minis- 
try. I  found  enough  in  the  sweet  duty  of  prayer  to 
have  engaged  me  to  continue  in  it  the  whole  night, 
would  my  bodily  state  have  admitted  of  it.  O  how 
sweet  it  is,  to  be  enabled  heartily  to  say,  '  Lord,  not 
my  will,  but  thine  be  done.' 

August  2. — "Near  night,  preached  from  Matt.  11  . 
29.  '  Take  my  yoke  upon  you,'  &c.  Was  considerably 
helped,  and  the  presence  of  God  seemed  to  be  some- 
what remarkably  in  the  assembly;  divine  truth  made 
powerful  impressions,  both  upon  saints  and  sinners. 
Blessed  be  God  for  such  a  revival  among  us  !  In  the 
evening  was  very  weary,  but  found  my  spirits  sup- 
ported and  refreshed. 

August  7. — "  Rode  to  my  house  where  I  spent  the 
last  winter,  in  order  to  bring  some  things  I  needed  for 
my  Susquehanna  journey ;  was  refreshed  to  see  that 
place,  which  God  so  marvellously  visited  with  the 
showers  of  his  grace.  O  how  amazing  did  the  pmcer 
if  God  often  appear  there  !  '  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my 
soul,  and  forget  not  all  his  benefits.' 

August  9. — "  In  the  afternoon  visited  my  people ;  set 
their  affairs  in  order  as  much  as  possible,  and  contrived 


884  LIFE   OF   BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

for  them  the  management  of  their  worldly  business ; 
discoursed  to  them  in  a  solemn  manner,  and  concluded 
with  prayer.  Was  composed  and  comfortable  in  the 
evening,  and  somewhat  fervent  in  secret  prayer  ;  had 
some  sense  and  view  of  the  eternal  world ;  and  found 
a  serenity  of  mind.  O  that  I  could  magnify  the  Lord 
for  any  freedom  which  he  affords  me  in  prayer ! 

Lord's  day,  Aug.  10. — "  Discoursed  to  my  people  both 
parts  of  the  day,  from  Acts,  3  :  19,  '  Repent  ye,  there- 
fore,' &c.  In  discoursing  of  repentance,  in  the  fore- 
noon, God  helped  me,  so  that  my  discourse  was  search- 
ing ;  some  were  in  tears,  both  of  the  Indians  and  white 
people,  and  the  word  of  God  was  attended  with  some 
power.  In  the  intermission  I  was  engaged  in  conver- 
sing on  their  spiritual  state,  one  of  whom  had  very  re- 
cently found  comfort,  after  spiritual  trouble  and  dis- 
tress. In  the  afternoon  was  somewhat  assisted  again, 
though  weak  and  weary.  Three  persons  this  day  made 
a  public  profession  of  their  faith.  Was  in  a  comfort- 
able frame  in  the  evening,  and  enjoyed  some  satisfac- 
tion in  secret  prayer.  I  have  rarely  felt  myself  so  full 
of  tenderness  as  this  day. 

August  11. — "  Being  about  to  set  out  on  a  journey  to 
the  Susquehanna  the  next  day,  with  leave  of  Provi- 
dence, I  spent  some  time  this  day  in  prayer  with  my 
people,  that  God  would  bless  and  succeed  my  intended 
journey,  that  he  would  send  forth  his  blessed  Spirit 
with  his  word,  and  set  up  his  kingdom  among  the  poor 
Indians  in  the  wilderness.  While  I  was  opening  and 
applying  part  of  the  110th  and  lllth  Psalms,  the  power 
of  God  seemed  to  descend  on  the  assembly  in  some  mea- 
sure ;  and  while  I  was  making  the  first  prayer,  num- 
bers were  melted,  and  I  found  some  affectionate  en- 
largement of  soul  myself.  Preached  from  Acts.  4  :  31, 


1746-3          ON  THE  SUSdUEHANNA.  285 

'  And  when  they  had  prayed,  the  place  was  shaken,'  &c. 
God  helped  me,  and  my  interpreter  also  ;  there  was  a 
shaking  and  melting  among  us ;  and  several,  I  doubt 
not,  were  in  some  measure  '  filled  with  the  Holy  Ghost.' 
Afterward,  Mr.  Macnight  prayed  ;  and  I  then  opened 
the  two  last  stanzas  of  the  72d  Psalm ;  at  which  time 
God  was  present  with  us ;  especially  while  I  insisted 
upon  the  promise  of  all  nations  blessing  the  great  R&- 
deemer.  My  soul  was  refreshed,  to  think  that  this  day 
this  blessed,  glorious  season,  should  surely  come;  and  1 
trust  numbers  of  my  dear  people  were  also  refreshed. 
Afterward  prayed ;  had  some  freedom,  but  was  almost 
spent ;  then  walked  out,  and  left  my  people  to  carry 
on  religious  exercises  among  themselves.  They  prayed 
repeatedly,  and  sung,  while  I  rested  and  refreshed  my- 
self. Afterward  went  to  the  meeting,  prayed  with,  and 
dismissed  the  assembly.  Blessed  be  God,  this  has  been 
a  day  of  grace.  There  were  many  tears  and  affec- 
tionate sobs  among  us  this  day.  In  the  evening  my 
soul  was  refreshed  in  prayer ;  enjoyed  liberty  at  the 
throne  of  grace,  in  praying  for  my  people  and  friends, 
and  the  church  of  God  in  general.  '  Bless  the  Lord, 
O  my  soul.' " 

The  next  day  he  set  out  on  his  journey  toward  the 
Susquehanna,  and  six  of  his  Christian  Indians  with 
him,  whom  he  had  chosen  out  of  his  congregation,  as 
those  he  judged  most  fit  to  assist  him  in  the  business 
upon  which  he  was  going.  He  took  his  way  through 
Philadelphia;  intending  to  go  to  the  Susquehanna,  far 
down,  where  it  is  settled  by  the  white  people,  below 
the  country  inhabited  by  the  Indians ;  and  so  to  travel 
op  the  river  to  the  Indian  habitations.  For  although 
this  was  much  farther,  yet  hereby  he  avoided  the  moun- 
tains and  hideous  wilderness  that  must  be  crossed  in 


286  LIFE   OP   BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

the  nearer  way ;  which  in  time  past  he  found  to  be 
extremely  difficult  and  fatiguing. 

Aug.  19. — "  Lodged  by  the  side  of  the  Susquehanna. 
Was  weak  and  disordered  both  this  and  the  preceding 
day,  and  found  my  spirits  considerably  damped,  meet- 
ing with  none  that  I  thought  godly  people. 

Aug.  20. — "  Having  lain  in  a  cold  sweat  all  night,  I 
coughed  up  much  bloody  matter  this  morning,  and 
was  under  great  disorder  of  body,  and  not  a  little  me- 
lancholy ;  but  what  gave  me  some  encouragement,  was, 
I  had  a  secret  hope  that  I  might  speedily  get  a  dismis- 
sion from  earth,  and  all  its  toils  and  sorrows.  Rode  this 
day  to  one  Chambers',  upon  the  Susquehanna,  and  there 
lodged.  Was  much  afflicted  in  the  evening  with  an 
ungodly  crew,  drinking,  swearing,  &c.  O  what  a  hell 
would  it  be,  to  be  numbered  with  the  ungodly  !  En- 
joyed some  agreeable  conversation  with  a  traveller, 
who  seemed  to  have  some  relish  of  true  religion. 

Aug.  21 . — "Rode  up  the  river  about  fifteen  miles,  and 
there  lodged,  in  a  family  which  appeared  quite  desti- 
tute of  God.  Labored  to  discourse  with  the  man  about 
the  life  of  religion,  but  found  him  very  artful  in  eva- 
ding such  conversation.  O  what  a  death  it  is  to  some, 
to  hear  of  the  things  of  God !  Was  out  of  my  element ; 
but  was  not  so  dejected  as  at  some  times. 

Aug.  22. — "Continued  my  course  UD  the  river;  my 
people  now  being  with  me,-  who  before  were  parted 
from  me ;  travelled  above  all  the  English  settlements ; 
at  night  lodged  in  the  open  woods,  and  slept  with  more 
comfort  than  while  among  an  ungodly  company  of 
white  people.  Enjoyed  some  liberty  in  secret  prayer 
this  evening ;  and  was  helped  to  remember  dear  friends, 
as  well  as  my  dear  flock,  and  the  church  of  God  in 
general. 


1745.]  ON   THE   SOSQUEHANNA.  287 

Aug.  23. — "Arrived  at  the  Indian  town,  called  Shau- 
mokinff,  near  night ;  was  not  so  dejected  as  formerly, 
but  yet  somewhat  exercised.  Felt  composed  in  the 
evening,  and  enjoyed  some  freedom  in  leaving  my  ait 
with  God. 

Lord's  day,  Aug.  24. — "  Toward  noon,  visited  some  of 
the  Delawares,  and  conversed  with  them  about  Chris- 
tianity. In  the  afternoon  discoursed  to  the  King,  and 
others,  upon  divine  things;  who  seemed  disposed  to 
hear.  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  these  exercises.  In 
the  evening  enjoyed  some  comfort  and  satisfaction; 
and  especially  had  some  sweetness  in  secret  prayer. 
This  duty  was  made  so  agreeable  to  me,  that  I  loved 
to  walk  abroad,  and  repeatedly  engage  in  it.  O  how 
comfortable  is  a  little  glimpse  of  God  ! 

Aug.  25. — "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing.  Sent 
out  my  people  that  were  with  me,  to  talk  with  the  In- 
dians, and  contract  a  friendship  and  familiarity  with 
them,  that  I  might  have  a  better  opportunity  of  treat- 
ing with  them  about  Christianity.  Some  good  seemed 
to  be  done  by  their  visit  this  day,  many  appeared  will- 
ing to  hearken  to  Christianity.  My  spirits  were  a  little 
refreshed  this  evening,  and  I  found  some  liberty  and 
satisfaction  in  prayer. 

Aug.  26. — "  About  noon,  discoursed  to  a  considerable 
number  of  Indians.  God  helped  me,  I  am  persuaded  ; 
for  I  was  enabled  to  speak  with  much  plainness,  and 
some  warmth  and  power;  and  the  discourse  had  im- 
pression upon  some,  and  made  them  appear  very  se- 
rious. I  thought  things  now  appeared  as  encouraging 
as  they  did  at  Crossweeks.  At  the  time  of  my  first 
visit  to  those  Indians,  I  was  a  little  encouraged ;  I  press- 
ed things  with  all  my  might,  and  called  out  my  peo- 
ple, who  were  then  present,  to  give  in  their  testimony 


288  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

for  God ;  which  they  did.  Toward  night,  was  refresh- 
ed ;  had  a  heart  to  pray  for  the  setting  up  of  God's 
Kingdom  here,  as  well  as  for  my  dear  congregation 
below,  and  my  dear  friends  elsewhere. 

Aug.  28. — "  In  the  forenoon,  I  was  under  great  con- 
cern of  mind  about  rny  work.  Was  visited  by  some 
who  desired  to  hear  me  preach ;  discoursed  to  them 
in  the  afternoon  with  some  fervency,  and  labored  to 
persuade  them  to  turn  to  God.  Was  full  of  concern 
for  the  kingdom  of  Christ,  and  found  some  enlarge- 
ment of  soul  in  prayer,  both  in  secret  and  in  my  family. 
Scarce  ever  saw  more  clearly,  than  this  day,  that  it  is 
God's  work  to  convert  souls,  and  especially  poor  Hea- 
thens. I  knew  I  could  not  touch  them  ;  I  saw  I  could 
only  speak  to  dry  bones,  but  could  give  them  no  sense 
of  what  I  said.  My  eyes  were  up  to  God  for  help :  I 
could  say  the  work  was  his ;  and  if  done,  the  glory 
would  be  his. 

Lord's  day,  Aug.  31. — "Spent  much  time,  in  the 
morning,  in  secret  duties ;  found  a  weight  upon  my 
spirits,  and  could  not  but  cry  to  God  with  concern  and 
engagement  of  soul.  Spent  some  time  also  in  reading 
and  expounding  God's  word  to  my  dear  family  which 
was  with  me,  as  well  as  in  singing  and  prayer  with 
them.  Afterwards  spake  the  word  of  God  to  some 
few  of  the  Susquehanna  Indians.  In  the  afternoon, 
felt  very  weak  and  feeble.  Near  night  was  somewhat 
refreshed  in  mind,  with  some  views  of  things  relating 
to  my  great  work.  O  how  heavy  is  my  work,  when 
faith  cannot  take  hold  of  an  almighty  arm  for  the  per- 
formance of  it!  Many  times  have  I  been  ready  to  sink 
in  this  case.  Blessed  be  God,  that  I  may  repair  to  a 
full  fountain! 

Sept.  \. — "Set  out  on  a  journey  toward  a  place 


1746.]  ON   THE   SUSaUEHANNA.  289 

called  The  great  Mand,  about  fifty  miles  distant  from 
Shaumoking,  on  the  north-western  branch  of  the  Sus- 
quehanna.  Travelled  some  part  of  the  way,  and  at 
night  lodged  in  the  woods.  Was  exceedingly  feeble 
mis  day,  and  sweat  much  the  night  following. 

Sept.  2. — "Rode  forward,  but  no  faster  than  my  peo- 
ple went  on  foot.  Was  very  weak,  on  this  as  weli  as 
the  preceding  days.  I  was  so  feeble  and  faint,  that  I 
feared  it  would  kill  me  to  lie  out  in  the  open  air ;  and 
some  of  our  company  being  parted  from  us,  so  that  we 
had  now  no  axe  with  us,  I  had  no  way  but  to  climb 
into  a  young  pine  tree,  and  with  my  knife  to  lop  the 
branches,  and  so  make  a  shelter  from  the  dew.  But 
"the  evening  being  cloudy,  with  a  prospect  of  rain,  I 
was  still  under  fears  of  being  extremely  exposed: 
sweat  much,  so  that  my  linen  was  almost  wringing 
wet  all  night.  I  scarcely  ever  was  more  weak  and 
weary  than  this  evening,  when  I  was  able  to  sit  up  at 
all.  This  was  a  melancholy  situation ;  but  I  endeavor- 
ed to  quiet  myself  with  considerations  of  the  possibility 
of  my  being  in  much  worse  circumstances  amongst 
enemies,  &c. 

Sept.  3. — "  Rode  to  the  Delaware-town ;  found  ma- 
ny drinking  and  drunken.  Discoursed  with  some  of 
the  Indians  about  Christianity ;  observed  my  interpre- 
ter much  engaged,  and  assisted  in  his  work;  a  few  per- 
sons seemed  to  hear  with  great  earnestness  and  engage- 
ment of  soul.  About  noon,  rode  to  a  small  town  of 
Shauwaunoes,  about  eight  miles  distant ;  spent  an  hour 
or  two  there,  and  returned  to  the  Delaware-town,  and 
lodged  there.  Was  scarce  ever  more  confounded  with 
a  sense  of  my  own  unfruitfulness  and  unfitness  for  my 
work  than  now.  O  what  a  dead,  heartless,  barren,  un- 
profitable wretch  did  I  now  see  myself  to  be !  My 

Brainord  19 


290  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

spirits  were  so  low,  and  my  bodily  strength  so  wasted, 
that  J  could  do  nothing  at  all.  At  length,  being  much 
overdone,  lay  down  on  a  buffalo-skin ;  but  sweat  much 
the  whole  night. 

Sept.  4. — "  Discoursed  with  the  Indians,  m  the  morn- 
ing, about  Christianity;  my  Interpreter,  afterward, 
carrying  OD  the  discourse  to  a  considerable  length. 
Some  few  appeared  well  disposed,  and  somewhat  affect- 
ed. Left  this  place,  and  returned  toward  Shaumoking ; 
and  at  night  lodged  in  the  place  where  I  lodged  the 
Monday  night- before :  was  in  very  uncomfortable  cir- 
cumstances in  the  evening,  my  people  being  late,  and 
not  coming  to  me  till  past  ten  at  night;  so  that  I  had 
no  fire  to  dress  any  victuals,  or  to  keep  me  warm,  or 
keep  off  wild  beasts ;  and  I  was  scarce  ever  more  weak 
and  exhausted.  However,  I  lay  down  and  slept  before 
my  people  came  up,  expecting  nothing  else  but  to  spend 
the  whole  night  alone,  and  without  fire. 

Sept.  5. — "Was  exceeding  weak,  so  that  I  could 
scarcely  ride ;  it  seemed  sometimes  as  if  I  must  fall 
from  my  horse,  and  lie  in  the  open  woods :  however, 
got  to  Shaumoking  toward  night:  felt  somewhat  of  a 
spirit  of  thankfulness,  that  God  had  so  far  returned  me : 
was  refreshed  to  see  one  of  my  Christians,  whom  I  left 
here  in  my  late  excursion. 

Sept.  6. — "  Spent  the  day  in  a  very  weak  state ;  cough- 
ing and  spitting  blood,  and  having  little  appetite  for  any 
food  I  had  with  me ;  was  able  to  do  very  little,  except 
discourse  a  while  of  divine  things  to  my  own  people, 
and  to  some  few  I  met  with.  Had,  by  this  time,  very 
little  life  or  heart  to  speak  for  God,  through  feebleness 
of  body.  Was  scarcely  ever  more  ashamed  and  con- 
founded in  myself  than  now.  I  was  sensible  that 
there  were  numbers  of  God's  people  who  knew  I  was 


1746.]  ON   THE    SUSftUEHANNA.  291 

then  out  upon  a  design,  or  at  least  the  pretence,  of  doing 
something  for  God,  and  in  his  cause,  among  the  poor 
Indians ;  and  they  were  ready  to  suppose  that  I  was 
fervent  in  spirit;  but  O  the  heartless  frame  of  my  mind 
filled  me  with  confusion  !  O,  methought,  if  God's  peo- 
ple knew  me  as  God  knows,  they  would  not  think  so 
highly  of  my  zeal  and  resolution  for  God  as  perhaps 
now  they  do !  I  could  not  but  desire  they  should  see 
how  heartless  and  irresolute  I  was,  that  they  might  be 
undeceived,  and '  not  think  of  me  above  what  they  ought 
to  think.'  And  yet  I  thought,  if  they  saw  the  utmost 
of  my  unfaithfulness,  the  smallness  of  my  courage  and 
resolution  for  God,  they  would  be  ready  to  shut  me  out 
of  their  doors,  as  unworthy  of  the  company  or  friend- 
ship of  Christians. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  7. — "Was  much  in  the  same  weak 
state  of  body,  and  afflicted  frame  of  mind,  as  in  the 
preceding  day:  my  soul  was  grieved,  and  mourned 
that  I  could  do  nothing  for  God.  Read  and  expounded 
some  part  of  God's  word  to  my  own  dear  family,  and 
spent  some  time  in  prayer  with  them  ;  discoursed  also 
a  little  to  the  Pagans;  but  spent  the  Sabbath  with  a 
little  comfort. 

Sept.  8. — "Spent  the  forenoon  among  the  Indians; 
in  the  afternoon,  left  Shaumoking,  and  returned  down 
the  river  a  few  miles.  Had  proposed  to  tarry  a  con- 
siderable time  longer  among  the  Indians  upon  the  Sus  - 
quehanna,  but  was  hindered  from  pursuing  my  pur- 
pose by  the  sickness  that  prevailed  there,  the  feeble 
state  of  my  own  people  that  were  with  me,  and  espe- 
cially my  own  extraordinary  weakness,  having  been 
exercised  with  great  nocturnal  sweats,  and  a  coughing 
up  of  blood,  almost  the  whole  of  the  journey.  I  was 
a  great  part  of  the  time  so  feeble  and  faint,  that  it  seem- 


292  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX 

ed  as  though  I  never  should  be  able  to  reach  home; 
and  at  the  same  time  very  destitute  of  the  comforts, 
and  even  the  necessaries  of  life ;  at  least,  what  was  ne- 
cessary for  one  in  so  weak  a  state.  In  this  journey  I 
sometimes  was  enabled  to  speak  the  word  of  God  with 
some  power,  and  divine  truth  made  some  impression 
on  those  who  heard  me ;  so  that  several,  both  men  and 
women,  old  and  young,  seemed  to  cleave  to  us,  and  be 
well  disposed  toward  Christianity ;  but  others  mocked 
and  shouted,  which  damped  those  who  before  seemed 
friendly,  at  least  some  of  them.  Yet  God,  at  times,  was 
evidently  present,  assisting  me,  my  Interpreter,  and 
other  dear  friends  who  were  with  me.  God  gave  some- 
times a  good  degree  of  freedom  in  prayer  for  the  in- 
gathering of  souls  there ;  and  I  could  not  but  entertain 
a  strong  hope,  that  the  journey  would  not  be  wholly 
fruitless.  Whether  the  issue  of  it  would  be  the  setting 
up  of  Christ's  kingdom  there,  or  only  the  drawing  of 
some  few  persons  down  to  my  congregation  in  New- 
Jersey  ;  or  whether  they  were  now  only  preparing  for 
some  farther  attempts  that  might  be  made  among  them, 
I  did  not  determine;  but  I  was  persuaded  the  journey 
would  not  be  lost.  Blessed  be  God,  that  I  had  any 
encouragement  and  hope. 

Sept.  9. — "  Rode  down  the  river  near  thirty  miles. 
Was  extremely  weak,  much  fatigued,  and  wet  with  a 
thunder  storm.  Discoursed  with  some  warmth  and 
closeness  to  some  poor  ignorant  souls,  on  the  life  and 
power  of  religion :  what  were,  and  what  were  not  the 
evidences  of  it.  They  seemed  much  astonished  when 
they  saw  my  Indians  ask  a  blessing  and  give  thanks  at 
dinner,  concluding  that  a  very  high  evidence  of  grace 
in  them  ;  but  were  equally  astonished  when  I  insisted 
that  neither  that,  nor  yet  secret  prayer,  was  any  sure 


* 
"* 

1746.]  AT  CRANBERRY.  2t>3 

evidence  of  grace.  O  the  ignorance  of  the  world !  How 
are  some  empty  outward  forms,  that  may  all  be  entire- 
ly selfish,  mistaken  for  true  religion,  infallible  evidences 
of  it !  The  Lord  pity  a  deluded  world  ! 

Sept.  11. — "Rode  homeward;  but  was  very  weaks 
and  sometimes  scarce  able  to  ride.  Had  a  very  impor- 
tunate invitation  to  preach  at  a  meetiug-house  I  came 
by,  the  people  being  then  gathered,  but  could  not  by 
reason  of  weakness.  Was  resigned  and  composed  un- 
der my  weakness  ;  but  was  much  exercised  with  con- 
cern for  my  companions  in  travel,  whom  I  had  left 
with  much  regret,  some  lame,  and  some  sick. 

Sept.  20. — "  Arrived  among  my  own  people,  (near 
Cranberry,)  just  at  night :  found  them  praying  together; 
went  in,  and  gave  them  some  account  of  God's  deal- 
ings with  me  and  my  companions  in  the  journey ; 
which  seemed  affecting  to  them.  I  then  prayed  with 
them,  and  thought  the  divine  presence  was  among  us  ; 
several  were  melted  into  tears,  and  seemed  to  have  a 
sense  of  divine  things.  Being  very  weak,  I  was  obliged 
soon  to  repair  to  my  lodgings,  and  felt  much  worn 
out  in  the  evening.  Thus  God  has  carried  me  through 
the  fatigues  and  perils  of  another  journey  to  the  Sus- 
quehanna,  and  returned  me  again  in  safety,  though 
under  a  great  degree  of  bodily  indisposition.  O  that 
my  soul  were  truly  thankful  for  renewed  instances  of 
mercy  !  Many  hardships  and  distresses  I  endured  in  this 
journey ;  but  the  Lord  supported  me  under  them  all." 

Hitherto  BRAINERD  had  kept  a  constant  diary,  giving 
an  account  of  what  passed  from  day  to  day,  with  very 
little  interruption  ;  but  henceforward  his  diary  is  very 
much  interrupted  by  his  illness  ;  under  which  he  was 
often  brought  so  low,  as  either  not  to  be  capable  of 
writing,  or  not  well  able  to  bear  the  burden  of  a  care 


294  LIFE   OP   BKAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

so  constant  as  was  requisite  to  recollect  every  evening 
what  had  passed  in  the  day,  and  digest  it,  and  put  on 
paper  an  orderly  account  of  it.  However,  his  diary 
was  not  wholly  neglected  ;  but  he  took  care,  from  time 
to  time,  to  take  some  notice  in  it  of  the  most  material 
things  concerning  himself  and  the  state  of  his  mind, 
even  till  within  a  few  days  of  his  death. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  21,  1746. — "  I  was  so  weak  that  1 
could  not  preach,  nor  pretend  to  ride  over  to  my  people 
in  the  forenoon.  In  the  afternoon  rode  out ;  sat  in  my 
chair,  and  discoursed  to  them  from  Rom.  14  :  7,  8.  I 
was  strengthened  and  helped  in  my  discourse,  and 
there  appeared  something  agreeable  in  the  assembly. 
I  returned  to  my  lodgings  extremely  tired,  but  thank- 
ful that  I  had  been  enabled  to  speak  a  word  to  my 
poor  people,  from  whom  I  had  been  so  long  absent. 
Was  enabled  to  sleep  very  little  this  night,  through 
weariness  and  pain.  O  how  blessed  should  I  be,  if  the 
little  I  do  were  all  done  with  right  views !  O  that, 
'  whether  I  live,  I  might  live  to  the  Lord ;  or  whether  1 
die,  I  might  die  unto  the  Lord ;  that,  whether  living  01 
dying,  I  might  be  the  Lord's  !' 

Sept.  27. — "  Spent  this  day,  as  well  as  the  whole 
week  past,  under  a  great  degree  of  bodily  weakness; 
exercised  with  a  violent  cough  and  a  considerable 
fever.  I  had  no  appetite  for  any  kind  of  food,  could 
not  retain  it  on  my  stomach,  and  frequently  had  little 
rest  in  my  bed,  owing  to  pains  in  my  breast  and  back. 
I  was  able,  however,  to  ride  over  to  my  people,  about 
two  miles,  every  day,  and  take  some  care  of  those  who 
were  then  at  work  upon  a  small  house  for  me  to  reside 
in  among  the  Indians.*  I  was  sometimes  scarce  able 

*  This  was  the  fourth  house  he  built  for  his  residence  among 
Ihe  Indians.  Beside  that  at  Kaitnaumce/c,  and  that  at  the 


1746.]  AT  CRANBERRY.  295 

to  walk,  and  never  able  to  sit  up  the  whole  day,  through 
the  week.  Was  calm  and  composed,  and  but  little  ex- 
ercised with  melancholy,  as  in  former  seasons  of  weak- 
ness. Whether  I  should  ever  recover  or  no,  seemed 
very  doubtful ;  but  this  was  many  times  a  comfort  to 
me,  that  life  and  death  did  not  depend  upon  my  choice. 
I  was  pleased  to  think,  that  He  who  is  infinitely  wise, 
had  the  determination  of  this  matter ;  and  that  I  had 
no  trouble  to  consider  and  weigh  things  upon  all  sides, 
in  order  to  make  the  choice  whether  I  should  live  or 
die.  Thus  my  time  was  consumed ;  I  had  little  strength 
to  pray,  none  to  write  or  read,  and  scarce  any  to  me- 
ditate ;  but,  through  divine  goodness,  I  could  with  great 
composure  look  death  in  the  face,  and  frequently  with 
sensible  joy.  O  how  blessed  it  is  to  be  habitually  pre- 
pared for  death ! 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  28. — "  Rode  to  my  people,  and, 
though  under  much  weakness,  attempted  to  preach 
from  2  Cor.  13  :  5.  Discoursed  about  half  an  hour,  at 
which  season  divine  power  seemed  to  attend  the  word  ; 
but  being  extremely  weak,  I  was  obliged  to  desist ;  and 
after  a  turn  of  faintness,  with  much  difficulty  rode  to 
my  lodgings,  where,  betaking  myself  to  my  bed,  I  lay 
in  a  burning  fever,  and  almost  delirious  for  several 
hours,  till,  toward  morning,  my  fever  went  off  with  a 
violent  sweat.  I  have  often  been  feverish  and  unable 
to  rest  quietly  after  preaching ;  but  this  was  the  most 
severe,  distressing  turn,  that  ever  preaching  brought 
upon  me.  Yet  I  felt  perfectly  at  rest  in  my  own  mind, 
because  I  had  made  my  utmost  attempts  to  speak  for 
God,  and  knew  I  could  do  no  more. 

Fork*  of  Delaware,  and  another  at  Crosstceeksung,  he  built  one 
now  at  Cranberry 


296  LIFE    OP  BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX 

Oct.  4. — "  Spent  the  former  part  of  this  week  under 
a  great  degree  of  infirmity  and  disorder,  as  I  had  done 
several  weeks  before ;  was  able,  however,  to  ride  a  little 
every  day,  although  unable  to  sit  up  half  the  day,  till 
Thursday.  Took  some  care  daily  of  some  persons  at 
work  upon  my  house.  On  Friday  afternoon  found  my- 
self wonderfully  revived  and  strengthened.  Having 
some  time  before  given  notice  to  my  people,  and  those 
of  them  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  in  particular,  that  I 
designed,  with  the  leave  of  Providence,  to  administer 
the  Lord's  supper  upon  the  first  Sabbath  in  October, 
on  Friday  afternoon  I  preached  preparatory  to  the 
ordinance,  from  2  Cor.  13  :  5 ;  finishing  what  I  had 
proposed  to  offer  upon  the  subject  the  Sabbath  before. 
The  sermon  was  blessed  of  God  to  the  stirring  up  reli- 
gious affection  and  a  spirit  of  devotion  in  his  people, 
and  greatly  affected  one  who  had  backslidden  from 
God,  which  caused  him  to  judge  and  condemn  himself. 
I  was  surprisingly  strengthened  in  my  work  while  I 
was  speaking;  but  was  obliged  immediately  after  to 
repair  to  bed,  being  now  removed  into  my  own  house 
among  the  Indians.  Spent  some  time  in  conversing 
with  my  people  about  divine  things  as  I  lay  upon  my 
bed,  and  found  my  soul  refreshed,  though  my  body 
was  weak. — This  being  Saturday,  I  discoursed  parti- 
cularly with  divers  of  the  communicants ;  and  this  af- 
ternoon preached  from  Zech.  12  :  10.  There  seemed 
to  be  a  tender  melting  and  hearty  mourning  for  sin,  in 
numbers  in  the  congregation.  My  soul  was  in  a  com- 
fortable frame,  and  I  enjoyed  freedom  and  assistance 
in  public  service ;  was  myself,  as  well  as  most  of  the 
congregation,  much  affected  with  the  humble  confes- 
sion and  apparent  broken-heartedness  of  the  foremen- 
tioned  backslider,  and  could  not  but  rejoice  that  God 


1746.]  AT  CRANBERRY.  297 

had  given  him  such  a  sense  of  his  sin  and  unworthi- 
ness.  Was  extremely  tired  in  the  evening,  but  lay  on 
my  bed,  and  discoursed  to  my  people. 

Lord's  day,  Oct.  5. — "  Was  still  very  weak;  and  in 
the  morning  considerably  afraid  I  should  not  be  able 
to  go  through  the  work  of  the  day ;  having  much  to 
do,  both  in  private  and  public.  Discoursed  before  the 
administration  of  the  Lord's  supper,  from  John,  1 :  29, 
'  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God,  that  taketh  away  the  sins 
of  the  world.'  Where  I  considered  (1.)  in  what  re- 
spects Christ  is  called  the  '  Lamb  of  God ;'  and  ob- 
served that  he  is  so  called,  from  the  purity  and  inno- 
cency  of  his  nature — from  his  meekness  and  patience 
under  sufferings — from  his  being  that  atonement  which 
was  pointed  out  in  the  sacrifice  of  lambs,  and  in  parti- 
cular by  the  paschal  lamb.  (2.)  Considered  how  and 
in  what  sense  he  '  takes  away  the  sin  of  the  world;' 
and  observed,  that  the  means  and  manner  in  and  by 
which  he  takes  away  the  sins  of  men,  was  his  '  giving 
himself  for  them,'  doing  and  suffering  in  their  room 
and  stead,  &c.  And  he  is  said  to  take  away  the  sin  of 
the  world,  not  because  all  the  world  shall  actually  be 
redeemed  from  sin  by  him,  but  because  he  has  done 
and  suffered  sufficient  to  answer  for  the  sins  of  the 
world,  and  so  to  redeem  all  mankind; — he  actually 
does  take  away  the  sins  of  the  elect  world.  And  (3.) 
considered  how  we  are  to  behold  him,  in  order  to  have 
our  sins  taken  away.  Not  with  our  bodily  eyes;  nor 
by  imagining  him  on  the  cross,  &c.;  but  by  a  spiritual 
view  of  his  glory  and  goodness,  engaging  the  soul  to 
rely  on  him,  &c. — The  divine  presence  attended  this 
discourse ;  and  the  assembly  was  considerably  melted 
with  divine  truth.  After  sermon,  two  made  a  public 
profession,  and  I  administered  the  Lord's  supper  to 


LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

near  forty  communicants  of  the  Indians,  besides  di- 
vers dear  Christians  of  the  white  people.  It  seemed 
to  be  a  season  of  divine.power  and  grace;  and  numbers 
seemed  to  rejoice  in  God.  O  the  sweet  union  and  har- 
mony then  appearing  among  the  religious  people ! 
My  soul  was  refreshed,  and  my  religious  friends  of 
the  white  people  with  me.  After  the  ordinance,  could 
scarcely  get  home,  though  it  was  not  more  than  twenty 
rods  ;  but  was  supported  and  led  by  my  friends,  and 
laid  on  my  bed;  where  I  lay  in  pain  till  some  time  in 
the  evening;  and  then  was  able  to  sit  up  and  discourse 
with  friends.  O  how  was  this  day  spent  in  prayers 
and  praises  among  my  dear  people !  One  might  hear 
them,  all  the  morning  before  public  worship,  and  in 
the  evening,  till  near  midnight,  praying  and  singing 
praises  to  God,  in  one  or  other  of  their  houses.  My 
soul  was  refreshed,  though  my  body  was  weak. 

Oct.  11. — "Toward  night  was  seized  with  an  ague, 
which  was  followed  with  a  hard  fever  and  consider- 
able pain;  was  treated  with  great  kindness;  and  was 
ashamed  to  see  so  much  concern  about  so  unworthy  a 
creature  as  I  knew  myself  to  be.  Was  in  a  comfort- 
able frame  of  mind,  wholly  submissive,  with  regard  to 
life  or  death.  It  was  indeed  a  peculiar  satisfaction  to 
me,  to  think  that  it  was  not  my  concern  or  business  to 
determine  whether  I  should  live  or  die.  I  likewise 
felt  peculiarly  satisfied,  while  under  this  uncommon 
degree  of  disorder;  being  now  fully  convinced  of  my 
being  really  weak,  and  unable  to  perform  my  work. 
Whereas,  at  other  times,  my  mind  was  perplexed  with 
fears  that  I  was  a  misimprover  of  time,  by  conceiving 
I  was  sick,  when  I  was  not  in  reality  so.  O  how  pre- 
cious is  time !  And  how  guilty  it  makes  me  feel,  when 
I  think  that  I  have  trifled  away  and  misimproved  it 


1746.1  AT  CRANBERRY.  299 

or  neglected  to  fill  up  each  part  of  it  with  duty,  to  the 
utmost  of  ray  ability  and  capacity ! 

Lord's  day,  Oct.  19. — "  Was  scarcely  able  to  do  any 
thing  at  all  in  the  week  past,  except  that  on  Thursday 
I  rode  out  about  four  miles ;  at  which  time  I  took  cold. 
As  I  was  able  to  do  little  or  nothing,  so  I  enjoyed  not 
much  spirituality,  or  lively  religious  affection ;  though 
at  some  times  I  longed  much  to  be  more  fruitful  and 
full  of  heavenly  affection ;  and  was  grieved  to  see  the 
hours  slide  away,  while  I  could  do  nothing  for  God. — 
Was  able  this  week  to  attend  public  worship.  Was 
composed  and  comfortable,  willing  either  to  die  or 
live;  but  found  it  hard  to  be  reconciled  to  the  thoughts 
of  living  useless.  Oh  that  I  might  never  live  to  be  a 
burden  to  God's  creation ;  but  that  I  might  be  allowed 
to  repair  Jiom-e,  when  my  sojourning-  work  is  done !" 

This  week,  he  went  back  to  his  Indians  at  Cran- 
berry, to  take  some  care  of  their  spiritual  and  tempo- 
ral concerns ;  and  was  much  spent  with  riding,  though 
he  rode  but  a  little  way  in  a  day. 

Oct.  23. — "  Went  to  my  own  house,  and  set  things 
in  order.  Was  very  weak,  and  somewhat  melancholy ; 
labored  to  do  something,  but  had  no  strength ;  and 
was  forced  to  lie  down  on  my  bed,  very  solitary. 

Oct.  24. — "  Spent  the  day  in  overseeing  and  direct- 
ing my  people,  about  mending  their  fence  and  secur- 
ing their  wheat.  Found  that  all  their  concerns  of  a 
secular  nature  depended  upon  me.  Was  somewhat 
refreshed  in  the  evening,  having  been  able  to  do  some- 
thing valuable  in  the  day-time.  O  how  it  pains  me  to 
see  time  pass  away,  when  I  can  do  nothing  to  any 
purpose ! 

Lord's  day,  Oct.  26. — "  In  the  morning  was  exceed- 
ingly weak.  Spent  the  day,  till  near  night,  in  pain,  to 


300  LIFE   OF   BHAINERD.  [Chap.   IX. 

see  my  poor  people  wandering  '  as  sheep  not  having 
a  shepherd,'  waiting  and  hoping  to  see  me  able  tc 
preach  to  them  before  night.  It  could  not  but  distress 
me  to  see  them  in  this  case,  and  to  find  myself  unable 
to  attempt  any  thing  for  their  spiritual  benefit.  But 
toward  night,  finding  myself  a  little  better,  I  called 
them  together  to  my  house,  and  sat  down,  and  read 
and  expounded  Matthew,  5  : 1 — 16.  This  discourse, 
though  delivered  in  much  weakness,  was  attended  with 
power  to  many  of  the  hearers;  especially  what  was 
spoken  upon  the  last  of  these  verses;  where  I  insisted 
on  the  infinite  wrong  done  to  religion,  by  having  our 
light  become  darkness,  instead  of  shining  before  men. 
Many  in  the  congregation  were  now  deeply  affected 
with  a  sense  of  their  deficiency  with  respect  to  a  spi- 
ritual conversation  which  might  recommend  religion 
to  others,  and  a  spirit  of  concern  and  watchfulness 
seemed  to  be  excited  in  them.  One,  in  particular,  who 
had  fallen  in  the  sin  of  drunkenness  some  time  before, 
was  now  deeply  convinced  of  his  sin,  and  the  great 
dishonor  done  to  religion  by  his  misconduct,  and 
discovered  a  great  degree  of  grief  and  concern  on  that 
account.  My  soul  was  refreshed  to  see  this;  and 
though  I  had  no  strength  to  speak  so  much  as  I  would 
have  done,  but  was  obliged  to  lie  down  on  the  bed,  yet 
I  rejoiced  to  see  such  an  humble  melting  in  the  con- 
gregation, and  that  divine  truths,  though  faintly  deli- 
vered, were  attended  with  so  much  efficacy  upon  the 
auditory. 

Oct.  27. — "  Spent  the  day  in  overseeing  and  direct- 
ing the  Indians  about  mending  the  fence  round  their 
wheat:  was  able  to  walk  with  them,  and  contrive  their 
business,  all  the  forenoon.  In  the  afternoon,  was  vi- 
sited by  two  dear  friends,  and  spent  some  time  in  con- 


1746.]  AT  CRANBERRY.  301 

versation  with  them.  Toward  night  I  was  able  to 
walk  out,  and  take  care  of  the  Indians  again.  In  the 
evening,  enjoyed  a  very  peaceful  frame. 

Oct.  28. — "  Rode  to  Princeton  in  a  very  weak  state , 
had  such  a  violent  fever  by  the  way,  that  I  was  forced 
to  alight  at  a  friend's  house,  and  lie  down  for  some 
time.  Near  night,  was  visited  by  Mr.  Treat,  Mr.  Beaty 
and  his  wife,  and  another  friend.  My  spirits  were  re- 
freshed to  see  them ;  but  I  was  surprised,  and  even 
ashamed,  that  they  had  taken  so  much  pains  as  to  ride 
thirty  or  forty  miles  to  see  me.  Was  able  to  sit  up 
most  of  the  evening;  and  spent  the  time  in  a  very 
comfortable  manner  with  my  friends. 

Oct.  29. — "  Rode  about  ten  miles  with  my  friends 
who  came  yesterday  to  see  me ;  and  then  parted  with 
them  all  but  one,  who  stayed  on  purpose  to  keep  me 
company,  and  cheer  my  spirits. 

Lord's  day,  Nov.  2. — "  Was  unable  to  preach,  and 
scarcely  able  to  sit  up  the  whole  day.  Was  grieved, 
and  almost  sunk,  to  see  my  poor  people  destitute  of  the 
means  of  grace ;  especially  as  they  could  not  read,  and 
so  were  under  great  disadvantages  for  spending  the 
Sabbath  comfortably.  O,  methought,  I  could  be  con- 
tented to  be  sick,  if  my  poor  flock  had  a  faithful  pastor 
to  feed  them  with  spiritual  knowledge !  A  view  of 
their  want  of  this  was  more  afflictive  to  me  than  all  my 
bodily  illness. 

Nov.  3. — "  Being  now  in  so  weak  and  low  a  state 
that  I  was  utterly  incapable  of  performing  my  work, 
and  having  little  hope  of  recovery,  unless  by  much 
riding,  I  thought  it  my  duty  to  take  a  journey  into 
New-England,  and  to  divert  myself  among  my  friends, 
whom  I  had  not  now  seen  for  a  long  time.  Accord- 
ingly I  took  leave  of  my  congregation  this  day.  Be- 


302  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD  [Chap.  IX. 

fore  I  left  my  people,  I  visited  them  all  in  their  respec- 
tive houses,  and  discoursed  to  each  one,  as  I  thought 
most  proper  and  suitable  for  their  circumstances,  and 
found  great  freedom  in  so  doing.  I  scarcely  left  one 
house  but  some  were  in  tears;  and  many  were  not 
only  affected  with  my  being  about  to  leave  them,  but 
with  the  solemn  addresses  I  made  them  upon  divine 
things ;  for  I  was  helped  to  be  fervent  in  spirit  while  I 
discoursed  to  them.  When  I  had  thus  gone  through 
my  congregation,  which  took  me  most  of  the  day, 
and  had  taken  leave  of  them,  and  of  the  school,  I  left 
home,  and  rode  about  two  miles,  to  the  house  where  I 
lived  in  the  summer  past,  and  there  lodged.  Was  re- 
freshed this  evening,  because  I  had  left  my  congrega- 
tion so  well  disposed  and  affected,  and  had  been  so 
much  assisted  in  making  my  farewell  addresses  to  them. 

Nov.  5. — "  Rode  to  Elizabethtown ;  intending,  as 
soon  as  possible,  to  prosecute  my  journey  into  New- 
England;  but  was,  in  an  hour  or  two  after  my  arrival, 
taken  much  worse.  For  near  a  week  I  was  confined  to 
my  chamber,  and  most  of  the  time  to  my  bed ;  and 
then  so  far  revived  as  to  be  able  to  walk  about  the 
house;  but  was  still  confined  within  doors. 

"  In  the  beginning  of  this  extraordinary  turn  of  dis- 
order after  my  coining  to  Elizabethtown,  I  was  en- 
abled, through  mercy,  to  maintain  a  calm,  composed, 
and  patient  spirit,  as  I  had  been  before  from  the  begin- 
ning of  my  weakness.  After  I  had  been  in  Elizabeth- 
town  about  a  fortnight,  and  had  so  far  recovered  that 
I  was  able  to  walk  about  the  house,  upon  a  day  of 
thanksgiving  kept  in  this  place,  I  was  enabled  to  recal 
the  mercies  of  God  in  such  a  manner  as  greatly  affect- 
ed me,  and  filled  me  with  thankfulness  and  praise. 
Especially  my  soul  praised  God  for  his  work  of  grace 


1746.1  AT  ELIZABETHTOWN  303 

among  the  Indians,  and  the  enlargement  of  his  dear 
kingdom.  My  soul  blessed  God  for  what  he  is  in  him- 
self, and  adored  him,  that  he  ever  would  display  him- 
self to  creatures.  I  rejoiced  that  he  was  God,  and 
longed  that  all  should  know  it,  and  feel  it,  and  rejoice 
in  it.  '  Lord,  glorify  thyself,'  was  the  desire  and  cry 
of  my  soul.  O  that  all  people  might  love  and  praise 
the  blessed  God  ;  that  he  might  have  all  possible  honor 
and  glory  from  the  intelligent  world  ! 

"  After  this  comfortable  thanksgiving  season,  I  fre- 
quently enjoyed  freedom,  enlargement,  and  engaged- 
ness  of  soul  in  prayer;  and  was  enabled  to  intercede 
with  God  for  my  dear  congregation,  very  often  for 
every  family,  and  every  person  in  particular.  It  was 
often  a  great  comfort  to  me,  that  I  could  pray  heartily 
to  God  for  those  to  whom  I  could  not  speak,  and  whom 
I  was  not  allowed  to  see.  But,  at  other  times,  my  spi- 
rits were  so  low,  and  my  bodily  vigor  so  much  wasted, 
that  I  had  scarce  any  affections  at  all. 

"In  December,  I  had  revived  so  far  as  to  be  able  to 
walk  abroad  and  visit  my  friends,  and  seemed  to  be 
gaining  health,  in  the  main,  until  Lord's  day,  Decem- 
ber 21,  when  I  attended  public  worship,  and  labored 
much,  at  the  Lord's  table,  to  bring  forth  a  certain  cor- 
ruption, and  have  it  slain,  as  being  an  enemy  to  God 
and  my  own  soul ;  and  could  not  but  hope  that  I  had 
gained  some  strength  against  this,  as  well  as  other  cor- 
ruptions;  and  felt  some  brokenness  of  heart  for  my  sin. 

"After  this,  having  perhaps  taken  some  cold,  I  began 
to  decline  as  to  bodily  health;  and  continued  to  do  so 
till  the  latter  end  of  January,  1747.  Having  a  violent 
cough,  a  considerable  fever,  an  asthmatic  disorder,  and 
no  appetite  for  any  manner  of  food,  nor  any  power  of 
digestion,  I  was  reduced  to  so  low  a  state,  that  my 


304  LIFE    OF   BRA1NERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

friends,  I  believe,  generally  despaired  of  my  life ;  and 
some  of  them,  for  a  considerable  time,  thought  I  could 
scarce  live  a  day.  I  could  then  think  of  nothing  with 
any  application  of  mind,  and  seemed  to  be  in  a  great 
measure  void  of  all  affection,  and  was  exercised  with 
great  temptations ;  but  yet  was  not,  ordinarily,  afraid 
of  death. 

Lord's  day,  Feb.  1. — "  Though  in  a  very  weak  and 
low  state,  I  enjoyed  a  considerable  degree  of  comfort 
and  sweetness  in  divine  things;  and  was  enabled  to 
plead  and  use  arguments  with  God  in  prayer,  I  think, 
with  a  child-like  spirit.  That  passage  of  scripture  oc- 
curred to  my  mind,  and  gave  me  great  assistance,  'If 
ye,  being  evil,  know  how  to  give  good  gifts  to  your 
children,  how  much  more  will  your  heavenly  Father 
give  the  Holy  Spirit  to  them  that  ask  him?'  This  text 
I  was  helped  to  plead,  and  insist  upon;  and  saw  the  di- 
vine faithfulness  engaged  for  dealing  with  me  better 
than  any  earthly  parent  can  do  with  his  child.  This 
season  so  refreshed  my  soul,  that  my  body  seemed  also 
to  be  a  gainer  by  it.  From  this  time  I  began  gradually 
to  amend.  As  I  recovered  some  strength,  vigor,  and 
spirit,  I  found  at  times  some  freedom  and  life  in  the  ex- 
ercises of  derotion,  and  some  longings  after  spirituality 
and  a  life  of  usefulness  to  the  interests  of  the  great  Re- 
deemer. At  other  times,  I  was  awfully  barren  and  life- 
less, and  out  of  frame  for  the  things  of  God ;  so  that  I 
was  ready  often  to  cry  out,  '  O  that  it  were  with  me  as 
in  months  past!'  O  that  God  had  taken  me  away  in 
the  midst  of  my  usefulness,  with  a  sudden  stroke,  that 
I  might  not  have  been  under  a  necessity  of  trifling  away 
time  in  diversions !  O  that  I  had  never  lived  to  spend 
so  much  precious  time  in  so  poor  a  manner,  and  to  so 
little  purpose !  Thus  I  often  reflected,  was  grieved, 


1747.J  AT  ELIZABETHTOWN.  305 

ashamed,  and  even  confounded,  sunk,  and  discouraged. 

Feb.  24. — "I  was  able  to  ride  as  far  as  Newark, 
(having  been  confined  in  Elizabethtown  almost  four 
months,)  and  the  next  day  returned  to  Elizabethtown. 
My  spirits  were  somewhat  refreshed  with  the  ride, 
though  my  body  was  weary. 

Feb.  28. — Was  visited  by  an  Indian  of  my  own  con- 
gregation, who  brought  me  letters,  and  good  news  of 
the  sober  and  good  behavior  of  my  people  in  general. 
This  refreshed  my  soul.  I  could  not  but  retire  and 
bless  God  for  his  goodness;  and  found,  I  trust,  a  truly 
thankful  frame  of  spirit,  that  God  seemed  to  be  build- 
ing up  that  congregation  for  himself. 

March  4. — "  I  met  with  reproof  from  a  friend,  which, 
although  I  thought  I  did  not  deserve  it  from  him,  yet 
was,  I  trust,  blessed  of  God  to  make  me  more  tenderly 
afraid  of  sin,  more  jealous  over  myself,  and  more  con- 
cerned to  keep  both  heart  and  life  pure  and  unblame- 
able.  It  likewise  caused  me  to  reflect  on  my  past  dead- 
ness  and  want  of  spirituality,  and  to  abhor  myself,  and 
look  on  myself  as  most  unworthy.  This  frame  of 
mind  continued  the  next  day;  and  for  several  days 
after,  I  grieved  to  think  that  in  my  necessary  diver- 
sions I  had  not  maintained  more  seriousness,  solemni- 
ty, and  heavenly  affection  and  conversation.  Thus 
my  spirits  were  often  depressed  and  sunk ;  and  yet,  I 
trust,  that  reproof  was  made  to  be  beneficial  to  me. 
'•'•March  11,  being  kept  in  Elizabethtown  as  a  day  of 
fasting  and  prayer,  I  was  able  to  attend  public  worship; 
which  was  the  first  time  I  had  been  able  so  to  do  since 
December  21.  O  how  much  weakness  and  distress  did 
God  carry  me  through  in  this  space  of  time!  But 
having  obtained  help  from  him,'  I  yet  live.  O  that 
I  could  live  more  to  his  glory ! 

Brainerd.  20 


306  LIFE   OF   BRAIN ERD.  [Chap.  IX 

Lord's  day,  March  15. — "  Was  able  again  to  attend 
public  worship,  and  felt  some  earnest  desires  of  being 
restored  to  the  ministerial  work :  felt,  I  think,  some 
spirit  and  life  to  speak  for  God. 

March  18. — "  Rode  out  with  a  design  to  visit  my 
people,  and  the  next  day  arrived  among  them ;  but 
was  under  great  dejection  in  my  journey. 
"On  Friday  morning  I  rose  early,  walked  about 
among  my  people,  enquired  into  their  state  and  con- 
cerns, and  found  an  additional  weight  and  burden  on 
my  spirits,  upon  hearing  some  things  disagreeable.  1 
endeavored  to  go  to  God  with  my  distresses,  and  made 
some  kind  of  lamentable  complaint,  and  in  a  broken 
manner  spread  my  difficulties  before  God ;  but  notwith- 
standing, my  mind  continued  very  gloomy.  -About 
ten  o'clock  I  called  my  people  together,  and  after 
having  explained  and  sung  a  psalm,  I  prayed  with 
them.  There  was  considerable  affection  among  them ; 
I  doubt  not,  in  some  instances,  that  which  was  more 
than  merely  natural." 

This  was  the  last  interview  which  he  ever  had  with 
his  people.  About  eleven  o'clock  the  same  day  he  left 
them,  and  the  next  day  came  to  Elizabethtown. 

March  28. — "Was  taken  this  morning  with  violent 
griping  pains.  These  pains  were  extreme  and  con- 
stant for  several  hours;  so  that  ft  seemed  impossible 
for  me,  without  a  miracle,  to  live  twenty-four  hours  in 
such  distress.  I  lay  confined  to  my  bed  the  whole 
day,  and  in  distressing  pain  all  the  former  part  of  it; 
but  it  pleased  God  to  bless  means  for  the  abatement  of 
my  distress.  Was  exceedingly  weakened  by  this  pain, 
and  continued  so  for  several  days  following;  being  ex- 
ercised with  a  fever,  cough,  and  nocturnal  sweats.  In 
this  distressed  case,  so  long  as  my  head  was  free  of 


1747.  J  AT   ELIZABETHTOWN.  307 

vapory  confusions,  death  appeared  agreeable  to  me. 
f  looked  on  it  as  the  end  of  toils,  and  an  entrance  into 
a  place  'where  the  weary  are  at  rest;'  and  think  I  had 
some  relish  for  the  entertainments  of  the  heavenly 
state ;  so  that  by  these  I  was  allured  and  drawn,  as  well 
as  driven  by  the  fatigues  of  life.  O  how  happy  it  is 
to  be  drawn  by  desires  of  a  state  of  perfect  holiness  ! 

April  4. — "Was  sunk  and  dejected,  very  restless  and 
uneasy,  by  reason  of  the  misimprorement  of  time; 
and  yet  knew  not  what  to  do.  I  longed  to  spend  time 
in  fasting  and  prayer,  that  I  might  be  delivered  from 
indolence  and  coldness  in  the  things  of  God  ;  but,  alas, 
I  had  not  bodily' strength  for  these  exercises!  O  how 
blessed  a  thing  it  is  to  enjoy  peace  of  conscience !  but 
how  dreadful  is  a  want  of  inward  peace  and  com- 
posure of  soul !  It  is  impossible,  I  find,  to  enjoy  this 
happiness  without  redeeming  time,  and  maintaining  a 
spiritual  frame  of  mind. 

Lord's  day,  April  5. — "  It  grieved  me  to  find  myself 
so  inconceivably  barren.  My  soul  thirsted  for  grace ; 
but,  alas,  how  far  was  I  from  obtaining  what  appeared 
to  me  so  exceeding  excellent !  I  was  ready  to  despair 
of  ever  being  a  holy  creature,  and  yet  my  soul  was  de- 
sirous of  '  following  hard  after  God  ;'  but  never  did  I 
see  myself  so  far  from  'having  apprehended,  or  being 
already  perfect,'  as  at  this  time.  The  Lord's  supper 
being  this  day  administered,  I  attended  the  ordinance ; 
and  though  I  saw  in  myself  a  dreadful  emptiness  and 
want  of  grace,  and  saw  myself  as  it  were  at  an  infinite 
distance  from  that  purity  which  becomes  the  gospel, 
yet  at  the  communion,  especially  during  the  distribu- 
tion of  the  bread,  I  enjoyed  some  warmth  of  affection, 
and  felt  a  tender  love  to  the  brethren ;  and,  I  think,  to 
the  glorious  Uedeemer,  the  first-born  among  them.  I 


308  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

endeavored  then  to  bring  forth  mine  and  his  'enemies,' 
and  '  slay  them  before  him ;'  and  found  great  freedom 
in  begging  deliverance  from  this  spiritual  death,  as 
well  as  in  asking  divine  favors  for  my  friends  and  con- 
gregation, and  the  church  of  Christ  in  general. 

April  10. — "This  day  my  brother  John  arrived  at 
Elizabethtown.  Spent  some  time  in  conversation  with 
him  ;  but  was  extremely  weak." 

This  brother  had  been  sent  for  by  the  Correspondents. 
to  take  care  of  and  instruct  Brainerd's  congregation  of 
Indians ;  he  being  obliged  by  his  illness  to  be  absent 
from  them.  He  continued  to  take  care  of  them  till 
Brainerd's  death,  and  was  soon  after  ordained  his  suc- 
cessor in  his  mission,  and  to  the  charge  of  his  congre- 
gation. 

April  17. — "  In  the  evening,  could  not  but  think  that 
God  helped  me  to  'draw  near  to  the  throne  of  grace,' 
though  most  unworthy,  and  gave  me  a  sense  of  his  fa- 
vor ;  which  afforded  me  inexpressible  support  and  en- 
couragement. Though  I  scarcely  dared  to  hope  that 
the  mercy  was  real,  it  appeared  so  great ;  yet  could  not 
but  rejoice  that  ever  God  should  discover  his  recon- 
ciled face  to  such  a  vile  sinner.  Shame  and  confusion, 
at  times,  covered  me  ;  and  then  hope,  and  joy,  and  ad- 
miration of  divine  goodness  gained  the  ascendancy. 
Sometimes  I  could  not  but  admire  the  divine  goodness, 
that  the  Lord  had  not  let  me  fall  into  all  the  grossest 
and  vilest  acts  of  sin. 

April  20. — "  Was  in  a  very  disordered  state,  and  kept 
my  bed  most  of  the  day.  I  enjoyed  a  little  more  com- 
fort than  in  several  of  the  preceding  days.  T7iis  day 
I  arrived  at  tlie  age  of  twenty-nine  years. 

April  21. — "  I  set  out  on  my  journey  for  New  Eng- 


1747.]  IN   CONNECTICUT.  309 

land,  in  order  (if  it  might  be  the  will  of  God)  to  recover 
my  health  by  riding." 

This  proved  his  final  departure  from  New-Jersey. 
He  travelled  slowly,  and  arrived  among  his  friends  at 
East-Haddam,  about  the  beginning  of  May.  There  is 
very  little  account  in  his  diary,  of  the  time  that  passed 
from  his  setting  out  on  his  journey  to  May  10.  He 
speaks  of  his  sometimes  finding  his  heart  rejoicing  in 
the  glorious  perfections  of  God,  and  longing  to  live  to 
him ;  but  complains  of  the  unfixedness  of  his  thoughts, 
and  their  being  easily  diverted  from  divine  subjects, 
and  cries  out  of  his  leanness,  as  testifying  against  him, 
in  the  loudest  manner.  Concerning  those  diversions 
which  he  was  obliged  to  use  for  his  health,  he  says, 
that  he  sometimes  found  he  could  use  diversions  with 
"  singleness  of  heart,"  aiming  at  the  glory  of  God ;  but 
that  he  also  found  there  was  a  necessity  of  great  care 
and  watchfulness,  lest  he  should  lose  that  spiritual  tem- 
per of  mind  in  his  diversions,  and  lest  they  should  de- 
generate into  what  was  merely  selfish,  without  any 
supreme  aim  at  the  glory  of  God  in  them. 

Lord's  day,  May  10. — "  I  could  not  but  feel  some 
measure  of  gratitude  to  God  at  this  time,  that  he  had 
always  disposed  me,  in  my  ministry,  to  insist  on  the 
great  doctrines  of  regeneration,  the  new  creature,faith 
in  Christ,  progressive  sanctification,  supreme  love  to 
God.  living  entirely  to  the  glory  of  God,  being-  not  our 
own.,  and  the  like.  God  thus  helped  me  to  see,  in  the 
surest  manner,  from  time  to  time,  that  these,  and  the 
like  doctrines  necessarily  connected  with  them,  are  the 
only  foundation  of  safety  and  salvation  for  perishing 
sinners  and  that  those  divine  dispositions  which  are 
consonant  hereto,  are  that  holiness,  '  without  which  no 
man  shall  see  the  Lord.'  The  exercise  of  these  God- 


310  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX, 

like  tempers — wherein  the  soul  acts  in  a  kind  of  con- 
cert with  God,  and  would  be  and  do  every  thing  that 
is  pleasing  to  him — I  saw,  would  stand  by  the  soul  in 
a  dying  hour ;  for  God  must,  I  think,  deny  himself,  if 
he  cast  away  Ms  own  image,  even  the  soul  that  is  one 
in  desires  with  himself. 

Lord's  day,  May  17. — "  Spent  the  forenoon  at  home, 
being  unable  to  attend  public  worship.  At  this  time, 
God  gave  me  such  an  affecting  sense  of  my  own  vile- 
ness,  and  the  exceeding  sinfulness  of  my  heart,  that 
there  seemed  to  be  nothing  but  sin  and  corruption 
within  me.  '  Innumerable  evils  compassed  me  about ;' 
my  want  of  spirituality  and  holy  living,  my  neglect  of 
God,  and  living  to  myself.  All  the  abominations  of 
my  heart  and  life  seemed  to  be  open  to  my  view ;  and 
I  had  nothing  to  say,  but,  'God  be  merciful  to  me  a 
sinner.'  Toward  noon,  I  saw  that  the  grace  of  God 
in  Christ  is  infinitely  free  toward  sinners,  such  sinners 
as  I  was.  I  also  saw  that  God  is  the  supreme  good ; 
that  in  his  presence  is  life  ;  and  I  began  to  long  to  die, 
that  I  might  be  with  him,  in  a  state  of  freedom  from 
all  sin.  O  how  a  small  glimpse  of  his  excellency  re- 
freshed my  soul !  O  how  worthy  is  the  blessed  God 
to  be  loved,  adored,  and  delighted  in,  for  himself,  for 
his  own  divine  excellencies  ! 

"Though  I  felt  much  dulness,  and  want  of  a  spirit 
of  prayer  this  week,  yet  I  had  some  glimpses  of  the 
excellency  of  divine  things ;  and  especially  one  morn- 
ing, in  secret  meditation  and  prayer,  the  excellency 
and  beauty  of  holiness,  as  a  likeness  to  the  glorious 
God,  was  so  discovered  to  me,  that  I  began  to  long 
earnestly  to  be  in  that  world  where  holiness  dwells  in 
perfection.  I  seemed  to  long  for  this  perfect  holiness, 
not  so  mi^ch  for  the  sake  of  my  own  happiness,  al- 


1747.]  IN   NORTHAMPTON.  311 

though  I  saw  clearly  that  this  was  the  greatest,  yea,  the 
only  happiness  of  the  soul,  as  that  I  might  please  God, 
Jive  entirely  to  him,  and  glorify  him  to  the  utmost 
stretch  of  my  rational  powers  and  capacities. 

fjord's  day,  May  24. — "  (At  Long-Meadow,  in  Mas- 
sachusetts.) Could  not  but  think,  as  I  have  often  re- 
marked to  others,  that  much  more  of  true  religion  con- 
sists in  deep  humility,  brokenness  of  heart,  and  an  abas- 
ing sense  of  barrenness  and  want  of  grace  and  holiness, 
than  most  who  are  called  Christians  imagine  ;  especi- 
ally those  who  have  been  esteemed  the  converts  of  the 
late  day.  Many  seem  to  know  of  no  other  religion 
but  elevated  joys  and  affections,  arising  only  from  some 
flights  of  imagination,  or  some  suggestion  made  to  their 
mind,  of  Christ  being  their's,  God  loving  them,  and  the 
like." 

On  Thursday,  May  28,  he  came  from  Long-Meadow 
to  Northampton,  appearing  vastly  better  than,  by  his 
account,  he  had  been  in  the  winter— indeed  so  well, 
that  he  was  able  to  ride  twenty-five  miles  in  a  day,  and 
to  walk  half  a  mile ;  and  appeared  cheerful,  and  free 
from  melancholy ;  but  yet  he  was  undoubtedly,  at  that 
time,  in  a  confirmed,  incurable  consumption. 

I  had  had  much  opportunity,  before  this,  of  particu- 
lar information  concerning  him,  from  many  who  were 
•well  acquainted  with  him  ;  and  had  enjoyed  a  personal 
interview  with  him,  at  New-Haven,  near  four  years 
before,  as  has  been  already  mentioned ;  but  now  I  had 
opportunity  for  a  more  full  acquaintance.  I  found  him 
remarkably  sociable,  pleasant,  and  entertaining  in  his 
conversation ;  yet  solid,  savory,  spiritual,  and  very 
profitable.  He  appeared  meek,  modest,  and  humble ;  far 
from  any  stiffness,  moroseness,  or  affected  singularity 
in  speech  or  behavior,  and  seeming  to  dislike  all  such 


.    . 

312  UFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.LX. 

things.  We  enjoyed  not  only  the  benefit  of  his  con- 
versation, but  had  the  comfort  and  advantage  of  join- 
ing with  him  in  family  prayer,  from  time  to  time.  His 
manner  of  praying  was  very  agreeable,  most  becom- 
ing a  worm  of  the  dust  and  a  disciple  of  Christ,  ad- 
dressing an  infinitely  great  and  holy  God,  the  Father 
of  mercies ;  not  with  florid  expressions,  or  a  studied 
eloquence ;  not  with  any  intemperate  vehemence,  or 
indecent  boldness.  It  was  at  the  greatest  distance  from 
any  appearance  of  ostentation,  and  from  every  thing 
that  might  look  as  though  he  meant  to  recommend 
himself  to  those  that  were  abouthim,  or  set  himself  off  to 
their  acceptance.  It  was  free  also  from  vain  repetitions; 
without  impertinent  excursions,  or  needless  multiply- 
ing of  words.  He  expressed  himself  with  the  strictest 
propriety,  with  weight  and  pungency ;  and  yet,  what 
his  lips  uttered  seemed  to  flow  from  the  fulness  of  his 
heart,  as  deeply  impressed  with  a  great  and  solemn 
sense  of  our  necessities,  unworthiness,  and  dependence, 
and  of  God's  infinite  greatness,  excellency  and  suffi- 
ciency, rather  than  merely  from  a  warm  and  fruitful 
brain,  pouring  out  good  expressions.  I  know  not  that 
I  ever  heard  him  so  much  as  ask  a  blessing  or  return 
thanks  at  table,  but  there  was  something  remarkable  to 
be  observed  both  in  the  matter  and  manner  of  the  per- 
formance. In  his  prayers,  he  insisted  much  on  the 
prosperity  of  Zion,  the  advancement  of  Christ's  king- 
dom in  the  world,  and  the  flourishing  and  propagation 
of  religion  among  the  Indians.  And  he  generally  made 
it  one  petition  in  his  prayer,  "  that  we  might  not  outlive 
our  usefulness." 

Lord's  day,  May 31. — "(At  Northampton.)  I  had 
little  inward  sweetness  in  religion  most  of  the  week 
past ;  not  realizing  and  beholding  spiritually  the  glory 


*>• 

1747.]  IN   NORTHAMPTON.  313 

of  God  and  the  blessed  Redeemer  ;  from  whence  al- 
ways arise  my  comforts  and  joys  in  religion,  if  I  have 
any  at  all ;  and  if  I  cannot  so  behold  the  excellencies 
and  perfections  of  God,  as  to  cause  me  to  rejoice  in  him 
for  what  he  is  in  himself,  I  have  no  solid  foundation 
for  joy.  To  rejoice,  only  because  I  apprehend  I  have 
an  interest  in  Christ,  and  shall  be  finally  saved,  is  a  poor 
mean  business  indeed." 

This  week  he  consulted  Dr.  Mather,  at  my  house, 
concerning  his  illness;  who  plainly  told  him,  that  there 
were  great  evidences  of  his  being  in  a  confirmed  con- 
sumption, and  that  he  could  give  him  no  encourage- 
ment that  he  would  ever  recover.  But  it  seemed  not 
to  occasion  the  least  discomposure  in  him,  nor  to  make 
any  manner  of  alteration  as  to  the  cheerfulness  and 
serenity  of  his  mind,  or  the  freedom  or  pleasantness  of 
his  conversation.  *".*.  *. 

Lord's  day,  June  7. — "  My  attention  was  greatly  en- 
gaged, and  my  soul  so  drawn  forth  this  day,  by  what 
1  heard  of  the  '  exceeding  preciousness  of  the  saving 
grace  of  God's  Spirit,'  that  it  almost  overcame  my 
body,  in  my  weak  state.  I  saw  that  true  grace  is  ex- 
ceedingly precious  indeed ;  that  it  is  very  rare ;  and 
that  there  is  but  a  very  small  degree  of  it,  even  where 
the  reality  of  it  is  to  be  found ;  at  least  I  saw  this  to  be 
my  case. 

"In  the  preceding  week,  I  enjoyed  some  comforta- 
ble seasons  of  meditation.  One  morning,  the  cause  of 
God  appeared  exceedingly  precious  to  me.  The  Re- 
deemer's kingdom  is  all  that  is  valuable  in  the  earth, 
and  I  could  not  but  long  for  the  promotion  of  it  in  the 
world.  I  saw  also,  that  this  cause  is  God's ;  that  he 
has  an  infinitely  greater  regard  and  concern  for  it  than 
[  could  possibly  have  ;  that  if  I  have  any  true  love  to 


314  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

this  blessed  interest,  it  is  only  a  drop  derived  from  that 
ocean.  Hence  I  was  ready  to  'lift  up  my  head  with 
joy,'  and  conclude,  'Well,  if  God's  cause  be  so  dear 
and  precious  to  him,  he  will  promote  it.'  Thus  I  did, 
as  it  were,  rest  on  God  that  he  would  surely  promote 
that  which  was  so  agreeable  to  his  own  will ;  though 
the  time  when,  must  still  be  left  to  his  sovereign  plea- 
sure." 

He  was  advised  by  physicians  still  to  continue  rid- 
ing, as  what  would  tend,  above  any  other  means,  to 
prolong  his  life.  He  was  at  a  loss,  for  some  time,  which 
way  to  bend  his  course ;  but  finally  determined  to  ride 
from  hence  to  Boston  ;  we  having  concluded  that  one 
of  our  family  should  go  with  him,  and  be  helpful  to 
him  in  his  weak  and  low  state. 

June  9. — "  I  set  out  on  a  journey  from  Northampton 
to  Boston.  Travelled  slowly,  and  got  some  acquaint- 
ance with  a  number  of  ministers  on  the  road. 

"Having  now  continued  to  ride  for  a  considerable 
time,  I  felt  much  better  than  I  had  formerly  done,  and 
found,  that  in  proportion  to  the  prospect  I  had  of  being 
restored  to  a  state  of  usefulness,  I  desired  the  continu- 
ance of  life ;  but  now  death  appeared  inconceivably 
more  desirable  to  me  than  a  useless  life ;  yet,  blessed 
be  God,  I  found  my  heart,  at  times,  fully  resigned  and 
reconciled  to  this  greatest  of  afflictions,  if  God  saw  fit 
thus  to  deal  with  me. 

June  12. — "  I  arrived  in  Boston  this  day,  somewhat 
fatigued  with  my  journey.  Observed  that  there  is  no 
rest  but  in  God ;  fatigues  of  body,  and  anxieties  of 
mind,  attend  us  both  in  town  and  country :  no  place  is 
exempt. 

Lord's  day,  June  14.— "I  enjoyed  some  enlarge- 
ment and  sweetness  in  family  prayer,  as  well  as  in  se- 


1747.1  AT   BOSTON.  315 

cret  exercises ;  God  appeared  excellent,  his  ways  full 
of  pleasure  and  peace,  and  all  I  wanted  was  a  spirit  of 
holy  fervency  to  live  to  him. 

June  17. — "  This  and  the  two  preceding  days  I  spent 
mainly  in  visiting  the  ministers  of  the  town,  and  was 
treated  with  great  respect  by  them. 

June  18. — "I  was  taken  exceedingly  ill,  and  brought 
to  the  gates  of  death,  by  the  breaking  of  small  ulcers 
in  my  lungs,  as  my  physician  supposed.  In  this  ex- 
tremely weak  state  I  continued  for  several  weeks  ;  and 
was  frequently  reduced  so  low  as  to  be  utterly  speech- 
less, and  not  so  much  as  to  whisper  a  word.  Even  af- 
ter I  had  so  far  revived  as  to  walk  about  the  house,  and 
to  step  out  of  doors,  I  was  exercised  every  day  with  a 
faint  turn,  which  continued  usually  four  or  five  hours; 
at  which  times,  though  I  was  not  so  utterly  speechless 
but  that  I  could  say  yes  or  no,  yet  I  could  not  con- 
verse at  all,  nor  speak  one  sentence,  without  making 
stops  for  breath  ;  and  a  number  of  times  my  friends 
gathered  round  my  bed,  to  see  me  breathe  my  last, 
which  they  expected  every  moment,  as  I  myself  also  did. 

"How  I  was,  the  first  day  or  two  of  my  illness,  with 
regard  to  the  exercise  of  reason,  I  scarcely  know.  I 
believe  I  was  somewhat  shattered  with  the  violence 
of  the  fever  at  times  ;  but  the  third  day  of  my  illness, 
and  constantly  afterward,  for  four  or  five  weeks  to- 
gether, I  enjoyed  as  much  serenity  of  mind,  and  clear- 
ness of  thought,  as  perhaps  ever  in  my  life.  I  think 
that  my  mind  never  penetrated  with  so  much  ease  and 
freedom  into  divine  things,  as  at  this  time  ;  and  I  never 
felt  so  capable  of  demonstrating  the  truth  of  many  im- 
portant doctrines  of  the  Gospel  as  now.  As  I  saw  clearly 
thetruth  of  those  great  doctrines,  which  are  justly  styled 
the  doctrines  of  grace  ;  so  I  saw  with  no  less  clearness, 


316  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX 

that  the  essence  of  religion  consisted  in  the  soul's  confor- 
mityto  God,  and  acting  above  all  selfish  views  forhis^/o- 
ry,  longing  to  be^br  him,  to  live  to  him,  and  please  and 
honor  him  in  all  things :  and  this  from  a  clear  view  of 
his  infinite  excellency  and  worthiness  in  himself,  to  be 
loved,  adored,  worshipped,  and  served  by  all  intelli- 
gent creatures.  Thus  I  saw,  that  when  a  soul  loves  God 
with  a  supreme  love,  he  therein  acts  like  the  blessed 
God  himself,  who  most  justly  loves  himself  in  that 
manner.  So  when  God's  interest  and  his  are  become 
one,  and  he  longs  that  God  should  be  glorified,  and  re- 
joices to  think  that  he  is  unchangeably  possessed  of 
the  highest  glory  and  blessedness,  herein  also  he  acts 
in  conformity  to  God.  In  like  manner,  when  the  soul 
is  fully  resigned  to,  and  rests  satisfied  and  content  with 
the  divine  will,  here  it  is  also  conformed  to  God. 

"  I  saw  farther,  that  as  this  divine  temper,  by  which 
the  soul  exalts  God,  and  treads  self  in  the  dust,  is 
wrought  in  the  soul  by  God's  discovering  his  own  glo- 
rious perfections  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ  to  it  by  the 
special  influences  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  so  he  cannot  but 
have  regard  to  it  as  his  own  work ;  and  as  it  is  his 
image  in  his  soul,  he  cannot  but  take  delight  in  it. 
Then  I  saw  again,  that  if  God  should  slight  and  reject 
his  own  moral  image,  he  must  needs  deny  himself; 
which  he  cannot  do.  And  thus  I  saw  the  stability  and 
infallibility  of  this  religion ;  and  that  those  who  are  tru- 
ly possessed  of  it,  have  the  most  complete  and  satisfy- 
ing evidence  of  their  being  interested  in  all  the  bene- 
fits of  Christ's  redemption,  having  their  hearts  conform- 
ed to  him ;  and  that  these,  and  these  only,  are  qualified 
for  the  employments  and  entertainments  of  God's  king- 
dom of  glory ;  as  none  but  these  have  any  relish  for 
the  business  of  heaven,  which  is  to  ascribe  glory  to 


1747.J  AT   BOSTON.  317 

God,  and  not  to  themselves  ;  and  that  God  (though  1 
would  speak  it  with  great  reverence  of  his  name  and 
perfection)  cannot,  without  denying  himself,  finally 
cast  such  away. 

"  The  next  thing  I  had  then  to  do,  was  to  inquire 
whether  this  was  my  religion  ;  and  here  God  was  pleas- 
ed to  help  me  to  the  most  easy  remembrance  and  criti- 
cal review  of  what  had  passed  in  course,  of  a  religious 
nature,  through  several  of  the  latter  years  of  my  life, 
Although  I  could  discover  much  corruption  attending 
my  best  duties,  many  selfish  views  and  carnal  ends, 
much  spiritual  pride  and  self-exaltation,  and  innume- 
rable other  evils  which  compassed  me  about,  yet  God 
was  pleased,  as  I  was  reviewing,  quickly  to  put  this 
question  out  of  doubt,  by  showing  me  that  1  had,  from 
time  to  time,  acted  above  the  utmost  influence  of  mere 
self-love  ;  that  I  had  longed  to  please  and  glorify  him, 
as  my  highest  happiness,  &c.  This  review  was,  through 
grace,  attended  with  a  present  feeling  of  the  same  di- 
vine temper  of  mind.  I  felt  now  pleased  to  think  of 
the  glory  of  God,  and  longed  for  heaven,  as  a  state 
wherein  I  might  glorify  him  perfectly,  rather  than  a 
place  of  happiness  for  myself.  This  feeling  of  the  love 
of  God  in  my  heart,  which  I  trust  the  Spirit  of  God  ex- 
cited in  me  afresh,  was  sufficient  to  give  me  a  full  sa- 
tisfaction, and  make  me  long,  as  I  had  many  times  be- 
fore done,  to  be  with  Christ. 

"  As  God  was  pleased  to  afford  me  clearness  of 
thought,  and  composure  of  mind,  almost  continually 
for  several  weeks,  under  my. great  weakness;  so  he 
enabled  me,  in  some  measure,  to  improve  my  time,  as 
I  hope,  to  valuable  purposes.  I  was  enabled  to  write 
n  number  of  important  letters  to  friends  in  remote 
places ;  and  sometimes  I  wrote  when  I  was  speechless. 


318  LIFE    OF    BKAINERD.  [Chap.   IX 

i.  e.  unable  to  maintain  conversation  with  any  body ; 
though  perhaps  I  was  able  to  speak  a  word  or  two  so 
as  to  be  heard. 

"  At  this  season  also,  while  I  was  confined  at  Boston, 
I  read  with  care  and  attention  some  papers  of  old  Mr. 
Shepard,  lately  come  to  light,  and  designed  for  the 
press;  and,  as  I  was  desired  and  greatly  urged,  made 
some  corrections  where  the  sense  was  left  dark  for 
want  of  a  word  or  two.  Beside  this,  I  had  many  vi- 
sitants, with  whom,  when  I  was  able  to  speak,  I  always 
conversed  of  the  things  of  religion,  and  was  peculiarly 
assisted  in  distinguishing  between  the  true  and  false 
religion  of  the  times.  There  is  scarcely  any  subject 
which  has  been  matter  of  controversy  of  late,  but  I  was 
at  one  time  or  other  compelled  to  discuss  and  show  my 
opinion  respecting  it,  and  that  frequently  before  num- 
bers of  people.  Especially,  I  discoursed  repeatedly  on 
the  nature  and  necessity  of  that  humiliation,  self-ewp- 
tiness,  or  full  conviction  of  a  person's  being  utterly 
undone  in  himself,  which  is  necessary  in  order  to  a 
saving  faith ;  and  the  extreme  difficulty  of  being  brought 
to  this,  and  the  great  danger  there  is  of  persons  taking 
up  with  some  self-righteous  appearances  of  it.  The 
danger  of  this  I  especially  dwelt  upon,  being  persuaded 
that  multitudes  perish  in  this  hidden  way ;  and  because 
so  little  is  said  from  most  pulpits  to  discover  any  dan- 
ger here ;  so  that  persons  being  never  effectually  brought 
to  die  in  themselves,  are  never  truly  united  to  Christ, 
and  so  perish.  I  also  discoursed  much  on  what  I  take 
to  be  the  essence  of  true  religion  ;  endeavoring  plainly 
to  describe  that  god-like  temper  and  disposition  of  soul, 
and  that  holy  conversation  and  behavior,  which  may 
justly  claim  the  honor  of  having  God  for  its  original 
and  patron.  I  have  reason  to  hope  God  blessed  my 


1747.]  AT   BOSTON.  319 

way  of  discoursing  and  distinguishing  to  some,  both 
ministers  and  people ;  so  that  my  time  was  not  wholly 
lost." 

He  was  visited  while  in  Boston  by  many,  who  showed 
him  uncommon  respect,  and  appeared  highly  pleased 
and  entertained  with  his  conversation.  Beside  being 
honored  with  the  company  and  respect  of  ministers  of 
the  town,  he  was  visited  by  several  ministers  from  va- 
rious parts  of  the  country.  He  took  all  opportunities 
to  discourse  on  the  peculiar  nature  and  distinguishing 
characteristics  of  true,  spiritual,  and  vital  religion  ;  and 
to  bear  his  testimony  against  the  various  false  appear- 
ances of  it,  consisting  in,  or  arising  from  impressions 
on  the  imagination,  sudden  and  supposed  immediate 
suggestions  of  truth  not  contained  in  the  Scripture, 
and  that  faith  which  consists  primarily  in  a  person's 
believing  that  Christ  died  for  him  in  particular,  &c. 
What  he  said  was,  for  the  most  part,  heard  with  un- 
common attention  and  regard  ;  and  his  discourses  and 
reasonings  appeared  manifestly  to  have  great  weight 
and  influence  with  many  with  whom  he  conversed, 
both  ministers  and  others. 

The  Commissioners  in  Boston,  of  the  Society  in 
London  for  propagating  the  Gospel  in  New-England 
and  parts  adjacent,  having  received  a  legacy  of  the 
late  Rev.  Dr.  Daniel  "Williams,  of  London,  for  the  sup- 
port of  two  missionaries  to  the  heathen,  were  pleased, 
while  he  was  in  Boston,  to  consult  him  about  a  mission 
to  those  Indians  called  the  Six  Nations,  particularly  re- 
specting the  qualifications  requisite  in  a  missionary  to 
those  Indians.  They  were  so  satisfied  with  his  senti- 
ments on  this  head,  and  had  such  confidence  in  his 
faithfulness,  his  judgment  and  discretion  in  things  of 
this  nature,  that  they  desired  him  to  undertake  to  find 


320  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   IX. 

and  recommend  two  persons  fit  to  be  employed  in  this 
business ;  and  very  much  left  the  matter  with  him. 

BRAINERD'S  restoration  from  his  extremely  low  state 
in  Boston,  so  as  to  go  abroad  again,  and  to  travel,  was 
very  unexpected  to  him  and  his  friends.  My  daughter, 
who  was  with  him,  writes  thus  concerning  him,  in  a 
letter  dated  June  23  : 

"  On  Thursday,  he  was  very  ill  with  a  violent  fever, 
and  extreme  pain  in  his  head  and  breast,  and  at  turns 
delirious.  So  he  remained  till  Saturday  evening,  when 
he  seemed  to  be  in  the  agonies  of  death;  the  family  was 
up  with  him  till  one  or  two  o'clock,  expecting  that 
every  hour  would  be  his  last.  On  Sabbath  day  he  was 
a  little  revived,  his  head  was  better,  but  he  was  very 
full  of  pain,  exceeding  sore  at  his  breast,  and  had  great 
difficulty  in  breathing.  Yesterday  he  was  better.  Last 
night  he  slept  but  little.  This  morning  he  was  much 
worse.  Dr.  Pynchon  says,  he  has  no  hope  of  his  life ; 
nor  does  he  think  it  likely  that  he  will  ever  come  out 
of  the  chamber ;  though  he  says  he  may  be  able  to 
come  to  Northampton." 

In  another  letter,  dated  June  29,  she  says  :—"  Mr. 
BRAINERD  has  not  so  much  pain,  nor  fever,  since  I  last 
wrote,  as  before ;  yet  he  is  extremely  weak  and  low, 
and  very  faint,  expecting  every  day  will  be  his  last. 
He  says  it  is  impossible  for  him  to  live,  for  he  has 
hardly  vigor  enough  to  draw  his  breath.  I  went  this 
morning  into  town,  and  when  I  came  home,  Mr.  Brom- 
field  said  he  never  expected  I  should  see  him  alive,  for 
he  lay  two  hours,  as  they  thought,  dying ;  one  could 
scarcely  tell  whether  he  was  alive  or  not;  he  was  not 
able  to  speak  for  some  time ;  but  now  is  much  as  he 
was  before.  The  doctor  thinks  he  will  drop  away  in 
such  a  turn.  Mr.  BRAINERD  says,  he  never  felt  any 


747.]  AT    BOSTON.  321 

thing  so  much  like  dissolution  as  that  he  felt  to-day; 
and  says,  he  never  had  any  conception  of  its  being 
oossible  for  any  creature  to  be  alive,  and  yet  so  weak 
as  he  is  from  day  to  day.  Dr.  Pynchon  says,  he  shontd 
not  be  surprised  if  he  should  so  recover  as  to  live  half 
a  year ;  nor  would  it  surprise  him  if  he  should  die  in 
naif  a  day.  Since  I  began  to  write,  he  is  not  so  well, 
having  had  a  faint  turn  again  :  yet  he  is  patient  and  re- 
signed, having  no  distressing  fears,  but  the  contrary." 

He  expressed  himself  to  one  of  my  neighbors,  who 
at  that  time  saw  him  in  Boston,  that  he  was  as  certain- 
ly a  dead  man,  as  if  he  was  shot  through  the  heart. 
Bat  so  it  was  ordered  in  divine  Providence,  that  the 
strength  of  nature  held  out,  and  he  revived,  to  the  as- 
tonishment of  all  who  knew  his  case. 

After  he  began  to  revive,  he  was  visited  by  his 
youngest  brother,  ISRAEL,  a  student  at  Yale  College ; 
who  having  heard  of  his  extreme  illness,  went  from 
thence  to  Boston,  in  order  to  see  him;  if  he  might  find 
him  alive,  which  he  but  little  expected.  BRAINERD 
greatly  rejoiced  to  see  his  brother,  especially  because 
he  had  desired  an  opportunity  of  some  religious  con- 
versation with  him  before  he  died.  But  this  meeting 
was  attended  with  sorrow,  as  his  brother  brought  to 
him  the  tidings  of  his  sister  Spencer's  death,  at  Had- 
dam ;  a  sister,  between  whom  and  him  had  long  sub- 
sisted a  peculiarly  dear  affection,  and  much  intimacy 
in  spiritual  things,  and  whose  house  he  used  to  make 
his  own  when  he  went  to  Haddam,  his  native  place. 
But  he  had  a  confidence  of  her  being  gone  to  heaven, 
and  an  expectation  of  soon  meeting  her  there.  His 
brother  continued  with  him  till  he  left  the  town,  and 
came  with  him  from  thence  to  Northampton.  Con- 
cerning the  last  Sabbath  Brainerd  spent  in  Boston,  he 
writes  in  his  diary  as  follows : 

Brainenl.  21 


322  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

Lord's  day,  July  19. — "  I  was  just  able  to  attend 
public  worship,  being  carried  to  the  house  of  God  in  a 
chaise.  Heard  Dr.  Sewall  preach  in  the  forenoon: 
partook  of  the  Lord's  supper  at  this  time.  In  this  or- 
dinance I  saw  astonishing  divine  wisdom  displayed, 
such  wisdom  as  clearly  required  the  tongues  of  angels 
and  glorified  saints  to  celebrate.  It  seemed  to  me  that 
I  never  should  do  any  thing  at  adoring  the  infinite 
wisdom  of  God,  discovered  in  the  contrivance  of  man's 
redemption,  until  I  arrived  at  a  world  of  perfection ; 
yet  I  could  not  help  striving  '  to  call  upon  my  soul, 
and  all  within  me,  to  bless  the  name  of  God.'  In  the 
afternoon,  heard  Mr.  Prince  preach.  I  saw  more  of 
God  in  the  wisdom  discovered  in  the  /plan  of  man's 
redemption,  than  I  saw  of  any  other  of  his  perfections, 
through  the  whole  day." 

The  next  day,  having  bid  an  affectionate  farewell  to 
his  friends,  he  set  out  in  the  cool  of  the  afternoon,  on 
his  journey  to  Northampton,  attended  by  his  brother 
and  my  daughter,  who  went  with  him  to  Boston ;  and 
would  have  been  accompanied  out  of  the  town  by  a 
number  of  gentlemen,  besides  the  respected  person 
who  gave  him  his  company  for  some  miles  on  that 
occasion,  as  a  testimony  of  their  esteem  and  respect, 
had  not  his  aversion  to  any  thing  of  pomp  and  show 
prevented  it. 

Jidy-25. — "I  arrived  here,  at  Northampton;  having 
set  out  from  Boston  on  Monday,  about  4  o'clock  P.  M. 
In  this  journey  I  usually  rode  about  sixteen  miles  a 
day.  Was  sometimes  extremely  tired  and  faint  on  the 
road,  so  that  it  seemed  impossible  for  me  to  proceed 
any  further;  at  other  times  I  was  considerably  better, 
and  felt  some  freedom  both  of  body  and  mind. 

Lord's  day,  July  26. — "  This  day  I  saw  clearly  that 


1747.]  AT  NORTHAMPTON.  323 

I  should  never  be  happy ;  yea,  that  God  himself  could 
not  make  me  happy,  unless  I  could  be  in  a  capacity  to 
'  please  and  glorify  him  for  ever.'  Take  away  this, 
and  admit  me  in  all  the  fine  heavens  that  can  be  con- 
ceived of  by  men  or  angels,  and  I  should  still  be  mi- 
serable for  ever." 

Though  he  had  so  revived  as  to  be  able  to  travel 
thus  far,  yet  he  manifested  no  expectation  of  recovery. 
He  supposed,  as  his  physician  did,  that  his  being 
brought  so  near  to  death  at  Boston,  was  owing  to  the 
breaking  of  ulcers  in  his  lungs.  He  told  me  that  he 
had  several  such  ill  turns  before,  only  not  to  so  high 
a  degree,  but,  as  he  supposed,  owing  to  the  same  cause, 
viz.  the  breaking  of  ulcers;  that  he  was  brought  lower 
and  lower  every  time;  that  it  appeared  to  him,  that  in 
his  last  sickness  he  was  brought  as  low  as  he  could  be, 
and  yet  live ;  and  that  he  had  not  the  least  expectation 
of  surviving  the  next  return  of  this  breaking  of  ulcers ; 
he  still  appeared  perfectly  calm  in  the  prospect  of 
death. 

On  Wednesday  morning,  the  week  after  he  came  to 
Northampton,  his  brother  Israel  left  us  for  New-Haven, 
and  ne  took  leave  of  him,  never  expecting  to  see  him 
agiiin  in  this  world. 

When  BRMNERD  came  hither,  he  had  so  much  strength 
as  to  be  able,  from  day  to  day,  to  ride  out  two  or  three 
miles,  and  sometimes  to  pray  in  the  family ;  but  from 
this  time  he  gradually  decayed,  becoming  weaker  and 
weaker.  As  long  as  he  lived,  he  spoke  much  of  that 
future  prosperity  of  Z ion  which  is  so  often  foretold  and 
promised  in  the  Scriptures ;  it  was  a  theme  upon  which 
he  delighted  to  dwell;  and  his  mind  seemed  to  be  car- 
ried fortli  with  earnest  concern  about  it,  and  intense 
desires  that  religion  might  speedily  and  abundantly  re- 


824  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX 

vive  and  flourish ;  yea,  the  nearer  death  advanced,  and 
the  more  the  symptoms  of  its  approach  increased,  still 
the  more  did  his  mind  seem  to  be  taken  up  with  this 
subject.  He  told  me,  when  near  his  end,  that  "he 
never,  in  all  his  life,  had  his  mind  so  led  forth  in  de- 
sires and  earnest  prayers  for  the  flourishing  of  Christ's 
kingdom  on  earth,  as  since  he  was  brought  so  exceed- 
ing low  at  Boston."  He  seemed  much  to  wonder  that 
there  appeared  no  more  of  a  disposition  in  ministers 
and  people  to  pray  for  the  flourishing  of  religion 
through  the  world;  that  so  little  a  part  of  their  prayers 
was  generally  taken  up  about  it,  in  their  families  and 
elsewhere.  Particularly,  he  several  times  expressed 
his  wonder  that  there  appeared  no  more  forwardness 
to  comply  with  the  proposal  lately  made,  in  a  Memo- 
rial from  a  number  of  ministers  in  Scotland,  and  sent 
over  into  America,  for  united  extraordinary  prayer, 
amongst  Christ's  ministers  and  people,  for  the  coming 
of  Christ's  kingdom :  and  sent  it  as  his  dying  advice  to 
his  own  congregation,  that  they  should  practise  agree- 
ably to  that  proposal. 

Though  he  was  constantly  exceeding  weak,  yel 
there  appeared  in  him  a  continual  care  well  to  improve 
time,  and  fill  it  up  with  something  that  might  be  pro- 
fitable, and  in  some  respect  for  the  glory  of  God  or  the 
good  of  men ;  either  profitable  conversation,  or  writing 
letters  to  absent  friends ;  or  noting  something  in  his 
diary ;  or  looking  over  his  former  writings,  correcting 
them,  and  preparing  them  to  be  left  in  the  hands  of 
others  at  his  death ;  or  giving  some  directions  concern- 
ing the  future  management  of  his  people ;  or  in  secret 
devotions.  He  seemed  never  to  be  easy,  however  il), 
if  he  was  not  doing  something  for  God,  or  in  his  ser- 
vice. After  he  came  hither,  he  wrote  a  preface  to  a 


1747.J  AT   NORTHAMPTON.  326 

diary  of  Mr.  SHEPARD,  contained  in  the  papers  above 
mentioned,  which  has  since  been  published. 

In  his  diary  for  Lord's  day,  August  9,  he  speaks  of 
longing  desires  after  death,  through  a  sense  of  the  ex- 
cellency of  a  state  of  perfection.  In  his  diary  for 
Lord's  day,  August  16,  he  speaks  of  his  having  so 
much  refreshment  of  soul  in  the  house  of  God,  that  il 
seemed  also  to  refresh  his  body.  And  this  is  not  only 
noted  in  his  diary,  but  was  very  observable  to  others  ; 
it  was  apparent,  not  only  that  his  mind  was  exhilarated 
with  inward  consolation,  but  also  that  his  animal  spirits 
and  bodily  strength  seemed  to  be  remarkably  restored, 
as  though  he  had  forgot  his  illness.  But  this  was  the 
last  time  that  ever  he  attended  public  worship  on  the 
Sabbath. 

On  Tuesday  morning  that  week,  as  I  was  absent  on 
a  journey,  he  prayed  with  my  family,  but  not  without 
much  difficulty,  for  want  of  bodily  strength  ;  and  this 
was  the  last  family  prayer  that  he  ever  made.  He  had 
been  wont,  till  now,  frequently  to  ride  out,  two  or  three 
miles  :  but  this  week,  on  Thursday,  was  the  last  time 
he  ever  did  so. 

Lortfs  day,  Aug.  23. — "  This  morning  I  was  con- 
siderably refreshed  with  the  thought,  yea,  the  hope 
and  expectation  of  the  enlargement  of  Christ's  king- 
dom ;  and  I  could  not  but  hope  that  the  time  was  at 
hand,  when  Babylon  the  great  would  fall,  and  '  rise  no 
more.'  This  led  me  to  some  spiritual  meditations, 
which  were  very  refreshing  to  me.  I  was  unable  to 
attend  public  worship  either  part  of  the  day  ;  but  God 
was  pleased  to  afford  me  fixedness  and  satisfaction  in 
divine  thoughts.  Nothing  so  refreshes  my  soul,  as  when 
I  can  go  to  God,  yea,  '  to  God  my  exceeding  joy 

og  Brainerd. 


326  an  OP  BRAINEHD.  [  Chap.  IX 

When  he  is  such  to  my  soul,  O  how  unspeakably  de- 
lightful is  this ! 

"  In  the  week  past  I  had  divers  turns  of  inward  re- 
freshing, though  my  body  was  inexpressibly  weak,  fol- 
lowed continually  with  agues  and  fevers.  Sometimes 
my  soul  centered  in  God,  as  my  only  portion ;  and  I 
felt  that  I  should  be  for  ever  unhappy,  if  He  did  not 
reign.  I  saw  the  sweetness  and  happiness  of  being  his 
subject,  at  his  disposal.  This  made  all  my  difficulties 
quickly  vanish." 

Till  this  week  he  had  been  wont  to  lodge  in  a  room 
above  stairs,  but  he  now  grew  so  weak,  that  he  was  no 
longer  able  to  go  up  stairs  and  down.  Friday,  August 
28,  was  the  last  time  he  ever  went  above  stairs;  hence- 
forward he  betook  himself  to  a  lower  room. 

On  Wednesday,  Sept.  2,  being  the  day  of  our  public 
lecture,  he  seemed  to  be  refreshed  with  seeing  the 
neighboring  ministers  who  came  hither  to  the  lecture, 
and  expressed  a  great  desire  once  more  to  go  to  the 
house  of  God  on  that  day ;  and  accordingly  rode  to  the 
meeting,  and  attended  divine  service,  while  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Woodbridge,  of  Hatfield,  preached.  He  signified 
that  he  supposed  it  to  be  the  last  time  he  should  ever 
attend  public  worship ;  as  it  proved.  Indeed  it  was  the 
last  time  that  he  ever  went  out  of  our  gate. 

On  the  Saturday  evening  next  following,  he  was  un- 
expectedly visited  by  his  brother,  Mr.  JOHN  BRAINERD, 
who  came  to  see  h.m  from  New-Jersey.  He  was  much 
refreshed  by  this  unexpected  visit,  this  brother  being 
peculiarly  dear  to  him  ;  and  he  seemed  to  rejoice  in  a 
devout  and  solemn  manner,  to  see  him,  and  to  hear 
the  comfortable  tidings  Which  he  brought  concerning 
the  state  of  his  dear  congregation  of  Christian  Indians. 
A  circumstance  of  this  visit  of  which  he  was  exceed- 


1747.J  AT  NORTHAMPTON.  327 

ingly  glad,  was,  that  his  brother  brought  him  some  of 
his  private  writings  from  New-Jersey,  and  particularly 
his  diary,  which  he  had  kept  for  many  years  past. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  6. — "  I  began  to  read  some  of  my 
private  writings  which  my  brother  brought  me,  and 
was  considerably  refreshed  with  what  I  found  in  them. 

Sept.  7. — "  I  proceeded  further  in  reading  my  old 
private  writings,  and  found  that  they  had  the  same 
effect  upon  me  as  before.  I  could  not  but  rejoice  and 
bless  God  for  what  passed  long  ago,  which,  without 
writing,  had  been  entirely  lost. 

"  This  evening,  when  I  was  in  great  distress  of  body, 
my  soul  longed  that  God  should  be  glorified.  O  that 
I  could  for  ever  live  to  God  !  The  day,  I  trust,  is  at 
hand,  the  perfect  day.  O  the  day  of  deliverance  from 
all  sin ! 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  13. — "  I  was  much  refreshed  and 
engaged  in  meditation  and  writing,  and  found  a  heart 
to  act  for  God.  My  spirits  were  refreshed,  and  my 
soul  delighted  to  do  something  for  God." 

On  the  evening  of  that  Lord's  day,  his  feet  began 
to  swell ;  and  thenceforward  swelled  more  and  more  : 
a  symptom  of  his  dissolution  coming  on.  The  next 
day,  his  brother  John  left  him,  being  obliged  to  return 
to  New-Jersey  on  some  business  of  great  importance 
and  necessity ;  intending  to  return  again  with  all  pos- 
sible speed,  hoping  to  see  his  brother  yet  once  more  in 
the  land  of  the  living. 

BRAINERD  having  now,  with  much  deliberation,  con- 
sidered the  subject  referred  to  him  by  the  commission- 
ers of  the  Society  for  propagating  the  Gospel  in  New- 
England  and  parts  adjacent,  wrote  them  about  this 
time,  recommending  two  young  gentlemen  of  his  ac- 
quaintance, Mr.  Elihu  Spencer,  of  East  Haddam,  and  Mr. 


328  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX. 

Job  Strong,  of  Northampton,  as  suitable  missionaries 
to  the  Six  Nations.  The  commissioners,  on  the  receipt 
of  this  letter,  cheerfully  and  unanimously  agreed  to  ac- 
cept of  and  employ  the  persons  whom  he  had  recom- 
mended. 

On  Wednesday,  Sept.  16,  he  wrote  to  some  charitable 
gentlemen  in  Boston  in  behalf  of  the  Indian  school, 
showing  the  need  of  another  schoolmaster,  or  some  per- 
son to  assist  the  schoolmaster  in  instructing  the  Indian 
children.  These  gentlemen,  on  the  receipt  of  his  letter, 
had  a  meeting,  and  agreed  with  great  cheerfulness  to 
give  £200  (in  bills  of  the  old  tenor)  for  the  support  of 
another  schoolmaster ;  and  desired  the  Rev.  Mr.  Pem- 
berton,  of  New-York,  (who  was  then  at  Boston,  and  was 
also  at  their  desire,  present  at  the  meeting,)  as  soon  as 
possible  to  procure  a  suitable  person  for  that  service  ; 
and  also  agreed,  in  accordance  with  an  intimation  from 
BRAINERD,  to  allow  £74  to  defray  some  special  charges 
which  were  requisite  to  encourage  the  mission  to  the 
Six  Nations. 

BRAINERD  spent  himself  much  in  writing  those  letters, 
being  exceedingly  weak ;  but  it  seemed  to  be  much  to 
his  satisfaction  that  he  had  been  enabled  to  do  it,  hop- 
ing that  it  was  something  done  for  God,  and  which 
might  be  for  the  advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom  and 
glory.  In  writing  the  last  of  these  letters,  he  was 
obliged  to  use  the  hand  of  another. 

On  Thursday  of  this  week,  (Sept.  17,)  when  he  went 
out  of  his  lodging-room  for  the  last  time,  he  was  again 
visited  by  his  brother  ISRAEL,  who  continued  with  him 
till  his  death.  On  that  evening  he  was  taken  with  some- 
thing of  a  diarrhea,  which  he  looked  upon  as  another 
sign  of  his  approaching  death ;  whereupon  he  expressed 
himself  thus:  "  Oh,  the  glorious  time  is  now  coming! 


1747.  J  AT   NORTHAMPTON.  329 

I  have  longed  to  serve  God  perfectly :  now  God  will 
gratify  those  desires  !"  And  from  time  to  time,  at  the 
several  steps  and  new  symptoms  of  the  sensible  ap- 
proach of  his  dissolution,  he  was  so  far  from  being 
sunk  or  depressed  in  spirits,  that  he  seemed  to  be  ani- 
mated and  made  more  cheerful,  as  being  glad  at  the 
appearance  of  death's  approach.  He  often  used  the 
epithetg"/0nows,  when  speaking  of  the  day  of  his  death, 
calling  it  that  glorious  day.  And  as  he  saw  his  disso- 
lution gradually  approaching,  he  talked  much  about  it ; 
and  with  perfect  calmness  spoke  of  a  future  state.  He 
also  settled  all  his  affairs,  giving  directions  very  parti- 
cularly and  minutely  concerning  what  he  would  have 
done  in  one  respect  and  another  after  his  decease.  And 
the  nearer  death  approached,  the  more  desirous  he 
seemed  to  be  to  depart.  He  several  times  spoke  of  the 
different  kinds  of  willingness  to  die  ;  and  represented 
it  as  an  ignoble,  mean  kind,  to  be  willing  to  leave  the 
body  only  to  get  rid  of  pain  ;  or  to  go  to  heaven  only 
to  get  honor  and  advancement  there. 

Sept.  19. — "Near  night,  while  I  attempted  to  walk  a 
little,  my  thoughts  turned  thus  :  '  How  infinitely  sweet 
to  love  God,  and  be  all  for  him '.'  Upon  which  it  was 
suggested  to  me,  '  You  are  not  an  angel,  not  lively  and 
active.'  To  which  my  whole  soul  immediately  replied, 
'  I  as  sincerely  desire  to  love  and  glorify  God  as  any 
angel  in  heaven.'  Upon  which  it  was  suggested  again, 
'  But  you  are  filthy,  not  fit  for  heaven.'  Hereupon  in- 
stantly appeared  the  blessed  robes  of  Christ's  righte- 
ousness, in  which  I  could  not  but  exult  and  triumph  ; 
and  I  viewed  the  infinite  excellency  of  God,  and  my 
soul  even  broke  with  longings  that  God  should  be 
glorified.  I  thought  of  dignity  in  heaven,  but  instantly 
the  thought  returned,  '  I  do  not  go  to  heaven  to  get 


330  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [Chap.  IX 

honor,  but  to  give  all  possible  glory  and  praise.'  O 
how  I  longed  that  God  should  be  glbrified  on  earth 
also !  O  I  was  made  for  eternity,  if  God  might  be 
glorified !  Bodily  pains  I  cared  not  for ;  though  I  was 
then  in  extremity,  I  never  felt  easier.  I  felt  willing  to 
glorify  God  in  that  state  of  bodily  distress  as  long  as 
he  pleased  I  should  continue  in  it.  The  grave  appear- 
ed really  sweet,  and  I  longed  to  lodge  my  weary  bones 
in  it ;  but  O  that  God  might  be  glorified  !  this  was  the 
burden  of  all  my  cry.  O  I  knew  that  I  should  be  ac- 
tive as  an  angel  in  heaven,  and  that  I  should  be  strip- 
ped of  my  filthy  garments  !  so  that  there  was  no  ob- 
jection. But,  O  to  love  and  praise  God  more,  to  please 
him  for  ever !  this  my  soul  panted  after,  and  even  now 
pants  for,  while  I  write.  Oh  that  God  might  be  glori- 
fied in  the  whole  earth  !  '  Lord  let  thy  kingdom  come.' 
I  longed  for  a  spirit  of  preaching  to  descend  and  rest 
on  ministers,  that  they  might  address  the  consciences 
of  men  with  closeness  and  power.  I  saw  that  God 
had  the  residue  of  the  Spirit,  and  my  soul  longed  that 
it  should  be  '  poured  from  on  high.'  I  could  not  but 
plead  with  God  for  my  dear  congregation,  that  he 
would  preserve  it,  and  not  suffer  his  great  name  to  lose 
its  glory  in  that  work  ;  my  soul  still  longing  that  God 
might  be  glorified." 

The  extraordinary  frame  he  was  in  that  evening 
could  not  be  hid.  u  His  mouth  spake  out  of  the  abun- 
dance of  his  heart,"  expressing  in  a  very  affecting  man- 
ner much  the  same  things  as  are  written  in  his  diary. 
Among  very  many  other  extraordinary  expressions 
which  he  then  uttered,  were  such  as  these:  "My 
heaven  is  to  please  God,  and  glorify  him,  and  to  give  all 
to  him,  and  to  be  wholly  devoted  to  his  glory ;  that  is 
the  heaven  I  long  for ;  that  is  my  religion,  and  that  is 


1747.J  AT  NORTHAMPTON.  331 

my  happiness,  and  always  was,  ever  since  I  suppose  I 
had  any  true  religion ;  and  all  those  that  are  of  that 
religion  shall  meet  me  in  heaven.  I  do  not  go  to  hea- 
ven to  be  advanced,  but  to  give  honor  to  God.  It  is  no 
matter  where  I  shall  be  stationed  in  heaven,  whether  I 
have  a  high  or  low  seat  there ;  but  to  love,  and  please, 
and  glorify  God  is  all.  Had  I  a  thousand  souls,  if  they 
were  worth  any  thing,  I  would  give  them  all  to  God ; 
but  I  have  nothing  to  give  when  all  is  done.  It  is  im- 
possible for  any  rational  creature  to  be  happy  without 
acting  all  for  God ;  God  himself  could  not  make  him 
happy  any  other  way.  I  long  to  be  in  heaven,  prais- 
ing and  glorifying  God  with  the  holy  angels  ;  all  my 
desire  is  to  glorify  God.  My  heart  goes  out  to  the  bu- 
rying place  ;  it  seems  to  me  a  desirable  place :  but  O  to 
glorify  God  !  that  is  it;  that  is  above  all.  It  is  a  great 
comfort  to  me  to  think  that  I  have  done  a  little  for  God 
in  the  world  ;  Oh  !  it  is  but  a  very  small  matter,  yet  I 
have  done  a  little,  and  I  lament  that  I  have  not  done 
more  for  him.  There  is  nothing  in  the  world  worth 
living  for,  but  doing  good,  and  finishing  God's  work, 
doing  the  work  that  Christ  did.  I  see  nothing  else 
in  the  world  that  can  yield  any  satisfaction  besides 
living  to  God,  pleasing  him,  and  doing  his  whole 
will.  My  greatest  joy  and  comfort  has  been  to  do 
something  for  promoting  the  interest  of  religion  and 
the  souls  of  particular  persons ;  and  now,  in  my  ill- 
ness, while  I  am  full  of  pain  and  distress  from  day 
to  day,  all  the  comfort  I  have  is  in  being  able  to  do 
some  little  service  for  God,  either  by  something  I  say, 
or  by  writing,  or  in  some  other  way." 

He  intermingled  with  these,  and  other  like  expres- 
sions, many  pathetical  counsels  to  those  who  were 
about  him,  particularly  to  my  children  and  servants. 


332  LIFE   OP   BRAIHERD.  [Cb&p.  IX 

He  applied  himself  to  some  of  my  younger  children 
at  this  time ;  calling  them  to  him,  and  speaking  to 
them  one  by  one  ;  setting  before  them,  in  a  very  plain 
manner,  the  nature  and  essence  of  true  piety,  and  its 
great  importance  and  necessity  ;  earnestly  warning 
them  not  to  rest  in  any  thing  short  of  a  true  and 
thorough  change  of  heart,  and  a  life  devoted  to  God. 
He  counselled  them  not  to  be  slack  in  the  great  busi- 
ness of  religion,  nor  in  the  least  to  delay  it ;  enforcing 
his  counsels  with  this,  that  his  words  were  the  words 
of  a  dying  man.  Said  he,  "  I  shall  die  here,  and  here 
I  shall  be  buried,  and  here  you  will  see  my  grave,  and 
I  wish  you  to  remember  what  I  have  said  to  you.  I 
am  going  into  eternity ;  and  it  is  sweet  for  me  to 
think  of  eternity ;  the  endlessness  of  it  makes  it  sweet : 
but  O  what  shall  I  say  of  the  eternity  of  the  wicked  ! 
I  cannot  mention  it,  nor  think  of  it ;  the  thought  is  too 
dreadful.  When  you  see  my  grave,  then  remember 
what  I  said  to  you  while  I  was  alive  ;  then  think  how 
the  man  who  lies  in  that  grave  counselled  and  warned 
you  to  prepare  for  death." 

His  body  seemed  to  be  marvellously  strengthened, 
through  the  inward  vigor  and  refreshment  of  his  mind  ; 
so  that,  although  before  he  was  so  weak  that  he  could 
hardly  utter  a  sentence,  yet  now  he  continued  his  most 
affecting  and  profitable  discourse  to  us  for  more  than 
an  hour,  with  scarce  any  intermission  ;  and  said  of  it 
when  he  had  done,  "  it  was  the  last  sermon  that  ever 
he  should  preach."  This  extraordinary  frame  of  mind 
continued  the  next  day,  of  which  he  speaks  in  his 
diary  as  follows : 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  20. — "  Was  still  in  a  sweet  and 
comfortable  frame,  and  was  again  melted  with  desires 


1747.J  AT   NORTHAMPTON.  333 

that.  God  might  be  glorified,  and  with  longings  to  love 
and  live  to  him.  Longed  for  the  influences  of  the 
divine  Spirit  to  descend  on  ministers  in  an  especial 
manner.  And  O  I  longed  to  be  with  God,  to  behold 
his  glory,  and  to  bow  in  his  presence." 

It  appears  by  what  is  noted  in  his  diary,  both  of  this 
day  and  the  evening  preceding,  that  his  mind  at  this 
time  was  much  impressed  with  a  sense  of  the  impor- 
tance of  the  work  of  the  ministry,  and  the  need  of  the 
grace  of  God,  and  his  special  spiritual  assistance  m 
this  work  ;  it  also  appeared  in  what  he  expressed  in 
conversation,  particularly  in  his  discourse  to  his  bro- 
ther Israel,  who  was  then  a  member  of  Yale  College 
at  New-Haven,  prosecuting  his  studies  for  the  work  of 
the  ministry.*  He  now,  and  from  time  to  time,  in  this 
his  dying  state,  recommended  to  his  brother  a  life  of 
self-denial,  of  weanedness  from  the  world  and  devoted- 
ness  to  God,  and  an  earnest  endeavor  to  obtain  much 
of  the  grace  of  God's  Spirit,  and  God's  gracious  in- 
fluences on  his  heart ;  representing  the  great  need  in 
which  ministers  stand  of  them,  and  the  unspeakable 
benefit  of  them,  from  his  own  experience.  Among 
many  other  expressions,  he  said  thus:  "When  minis- 
ters feel  these  special  gracious  influences  on  their 
hearts,  it  wonderfully  assists  them  to  come  at  the  con- 
sciences of  men,  and  as  it  were  to  handle  them  with 
hands ;  whereas,  without  them,  whatever  reason  and 

*  This  brother  was  ingenious,  serious,  studious,  and  hope- 
fully pious  ;  there  appeared  in  him  many  qualities  giving  hope 
of  his  being  a  great  blessing  in  his  day.  But  it  pleased  God, 
soon  after  the  death  of  his  brother,  to  take  him  away  also.  He 
died  that  winter  at  New-Haven,  January  6, 1748,  of  a  nervous 
fever,  after  about  a  fortnight's  illness. 


334  LIFE    OF    BRAINERD.  (.Chap.  IX. 

oratory  we  make  use  of,  we  do  but  make  use  of  stumps, 
instead  of  hands." 

Sept.  21. — "  I  began  to  correct  a  little  volume  of  my 
private  writings.  God,  I  believe,  remarkably  helped 
me  in  it;  my  strength  was  surprisingly  lengthened 
out,  my  thoughts  were  quick  and  lively,  and  my  soul 
refreshed,  hoping  it  might  be  a  work  for  God.  O  how 
good,  how  sweet  it  is  to  labor  for  God! 

Sept.  22. — "  Was  again  employed  in  reading  and 
correcting,  and  had  the  same  success  as  the  day  be- 
fore. I  was  exceeding  weak,  but  it  seemed  to  refresh 
my  soul  thus  to  spend  time. 

Sept,  23. — "I  finished  my  corrections  of  the  little 
piece  before  mentioned,  and  felt  uncommonly  peace- 
ful ;  it  seemed  as  if  I  had  now  done  all  my  work  in 
this  world,  and  stood  ready  for  my  call  to  a  better. 
As  long  as  I  see  any  thing  to  be  done  for  God,  life  is 
worth  having ;  but  O  how  vain  and  unworthy  it  is  to 
live  for  any  lower  end  !  This  day  I  indited-  a  letter,  I 
think,  of  great  importance,  to  the  Rev.  Mr.  Byram,  in 
New-Jersey.  Oh  that  God  would  bless  and  succeed  that 
letter,  which  was  written  for  the  benefit  of  his  church  !* 
Oh  that  God  would  'purify  the  sons  of  Levi,'  that  his 
glory  may  be  advanced  !  This  night  I  endured  a  dread- 
ful turn,  wherein  my  life  was  expected  scarce  an  hour 
or  minute.  But,  blessed  be  God,  I  have  enjoyed  con- 
siderable sweetness  in  divine  things  this  week,  both  by 
night  and  day. 

Sept.  24. — "  My  strength  began  to  fail  exceedingly  ; 
which  looked,  further,  as  if  I  had  done  all  my  work  : 

*It  was  concerning  the  qualifications  of  ministers,  and  the 
examination  and  licensing  of  candidates  for  the  work  of  the 
ministry. 


1747.1  AT   NORTHAMPTON.  335 

however,  I  had  strength  to  fold  and  superscribe  my 
letter.  About  two  I  went  to  bed,  being  weak  and  much 
disordered,  and  lay  in  a  burning  fever  till  night,  with- 
out any  proper  rest.  In  the  evening  I  got  up,  having 
lain  down  in  some  of  my  clothes  ;  but  was  in  the  great- 
est distress,  having  an  uncommon  kind  of  hiccough  5 
which  either  strangled  me,  or  threw  me  into  a  strain- 
ing to  vomit,  accompanied  with  other  griping  pains. 

0  the  distress  of  this  evening  !  I  had  little  expectation 
of  living  the  night  through,  nor  indeed  had  any  about 
me ;  and  I  longed  for  the  finishing  moment !     I  was 
obliged  to  repair  to  bed  by  six  o'clock ;  and  through 
mercy  enjoyed  some  rest ;  but   was  grievously  dis- 
tressed at  turns  with  the  hiccough.    My  soul  breathed 
after  God,  '  When  shall  I  come  to  God,  even  to  God, 
my  exceeding  joy  ?'     Oh  for  his  blessed  likeness  ! 

Sept.  25. — "  I  was  unspeakably  weak,  and  little  bet- 
ter than  speechless  all  the  day ;  however,  I  was  able  to 
write  a  little,  and  some  part  of  the  day  was  comfort- 
able. O  it  refreshed  my  soul  to  think  of  former  things, 
of  desires  to  glorify  God,  of  the  pleasures  of  living  to 
him  !  O,  blessed  God,  I  am  speedily  coming  to  thee, 

1  hope.     Hasten  the  day,  O  Lord,  if  it  be  thy  blessed 
will.    O  come,  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly.    Amen.| 

Sept.  26. — "  I  felt  the  sweetness  of  divine  things  this 
forenoon,  and  had  the  consolation  of  a  consciousness 
that  I  was  doing  something  for  God. 

Lord's  day,  Sept.  27. — "  This  was  a  very  comfortable 
dasy  to  my  soul ;  I  think,  I  awoke  with  God.  I  was  en- 
abled to  lift  up  my  soul  to  God,  early  this  morning ; 

t  This  was  the  last  time  that  ever  he  wrote  in  his  diary  with 
his  own  hand  ;  though  it  is  continued  a  little  farther,  in  a  broken 
manner;  written  by  his  brother  Israel,  but  indited  by  his  mouth, 
in  this  his  weak  and  dying  state. 


330  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap,  IX 

and  while  I  had  little  bodily  strength,  I  found  freedom 
to  lift  up  my  heart  to  God  for  myself  and  others.  Af- 
terward, was  pleased  with  the  thoughts  of  speedily 
entering  into  the  unseen  world." 

He  felt  this  morning  an  unusual  appetite  for  food, 
with  which  his  mind  seemed  to  be  exhilarated,  lookmo- 

O 

on  it  as  a  sign  of  the  very  near  approach  of  death.  At 
this  time  he  also  said,  "  I  was  born  on  a  Sabbath-<lay , 
and  I  have  reason  to  think  I  was  new-born  on  a  Sabbath- 
day  ;  and  I  hope  I  shall  die  on  this  Sabbath-day.  1 
Bhall  look  upon  it  as  a  favor,  if  it  may  be  the  will  of 
God  that  it  should  be  so :  I  long  for  the  time.  O,  why 
is  his  chariot  so  long  in  coming  ?  why  tarry  the  wheels 
of  his  chariot  ?  I  am  very  willing  to  part  with  all :  I 
am  willing  to  part  with  my  dear  brother  John,  and 
never  to  see  him  again,  to  go  to  be  for  ever  with  the 
Lord.*  O,  when  I  go  there,  how  will  God's  deai  church 
on  earth  be  upon  my  mind  !" 

Afterward,  the  same  morning,  being  asked  how  he 
did,  he  answered,  "  I  am  almost  in  eternity ;  I  long  to 
be  there.  My  work  is  done ;  I  have  done  with  all  my 
friends :  all  the  world  is  nothing  to  me.  I  long  to  be 
in  heaven,  praising  and  glorifying  God  with  the  holy 
angels.  All  my  desire  is  to  glorify  God." 

During  the  whole  of  these  last  two  weeks  of  his  life, 
he  seemed  to  continue  in  this  frame  of  heart,  as  having 
finished  his  work,  and  done  with  all  things  here  below. 
He  had  now  nothing  to  do  but  to  die,  and  to  abide  in  an 

*  He  had,  before  this,  expressed  a  desire,  if  it  might  be  the 
will  of  God,  to  live  till  his  brother  returned  from  New-Jersey : 
who,  when  he  went  away,  intended,  if  possible,  to  perform  his 
journey,  and  return  in  a  fortnight;  hoping  once  more  to  meet 
his  brother  in  the  land  of  the  liviag.  The  fortnight  was  now 
nearly  expired. 


y  ii 


1747.J  AT   NORTHAMPTON.  337 

earnest  desire  and  expectation  of  the  happy  moment, 
when  his  soul  should  take  its  flight  to  a  state  of  perfect 
holiness,  in  which  he  should  be  found  perfectly  glori- 
fying and  enjoying  God.  He  said,  "  the  consideration 
of  the  day  of  death,  and  the  day  of  judgment,  had  a  long 
time  been  peculiarly  sweet  to  him."  From  time  to 
Lime  he  spake  of  his  being  willing  to  leave  the  body 
and  the  world  immediately — that  day,  that  night,  that 
moment — if  it  was  the  will  of  God.  He  also  was  much 
engaged  in  expressing  his  longings  that  the  Church  of 
Christ  on  earth  might  flourish,  and  Christ's  kingdom 
here  be  advanced,  notwithstanding  he  was  about  to 
leave  the  earth,  and  should  not  with  his  eyes  behold 
the  desirable  event,  nor  be  instrumental  in  promoting 
it.  He  said  to  me,  one  morning,  as  I  came  into  his 
room,  "  My  thoughts  have  been  employed  on  the  old 
dear  theme,  the  prosperity  of  God's  church  on  earth. 
A.S  I  waked  out  of  sleep,  I  was  led  to  cry  for  the  pour- 
ing out  of  God's  Spirit,  and  the  advancement  of  Christ's 
kingdom,  for  which  the  Redeemer  did  and  suffered  so 
much.  It  is  that  especially  which  makes  me  long  for 
it."  He  expressed  much  hope  that  a  glorious  advance- 
ment of  Christ's  kingdom  was  near  at  hand. 

He  once  told  me,  that  "he  had  formerly  longed  for 
the  outpouring  of  the  Spirit  of  God,  and  the  glorious 
times  of  the  church,  and  hoped  they  were  coming ;  and 
that  he  should  have  been  willing  to  live  to  promote  re- 
ligion at  that  time  if  that  had  been  the  will  of  God :  but," 
says  he,  "  I  am  willing  it  should  be  as  it  is ;  I  would  not 
have  the  choice  to  make  for  myself,  for  ten  thousand 
worlds."  He  expressed  on  his  death-bed  a  full  persua- 
sion that  he  should  in  heaven  see  the  prosperity  of  the 
church  on  earth,  and  should  rejoice  with  Christ  there 

Brawerd.  22 


338  LIFE    OF   BRAINERD.  Chap.  IX 

in ;  and  the  consideration  of  it  seemed  to  be  highly 
pleasing  and  satisfying  to  his  mind. 

He  also  still  dwelt  much  on  the  great  importance  of 
the  work  of  gospel  ministers,  and  expressed  his  long- 
ings that  they  might  be  filed  with  the  Spirit  of  God, 
He  manifested  much  desire  to  see  some  of  the  neigh- 
boring ministers  with  whom  he  had  some  acquaint- 
ance, and  of  whose  sincere  friendship  he  was  confident, 
that  he  might  converse  freely  with  them  on  that  sub- 
ject before  he  died.  And  it  so  happened,  that  he  had 
opportunity  with  some  of  them  according  to  his  desire. 

Another  thing  that  lay  much  on  his  heart  from  time 
to  time,  in  these  near  approaches  of  death,  was  the 
spiritual  prosperity  of  his  own  congregation  of  Chris- 
tian Indians  in  New-Jersey  ;  when  he  spake  of  them, 
it  was  with  peculiar  tenderness,  so  that  his  speech 
would  be  presently  interrupted  and  drowned  with 
tears. 

He  also  expressed  much  satisfaction  in  the  disposal 
of  Providence  with  regard  to  the  circumstances  of 
his  death  ;  particularly  that  God  had  before  his  death 
given  him  an  opportunity  in  Boston,  with  so  many 
considerable  persons,  ministers  and  others,  to  give  in 
his  testimony  for  God  against  false  religion,  and  many 
mistakes  that  lead  to  it  and  promote  it.  He  was  much 
pleased  that  he  had  had  an  opportunity  there  to  lay 
before  pious  and  charitable  gentlemen  the  state  of  the 
Indians,  and  their  necessities,  to  so  good  effect ;  and  that 
God  had  since  enabled  him  to  write  to  them  further 
concerning  these  affairs  ;  and  to  write  other  letters  of 
importance,  which  he  hoped  might  be  of  good  influ- 
ence with  regard  to  the  state  of  religion  among  the 
Indians,  and  elsewhere,  after  his  death.  He  expressed 
great  thankfulness  to  God  for  his  mercy  in  these  things 


1747.J  AT  NORTHAMPTON.  339 

He  also  mentioned  it  as  what  he  accounted  a  merciful 
circumstance  of  his  death,  that  he  should  die  here. 
Speaking  of  these  things,  he  said,  "God  had  granted 
him  all  his  desire;"  and  signified  that  now  he  could 
joyfully  leave  the  world. 

Sept.  28. — "  I  was  able  to  read  and  make  some  few 
corrections  in  my  private  writings,  but  found  I  could 
not  write  as  I  had  done  ;  I  found  myself  sensibly  de- 
clined in  all  respects.  It  has  been  only  from  a  little 
while  before  noon  till  about  one  or  two  o'clock,  that  1 
have  been  able  to  do  any  thing  for  some  time  past;  yet 
it  refreshed  my  heart  that  I  could  do  any  thing,  either 
public  or  private,  that  I  hoped  was  for  God." 

This  evening  he  was  supposed  to  be  dying,  both  by 
himself  and  by  those  about  him.  He  seemed  glad  at 
the  appearance  of  the  near  approach  of  death.  He  was 
almost  speechless,  but  his  lips  appeared  to  move,  and 
one  that  sat  very  near  him  heard  him  utter  such  ex- 
pressions as  these :  "  Come,  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly. 
O  why  is  his  chariot  so  long  in  coming?"  After  he  re- 
vived, he  blamed  himself  for  having  been  too  eager  to 
be  gone.  And  in  expressing  what  was  the  frame  of  his 
mind  at  that  time,  he  said  he  then  found  an  inexpres- 
sibly sweet  love  to  those  whom  he  looked  upon  as  be- 
longing to  Christ,  beyond  almost  all  that  ever  he  felt 
before  ;  so  that  it  seemed,  to  use  his  own  words,  "like 
a  little  piece  of  heaven  to  have  one  of  them  near  him." 
And  being  asked  whether  heheard  the  prayer  that  was, 
at  his  desire,  made  with  him,  he  said,  "  Yes,  he  heard 
every  word,  and  had  an  uncommon  sense  of  the  things 
that  were  uttered  in  that  prayer,  and  that  every  word 
reached  his  heart." 

On  the  evening  of  Tuesday  Sept.  29,  as  he  lay  on  his 
bed,  he  seemed  to  be  in  an  extraordinary  frame ;  his 


338  UFE    OF    BRAINERD.  Chap.  IX 

in ;  and  the  consideration  of  it  seemed  to  be  highly 
pleasing  and  satisfying  to  his  mind. 

He  also  still  dwelt  much  on  the  great  importance  of 
the  work  of  gospel  ministers,  and  expressed  his  long- 
ings that  they  might  be  filled  with  the  Spirit  of  God, 
He  manifested  much  desire  to  see  some  of  the  neigh- 
boring ministers  with  whom  he  had  some  acquaint- 
ance, and  of  whose  sincere  friendship  he  was  confident, 
that  he  might  converse  freely  with  them  on  that  sub- 
ject before  he  died.  And  it  so  happened,  that  he  had 
opportunity  with  some  of  them  according  to  his  desire. 

Another  thing  that  lay  much  on  his  heart  from  time 
to  time,  in  these  near  approaches  of  death,  was  the 
spiritual  prosperity  of  his  own  congregation  of  Chris- 
tian Indians  in  New-Jersey  ;  when  he  spake  of  them, 
it  was  with  peculiar  tenderness,  so  that  his  speech 
would  be  presently  interrupted  and  drowned  with 
tears. 

He  also  expressed  much  satisfaction  in  the  disposal 
of  Providence  with  regard  to  the  circumstances  of 
his  death  ;  particularly  that  God  had  before  his  death 
given  him  an  opportunity  in  Boston,  with  so  many 
considerable  persons,  ministers  and  others,  to  give  in 
his  testimony  for  God  against  false  religion,  and  many 
mistakes  that  lead  to  it  and  promote  it.  He  was  much 
pleased  that  he  had  had  an  opportunity  there  to  lay 
before  pious  and  charitable  gentlemen  the  state  of  the 
Indians,  and  their  necessities,  to  so  good  effect ;  and  that 
Gfod  had  since  enabled  him  to  write  to  them  further 
concerning  these  affairs  ;  and  to  write  other  letters  of 
importance,  which  he  hoped  might  be  of  good  influ- 
ence with  regard  to  the  state  of  religion  among  the 
Indians,  and  elsewhere,  after  his  death.  He  expressed 
great  thankfulness  to  God  for  his  mercy  in  these  things. 


1747.J  AT  NORTHAMPTON.  339 

He  also  mentioned  it  as  what  he  accounted  a  merciful 
circumstance  of  his  death,  that  he  should  die  here. 
Speaking  of  these  things,  he  said,  "  God  had  granted 
him  all  his  desire;"  and  signified  that  now  he  could 
joyfully  leave  the  world. 

Sept.  28. — "I  was  able  to  read  and  make  some  few 
corrections  in  my  private  writings,  but  found  I  could 
not  write  as  I  had  done  ;  I  found  myself  sensibly  de- 
clined in  all  respects.  It  has  been  only  from  a  little 
while  before  noon  till  about  one  or  two  o'clock,  that  1 
have  been  able  to  do  any  thing  for  some  time  past ;  yet 
it  refreshed  my  heart  that  I  could  do  any  thing,  either 
public  or  private,  that  I  hoped  was  for  God." 

This  evening  he  was  supposed  to  be  dying,  both  by 
himself  and  by  those  about  him.  He  seemed  glad  at 
the  appearance  of  the  near  approach  of  death.  He  was 
almost  speechless,  but  his  lips  appeared  to  move,  and 
one  that  sat  very  near  him  heard  him  utter  such  ex- 
pressions as  these:  "Come,  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly. 
O  why  is  his  chariot  so  long  in  coming?"  After  he  re- 
vived, he  blamed  himself  for  having  been  too  eager  to 
be  gone.  And  in  expressing  what  was  the  frame  of  his 
mind  at  that  time,  he  said  he  then  found  an  inexpres- 
sibly sweet  love  to  those  whom  he  looked  upon  as  be- 
longing to  Christ,  beyond  almost  all  that  ever  he  felt 
before  ;  so  that  it  seemed,  to  use  his  own  words,  "like 
a  little  piece  of  heaven  to  have  one  of  them  near  him." 
And  being  asked  whether  heheard  the  prayer  that  was, 
at  his  desire,  made  with  him,  he  said,  "  Yes,  he  heard 
every  word,  and  had  an  uncommon  sense  of  the  things 
that  were  uttered  in  that  prayer,  and  that,  every  word 
reached  his  heart." 

On  the  evening  of  Tuesday  Sept.  29,  as  he  lay  on  his 
bed,  he  seemed  to  be  in  an  extraordinary  frame ;  his 


342  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  |  Chap.  IX. 

manifested  ;  as  having  resigned  all  to  God,  and  having 
done  with  his  friends,  and  with  all  things  here  below. 
On  the  morning  of  the  next  day,  being  Lord's  day, 
Oct.  4,  as  my  daughter  Jerusha,  who  chiefly  attended 
him,  came  into  the  room,  he  looked  on  her  very  plea- 
santly, and  said,  "  Dear  Jerusha,  are  you  willing  to  part 
with  me?" — "lam  quite  willing  to  part  with  you:  I 
am  willing  to  part  with  all  my  friends :  I  am  willing  to 
part  with  my  dear  brother  John,  although  I  love  him 
the  best  of  any  creature  living:  I  have  committed  him 
and  all  my  friends  to  God,  and  can  leave  them  with 
God.  Though,  if  I  thought  I  should  not  see  you,  and 
be  happy  with  you  in  another  world,  I  could  not  bear 
to  part  with  you.  But  we  shall  spend  an  happy  eter- 
nity together  !"*  In  the  evening,  as  one  came  into  the 
room  with  a  Bible  in  her  hand,  he  expressed  himself 
thus:  "O  that  dear  book — that  lovely  book!  I  shall 
soon  see  it  opened !  The  mysteries  that  are  in  it,  and 


*  In  about  four  months,  it  pleased  a  holy  and  sovereign  God 
to  take  away  this  my  dear  child  by  death,  on  the  14th  of  Feb- 
ruary, after  a  short  illness  of  five  days,  in  the  eighteenth  year 
of  her  age.  She  was  a  person  of  much  the  same  spirit  with 
BRAINERD.  She  had  constantly  taken  care  of,  and  attended 
him  in  his  sickness, for  nineteen  weeks  before  his  death;  devo- 
ting herself  to  him  with  great  delight,  because  she  looked  on 
him  as  an  eminent  servant  of  Jesus  Christ.  In  this  time  he 
had  much  conversation  with  her  on  the  things  of  religion;  and 
in  his  dying  state,  often  expressed  to  us,  her  parents,  his  great 
satisfaction  concerning  her  true  piety,  and  his  confidence  that 
he  should  meet  her  in  heaven.  She  had  manifested  a  heart  un- 
commonly devoted  to  God;  and  said  on  her  denth-bed,  that 
"  she  had  seen  no  time  for  several  years,  when  she  desired  to 
live  one  minute  longer,  for  the  sake  of  any  other  good  in  life, 
but  doing  good,  living  to  God,  and  doing  what  might  be  for  his 
glory." 


1747.]  AT   NORTHAMPTON.  343 

the  mysteries  of  God's  providence,  will  be  all  un- 
folded !" 

On  Tuesday,  Oct.  6,  he  lay  for  a  considerable  time 
as  if  he  were  dying ;  at  which  time  he  was  heard  to 
utter,  in  broken  whispers,  such  expressions  as  these : 
"  He  will  come,  he  will  not  tarry.  I  shall  soon  be  in 
glory.  I  shall  soon  glorify  God  with  the  angels." — But 
after  some  time  he  revived. 

The  next  day,  Wednesday,  Oct.  7,  his  brother  John 
arrived  from  New- Jersey ;  where  he  had  been  detained 
much  longer  than  he  intended,  by  a  mortal  sickness 
prevailing  among  the  Christian  Indians,  and  by  some 
other  circumstances  that  made  his  stay  with  them  ne- 
cessary. BRAINERD  was  affected  and  refreshed  with 
seeing  him,  and  appeared  fully  satisfied  with  the  rea- 
sons of  his  delay ;  seeing  the  interest  of  religion  and 
the  souls  of  his  people  required  it. 

The  next  day,  Thursday,  Oct.  8,  he  was  in  great  dis- 
tress and  agonies  of  body ;  and  for  the  greater  part  of 
the  day  was  much  disordered  as  to  the  exercise  of  his 
reason.  In  the  evening  he  was  composed,  and  had 
the  use  of  his  reason ;  but  the  pain  of  his  body  con- 
tinued and  increased.  He  told  me  that  it  was  impos- 
sible for  any  one  to  conceive  of  the  distress  he  felt  in 
his  breast.  He  manifested  much  concern  lest  he  should 
dishonor  God  by  impatience  under  his  extreme  agony; 
which  was  such,  that  he  said  the  thought  of  enduring 
it  one  moment  longer  was  almost  insupportable.  He 
desired  that  others  would  be  much  in  lifting  up  their 
hearts  continually  to  God  for  him,  that  God  would  sup- 
port him,  and  give  him  patience.  He  signified  that  he 
expected  to  die  that  night ;  birt  seemed  to  fear  a  longer 
delay ;  and  the  disposition  of  his  mind  with  regard  to 
death,  appeared  still  the  same  that  it  had  been  all  along. 


344  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [  Chap.  X. 

And  notwithstanding  his  bodily  agonies,  yet  the  inte- 
rest of  Zion  lay  still  with  great  weight  on  his  mind. 
On  that  evening  he  had  considerable  discourse  with 
the  Rev.  Mr.  Billing,  one  of  the  neighboring  ministers, 
concerning  the  great  importance  of  the  work  of  the 
ministry.  Afterward,  late  in  the  night,  he  had  much 
very  proper  and  profitable  discourse  with  his  brother 
John,  concerning  his  congregation  in  New-Jersey,  and 
the  interest  of  religion  among  the  Indians.  In  the 
latter  part  of  the  night  his  bodily  distress  seemed  to 
rise  to  a  greater  height  than  ever.  Toward  day  his 
eyes  became  fixed ;  and  he  continued  lying  immova- 
ble till  about  six  o'clock  on  Friday,  Oct.  9,  1747,  when 
his  soul,  as  we  may  well  conclude,  was  received  by  his 
dear  Lord  and  Master  into  that  state  of  perfection  of 
holiness,  and  fruition  of  God,  for  which  he  had  so  often 
and  so  ardently  longed;  and  was  welcomed  by  the  glo- 
rious assembly  in  the  upper  world,  as  one  peculiarly 
fitted  to  join  them  in  their  blessed  employ  and  enjoy- 
ment. 

Much  respect  was  shown  to  his  memory  at  his  fune- 
ral; which  was  on  the  Monday  following,  after  a  ser- 
mon preached  on  that  solemn  occasion.  His  funeral 
was  attended  by  eight  of  the  neighboring  ministers, 
and  a  great  concourse  of  people. 


CHAPTER    X. 

Reflections  on  the  preceding  Memoirs. 

REFLECTION   I. 

In  the  life  of  BRAINERD  we  may  see,  as  I  apprehend. 
the  nature  of  true  religion,  and  the  manner  of  its  ope 


Chap.  X.]  REFLECTIONS.  345 

ration,  when  exemplified  in  a  high  degree  and  in  pow- 
erful exercise.  Particularly  it  may  be  worthy  to  be 
observed : 

1.  How  greatly  BRAINERD'S  religion  differed  from 
that  of  some  pretenders  to  the  experience  of  a  clear 
work  of  saving  conversion  wrought  on  their  hearts ; 
who,  depending  and  living  on  that,  settle  in  a  cold, 
careless,  and  carnal  frame  of  mind,  and  in  a  neglect-of 
a  thorough,  earnest  religion,  in  the  stated  practice  of 
it.  Although  his  convictions  and  conversion  were  in 
all  respects  exceedingly  clear,  and  very  remarkable  ; 
yet  how  far  was  he  from  acting  as  though  he  thought 
he  had  got  through  his  work,  when  once  he  had  ob- 
tained comfort,  and  satisfaction  of  his  interest  in  Christ 
and  a  title  to  heaven  !  On  the  contrary,  that  work 
on  his  heart,  by  which  he  was  brought  to  this,  was 
with  him  evidently  but  the  beginning  of  his  work;  his 
first  entering  on  the  great  business  of  religion,  and  the 
service  of  God ;  his  first  setting  out  in  his  race.  His 
work  was  not  finished,  nor  his  race  ended,  till  life  was 
ended. 

As  his  conversion  was  not  the  end  of  his  work,  or 
of  the  course  of  his  diligence  and  strivings  in  religion, 
so  neither  was  it  the  end  of  the  work  of  the  Spirit  of 
God  on  his  heart.  On  the  contrary,  it  was  the  first 
dawning  of  the  light,-  which  thenceforth  increased  more 
and  more ;  the  beginning  of  his  holy  affections,  his 
sorrow  for  sin,  his  love  to  God,  his  rejoicing  in  Jesus 
Christ,  his  longing  after  holiness.  There  are  many, 
who,  after  the  effect  of  novelty  is  over,  soon  find  their 
situation  and  feelings  very  much  the  same  as  before 
their  supposed  conversion,  with  respect  to  any  pre- 
sent thirstings  for  God,  or  ardent  out-goings  of  their 
souls  after  divine  objects.  Now  and  then,  indeed,  they 


346  LIFE   OP   BRAINERD.  [  Chap.  X 

have  a  comfortable  reflection  on  the  past,  and  arc 
somewhat  affected  with  the  remembrance,  and  so  rest 
easy,  thinking  that  it  is  safe  ;  and  they  doubt  not  but 
they  shall  go  to  heaven  when  they  die.  Far  otherwise 
was  it  with  BRAINERD.  His  experiences,  instead  of 
dying  away,  were  evidently  of  an  increasing  nature. 
His  first  love,  and  other  holy  affections,  even  at  the 
beginning,  were  very  great ;  but,  after  the  lapse  of 
months  and  years,  became  much  greater  and  more 
remarkable. 

2.  His  religion  apparently  and  greatly  differed  from 
that  of  many  high  pretenders  to  religion,  who  are  fre- 
quently actuated  by  vehement  emotions  of  mind,  and 
are  carried  on  in  a  course  of  sudden  and  strong-  im- 
pressions, and  supposed  high  illuminations  and  imme- 
diate discoveries  ;  and  at  the  same  time  are  persons  of 
a  virulent  "  zeal,  not  according  to  knowledge."  If  we 
look  through  the  whole  series  of  his  experience,  from 
his  conversion  to  his  death,  we  shall  find  none  of  this 
kind — no  imaginary  sight  of  Christ  hanging  on  the 
cross  with  his  blood  streaming  from  his  wounds;  or 
with  a  countenance  smiling  on  him;  or  arms  open  tc 
embrace  him  :  no  sight  of  the  book  of  life  opened,  with 
his  name  written  in  it;  no  hearing  God  or  Christ  speak- 
ing to  him;  nor  any  sudden  suggestions  of  words  or 
sentences,  either  of  Scripture  or  any  other,  as  then  im- 
mediately spoken  or  sent  to  him ;  no  new  revelations ; 
no  sudden  strong  suggestions  of  secret  facts.  Nor  do 
I  find  any  one  instance  in  all  the  records  which  he  has 
left  of  his  own  life,  from  beginning  to  end,  of  joy  ex 
cited  from  a  supposed  immediate  witness  of  the  Spirit; 
or  inward  immediate  suggestion,  that  his  state  was 
surely  good.  But  the  way  in  which  he  was  satisfied  of 
his  own  good  estate,  even  to  the  entire  abolishing  of 


Chap.  X.J  REFLECTIONS.  347 

fear,  was  by  feeling  within  himself  the  lively  actings 
of  a  holy  temper  and  heavenly  disposition,  the  vigorous 
exercises  of  that  divine  "love  which  casteth  out  fear." 

3.  BRAINERD'S  religion  was  not  selfish  and  mercena- 
ry; his  love  to  God  was  primarily  and  principally  for 
the  supreme  excellency  of  his  own  nature,  and  not 
built  on  a  preconceived  notion  that  God  loved  him, 
had  received  him  into  favor,  and  had  done  great  things 
for  him,  or  promised  great  things  to  him.  His  joy  was 
joy  in  God,  and  not  in  himself.  We  see  by  his  diary 
how,  from  time  to  time,  through  the  course  of  his  life, 
his  soul  was  filled  with  ineffable  sweetness  and  com- 
fort. The  affecting  considerations  and  lively  ideas  of 
God's  infinite  glory,  his  unchangeable  blessedness,  his 
sovereignty  and  universal  dominion  ;  together  with  the 
sweet  exercises  of  love  to  God,  giving  himself  up  to 
him,  abasing  himself  before  him,  denying  himself  for 
him,  depending  upon  him,  acting  for  his  glory,  diligent- 
ly serving  him ;  and  the  pleasing  prospects  or  hopes  he 
had  of  the  future  advancement  of  the  kingdom  of  Christ, 
were  the  grounds  of  his  strong  and  abiding  consolation. 

It  appears  plainly  and  abundantly  all  along,  from  his 
conversion  to  his  death,  that  the  sort  of  good  which 
was  the  great  object  of  the  new  relish  and  appetite 
given  him  in  conversion,  and  thenceforward  main- 
tained and  increased  in  his  heart,  was  HOLINESS,  con- 
formity to  God,  living  to  God,  and  glorifying  him. 
This  was  what  drew  his  heart ;  this  was  the  centre  of 
his  soul ;  this  was  the  ocean  to  which  all  the  streams 
of  his  religious  affections  tended;  this  was  the  object 
which  engaged  his  eager  thirsting  desires  and  earnest 
pursuits.  He  knew  no  true  excellency  or  happiness 
but  this;  this  was  what  he  longed  for  most  vehemently 
and  constantly  on  earth;  and  this  was  with  him  the 


348  LIFE   OF   BRAINERD.  [Chap.   X. 

beauty  and  blessedness  of  heaven.  This  made  him  so 
much  and  so  often  long  for  that  world  of  glory.  It 
was  to  be  perfectly  holy,  and  perfectly  exercised  in 
the  holy  employments  of  heaven ;  and  thus  "  to  glorify 
God  and  enjoy  him  for  ever." 

His  religious  illuminations,  affections,  and  comfort, 
seemed,  to  a  great  degree,  to  be  attended  with  evange- 
lical humiliation;  consisting  in  a  sense  of  his  own 
utter  insufficiency,  despicableness,  and  odiousness; 
with  an  answerable  disposition  and  frame  of  heart. 
How  deeply  affected  was  he  almost  continually  with 
his  great  defects  in  religion ;  with  his  vast  distance 
from  that  spirituality  and  holy  frame  of  mind  that  be- 
came him ;  with  his  ignorance,  pride,  deadness,  unstea- 
diness, barrenness !  He  was  not  only  affected  with  the 
remembrance  of  his  former  sinfulness  before  his  con- 
version, but  with  the  sense  of  his  present  vileness  and 
pollution.  He  was  not  only  disposed  to  think  meanly 
of  himself  as  before  God,  and  in  comparison  of  him; 
but  among  men,  and  as  compared  with  them.  He  was 
apt  to  think  other  saints  better  than  himself;  yea,  to 
look  on  himself  as  the  meanest  and  least  of  saints; 
yea,  very  often,  as  the  vilest  and  worst  of  mankind. 
And  notwithstanding  his  great  attainments  in  spiritual 
knowledge,  yet  we  find  there  is  scarcely  any  thing, 
with  a  sense  of  which  he  is  more  frequently  affected 
and  abased,  than  his  ignorance. 

How  eminently  did  he  appear  to  be  of  a  meek  and 
quiet  spirit,  resembling  the  lamb-like,  dove-like  spirit 
of  Jesus  Christ !  How  full  of  love,  meekness,  quiet- 
ness, forgiveness,  and  mercy  !  His  love  was  not  merely 
a  fondness  and  zeal  for  a  party,  but  an  universal  bene- 
volence; very  often  exercised  in  the  most  sensible  and 
ardent  love  to  his  greatest  opposers  and  enemies. 


Chap.  X.J  REFLECTIONS.  349 

Of  how  soft  and  tender  a  spirit  was  he !  How  far 
were  his  experiences,  hopes,  and  joys,  from  a  tendency 
finally  to  stupify  and  harden  him,  to  lessen  convictions 
and  tenderness  of  conscience,  to  cause  him  to  be  less 
affected  with  present  and  past  sins,  and  less  conscien- 
tious with  respect  to  future  sins !  How  far  were  they 
from  making  him  more  easy  in  neglect  of  duties  which 
are  troublesome  and  inconvenient,  more  slow  and  par- 
tial in  complying  with  difficult  commands,  less  apt  to 
be  alarmed  at  the  appearance  of  his  own  defects  and 
transgressions,  more  easily  induced  to  a  compliance 
with  carnal  appetites !  On  the  contrary,  how  tender 
was  his  conscience !  how  apt  was  his  heart  to  smite 
him  !  how  easily  and  greatly  was  he  alarmed  at  the 
appearance  of  moral  evil !  how  great  and  constant  was 
his  jealousy  over  his  own  heart !  how  strict  his  care 
and  watchfulness  against  sin !  how  deep  and  sensible 
were  the  wounds  that  sin  made  in  his  conscience ! 
Those  evils  which  are  generally  accounted  small,  were 
almost  an  insupportable  burden  to  him;  such  as  his 
inward  deficiencies,  his  having  no  more  love  to  God, 
finding  within  himself  any  slackness  or  dullness  in  re- 
ligion, any  unsteadiness  or  wandering  frame  of  mind. 
How  did  the  consideration  of  such  things  as  these  op- 
press and  abase  him,  and  fill  him  with  inward  shame 
and  confusion  !  His  love  and  hope,  though  they  were 
such  as  cast  out  a  servile  fear  of  hell,  yet  were  attended 
with,  and  abundantly  cherished  and  promoted  a  reve- 
rential filial  fear  of  God,  a  dread  of  sin  and  of  God's 
holy  displeasure.  His  joy  seemed  truly  to  be  a  rejoi- 
cing with  trembling.  His  assurance  and  comfort  dif- 
fered greatly  from  a  false  enthusiastic  confidence  and 
joy.  in  that  it  promoted  and  maintained  mourning  for 
sin.  He  did  not,  after  he  received  comfort  and  full  sa- 


350  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  (.Chap.  X. 

tisfaction  of  the  safety  of  his  state,  forget  his  past  sins, 
whether  committed  before  or  after  his  conversion;  but 
the  remembrance  of  them,  from  time  to  time,  revived 
in  his  heart  with  renewed  grief.  That  passage  was 
evidently  fulfilled  in  him,  "  That  thou  mayest  remem- 
ber, and  be  confounded,  and  never  open  thy  mouth  any 
more,  because  of  thy  shame ;  when  I  am  pacified  to- 
ward thee  for  all  that  thou  hast  done."  Ezek.  16  :  63. 

His  religious  affections  and  joys  were  not  like  those 
of  some,  who  have  rapture  and  mighty  emotions  from 
time  to  time  in  company;  but  have  very  little  affec- 
tion in  retirement  and  secret  places.  Though  he  was 
of  a  very  sociable  temper,  and  loved  the  company  ot 
saints,  and  delighted  very  much  in  religious  conversa- 
tion, and  in  social  worship ;  yet  his  warmest  affections, 
and  their  greatest  effects  on  his  animal  nature,  and  his 
sweetest  joys,  were  in  his  closet  devotions,  and  solitary 
transactions  between  God  and  his  own  soul :  as  is  very 
observable  through  his  whole  course,  from  his  conver- 
sion to  his  death.  He  delighted  greatly  in  sacred  re- 
tirements; and  loved  to  get  quite  away  from  all  the 
world,  to  converse  with  God  alone,  in  secret  duties. 

BRAINERD'S  experiences  and  comforts  were  very  far 
from  being  like  those  of  some  persons,  which  are  at- 
tended with  a  spiritual  satiety,  and. which  put  an  end 
to  their  religious  desires  and  longings,  at  least  to  the 
edge  and  ardency  of  them;  resting  satisfied  in  their 
own  attainments  and  comforts,  as  having  obtained 
their  chief  end,  which  is  to  extinguish  their  fears  of 
hell,  and  give  them  confidence  of  the  favor  of  God. 
On  the  contrary,  they  were  always  attended  with  long- 
ings and  thirstings  after  greater  degrees  of  conformity 
to  God !  The  greater  and  sweeter  his  comforts  were, 
the  more  vehement  were  his  desires  after  holiness. 


Chap.  X.J  REFLECTIONS.  351 

His  longings  were  not  so  much  after  joyful  discoveries 
of  God's  love,  and  clear  views  of  his  own  tide  to  future 
advancement  and  eternal  honors  in  heaven ;  as  after 
more  of  present  holiness,  greater  spirituality,  an  heart 
more  engaged  for  God,  to  love,  and  exalt,  and  depend 
on  him.  He  earnestly  wished  to  serve  God  better,  to 
do  more  for  his  glory,  to  do  all  that  he  did  with  more 
of  a  regard  to  Christ  as  his  righteousness  and  strength, 
and  to  behold  the  enlargement  and  advancement  of  his 
kingdom  on  earth.  His  desires  were  not  idle  wishes, 
but  such  as  were  powerful  and  effectual,  to  animate 
him  to  the  earnest,  eager  pursuit  of  these  things,  with 
the  utmost  diligence  and  unfainting  labor  and  self- 
denial.  His  comforts  never  put  an  end  to  his  seeking 
after  God,  and  striving  to  obtain  his  grace;  but,  on  the 
contrary,  greatly  engaged  him  therein. 

4.  His  religion  did  not  consist  in  experience  without 
practice.  All  his  inward  illuminations,  affections,  and 
comforts,  seemed  to  have  a  direct  tendency  to  practice, 
and  to  issue  in  it :  and  this,  not  merely  a  practice  ne- 
gatively good,  free  from  gross  acts  of  irreligion  and 
immorality;  but  a  practice  positively  holy  and  Chris- 
tian, in  a  serious,  devout,  humble,  meek,  merciful, 
charitable,  and  beneficent  conversation ;  making  the 
service  of  God  and  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  the  great 
business  of  life,  to  which  he  was  devoted,  and  which 
he  pursued  with  the  greatest  earnestness  and  diligence 
to  the  end  of  his  days,  through  all  trials.  In  him  was 
to  be  seen  the  right  way  of  being  lively  in  religion. 
His  liveliness  in  religion  did  not  consist  merely,  or 
mainly,  in  his  being  lively  with  the  tongue,  but  in  deed; 
not  in  being  forward  in  profession  and  outward  show, 
and  abundant  in  declaring  his  own  experiences;  but 
chiefly  in  being  active  and  abundant  in  the  labors  and 


352  LIFE    OP   BRAINERD.  |  Chap.  X 

duties  of  religion ;  "  not  slothful  in  business,  but  fer- 
vent in  spirit,  serving  the  Lord,  and  serving  his  gene- 
ration, according  to  the  will  of  God." 


REFLECTION    II. 

The  foregoing  account  of  BRAINERD'S  life  may  con- 
vince us,  that  there  is  indeed  such  a  thing  as  true  ex- 
perimental religion,  arising  from  an  immediate  divine 
influence,  supernaturally  enlightening  and  convincing 
the  mind,  and  powerfully  impressing,  quickening,  sanc- 
tifying, and  governing  the  heart. 

If  any  insist  that  BRAINERD'S  religion  was  mere  en- 
thusiasm'.,  the  result  of  a  heated  imagination,  I  would 
ask,  What  were  the  FRUITS  of  his  enthusiasm  1  In  him 
we  behold  a  great  degree  of  honesty  and  simplicity ; 
sincere  and  earnest  desires  and  endeavors  to  know  and 
do  whatever  is  right,  and  to  avoid  every  thing  that  is 
wrong ;  a  high  degree  of  love  to  God ;  delight  in  the 
perfections  of  his  nature,  placing  the  happiness  of  life 
in  him,  not  only  in  contemplating  him,  but  in  being 
active  in  pleasing  and  serving  hfm;  a  firm  and  undoubt- 
ing  belief  in  the  Messiah,  as  the  Savior  of  the  world, 
the  great  Prophet  of  God,  and  King  of  the  church,  to- 
gether with  great  love  to  him,  delight  and  complacence 
in  the  way  of  salvation  by  him,  and  longing  for  the  en- 
largement of  his  kingdom ;  earnest  desires  that  God 
may  be  glorified  and  the  Messiah's  kingdom  advancedj 
whatever  instruments  are  employed ;  uncommon  resig- 
nation to  the  will  of  God,  and  that  under  vast  trials ; 
and  great  and  universal  benevolence  to  mankind,  reach- 
ing all  sorts  of  persons  without  distinction,  manifested 
in  sweetness  of  speech  and  behavior,  kind  treatment, 
mercy,  liberality,  and  earnestly  seeking  the  good  of  the 


Ohap.  X.J  REFLECTIONS.  353 

souls  and  bodies  of  men.  All  this  we  behold  attended 
with  extraordinary  humility,  meekness,  forgiveness 
of  injuries,  and  love  to  enemies.  In  him  we  see  a 
modest,  discreet,  and  decent  deportment,  among  supe- 
riors, inferiors,  and  equals;  a  most  diligent  improve- 
ment of  time;  earnest  care  to  lose  no  part  of  it;  and 
great  watchfulness  against  all  sorts  of  sin,  of  heart, 
speech,  and  action.  This  example  and  these  endea- 
rors  we  see  attended  with  most  happy  fruits,  and 
blessed  effects  on  others,  in  humanizing,  civilizing,  and 
wonderfully  reforming  and  transforming  some  of  the 
most  brutish  savages ;  idle,  immoral  drunkards,  mur- 
derers, gross  idolaters,  and  wizards;  bringing  them  to 
permanent  sobriety,  diligence,  devotion,  honesty,  con- 
scientiousness, and  charity.  The  foregoing  virtues  and 
successful  labors  all  end  at  last  in  a  marvellous  peace, 
immovable  stability,  calmness,  and  resignation,  in  the 
sensible  approaches  of  death;  with  longing  for  the 
heavenly  state ;  not  only  for  the  honors  and  circum- 
stantial advantages  of  it,  but  above  all,  for  the  moral 
perfection  and  holy  and  blessed  employments  of  it. 
These  things  are  seen  in  a  person  indisputably  of  good 
understanding  and  judgment.  I  therefore  say,  if  all 
these  things  are  the  fruits  of  enthusiasm,  why  should 
not  enthusiasm  be  thought  a  desirable  and  excellent 
thing?  For  what  can  true  religion,  what  can  the  best 
philosophy,  do  more? 

REFLECTION    III. 

The  preceding  history  serves  to  confirm  the  doctrines 
of  grace.  For  if  it  be  allowed  that  there  is  truth,  sub- 
stance, or  value  in  the  main  of  BRAINERD'S  religion,  it 
will  undoubtedly  follow,  that  those  doctrines  are  di- 

Brainerd.  og 


354  LIFE   OF    BRAINKRD.  [Chap.  X 

vine;  since  it  is  evident  that  the  whole  of  it,  from  begin- 
ning to  end,  accords  with  them.  He  was  brought,  by 
doctrines  of  this  kind,  to  his  awakening  and  deep  con- 
cern about  things  of  a  spiritual  and  eternal  nature ;  by 
these  doctrines  his  convictions  were  maintained  and 
carried  on ;  and  his  conversion  was  evidently  altoge- 
ther agreeable  to  them.  His  conversion  was  no  con- 
firming and  perfecting  of  moral  principles  and  habits, 
by  use,  and  practice,  and  industrious  discipline,  toge- 
ther with  the  concurring  suggestions  and  conspiring 
aids  of  God's  Spirit;  but  entirely  a  supernatural  work, 
at  once  turning  him  from  darkness  to  marvellous  light, 
and  from  the  power  of  sin  to  the  dominion  of  divine 
and  holy  principles.  It  was  an  effect,  in  no  respect 
produced  by  his  strength  or  labor,  or  obtained  by  his 
virtue;  and  not  accomplished  till  he  was  first  brought 
to  a  full  conviction,  that  all  his  own  virtue,  strength, 
labors  and  endeavors,  could  never  avail  any  thing  to- 
ward producing  or  procuring  this  effect. 

If  ever  BRAINERD  was  truly  turned  from  sin  to  God 
at  all,  or  ever  became  truly  religious,  none  can  reason- 
ably doubt  but  that  his  conversion  was  at  the  time 
when  he  supposed  it  to  be.  The  change  which  he  then 
met  with,  was  evidently  the  greatest  moral  change 
that  he  ever  experienced;  and  he  was  then  apparently 
first  brought  to  that  kind  of  religion,  that  remarkable 
new  habit  and  temper  of  mind,  which  he  held  all  his 
life  after.  The  narration  shows  it  to  be  different,  in 
nature  and  kind,  from  all  of  which  he  was  ever  the 
subject  before.  It  was  evidently  wrought  at  once 
without  fitting  and  preparing  his  mind,  by  gradually 
convincing  it  more  and  more  of  the  same  truths,  and 
bringing  it  nearer  and  nearer  to  such  a  temper:  it  was 
soon  after  his  mind  had  been  remarkably  full  of  bias- 


Chap.  X.j  REFLECTIONS.  355 

phem)',  and  a  vehement  exercise  of  sensible  enmity 
against  God,  and  great  opposition  to  those  truths  which 
he  was  now  brought  with  his  whole  soul  to  embrace, 
and  rest  in  as  divine  and  glorious;  truths,  in  the  con- 
templation and  improvement  of  which  he  placed  his 
happiness.  He  himself,  who  was  surely  best  able  to 
judge,  declares,  that  the  dispositions  and  affections 
which  were  then  given  him,  and  thenceforward  main- 
tained in  him,  were,  most  sensibly  and  certainly,  alto- 
gether different  in  their  nature  from  all  of  which  he 
was  ever  the  subject  before,  or  of  which  he  ever  had 
any  conception. 

Hence  it  is  very  evident  that  BKAINERD'S  religion  was 
the  effect  of  the  doctrines  of  grace  applied  to  his  heart: 
and  certainly  it  cannot  be  denied  that  the  effect  was 
good,  unless  we  turn  atheists  or  deists.  I  would  ask 
whether  there  be  any  such  thing,  in  reality,  as  Chris- 
tian devotion?  If  there  be,  what  is  if?  what  is  its  na- 
ture? and  what  its  just  measure?  Should  it  not  be  in 
a  great  degree  ?  We  read  abundantly  in  Scripture  of 
"  loving  God  with  all  the  heart,  with  all  the  soul,  with 
all  the  mind,  and  with  all  the  strength;  of  delighting 
in  God,  of  rejoicing  in  the  Lord,  rejoicing  with  joy  un- 
speakable and  full  of  glory;  the  soul  magnifying  the 
Lord,  thirsting  for  God,  hungering  and  thirsting  after 
righteousness;  the  soul  breaking  for  the  longing  it 
hath  to  God's  judgments,  praying  to  God  with  groan- 
ings  that  cannot  be  uttered,  mourning  for  sin  with  a 
broken  heart  and  contrite  spirit,"  &c.  How  full  are 
the  Psalms,  and  other  parts  of  Scripture,  of  such  tljings 
as  these !  Now  wherein  do  these  things,  as  expressed 
by  and  appearing  in  BRAINERD,  either  the  things  them- 
selves, or  their  effects  and  fruits,  differ  from  the  Scrip- 
ture representations?  To  these  things  he  was  brought 


356  LIFE    OF    BKA1NEHD.  [Chap.   X. 

by  that  strange  and  wonderful  transformation  of  the 
man,  which  he  calted  his  conversion.  Does  not  this 
well  agree  with  what  is  so  often  said  in  the  Old  Tes- 
tament and  the  New,  concerning  "  giving  a  new  heart 
creating  a  right  spirit,  being  renewed  in  the  spirit  of 
the  mind,  being  sanctified  throughout,  becoming  a  new 
creature  ?" 

REFLECTION    IV. 

Is  there  not  much  in  the  preceding  memoirs  of 
BRAINERD  to  teach,  and  excite  to  duty,  us  who  are 
called  to  the  work  of  the  ministry,  and  all  who  are  can-f 
didates  for  that  great  work?  What  a  deep  sense  did 
he  seem  to  have  of  the  greatness  and  importance  of 
that  work,  and  with  what  weight  did  it  lie  on  his  mind ! 
How  sensible  was  he  of  his  own  insufficiency  for  this 
work;  and  how  great  was  his  dependence  on  God's 
sufficiency!  How  solicitous  that  he  might  be  fitted  for 
it !  and  to  this  end,  how  much  time  did  he  spend  in 
prayer  and  fasting,  as  well  as  reading  and  meditation; 
giving  himself  to  these  things!  How  did  he  dedicate 
his  whole  life,  all  his  powers  and  talents  to  God ;  and 
forsake  and  renounce  the  world,  with  all  its  pleasing 
and  ensnaring  enjoyments,  that  he  might  be  wholly  at 
liberty  to  serve  Christ  in  this  work,  and  to  "  please 
him  who  had  chosen  him  to  be  a  soldier  under  the 
Captain  of  our  salvation !"  With  whW  solicitude,  so- 
lemnity and  diligence  did  he  devote  himself  to  God 
our  Savior,  and  seek  his  presence  arid  blessing  in  se- 
cret, at  the  time  of  his  ordination  !  and  how  did  his 
whole  heart  appear  to  be  constantly  engaged,  his  whole 
time  employed,  and  his  whole  strength  spent  in  the 
business  he  then  solemnly  undertook,  and  to  which  he 
was  publicly  set  apart!  His  history  shows  us  the  right 


Chap.  X.J  KBFLECTfONS.  357 

way  to  success  in  the  work  of  the  ministry.  He  sought 
it,  as  a  resolute  soldier  seeks  victory  in  a  siege  or  bat- 
tle ;  or  as  a  man  who  runs  a  race,  seeks  a  great  prize. 
Animated  with  love  to  Christ  and  the  souls  of  men, 
how  did  he  "  labor  always  fervently,"  not  only  in  word 
and  doctrine,  in  public  and  private,  but  in  prayers  day 
and  night,  "  wrestling  with  God"  in  secret,  and  "tra- 
vailing in  birth,"  with  unutterable  groans  and  agonies, 
"  until  Christ  were  formed  "  in  the  hearts  of  the  people 
to  whom  he  was  sent !  How  did  he  thirst  for  a  bless- 
ing on  his  ministry,  and  "  watch  for  souls,  as  one  that 
must  give  account !"  How  did  he  "  go  forth  in  the 
strength  of  the  Lord  God,"  seeking  and  depending  on 
a  special  influence  of  the  Spirit  to  assist  and  succeed 
him !  What  was  the  happy  fruit  at  last,  though  after 
long  waiting,  and  many  dark  and  discouraging  appear- 
ances? Like  a  true  son  of  Jacob,  he  persevered  in 
wrestling,  through  all  the  darkness  of  the  night,  until 
the  breaking  of  the  day. 

To  Missionaries  in  particular,  may  his  example  of 
laboring,  praying,  denying  himself,  and  enduring  hard- 
ness with  unfainting  resolution  and  patience,  and  his 
faithful,  vigilant,  and  prudent  conduct  in  many  other 
respects,  afford  instruction. 

REFLECTION    V. 

The  foregoing  account  of  BRAINERD'S  life  may  afford 
instruction  to  Christians  in  general;  as  it  shows,  in 
many  respects,  the  right  way  of  practising-  religion,  in 
order  to  obtain  the  ends,  and  receive  the  benefits  of  it ; 
or  how  Christians  should  "  run  the  race  set  before 
Ihem,"  if  they  would  not  "  run  in  vain,  or  run  as  un- 
certainly," but  would  honor  God  in  the  world,  adorn 


358  LIFE    OF    BKAINEHD.  [Chap.   X. 

their  profession,  be  serviceable  to  mankind,  have  the 
comforts  of  religion  while  they  live,  be  free  from  dis- 
quieting doubts  and  dark  apprehensions  about  the 
state  of  their  souls,  enjoy  peace  in  the  approaches  of 
death,  and  "  finish  their  course  with  joy."  In  general, 
he  much  recommended,  for  this  purpose,  the  redemp- 
tion of  time,  great  diligence  in  the  business  of  the 
Christian  life,  watchfulness,  &c.  and  he  very  remarka- 
bly exemplified  these  things. 

Particularly,  his  example  and  success  with  regard  to 
one  duty,  in  an  especial  manner,  may  be  of  great  use 
to  both  ministers  and  private  Christians  ;  I  mean  the 
duty  of  secret  fasting.  The  reader  has  seen  how 
much  BRAINERD  recommends  this  duty,  and  how  fre- 
quently he  exercised  himself  in  it ;  nor  can  it  well 
have  escaped  observation,  how  much  he  was  owned 
and  blessed  in  it,  and  of  what  great  benefit  it  evidently 
was  to  his  soul.  Among  all  the  many  days  he  spent 
in  secret  fasting  and  prayer,  of  which  he  gives  an  ac- 
count in  his  diary,  there  is  scarcely  an  instance  of  one 
which  was  not  either  attended  or  soon  followed  with 
apparent  success,  and  a  remarkable  blessing,  in  special 
influences  and  consolations  of  God's  Spirit ;  and  very 
often  before  the  day  was  ended.  But  it  must  be  ob- 
served, that  when  he  set  about  this  duty,  he  did  it  in 
good  earnest ;  "  stirring  up  himself  to  take  hold  of 
God,"  and  "  continuing  instant  in  prayer,"  with  much 
of  the  spirit  of  Jacob,  who  said  to  the  angel,  "  I  will 
not  let  thee  go,  except  thou  bless  me." 

REFLECTION   VI. 

There  is  much  in  the  preceding  account  to  excite 
and  encourage  God's  people  to  earnest  prayers  aivJ 


Chap.  X.J  REFLECTIONS.  359 

endeavors  for  the  advancement  and  enlargement  of  the 
kingdom  of  Christ  in  the  world.  BRAINERD  set  us  an 
excellent  example  in  this  respect.  He  sought  the  pros- 
perity of  Zion  with  all  his  might ;  and  preferred  Jeru- 
salem above  his  chief  joy.  How  did  his  soul  long  for 
it,  and  pant  after  it !  how  earnestly  and  often  did  he 
wrestle  with  God  for  it !  and  how  far  did  he  in  these 
desires  and  prayers  seem  to  be  carried  beyond  all  pri- 
vate and  selfish  views  !  being  animated  by  a  pure  love 
to  Christ,  an  earnest  desire  of  his  glory,  and  a  disinte- 
rested affection  to  the  souls  of  mankind. 

The  consideration  of  this,  not  only  ought  to  be  an 
incitement  to  the  people  of  God,  but  may  also  be  a  just 
encouragement  to  them,  to  be  much  in  seeking  and 
praying  for  a  general  outpouring  of  the  Spirit  of  God, 
and  an  extensive  revival  of  religion.  I  confess,  that 
God's  giving  so  much  of  a  spirit  of  prayer  for  this 
mercy  to  so  eminent  a  servant  of  his,  and  exciting 
him  in  so  extraordinary  a  manner,  and  with  such  ve- 
hement thirstings  of  soul,  to  agonize  in  prayer  for  it, 
from  time  to  time,  through  the  course  of  his  life,  is 
one  thing,  among  others,  which  gives  me  great  hope 
that  God  has  a  design  of  accomplishing  something  very 
glorious  for  the  interest  of  his  church  before  long.  One 
such  instance  as  this,  I  conceive,  gives  more  encou- 
ragement than  the  common,  cold,  formal  prayers  of 
thousands.  As  BRAINERD'S  desires  and  prayers  for  the 
coming  of  Christ's  kingdom  were  very  special  and  ex- 
it aordinary  ;  so  I  think  we  may  reasonably  hope,  that 
the  God  who  excited  those  desires  and  prayers,  will 
answer  them  with  something  special  and  extraordi- 
nary. And  in  a  particular  manner  do  I  think  it  wor- 
thy of  notice  for  our  encouragement,  that  he  had  his 
heart  unusually  drawn  out  in  longings  and  prayers  for 


&  LII  E    UK    BKAINEKU. 

the  flourishing  of  Christ's  kingdom  on  earth  when  he 
was  in  the  approaches  of  death;  and  that  with  his  dy- 
ing breath  ho  breathed  out  his  departing  soul  into  the 
bosom  of  nis  Redeemer,  in  prayers  and  pantings  after 
the  glorious  event;  expiring  in  very  great  hope  thai 
it  would  soon  begin  to  be  fulfilled. 

I  would  not  conclude  these  reflections  witnout  a 
grateful  acknowledgment  of  the  mercy  of  God  in  vhe 
circumstances  of  BHAINERD'S  death,  and  especially  the 
gracious  dispensation  of  Providence  to  me  and  my 
family,  in  so  ordering  that  he,  though  the  ordinary 
place  of  his  abode  was  more  than  two  hundred  miles 
distant,  should  be  brought  to  my  house  in  his  last  sick- 
ness, and  should  die  here.  Thus  we  had  opportunity 
for  much  acquaintance  and  conversation  with  him,  to 
show  him  kindness  in  such  circumstances,  to  see  his 
dying  behavior,  to  hear  his  dying  speeches,  to  receive 
his  dying  counsels,  and  to  have  the  benefit  of  his  dying 
prayers.  May  God  in  infinite  mercy  grant,  that  we 
may  ever  retain  a  proper  remembrance  of  these  things, 
and  make  a  due  improvement  of  the  advantages  we 
have  had  in  these  respects  !  The  Lord  grant  also,  that 
the  foregoing  account  of  BRAINERD'S  life  and  death  may 
be  for  the  great  spiritual  benefit  of  all  who  shall  read  it, 
and  prove  a  happy  means  of  promoting  the  revival  of 
true  religion !  Amen. 


Perpnr.uurd  li\  Hie  Uouatiiuia  of  Messrs.  George  Douglass,  Charles  Si«rr 
»ml  Will.am  A.  Hullock,  of  Njw-York. 


UC  SOUTHERN I  REGION, 


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